I’d love to tell you all that all I do in life is write. That would be lying. I wish I could get up in the morning, open my laptop with a cup of tea and write page upon, page of an amazing novel which will sell millions of copies. That said I do write every day on this blog, songs, lists, notes. The most important part of that is the song writing.
When I can’t deal with life and I’m spiralling or even if I feel really happy I pick up a pen, or my laptop and I just put the pain (or lack of it) onto paper. I have a box of old lyrics books, scribbled notes here and there and if you go through either my room here or at home you’ll find diaries, old stories and piles of lyrics. I don’t know why but writing to me is one of the most incredible and liberating thing. If I want, no one will ever see some of the things I have written or everyone could.
Do I want to write something that would be a best seller? Of course I do. I don’t know if it will ever happen, but I might try. I might end up sitting in the uni library in the silence for hours and come out with nothing worth reading to anyone else. It’s just for me.
The songs are a different matter. I put the words on to paper and everyone who comes to our shows will hear what I feel. Some songs, like Breaking Point, are something I came up with because of the people around me and then later people I imagined, other songs are entirely different. If you look at Good Enough, which I was immensely proud of, it was really personal and the newest songs that we’re working on are even more so. It’s taken a year for me to not feel sick when I sing the boys my ideas for the first time, because it’s so personal to me. I know how ‘artistic’ of me, but this is me pouring my heart on to a page.
I don’t know what it is but I wrote a post ages ago, life through my fingers, about how it was the only way to make myself feel better. I said playing Piano wasn’t like writing and it’s not but I was wrong in some aspects. When I write some things, like this, I just write whatever and that how almost every creative thing of mine starts, I don’t think too hard at first. That’s a trait that used to get me in so much trouble during Art lessons at school, nearly 5 years since my GCSEs and I’m still like it…and why I didn’t take Art any further.
Writing, in all it’s beautiful ways is tiring, frustrating, liberating…sometimes everything.