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Why getting a bra fitting is SO important.

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A few weeks ago I was on a little shopping trip with my best friend Abbie and popped along to Ann Summers after seeing their sale signs. For a long time Ann Summers have been my go to Bra shop, but I have a confession to make. I haven’t had a bra fitting in years. Literal years! It’s always been something I mean to do, should have done but I was always a little nervous and never had the time… or so I told myself.

I popped into the store in Basingstoke and asked to be fitted. I was lead to the fitting rooms at the back of the shop and asked what size and style I normally would wear. I told her a 34C and picked one similar to the one I was wearing at the time. We went up a size, and again, and again….and a few more times after that. I wasn’t made to feel bad or stupid instead I felt empowered. I left with advice, my new size of 34E and two new bras.

That was a little over a week ago. I now have about five bras, all in the right size, and I’ve felt a huge difference. I feel more supported, comfortable and look better and the reason was a simple measurement. Admittedly it has been a little hard since to find decent bras and bikinis for my size, most only go up to a double D.

Having the right bra helps you out in so many ways and as someone with back pain, I can guarantee that having the right support has really helped me out. It’s made me feel more confident in the way I look and about my body.

I know for a fact Ann Summers stores and Marks and Spencers stores both give free fittings in store and I had absolutely no obligation to buy. Most Lingerie stores should have some kind of free measuring so make sure you ask.

Here are my top tips for getting a fitting:

  • Say what size you’ve been wearing – it doesn’t matter if it has been wrong, that’s what fittings are for
  • Have an idea of the kind of bras you like to wear
  • Remember you are not obligated to buy anything
  • That said, it doesn’t hurt to take some money with you in case you see something you like
  • Don’t be embarrassed, people are trained to do this
  • Take someone with you, make it fun!
  • Remember room in cups or overspill means you’ll probably need a new bra

April Favourites!

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We’re at the end of April already! It’s been a fairly quiet month for me in terms of buying/reading (click here to find out why) BUT I still have a few favourites for you!

Books: 

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Anne Boleyn The Final 24 Hours 

I absolutely love learning about the Tudors, I love factual books, fiction and fine Anne Boleyn one of the most interesting Queens. I bought this on my kindle and read it on my phone within 24 hours. A very different take on events looking not just at Anne, but also other key people at this time. Definitely a good read for any other Tudor lovers.

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Cheer Up Love – Susan Calman

I’ve really wanted to read this for a while, I hadn’t known Susan as a comedian so I didn’t really know about that aspect of her but this was a really interesting look at depression and her experience with it. I really appreciated her honesty and humour. Definitely a recommended read.

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Supergirl Rebirth 

I haven’t picked up much of the DC Rebirth and I was really pleasantly surprised. Supergirl is awesome! She’s a really cool lady and I enjoyed the story, looking forward to picking more of these up.

Music: 

Hard Times – Paramore 

THEY’RE BACK, THEY’RE BACK, THEY’RE BACK. Legitimately danced to Sainsbury’s to this song. I’m so excited to hear the new album and the evolution of Paramore.

Rebel, Rebel – David Bowie

When I was younger I wasn’t that into Bowie, but since my university opened the Visconti Studio (Tony Visconti worked on a lot of Bowie’s albums) and my boyfriend started working there I’ve been listening to a lot. I’ve had this on repeat.

With or Without You – Emma Blackery 

This has been stuck in my head since I first heard it.

Say You Won’t Let Go – James Arthur 

I’ve had a rough month and Ali has been absolutely brilliant, this song reminds me of him.

Shop: 
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Ann Summers is fantastic! I learnt this month that I’d been wearing bras that are 4 sizes too small, yep. I was measured and picked out new bras in their £10 event, that event was a lifesaver! Friendly staff, great selection for bigger boobs and of course the naughty delights are great too!

Watching:

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Game of Thrones

I. am. obsessed. I’m half way through season four and I have no doubt I’ll get to the end of season six in time for the new series.

Tribute to Carrie Fisher

I was heartbroken when Carrie died back in December, I was lucky enough to meet her and cried many tears after her death. The celebration of her life at Star Wars Celebration this year was wonderful and left me sobbing.

