Sunday Seven: This Weeks Favourites

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Hello and welcome back to Sunday Seven because I’m now well enough to sit and think of seven things without getting confused and stressed. Ah the wonders of the human body. For the majority of Sunday Seven’s in the future it’ll be a round of up my favourite things or things that have interested me this week, so here we go!

1. H&M’s Compact Foundation in Soft Sand 

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As you all know I’m not a beauty blogger, although my Twitter followers were very enthusiastic about the thought of me doing a what’s in my make up bag post. I got into make-up very late and foundation has always been something I worried about, then I found this beauty. It’s light, stays on and gives a good coverage, particularly covering up my bad skin where I’ve been ill and dehydrated. The best thing is that it also only costs £7.99, you can find it here.

2. Sunshine this week! 

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I finally got to see some sun this week, this was taken yesterday when it was pretty faint but today I actually got warm because it was sunny, hooray! Winter is nearly over! Winter is way too miserable when Christmas is over.

3. Celebrating the great people I go to uni with 

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You might have seen my instagram (@chloemetz_ if you want to follow each other) or my post about the KU Talent Awards this week. It may be my third time attending but I’m constantly amazed at the incredible people I go to uni with and that I’ve been considered one of them multiple times. If you want to read about what I got up to have a look over here.

4. Positive quotes at home

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I’m a sucker for positive quotes around my home. Or positive quotes in general, I mean I even have one tattooed on me. I already have a few postcards like this but when I saw these in my local Paperchase I had to buy them because they’re just little pick me ups for when I’m feeling down. There are loads of different ones in store but they also have some online.

5. The Wicked and The Divine Vol. 2.

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I’m a big comic book and graphic novel fan and so after reading the first in the series I was desperate for the second and now after finishing the second in one sitting I’m desperate to read the third. The series can be a little confusing at times but I love it and I’m seriously in love with the artwork too.

6. Creme Egg McFlurry

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According to my online research they are back THIS WEDNESDAY get excited. Creme eggs in general are my weakness at this point in the year, probably because they are only available for a certain period of time and mixing that with a McFlurry is heaven to me. So you’ll know where to find me Wednesday afternoon.

7. Playing shows with the boys. 

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For the first time in a long time I got to play a show with the boys. Not only did I have a great time performing, I also got commented on how much better I’m looking!

Why YOU shouldn’t be worried about Kim Kardashian’s selfie

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The internet exploded a few days ago after Kim Kardashian posted a naked picture of herself on Instagram. It’s not the first time Kim’s dared to bare all on her Instagram but this time a Twitter row caught the internet’s attention. Bette Midler, Chloe Grace Mortz and Piers Morgan all jumped in with either ‘witty’ or catty remarks about Kim. Scouring the internet it seemed everyone seemed to have an opinion on Kim’s post or her body. People got so invested in this and wrote comment after comment about what THEY thought Kim should be doing and what THEY thought it would do to her kids in the future.

Now, I know that the Kardashian’s have a lot of friends but I’m pretty sure all of the people leaving comments on a facebook page don’t personally know Kim. People were spending their time bitching, whining and trying to tell her off. I couldn’t help but feel that these people, some of whom were incredibly rude could have had something better to do with their day than be a keyboard warrior and spread even more hate in this world.

I thought she looked great and if someone is comfortable enough to do that on their own social media channel then who are we to judge? No one is putting your body up there or asking you to copy, so why get so worked up? People were saying she’s a disgraceful mother for doing this. From what I can see her children are loved, cared for and provided for. Whether or not she wants to show off her body is her business but it doesn’t mean she is a better or worse parent.

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Picture posted on Kim Kardashian West’s Instagram 

The point I’m trying to get across this that obsessing over what another woman is doing is literally pointless, especially when you don’t know the person. If we focus a little more on our own lives and our own bodies we’d probably all be a little happier, hell we might even be as confident as Kim seems to be! To combat the haters Kim wrote about her experience that yes she was a wife and a mother but she is allowed to be sexy too. I think she has a point, you don’t just wither and die when you get married and have kids, my Mum has a (sort of) grown up daughter and another teenage daughter and still looks hotter than some 20 year olds I know.

We need to stop judging other women on how they present themselves and what they want to do with their bodies. I know for a fact that if an attractive man of the same age as Kim had done this there would have been no fuss, no nastiness, just appreciation for his body. I am going to call out sexism because that is what the media and most people are playing at, some without even knowing it. So we shouldn’t be getting over a woman showing off her body and if I looked like that,  I’d probably show mine off too because I’d be damn proud of myself for feeling that confident in my own skin.

