Feminist Fridays: Back to the Archives My First Public Feminism Post

For this weeks Feminist Friday, I wanted to take you back to the first post where I unapologetically called myself a feminist. I’d had some years that I’m not proud of where I both feared and loathed the label, I wanted equality, why did I need to be called a feminist? Weren’t most of them all angry and man hating (a common misconception). I’m not the first young woman to have felt that feminism wasn’t for them, and I wouldn’t have been the last BUT in the summer before my final year I read a lot (what else is new) and I found what I’d been looking for. I found other women who initially thought the label was too much but then realised there was so much BS in the world if you’re a female. So I wrote this blog and I hope that I’ll show that feminism and feminists aren’t as scary as people make them out to be. We just want equality and we don’t hate men (well no true feminist does).  Enjoy my archive post titled ‘I am a Feminist’, because now I’m so damn proud of that label. 

A lot of people may see the title of this post and think, so what? I’ve thought about writing this for a while and put it off for no reason other than I didn’t want to get this wrong. I am publicly declaring I am a feminist and anything I thought or wrote before is now over written. I’ve always been a feminist but I hadn’t always liked or used the word. I’ve been a feminist since I was a little girl where I’d shout GIRL POWER at everyone while wearing girl power temporary tattoos and would play armies at school and take charge. I’ve been a feminist since I got bored of barbie and used to sketch out my own dolls who could do anything and be anything. I’ve been a feminist since I was a passionate and angry teenager  determined that women could be and do anything and later as an excited 17 year old who saw a poster for the feminist society at university. Then something changed. I came to uni and got in an argument with a male feminist about how oppressed and angry I should feel. As a rule I hate being told what I should and shouldn’t do or feel, more people tried to fit me into a mold so I decided I didn’t want to be a feminist if that’s what people expected of me.

For a long time I, like a lot of young women, refused to call myself a feminist. I didn’t like the way the word had ugly connotations of man hating, being angry and not wanting to shave or wear a bra. I hate body hair on any human and I love a good bra (let’s face it, exercising without one is just damn painful). I’d say I was a humanist and other things like that, I got in arguments at uni and a lot of ‘feminists’ made me feel like I had to conform to their way of living and thinking. Fast forward to when I broke my spine and had a lot of spare time on my hands and something changed. I picked up a copy of How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran for my Writing Women class and it spoke to me. I suddenly felt like I belonged and I could be a feminist and still be myself.

I read and continue to read every book on feminism and strong women that I could get my hands on. I got more interested in politics and women in an international context. I was happy talking about feminism and debating with others. I wanted to be part of a great group of men and women who wanted positivity and empowerment. I’ve said too many that I feel feminism is something you need to discover for yourself and not just tell people WELL YOU ARE, that just pisses people off. I found, fell in love and embraced feminism. I love women like Roxanne Gay too who question what it means to be a feminist in her book ‘Bad Feminist’, because I don’t think there is one true way of being a feminist.

I’m all for women going out and getting a career but I’m also totally supportive of stay at home Mums. My first female role models who I spent time looking up to were my Mum, my Aunt and my Nanna all three are incredible, powerful, kick ass women and all three were stay at home Mums. I also admire working women too, I’ve learnt a lot from my boyfriend’s Mum, who’s always worked. They’re all different and all deserve to be respected for different things.

I also feel that a woman can do what they like with their bodies. I’m not against glamour modelling or the porn industry. Don’t get me wrong there are issues and that’s a whole blog post right there, but if women WANT to do that to their bodies then who is anyone else to dictate to them? Because to me feminism is all about having a choice.

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image from Pinterest via Popsugar

 

I could go on and say all the things we need to fight and put right in the world gender stereotypes, rape, female education around the world, the children debate, etc. I could write about all the men on Twitter, when I posted about equality, who told me I was wrong that the pay gap was a myth and feminism wasn’t needed anymore. I could apologise for being young and naive when I said I wasn’t a feminist. Really though, I just want to say that I’m a big fan of feminism and other women. I don’t want to get angry and compete with them or knock them for every little thing. I certainly don’t want to stand up and go well women are better and men suck, I love men!

I’m writing this because I felt like it was the right time for me to say. I’ve been thinking about feminism instead of sleeping and looking up more books to add to my collection. I know there are some fantastic women out there who I’ve yet to meet and I also know there are people who will judge me first on being a woman before anything else, but you know what I’m excited. I’m excited that I’m a part of this community and that we live in a time where there are so many people working for equality and hopefully less hatred.

So there you go, I’m a feminist, how about you?