Emma Blackery

I’ve been a fan of Emma’s channel for a few years and this month she’s doing a challenge and doing really well. Killing it as always.

What have your favourite things been this month? Any recommendations? Let me know in the comments below!

Feminist Fridays: Why I’m excited about some dolls.

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As we all know, little girls are expected to like and play with dolls of all variety, I was no different. I had a box of Barbies, piles of Polly Pockets and stacks of generic Baby Dolls. There was something missing though, of course my Barbies started to have jobs (Vet Barbie was a personal favourite), but they rarely kicked butt. They didn’t say to me that girls could be as cool as boys in films, that we weren’t confined to pink and only pink. I didn’t get into Star Wars until I was 20 but damn I needed it. I needed to be reminded that women were powerful and could lead a war.

There are going to be new Star Wars Dolls for Star Wars: Forces of Destiny to accompany a new TV show. I read the news over on the brilliant Heroic Girls and when I saw these dolls I had a wave of excitement. These were posable dolls of some of the most fearless women in the galaxy. Of course, these are going to be collected by fans but for the little girls of today? Little girls who have seen Star Wars and what a girl can do, these dolls are something else. Of course, as time goes by we are starting to see more kick ass dolls on the market, ones that appeal to both boys and girls. Let’s not forget the boys in this, the ones who are told that ‘dolls are for girls’, WRONG.

When I was a kid I used to draw these dolls called ‘Jenny’, I used to draw her in every job that I knew, particularly jobs that I knew people said that boys did. The dolls weren’t there for me so I designed my own. That and I know for a fact one of the boxes for Army Barbie came with the slogan ‘hat and short skirt too!’ Yeah, because that’s going to help when the enemy is firing at you, a short skirt.

Corny or not, kids are the future. How can we expect them to be any better if we don’t teach them about equality as children. That girls and boys can be what they want and play with the toys I want.

Damn right I’m excited about these dolls, and I hope it’s just the beginning.

Book Review: The Dead Inside – Cyndy Etler

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‘I never was a badass. Or a slut, a junkie, a stoner, like they told me I was. I was just a kid looking for something good, something that felt like love. I was a wannabe in a Levi’s jean jacket. Anybody could see that. Except my mother. And the professionals at Straight’

Cyndy Etler has had a difficult life to say the least. After the death of her father as a child she is left with her mother, and later, her husband. As she lives through a torrent of abuse at his hands, her mother simply looks the other way as her daughter cries out. After she finally breaks Cyndy wants nothing more to do with them and runs away, but her new nightmare has only just begun as her mother deposits her to Straight Inc.

When reading this prepare for a story of abuse and misbelief. I was both shocked and appalled at the treatment that Cyndy received from the institution she was placed in. In Cyndy’s words they are extreme forms of physical and mental torture against young people that, to put it simply, were broken. When they entered I can’t help but think may of them had Cyndy’s fire and passion, her spirit. It is, horrific, that these children and that is what they were subjected to, the cruelty and brainwashing.

I will admit that, initially, Cyndy did have a kind of ‘wild child’ personality, however, I would urge you not to dismiss her from this. This is child who has been subjected to horrors before she enters the nightmare of Straight. This, I felt was unclear in the earliest chapters, which could make people distrust or not understand Cyndy. I can understand why it is not so bluntly put, this is a tough and long road for Cyndy, both then and now to describe what happened to her. What I saw the most was a girl who wasn’t loved, who tried to make her own way in the world and who was abused by the people who should have loved her.

I gave the memoir 3.5 stars, not because I didn’t devour it, not because it made my heart hurt but simply because I found myself confused at times about what was happening. The voice speaks true of what was happening and the confusion that Cyndy felt, however, at times it made for difficult reading. There were also some parts which I felt could have been given more time, that said, I know that she has another memoir coming out towards the end of the year, as per her website. I’m hoping that this will let me understand more of Cyndy’s life, recovery and past. Thank you to Cyndy, her publisher and Netgalley for this ARC.

