Me time

Jan 5, 2015Leave a comment

It’s no secret that most of the people around me know that I don’t relax. To me, being asleep is relaxing. If I’m feeling normal or on an excitable high I have to be doing something all the time. I work or write or sing or clean or read, I have to find something or I get bored quickly. I have, lately, gotten better at just doing things for me lately. I don’t know if it’s feeling settled and in control of my uni stuff or just after having a break at christmas but I can to an extent just sit back.

Don’t get me wrong I love my studies, some subjects are so interesting I could read and research all day being definitely keeno as Eleanor puts it. Over the last week or two though I’ve sat down and watched a film or read something just for me, thought about blogging more or tried to get some more lyrics finished. I’m still doing something but I’m doing it for me, rather than someone else. I’m not getting as caught up on work either, actually making sure I don’t spend the whole week working non stop, instead I go horse riding Wednesdays and I might work another day or two depending on what jobs are around and if I need the money.

It seems silly but I’m a little bit proud of myself for this, I’m a workaholic and I know I am. If I like what I’m doing I won’t stop, I’ll keep going and going and going until I crash. That’s the only downside to loving my job, degree and of course my music, I will sit for hours and not sleep as much as I should. So slowly I’m learning that me time is important too, even if it’s just one afternoon or evening and the assignments that are months away are not worth me stressing about.

Dear Gary Barlow

Jan 4, 2015Leave a comment

Dear Gary Barlow,

Well this is a letter I didn’t expect to write, hello! Being the Twitter addict I am, I came across the garyforACB2015 hashtag and what better way to persuade you to do it than a blog post.

I don’t know if you know about Nicola, Ian and The Lullaby Trust. I first came across them on This Morning a few years ago talking about the death of their baby boy Alexander. With no warning signs, nothing they could do, a perfectly healthy baby boy was taken from not only his brothers but also his siblings, including his twin brother. There is still no known reason for this. That is incredibly sad but Nicola and Ian did something incredible, they started The Lullaby Trust and Alexander’s Ball a yearly event that raises money for vital research.

So today on Twitter you said you wanted to play three weddings, that’s great (it might even persuade my Mum to get married haha!) but I think this is something spectacular and obviously so do the Twitter community with the amount of retweets. It’s not just a great charity but another reason you should consider (if you need another) is that this year would have been Alexander’s 10th birthday! Although it will be tinged with sadness, especially for his family, we should celebrate for not only this little boys life but also for all those around the world who got their wings early.

So come on Gary, what do you say?

Chloe Metzger and the rest of twitter are waiting for an answer!

Writer life.

Jan 3, 2015Leave a comment

I’d love to tell you all that all I do in life is write. That would be lying. I wish I could get up in the morning, open my laptop with a cup of tea and write page upon, page of an amazing novel which will sell millions of copies. That said I do write every day on this blog, songs, lists, notes. The most important part of that is the song writing.

When I can’t deal with life and I’m spiralling or even if I feel really happy I pick up a pen, or my laptop and I just put the pain (or lack of it) onto paper. I have a box of old lyrics books, scribbled notes here and there and if you go through either my room here or at home you’ll find diaries, old stories and piles of lyrics. I don’t know why but writing to me is one of the most incredible and liberating thing. If I want, no one will ever see some of the things I have written or everyone could.

Do I want to write something that would be a best seller? Of course I do. I don’t know if it will ever happen, but I might try. I might end up sitting in the uni library in the silence for hours and come out with nothing worth reading to anyone else. It’s just for me.

The songs are a different matter. I put the words on to paper and everyone who comes to our shows will hear what I feel. Some songs, like Breaking Point, are something I came up with because of the people around me and then later people I imagined, other songs are entirely different. If you look at Good Enough, which I was immensely proud of, it was really personal and the newest songs that we’re working on are even more so. It’s taken a year for me to not feel sick when I sing the boys my ideas for the first time, because it’s so personal to me. I know how ‘artistic’ of me, but this is me pouring my heart on to a page.

I don’t know what it is but I wrote a post ages ago, life through my fingers, about how it was the only way to make myself feel better. I said playing Piano wasn’t like writing and it’s not but I was wrong in some aspects. When I write some things, like this, I just write whatever and that how almost every creative thing of mine starts, I don’t think too hard at first. That’s a trait that used to get me in so much trouble during Art lessons at school, nearly 5 years since my GCSEs and I’m still like it…and why I didn’t take Art any further.

