As I write this most of my possessions are in boxes or bags, I’m practically bouncing off the walls because today my partner and I get the keys to our new home. I know that I haven’t written in a month, if I’m honest I’ve been working so much, sorting the house, getting myself back on track in terms of my health – it’s been a lot.
If I’m honest I’ve hardly been reading anything either! Last year I was averaging 10 books a month, this year four-six. I keep trying to remind myself that it’s not a competition. I even changed my Goodreads goal to 50 books this year because I didn’t need the guilt of logging in and seeing that I was ‘behind’ on my goal. I stopped looking at my blog stats too. I didn’t want to be worried about things that really didn’t matter looking at the bigger picture.
So, what’s really changed?
I feel more confident in my work
Being a freelancer isn’t easy, being a freelancer in a pandemic was a bit terrifying. Most people, understandably, cut back their budgets, meaning that copy, content and social media were quickly cut – not good when that’s your whole business. I kept myself going but I was anxious and worried all the time.
When work started to come back again and businesses were ready I was in there, I didn’t take a day off applying, searching and talking to people for months. After a few good contracts and interesting pieces at the start of this year I finally feel confident in what I do and what I can offer.
Now if a client moves a project or I get rejection after rejection, I’m better at not taking it personally I just keep going. Sometimes I am a little upset if it’s something I really tried for but something else comes along eventually and fills the spot.
I’m working on letting stuff go that doesn’t matter
Kind of going back to the Goodreads and stats situation, I’m trying to step back from that kind of stuff. It’s the same with the number of followers or likes I have. I’m trying to let go of caring because do they really matter in the long run? I’m not saying I’m great at this, I’m still working on it but it’s a start.
I’m not letting other people take up my time
There are relationships that didn’t survive the pandemic and I’m not mad about it. Some of them were probably long overdue because we’d grown as people. A friendship ending always hurts but looking back it was the right decision. Similarly I’m not giving my time to people who I don’t want to talk to because I realised I don’t have to. It was pretty freeing.
I’m getting my health back on track slowly
The news my health was a bit rubbish back in February was a bit of a shock to the system, so was my new diagnosis of Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome in March. That said I’ve been trying to take back control, losing weight and attempting to eat better (this one’s the hardest). So far through food and a little exercise I’ve managed to lose 5Ibs. I’m nearly half way towards my first goal!
We’re getting a house!
I’m so exited to have our own space again and I get the spare room to be my office!
Wedding planning is back on!
Yep! We’re back to planning and getting bits and pieces and I am EXCITED.
Things are getting back on track. I write this because I know how hard it can be to pull yourself back when things have tried to break you. I don’t know how I managed because there have been so many times where I wanted to just give up and didn’t feel worth it.
No matter what’s going on put one foot in front of the other, reach out to talk to people and just keep going even when it feels like you can’t.