10 Free Apps I Use Every Day

Now, don’t try and tell me you’re not addicted to your phone. I think almost all of us (especially bloggers) are tapped into our phones for more time than we’d like to admit, I know I am. I ALWAYS get family and friends teasing me that I use my phone for oxygen. So what are 10 free apps I use every day ? I thought I’d share them with you!

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Facebook 

99% of people I know are on Facebook, constantly talking, sharing, commenting. I like having Facebook on my phone partly because I’m nosy and because it’s a way of keeping in contact without giving out your number.

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Instagram 

All hail Instagram. Now, I’m not a wizz with a stunningly beautiful page but I love seeing the world through other people’s lenses. There are some seriously talented people on Instagram and their photos are breathtaking so that’s always a way to spend 10 minutes of your lunch break.

Follow @chloemetz_ for my pictures

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Whatsapp 

I don’t really use this for talking but I usually get sent a lot of pictures and videos of the cat and dog from my Mum. Yes, daily photos and videos.

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Twitter 

It’s no secret that I’m obsessed with Twitter, mainly because I get to connect with thousands of people that I otherwise wouldn’t. I’ve gotten to speak with some of my favourite authors thanks to Twitter.

Follow me on @chloemetzger on Twitter!

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Canva 

I’ll let you into a little secret, this is the favourite tool for thousands of bloggers. Canva lets you edit pictures using shapes, text, transparency.Sometimes I’ll do it through their website (www.canva.com) just to see how it’s going to fit.  It makes it easy to make headers, images and inspirational posts.

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Comic Geeks 

This is just for fellow comic lovers. The app lets me know what’s coming out this week. I can search by lots of different filters and add in what I want to look out for and it will let me know as well as emailing me every wednesday.

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Fitbit 

I’ve been big on fitness in my spine recovery which meant I picked up a fitbit. It works with my fitbit to track exercise, sleep patterns and food and it’s SO much easier to use rather than the website dashboard.

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Layout 

This is an app for creating collages of photos which you can then post onto Instagram and Facebook, or just save to your phone. I mostly use this for pet collages or to show all the photos I’ve taken on a day out.

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Google Authenticator 

Now I’m working in Cyber Security I’m super aware of being secure online. This helps me set up two step authentication, meaning to log in I need a password and then a code too. I’m online so much this was vital to keeping my information safe online.

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BBC News 

I like knowing about any breaking news and what’s going on in the world, I always make sure my news app is active.

What are some of your favourite apps or some that I should try? Let me know in the comments below!

Work and Mental Health

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I’ve now been working for a month a month of huge change for me. Now, I have been anxious about leaving university and joining the ‘real world’ for months. Terrified of the impact it would have on my mental health as well as trying to adjust like a ‘normal person’. I’ve been very open and honest about my mental health online, because I want to share my story and to encourage others. In my interviews to work with Exonar I spoke about the blog, the mental health work and campaigning I’ve done because I’m proud of it. I’ve never hidden it but I don’t about it. I also know that my colleagues occasionally read my blog, they’ve told me which was both nerve wracking and exciting. Luckily I work with wonderful and understanding people, they’re read and don’t treat me any different.

Of course, I’ll always be honest, there have been days in the past month where I’ve worried that I was starting to slip. My anxiety has been kicking in again and the depression will grab me some days and make me really struggle, but I’ve been living with those kinds of days since I was 15 years old and I know that most of the time they pass sooner or later. It doesn’t mean that the lows are nicer to deal with or that the anxiety attacks don’t make me feel like I can’t breathe but I’m doing it, I’m dealing with it the best I can. I got to work, I get stuff done and try and concentrate until it passes. I think the hardest thing is when I’m tired, because I know tiredness is one of the things that makes my depression really hard to deal with, but I’m learning, working and trying to find my feet. The tiredness is something we’re all dealing with, it’s more irritating than not that it makes me more irritable and prone to low mood.

All in all, I’m trying. I know that I have to live with this and with the support of Ali, my family and knowing that I have people I can rely on at work fills me with hope. This illness may never go away but like hell am I going to let it control my life.