 

 

 

Dealing with the unexpected

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Sometimes life likes to surprise us, and not in the best way.

This time last week I was confused, distraught and wondering what the hell I was going to do. Last week I was told that I was no longer employed, that my contract was not going to be extended. This came completely out of the blue, for all I knew I was ready for my renewal meeting and things were going well. I left in a complete state of shock, how I drove home I’m not quite sure.

Like anyone who’s been in this situation before you go through everything in your head. I questioned everything I’d said or done, had I missed some warning signs? It was so out of the blue. After a few phone calls to Ali, my family and a few close friends I knew what I needed to do, I needed to find a new job. I was on the phone within an hour to contacts and agencies. By Thursday morning I was sat in a recruitment agency.

It’s been a week of emotional ups and downs, particularly as we lost Hamski a few days later. That’s the thing about life though, it doesn’t always play nicely or play fair. Within a few days, I’d spoken to a lot of people got some leads and felt better about myself. I realised that these things do happen and that it wasn’t because I was awful or terrible, I was unlucky this time.

In a week things have gone from feeling incredibly hopeless to being positive again. I realised that it might not be the worse thing. Now I can look for work closer to home so I don’t spend almost an hour commuting each way, because the drive was exhausting. I can meet new people and further my career, I need to fight to stay positive and see the good in this change. Speaking of which, I’m proud to introduce Wickett (named after the Ewok):

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So, let’s see what the rest of the month has to offer…

My favourite places to eat out!

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Food is constantly on my mind, so I wanted to share with you some of my favourite places to eat!

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The Wheatsheaf Dummer 

Whenever there’s a family dinner with my Mum’s side of the family we head off to this pub. It’s slightly outside Basingstoke which means it’s good to get away, have limited phone service and enjoy some good quality food. Lately I’ve also taken Abbie there, we sat near the fire and ate until we were completely full. Also, their Chocolate Fudge Cake is out of this world.

Menu Choice: Hunters Chicken with Chocolate Fudge Cake for dessert. 

Hard Rock Cafe- London 

Where do I start? Amazing burgers, top music, great pin badges, awesome cocktails and pieces of history on the walls. I’ve been long obsessed with Hard Rock Cafe’s around the world, but London will always have a special place in my heart. When I can I love to go, even if it’s just for a cocktail, and sit amongst pieces from some of the people I admire most. It does get busy, but the wait is so, so worth it, once I sat under Madonna’s leather jacket. Enough said.

Menu Choice: Bacon and Cheese Burger, Cocktail (decided on the day) and Ice Cream Sundae after. 

Zizzi’s – Nationwide

Italian food? Check. Good desert menu? Check. Affordable? Check. Every Zizzi’s I have been in has been cheerful, clean, affordable and generally has a nice atmosphere. It doesn’t matter if the place is rammed or almost empty, the servers still have a smile and get your food to you quickly. Extra bonus is that I used to be able to use my student discount, win.

Menu Choice: Tough choice, it’s either the Carbonara or a Margarita (they are HUGE) and for dessert Chocolate Cake that melts in the middle or Mint Icecream 

Coal – Nationwide 

I love eating here for Breakfast or Dinner. It’s busy but in a way that you know the food is good. I’ve had many a good meal at Coal, along with their yummy cocktails when it’s happy hour!

Menu Choice: The Coal Burger and a Pina Colada! 

Nandos – Nationwide 

Who doesn’t love a cheeky Nandos? This is one of my go to places in town centre. Good service, gorgeous chicken and it’s not going to break the bank. The service has always been super quick, which means Nandos is a great choice after a long day when you know what you want.

Menu Choice: Chicken Burger with chips and corn on the Cob.

The Portsmouth Arms – Basingstoke 

This is one of our local pubs and I absolutely love it. It’s a cosy pub that serves a good filling menu with lovely staff. Growing up I knew a lot of people that worked here and even now they’ve left it’s still one of my favourite places to go for dinner. There’s also a pub quiz on a Sunday and gorgeous seating outside for when it’s warm. I also spent the evening of my 18th birthday here.