A little less hate can go a long way, in the words of Ellen Degeneres, ‘Be Kind”

KU Talent Awards 2016

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Tonight I attended my third KU Talent Awards! After being shortlisted for Rising Star in my first year, winning Overcoming Adversity to Achieve and being shortlisted for Second Year of the Year in my second year and now shortlisted for the Future Leader award, it’s been a great celebration throughout my undergrad. The nomination for this year’s award is for my work raising awareness and working with mental health, generally trying to make the world a better place. I’m home earlier than anticipated and I didn’t manage to collect an award this year, but I’m proud of myself.

You see, going tonight was about more than just trying to win an award to match the other, it was bigger. I’ve been anxious about it for the week, there are a lot of people at these events and there’s a lot of networking and on to of that I have to wear something ‘nice’. You guys know I’ve struggled a lot in the past year with my depression and anxiety and after my spine accident I lost a lot of confidence, so this years event was a big challenge. I did struggle tonight to sit, smile and engage in conversations when my brain was screaming RUUUUNNN AWWWWAAAAAAYYYYY, but I managed with my Mum by my side.

I’m not upset that I didn’t win, because I heard the story of the girl who did and she was an incredible person who really deserved the award for all of her hard work. Everyone has their time to shine, and mine was last year, which was truly one of the best nights of my life and I’m so lucky that my Mum got to share it with me. We don’t get to do as much just the two of us any more so I’m forever grateful when we get to hang out, because she really is my best friend.

I might not have won, but I got shortlisted and I fought my Anxiety and Depression once again and didn’t let it stop me, and that’s prize enough.

Book Review: Orange Is The New Black – Piper Kerman

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“Prison is quite literally a ghetto in the most classic sense of the world, a place where the U.S. government now puts not only the dangerous but also the inconvenient—people who are mentally ill, people who are addicts, people who are poor and uneducated and unskilled.”

Most of the world (well the people in the world with a Netflix account) have seen or heard of Orange is the New Black. News that it’s been renewed for another 3 seasons saw Twitter go into meltdown with excitement. If you haven’t heard of it Piper Kerman goes to prison for a crime she committed in her 20s, her past has now caught up with her. I watched the show when it first came out and wasn’t hooked, it wasn’t until I watched Piper’s Ted Talk that I decided I was aware of the book.

I was surprised to learn that the book was far from the scandal and romps shown in the show. Kerman is thoughtful, intelligent and committed to  helping prison inmates all across america, quoting statistics about the numbers in prison that seem impossible, but are sadly true. The vast majority in the prison during Kerman’s stay are either poor, uneducated or an ethnic minority, most without even a high school education. It made me think a lot about prison rehabilitation and why, on so many occasions, it fails.

Of course there are rivalries and groups within the prison system, there are inmates that are to be respected and at times feared. Gradually Piper seems to gain relationships throughout and actually show these women as the people they are, not just what they’re branded in the media. There are mothers, sisters, aunts and friends behind those bars who can create a sense of comradery, particularly when one of the women is going home, particularly after a long stretch.

The book does start off fairly slow, and can be confusing at first as there are flashbacks to the drug smuggling that puts Kerman in prison in the first place, apart from that I have very little criticism. This is an incredibly well written and thought provoking book. Of course Kerman isn’t stupid, it isn’t about sob stories for women behind bars, instead it questions the society which these women have come from. I think that’s what I liked most about it, that it shows a wide spectrum of women.

I gave this book 4 stars ****. As I said it’s quite slow to get into and can be confusing at times, which made it easy to put down at the beginning and that’s such a shame because it is a really well written memoir.  The passion and intelligence makes this book what it is, Kerman is incredibly talented and has spoken loud and clear to the masses, who otherwise wouldn’t think twice about prison inmates. I’d definitely give this a read, although you have been warned that it’s not like the TV show, it’s so much better.

Click below to watch the Tedx Talk.

International Women’s Day 2016

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Happy International Women’s Day you lovely lot! I found this awesome illustration online today and had to share it with you all! On a side note if anyone can let me know who the artist is I’d really appreciate it.  I was supposed to be watching the incredible Caitlin Moran tonight but for a bunch of reasons I’m sat at home instead thinking about what this day means to me.

In the past year I’m lucky enough to have had a huge and brilliant feminist epiphany after spending my whole summer propped up with books for company. I read everything I could get my hands on Caitlin Moran, Lena Dunham, Polly Vernon, Mindy Kaling, Natasha Walter and I still have a pile that I’m slowly adding more and more books. I scoured the internet for Ted Talks and I’ve watched every one I can find.

I’m not claiming I have it right, that I’m a perfect feminist. I know I’m not. I’ve said stupid things before because I wasn’t educated but now I am and I want to join everyone who wants to fight for gender equality all over the world.