 

 

Image from Healthyplace.com

 

 

Pre Graduation Nerves

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Tomorrow, after 3 years of reading, tears, late nights, hungover mornings, trying to stay awake in lectures, essays, library days and trips to the pub, university will be over. I left with no idea what I’d do once I left, or if I’d even want to stay in the first place. So I’m sitting here (and a big follow up post about the end and looking back and all that jazz to come Friday or Saturday) and just thinking about tomorrow, this big ceremony that we’ve all been told about for years. I’ve had my hair done, my eyebrows, I have a new dress and even heels for the actual ceremony (not all day though, you have to be kidding me), Ali’s going to be there, my parents, my sister. Mostly I’m feeling nervous right now, worried about how the pictures will look, the walk across the stage. I’m not as panicked as I thought I’d be, actually I’m pretty proud of the fact that next week I’ll have spent a month in a job that I love, I have a car I saved up for and I feel like I have some idea of how I want my life to go. Fingers crossed I don’t fall over in the 5 minutes I have to be in heels.

Image from Pinterest

Settling in and Adulting Hard

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It’s been 35 days since I accepted my first full time job. In the past 35 days I’ve bought a new car, left my two part time jobs, started a job, moved out of mine and Ali’s first home, voted in the European Referendum, booked my graduation, got my results, released two new singles and played the main stage of the biggest free festivals in the South East. I get up, shower, drive to work, design, market and all that jazz, get lunch with some colleagues, maybe cuddle a dog or two, then I drive home and for the past few weeks I’ve always had something to do or somewhere to go. To say I’ve been busy is an understatement and so I hope that you will understand the reason the blog has been so all over the place!

More than anything post uni life has made me tired but happier. The end of uni was hard, third year wasn’t my best and I was terrified of what the future was going to hold. That’s not to say that everything has been easy starting my new job. I almost had an anxiety attack on my first day, I’ve been trying to understand the ins and outs of the company as well as working out how the hell I fit in. I’m lucky though, I have a great team of people who are genuinely nice and supportive. I haven’t found anyone who I don’t get along with (which is good because there are less than 20 of us).

Slowly and surely I’m finding my feet in the big adult world. There have been some wobbles and times when I’ve sat there and thought ‘I don’t know if I can do this’. I’ve had days where I’m so tired I’ve just cried for no reason and yesterday I got very lost in London (that was something I got very stressed about). The thing is though, knowing I have a team that I can ask questions to and rely on is a brilliant feeling. I’m still the new girl, I will be for a while but that’s ok. In the meantime I can work on this whole ‘being an adult’ thing…that might take a little more work.

Image from Pinterest

Getting Our Move On 

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I’m writing this to you from our new home, which is very weird. We’ve moved in with Ali’s  Mum for a while, we’ll be looking and sorting out our next place to call our own but for now we’re staying in the house along with Ali’s mum, sister and cat Suki. Of course the Hamsters are also here, although carefully shut in the bedroom so that Suki doesn’t take more than a little bit of a liking to them.

While we were driving back together (the first time Ali’s been on the motorway in my new car) we talked about how it felt to be back, how everything was going to fit in. I have to say I’ve been pleasantly surprised, I’m feeling ok. I honestly thought I’d be really down and stressed, but it’s been ok. For the first time in three years we have a garden and at night it’s actually quiet, my family are just around the corner. We don’t have to deal with drunk students and people smoking outside our window. There are things were going to miss, obviously, we loved Kingston. I’ll miss the riverside, the fact I can just pop in and see my best friend every weekend while picking up my comic books.

There’s a new chapter in our lives and everything is happening. I won’t lie I’m absolutely exhausted and feeling a little rough at the moment but at the same time there’s no one I’d rather go through this with. He’s pretty fab and let’s see what the future is going to hold.

Fighting Fit: When Your Body Won’t Cooperate

Fighting Fit- When your body doesn't cooperate

It might have been well over a year since I broke my spine but sometimes it throws a bit of a fit. I’ve been really busy for the past few weeks and travelling to things, boxing up the flat and all that jazz, meaning that I’ve put quite a bit of strain on my back. This evening I’m sat with a big fluffy pillow resting, writing, reading and just feeling a bit frustrated. I’ve come a really long way in the past year but sometimes I try and do too much and pay for it later. I don’t think there’s anything more frustrating than when your own body lets you down.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the accident and my injury lately, more than I normally would. With the warm weather coming and my friends heading to fun days out, theme parks and long walks I can’t help but feel a little jealous. It does still get to me but more than anything I get really self concious about it in public. There are still times when I get a limp on my left side because after doing too much I’m in a lot of pain or my leg will start to go numb. When I go to Comic Con or any big event like that, I sometimes need my crutch just to relieve some of the pain. As someone who wants to be seen as strong, who is used to getting up and getting on (just like getting up straight after I fell) it’s hard to let people see me on the days when I am a little more vulnerable. This is particularly the case when I’m getting to know new people, such as at my new job.