Writing, in all it’s beautiful ways is tiring, frustrating, liberating…sometimes everything.

New Year, same me.

Jan 1, 2015Leave a comment

Happy New Year to you all, welcome to 2015! If you’ve been following me since this blog started you will know I really don’t like resolutions, I don’t see the point. I do, however, believe in looking at your life and seeing where you need to go, but because I do this every few months, if I tried to plan the whole year I’d go mad. As you can tell from this post and a lot of other last year I like lists, I make them every day with what I have to do and all that Jazz.

Things I want to do this year

Play good gigs
Look after my mind and body
Pass 2nd year
Keep my wonderful friendships
Ride horses
Carry on with getting better

They’re simple things that I did last year and that I’ll continue this year, no big challenges, nothing extreme and in a few months I’ll see how I feel. The thing is I don’t need a drastic change, I’m ok just being me. Yes I might change a little but that will be as a result of getting better and being less anxious (I hope).

So this was just a little post to say you don’t need to chance this year, just be happy!

10 Signs you may be a book addict.

Jan 1, 20151 Comment

1. You have at least one (very large) pile of unread books in your home, this slowly keeps getting added to.

2. The bookcase is NEVER big enough.

3. When people say they ‘don’t read’ you want to throw all the books you love at them because you stubbornly believe they just haven’t found the right one yet.

4. You have been known to want to stay in with a good book rather than go outside and see actual people.

5. You will happily own the same book with various different covers because you love it so much, have you seen the anniversary editions and the clothbound editions and the new introduction?!?!?

6. Going into a bookshop is the most exciting, yet calming experience. CAN YOU SMELL THAT NEW BOOK SMELL

7. On that note walking into a bookshop is also incredibly expensive…goodbye money.

8. You leave films VERY angry if they haven’t even attempted to be like the book.

9. You worry that there simply isn’t enough space on Kindles.

10. You’ve decided that your perfect house would have it’s own library.

What else do you think? Leave in the comments section below!

Goodbye 2014, what a year!

Dec 31, 2014Leave a comment

I may have been a little rubbish at uploading lately but as it’s New Years Eve tonights post has to go up on time. For the last few years if I’ve been in tonight is almost always one in which I reflect on a lot of things, not always in a positive way. I remembered earlier thought that writing my last blog of the year cheered me up immensely last year, because sometimes you forget just how much you achieved in the space of a year and, well, I’m damn proud of myself this year.

January…

I went back to halls
Attempted going out again
Got my first ever First
Went to the Harry Potter studio tour
Got nominated for a KU Talent award
Bonded with the boys
Met You Me at Six!

February…

I didn’t see much sleep or have much relaxation time
Had 2 days of meeting and seeing We Are the In Crowd
Saw Taylor Swift
Got shortlisted for a KU Talent award.

March…

Got evacuated from my flat and ended up in hospital
Got the best job in the world as a Student Ambassador
Recorded
Went to the KU Talent awards
Failed my driving test (but that’s ok!)
Took my sister to Fall Out Boy
Spoke out about Mental Health!

April…

Found mine and Ali’s first home
Started teaching
Took control of my illness.

May…

Learnt some basic sign language
Went back into the studio
Decided I didn’t want to be a secondary school teacher
Passed my driving test!!
Slowly started going out.

June…

Learnt how to make amazing cupcakes
Last practice session for a while
Got dropped on my head (literally)
Worked a lot
Made some amazing friends
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Fell in love with TFIOS again
Left halls (yay!)
Adopted Rhys for a few months.

July…

Headed back to Basingstoke
Passed first year with a First!
Took my first trip to Windsor
Got reunited with the boys
Played Basingstoke Live!
Nearly broke my wrist after having an implication with the wall
Picked up the keys to my flat
Celebrated my sisters 13th birthday!

August…

Bagged a magazine internship for next year
Met up with the girls in London for dinner and The Shard
Found out a job wasn’t for me…but found a place in the Ambassador team I loved
Went to Reading Festival
Celebrated 6 years 🙂

September…

Worked a lot
Focused on getting myself healthy
Had a whole week of birthday celebrations to turn 20
Became a second year
Had more fun with some fab friends!