We might not have it the easiest and I know I have it easier than a lot of women around the world and we still have a lot to change. That said I feel lucky to be a woman, I feel lucky to be in the company of some incredible fellow females. I feel grateful for the women who made me who I am today, whether that be by bringing me up, teaching me or the words of women who I’ve never met.

Happy International Women’s Day to all you Wonder Women out there!

Back to the Routine

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When you’re in a depressed cycle, getting back into routine after a string of bad days can feel like a mammoth task. This morning I wanted to go back to bed as soon as I woke up, I didn’t want to face going to uni, being around people and facing up to my responsibilities now I’m back from being sick. Urgh. My mentor said she was really proud of me for trying to get back into the swing of things, even though I felt so overwhelmed this morning and just wanted to pull the duvet over my head and cry. From being sick and my body being so exhausted I’d fallen into my depression again and it wanted to pull me down and strangle me.

For someone who doesn’t know much about living with depression and anxiety it might seem like I’m being melodramatic or a giant cliché and I hate that. I hate that there is this sense that I have to defend myself when I’m feeling back enough, so I’ve stopped. I’ve decided to be honest with people and then just see how things go because, frankly, I’m exhausted. I can’t use my energy trying to make myself feel better because other people don’t or don’t want to understand. I’m lucky that I have got a lot of people around me who do support me when I’m struggling, but that doesn’t stop me feeling alone sometimes.

It’s going to be harder to keep routine now that most of my classes have ended and it might not be as strict, but being down has reminded me how important it is. I know that I have some big challenges for me in terms of my illness coming up, I’m going to have to deal with a lot of uncertainty and a lot of change. Am I scared? Absolutely. It’s like my own personal nightmare, leaving somewhere I’ve laid down roots, become the person I wanted to be and feel safe. No one here knows the old me and the way I used to be, the thought of returning to a town where a lot of people know the old me is terrifying, because I don’t want to go back to being that sad and terrified young girl I was. So I’m trying to learn now, get a toolbox of things that make me feel better and the knowledge I need to be able to fight my fears head on and getting back into routine is just the start.

 

 

Stressed, Depressed, but well dressed?

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When I was in Brighton a few weeks ago I saw a jumper with the slogan ‘Stressed, Depressed but well dressed’ across the front. I’ve seen these shirts before and they’ve become popular, before this it was the slogan ‘more issues than Vogue’. I’ve always felt conflicted with these shirts. For me, someone who does have issues and does get severely stressed and depressed because of my illness, it can be funny to wear these shirts, it’s me laughing at myself. With that in mind though, there is a bigger issue.

There’s been a lot of talk about making mental illness fashionable and there’s definitely been a surge of people claiming they’re ‘super anxious’ or ‘feel really depressed’ or that someone is ‘so OCD’ because they like things clean. These are things I can’t stand because these illnesses are so complex and damn hard to live with. A few years back there was controversy when two t-shirt were released by Urban Outfitters.

Now, I’m all for raising awareness and the ‘stressed but well dressed’ shirt isn’t outright offensive like the Urban Outfitters ones, but it is problematic. For people who have little information and are the type to throw around these words around and claim illnesses that can, if we’re being frank, kill people. People do die of these illnesses.

So do I think I’m going to buy one of these shirts? Probably not. While I can laugh at myself and say yes this is so me on some of my bad days, it’s not usually the reality. I can tell you that when you’re super stressed you don’t want to get dressed, particularly well dressed. Right now I am really sick with stress, so much so it landed me in hospital. Everything is an effort, getting out of bed, putting on clothes and as for makeup? You can forget it, unless I really have to I can’t be bothered. I think designers have to be mindful of what it’s really like for real people. You wouldn’t make a shirt about cancer because people know just how horrible it can be and how ill people get, and mental illness should be treated the same.

My body just says nope

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The last week has been…different to how I’d expect it. I’ve had my first IV, more time at home than I planned, some very down days and now I’m back in my flat with Ali and my two Hams. Being ill on and off for the last few months has not been ideal. I’ve missed out on a lot and part of me thinks that it’s shown me a lot about myself and my life.

There were times this week where I’ve dropped into a very bad low, when this happens my body just tries to protect itself and I shut down. It’s very true that sometimes depression can leave you at your knees, weak, tired and your brain not quite belonging to you any more. So I just sat and cried and thought  a lot. I had to have a helpful shove from my Mum and then Ali to make sure I got out of bed and showered, as cliché as it sounds.

The thing with mental illness is that it doesn’t go away while your body is fighting something else, oh no. When I’m ill, I usually get mentally worse. I can’t do the things I have set up for when I’m normally upset, I’m stuck in bed feeling hopeless and then my brain starts to believe it. On top of that when I have sickness, like I have recently, I can’t take my medication either. To say it’s not a good combination is an understatement. Thankfully I have a family and partner who can help me up.