That said, I know that these frustrations are just a part of recovery and of having to take things one step at a time. I found a lot of comfort in a TED Talk I watched yesterday (click here for 7 TED talks you need to watch!), it reminded me that while my body is still working hard and healing, it’s not the only thing I have going for me. My body being in pain and breaking took things from me, but it gave me opportunities too. It taught me a lot about myself and what I want, it taught me to appreciate every step I take because I could so easily have lost the ability to walk.

In all of this, the good days, the bad nights, the medication changes, the occasional limping and the jokes that I make to make others more comfortable I realised that I need to keep my mind fighting. I can’t let myself go into a place of wallow and self pity. I can’t let myself give in when I’m sick of physiotherapy or don’t feel like going to the gym or when the doctors try and palm me off with silly answers. Keeping my mind strong is what will, in the end, keep my body fighting, even on the worst days.

Reading Habits Tag

I found this on the lovely Rachel’s blog and decided to give it a go too. Definitely go and give Rachel a read for some absolutely fantastic posts! I don’t usually get tagged for things I just pick them up and throw them on my blog for you guys so if you’re not tagged but want to give this a go then go ahead! 

1. Do you have a certain place at home for reading?

I like to curl up in my bed with a lot of pillows, if I’m feeling a little more social then I’ll curl up with pillows and blankets on the sofa. Pillows are essential to thought out reading time.

2. Bookmark or random piece of paper?

I’m trying to build up my bookmark collection but there isn’t one I’ll use anything I have around.

3. Can you just stop reading or do you have to stop after a chapter/ a certain amount of pages?

If I absolutely have to I’ll stop but I prefer to stop at a chapter or at an exact point in a book, like half way.

4. Do you eat or drink while reading?

Not really, I like just getting absorbed.

5. Multitasking: Music or TV while reading?

Not usually, I get too distracted.

6. One book at a time or several at once?

I’m usually reading at least 2 on the go.

7. Reading at home or everywhere?

Everywhere and anywhere.

8. Reading out loud or silently in your head?

Silently, I’ve never been someone who liked reading out loud.

9. Do you read ahead or even skip pages?

Only if I’m really bored of a book. When I was younger I used to get impatient and skip to the end.

10. Breaking the spine or keeping it like new?

Keeping it like new, my family don’t like to borrow books from me because I’m so careful with my books.

11. Do you write in your books?

No! The only time I would write or underline was for uni but even then I’d buy a second copy to do it in 🙂

12. Who do you tag?

Sunday Seven: Seven Reasons You Should Go to A Con!

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After yesterday’s post, how could I not give you 7 reasons to attend a convention!

A chance to geek out about the things you love 

I love Harry Potter, Star Wars and Marvel and I was surrounded by people who felt the same. If there’s a film, book or comic book of it I can guarantee someone else will share your love of a character.

It’s a chance to dress up and not be judged

You can dress up and you have a reason and no one will judge you when you do! Want to dress up as a character you loved as a kid? Go ahead. Want to be the 12th Kylo Ren at Con? Why not? Want to be a super cool variant of a character? Go you! There is no limit on what you can dress up as at Comic Con.

Artist’s Alley 

So many artists, so much talent. Just look at this beautiful collection of prints, bits and pieces I picked up!

You can meet great celebs

Although you have to pay, there’s a chance to meet some really awesome people you’ve long admired. London Comic Con had Warwick Davis (Star Wars and Harry Potter), Big Bang Theory cast members and more. Previously my friends have met a lot of stars from Doctor Who too!

You can have a GREAT shopping trip

I save up months before a con so that I can spend without worrying because there is SO MUCH I want to buy. My Funko Pop collection always expands, I pick up the art I already mentioned and clothes. There is SO MUCH you can buy though, food, toys, wigs, other costumes, collectables. I’d have to take out a mortgage if I ever went to the San Diego Comic Con.

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There are some truly lovely people in the community 

Obviously you won’t love all of the thousands of people at Con BUT I’ve met some lovely people. We go with Ben and Abbie each time but I also meet others. Yesterday I met two ladies who really stood out to me. The first was a girl in a wheelchair, we were both waiting to get in the disabled access toilet and had been locked out (I was using my crutch and SUPER nervous about it). We chatted about going to con with an injury/disability, annoying toilets like that one and just life in general, she was just so lovely. The second was  someone in a beautiful black dress, we saw each other again later and she just had such a lovely smile and seemed so excited that I liked her dress! Most people at Con are absolutely lovely!

There are Con’s all over the world! My next one will be London MCM in October and I honestly can’t wait.