Tonight was the KUTalent awards 2014! I’m going to start the post by letting you all know that I didn’t win. I did however get to spend some time with my Mum, have a lovely dinner and meet some interesting people. I’ve spent the day working on other things, trying to keep my mind off of the awards tonight partially to fight of nerves and partially not to get my hopes up.
The hotel was amazing and as usual the KU team really managed to pull it off with guest speaker Kris Akabusi (a very famous Olympic runner for those of you who don’t know, I didn’t at first so don’t worry!) who made me laugh so, so much. Before all this though we walked down the red carpet and were given green champers much to Mums delight, I still feel sick when I smell it after the last event I went to, I’ll never be drinking that much again! We moved around the room and chatted to various people and had a few more drinks t calm my nerves. Before we got downstairs I’d been a mess I was so anxious I didn’t think I could leave the hotel room I was crying and stressing and worrying if I would fit in at all.
Luckily all my worries seemed to be for nothing, the evening went by and I spoke to everyone and got into detailed conversations with the other members of my table who all appeared to be very impressed. Had I been a third year I would have left with a job offer apparently, always a bonus! The problem came when the nominees for my category were announced. I had been telling myself not to get excited, but when Kris said ‘she’ I knew there were only me and another girl in my category, he then said ‘she has been involved since the first day’ again something I had put on my application, then he said ‘lacrosse’. I don’t lie to you guys so I’ll admit I was absolutely heart broken, I thought I was bothered but I really, really was. I kept trying to smile but after all my anxiety before it felt like a black hole in my chest.
Everyone I had spoken to came up to me after and told me how well I’d done to get there, how next year I’ve got to do it again. I was too upset but smiled nevertheless. As the evening went on it got easier despite being really tired, I hope I can go again next year but right now I’m trying to focus on spending time with my Mum. I’m glad she got to dress up and come out tonight, I also wish I could have been super happy and excited all night but she doesn’t seem to mind. So I’ve had my calming shower (a technique that has never failed for me yet, if only I could always get in a shower when I felt down!) and now it’s time for bed. First day of work tomorrow and hopefully I can be as positive as everyone else..I did get shortlisted after all.