So, while I’m waiting for my ultrasound and the final answer I might not be my normal happy self. I feel tired, tired of all the stresses in my life, of my body and my mind feeling sick. While I might seem like a grump or miserable I wanted to let you wonderful people who can cheer me up instantly that it’s not who I feel I am. When I send a grumpy tweet or disappear for a few days it’s my depression taking hold, as hard as I try it is a part of me, a small part, but a part of me none the less.

Like the picture says, sometimes my body just goes ‘nope’, but I’ll keep going and keep fighting, just like I always do.  

Book Review: How to Build a Girl – Caitlin Moran

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“In the end, I go where I always go when I need information on something baffling, poisonous, or terrifying: the library.”

Influenced by Moran’s own life, How to Build a Girl follows teenager Johanna as she decides to ‘kill herself’, meaning killing the boring Johanna and instead becoming Dolly Wilde. Dolly Wilde is meant to be interesting, covered in eyeliner, smart and generally more desirable than what Johanna has been. Although as all of us who have tried to change ourselves as teenagers  will know, it doesn’t always work out how you planned ( I myself went through a phase of hating my name and trying to get everyone to call me Frankie…a shortened version of my middle name).

While this is not Moran’s autobiography, anyone who has read How to Be a Woman will see that Caitlin’s younger life does have a number of parallels (which she addresses before the start of the novel). This isn’t lazy writing, while the similarities are obvious such as Johanna living in a small flat with a lot of siblings and her ambition to be a writer, the character is definitely her own person and absolutely hilarious. To draw one last parallel, the novel talks a lot about masterbation, so much so it opens with Johanna masterbating…in somewhat questionable circumstances.

For anyone who’s ever felt like the odd one out or anyone who’s wished they could just become someone else, you’ll like the character. She’s young and headstrong but also incredibly funny. Most of all though, she’s a teenager who’s trying to get through her life and work out what she’s going to do with it. The only person really at her side the whole time is the dog, as she doesn’t have many friends. In fact she sends a lot of time being yelled at by the local yobs. After thinking she’s gotten her family into big trouble, Johanna needs to get money fast and so she has to come up with a plan using one of the few talents she has.

To go further than that would ruin the fun of How to Build a Girl. I will say though that Moran’s wit comes through just as strong in this novel. It’s also fun and nostalgic to see the world through the eyes of a young teenager again and that sense of being able to  just decide to do something and work out how it’s all going to work out later. One of the best things about Johanna though is that because she is flawed is what creates a loveable character. She gets into all kinds of mischief throughout, but at the end of the day there is a big heart too and a real love for the family who sometimes drives her mad.

I gave How to Build a Girl five stars *****. If you’ve read any other books or articles by Moran it’s very much in the same chatty style and doesn’t hold back from what she thinks. The best part is that How to Build a Girl is also supposed to be the first in a trilogy! Johanna is set to come back for more and if, like me, you can’t wait for more Moran after this her new book Moranfesto comes out next week (I’m not sponsored, just super excited). It really is an entertaining read and worth picking up the next time you’re in a bookshop!

Marvel Collector Corps: Deadpool – Unboxing and Review

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Today I got some post that was certain to cheer me up, after ordering the day it was due to close I’m so glad I did. After the success of my Deadpool post last month and my Lootcrate unboxing post I decided to share the new subscription in my life! Of course if you haven’t gotten your box yet and don’t want any spoilers then don’t read this post!!

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I have a serious Funko Pop! collection (but that’s another post entirely!) so finding this exclusive Deadpool Pop! in a really awesome pose was great. There are about £15 at least in value, so it’s great value for money too. Now I need to find the Deadpool bathtime pop, hmm.
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Of course with every Collector Corps box there is a pin and sew on badge, again they’re good quality, I’m not sure what I’ll do with them but they’re cute. I also got this little stuffed Deadpool, he’s adorable and I love him!

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Now, I’ll admit that I’m not keen on Dorbz but, again, this shows the quality of the box itself as they’re not cheap. In his little cowboy hat I can see why a lot of my friends are in love with him, this just isn’t my thing!

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Two classics in a good sub box, a t-shirt and comic book. There were 4 different shirts available for this box and I’m glad I got this one, simply because I like the colours and will wear it more. As for the comic book, I haven’t read it yet but I’m looking forward to curling up with it.

Overall I’m really impressed this box, it’s fun and well worth the money I paid for it. I also like the fact that because the boxes come bi-monthly, not only does it spread out the cost, but it also means that there isn’t any rubbish in the box (from what I’ve heard anyway). So I’ll be keeping this subscription, especially as next is the Captain America box, I can’t wait! IMG_6490

Of course, I’d love to hear what fellow collectors or just Deadpool fans thought of this box, leave me a comment below!