October…

Played more gigs
Took long walks
Saw Ed Sheeran live
Wrote a letter to a friend
Started Horse Riding
Had some fab nights out!

November…

Got myself a Macbook
Celebrated Ali’s 21st Birthday
Fell in love with some animals
Went to my first rugby match
Saw Tonight Alive (again).

December…

Booked a hell of a lot of gigs for No People Club
Took part in my first Gymkhana
Saw Russell Howard live twice!
Had an amazing meal with friends
Got a fair bit of good news
Went home for Christmas! 🙂

This isn’t even everything. When I take time to just look at how much I’ve done I’m immensely proud of how far I’ve come in a year. I have the most amazing group of friends, a band that’s going from strength to strength and a strong support network. I know that new year, like this one is going to have challenges, my illness doesn’t disappear for the holidays, but I have hope and experience on my side. 2015 is looking quite promising, No People Club with be all over the place, more recording, more fun. The girls and I have some great things planned. There are some big birthdays coming up, my 21st being one of them! I’ve gone from hiding in my falt for days, to having a great social life and friends who understand.

So here’s to 2015, thank you for a great year and I wish you all the absolute best.

Boxing Day

Dec 26, 2014Dec 31, 2014Leave a comment

I am aware that some of my readers don’t have Boxing Day as we do in the UK, basically for me it involved a lot of shopping, a lot of food and more relaxing…kind of like a second christmas. As you’re all aware it’s a bit antisocial to blog on Christmas day…well apparently. So I had to wait until today to talk to you lovely lot! Yesterday was fun, the best Christmas morning I’ve had in a long time. This year I really was spoilt by my family and Ali, A new stereo, purse, nice coat, DVDs, some clothes, my riding hat, a load of horsey things. I felt really loved and lucky as well as ecstatic that I could really enjoy Christmas morning. Although the rest of my family got a little bit more than merry and things became entertaining to say the least, I was grateful more than anything for my health.

Does someone think I like horses?

I almost couldn’t fit all of the presents in one picture! Spoilt!

My sister and I with our grandparents..complete with onesie

So while Mum had a little bit more sleep I got my sister up bright and early and headed into the sales, coming home with exactly what I wanted! I didn’t go mad this year because Ali’s clothes apparently have to fit in the wardrobe too…spoil sport! The rest of tonight will be spent cuddle up with Ali before he goes back to Kingston again tomorrow. Tomorrow for me means getting my new stereo fitted and a trip to the riding shop!

Today’s purchases

Being well at christmas :)

Dec 24, 2014Leave a comment

The presents are wrapped, onesies on and I’m settles, happy. Tonights post might not be very long but I just wanted to say I don’t care about presents, turkey or anything else, all I could wish for and want this christmas is to be well! I’ve been there before, on a bad low on christmas day and it was one of the worst points of my illness. I’ll admit sometimes I get nervous around christmas time I don’t want history to repeat itself, but I wanted you all to know that I’m happy, I’m well and I’m looking forward to spending time with my family, my lovely partner and his family too :).

Have a wonderful Christmas my lovely readers! I hope yours is filled with happiness, but please remember those who struggle in the holidays x

Learning the ways of a horse rider!

Dec 23, 2014Dec 24, 2014Leave a comment

Me and Josh

Once Laura told me that once I’d caught the ‘riding bug’ I wouldn’t be able to stop, it turns out she was right. So I didn’t miss a ride this week and because I haven’t seen her in two weeks, I travelled to Dorchester to see her and meet the famous Josh, the horse she loves and adores. After 2 hours on the train and quickly getting changed I was off to the stables to learn as much as I could in a day.

Firstly an uphill walk to get Josh and meet the other horses and walk him down, which was my job. He turned out to be a lovely and calm horse, although totally obsessed with Laura. We had a job ahead of us, Josh was covered in mud, and so three shampoo washes and a good grooming later Josh looked beautiful and finally had a white tail! We had to wait a while for the school but finally I was allowed to ride him. Josh was amazing! Walk, off the lunge, trot and finally I got to canter! My first canter! It is honestly the most fun thing in the world. It also needs to be said that Laura is an incredible teacher! Hopefully I can take some of these back and help out with the lovely Rubey!