Menu Choice: Pie and Chips (award winning) and Ice Cream for Dessert

TGI Friday’s – Nationwide 

I have a bit of a love affair going with TGI Friday’s. The food is mouthwatering if you’re looking for burgers, chicken or steak and I could eat their chips all day. There’s always a party atmosphere at TGI’s and I’ve had a wonderful server every single time I’ve gone. My favourite part though? The cocktails. They have one of the best cocktail menu’s I have ever seen or tasted (Key West Coolers are one of my favourites, as well as a Purple Rain). There’s a stack of amazing deserts and if you go on your birthday there’s also some incredible cake.

Menu Choice: Chicken Strips with Jack Daniels Sause, Cocktail (as listed above) and a Ice Cream Sundae for dessert.

Mio Fiore – Newbury 

This small, but wonderful Italian is hidden away in Newbury. I used to go a lot with my old job and everything about it was charming. It’s in a quiet location in a beautiful building with charming staff and some of the best Italian food I’ve ever tasted. If you’re ever around the area or want some authentic Italian food pop down and your tastebuds will thank you later.

Menu Choice: Chicken wrapped in ham resting on potatoes (I can’t remember the Italian for it).

Longbridge Mill – Basingstoke 

Another regular place for Ali and I to eat. We go here a lot for family meals and also had our graduation dinner with my parents here. This place holds a lot of memories for me, when I was a child there was a Pirate Ship play area, I absolutely loved it and so my parents would take me in the summer evenings. They’d struggle to get me to stay still enough to eat my food! Now Ali and I regularly meet his dad for dinner and although there is no pirate ship anymore it does have a great menu and warm hearted staff.

Menu Choice: Steak with chips, dessert Chocolate Brownie.

Wetherspoons (Nationwide) 

I’ve spent many an evening in a Wetherspoons for some cheap and tasty food and a few drinks, need I say more?

Menu Choice: Chicken Strips with Absolute Vanilla Vodka and Coke.

Where do you think I should try next?

Let me know in the comments below!

Hamski

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I didn’t quite know if I had the strength to write this post. It’s been a horrible week that finally hit rock bottom this morning. Hamski passed away in our hands this morning. Our beautiful girl will now join her sister. It was heartbreaking to watch her take her final breaths with both Ali and I this morning.

I know some won’t understand but this little ball of fluff and love has gotten me through a lot. When I broke my back, she and her sister got me through it. Whenever I was upset she would lick my face if I cried. My little explorer also loved my dressing gown, running and finding places to hide.

This is only a short post because I am heartbroken and just desperately upset that our girl is gone. We buried her in a special place and I hope more than anything, if there is any kind of afterlife she’s with her sister. I’ve run through so many things in my mind, what if I’d done this? What if I’d got up earlier? Should I have got her checked out yesterday when she wanted extra cuddles? I know most pet owners would torture themselves in the same way. For me, my hamsters were my babies, I feel a little lost.

I loved you so much Hamski, we’ll never forget you, be at peace.

Hamski Miller 2015-2017

Sunshine Clearing a Cloudy Mind

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It’s known that sunshine, for a lot of people, is an instant mood booster. People feel better about life, there is literal light around you, it’s no surprise that summer is most people’s favourite season. As I write this my washing is in the garden, my back doors are open and I’ve been driving with my windows down in the car. The sunshine is a welcome addition to my life.

I’ve made no secret that since graduating I haven’t been feeling my best. I’ve felt lost, confused and sometimes let down from graduate life. Combining that with the winter months I didn’t feel like myself. A little bit of sun, a bit of real light, can change that. Now, I’m not saying that a little bit of sun can clear depression, it definitely doesn’t but the vitamin D boost is known to help those of us with depression.

Bring on the summer, bring on the sunshine for the helping hand that it gives.

Hello Spring!

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If, like me, you’re currently in the UK it didn’t feel too much like the first day of Spring today with torrential rain, wind and cold. That said, I’m SO excited that we’re finally entering Spring time, we’ll have lighter evenings soon, flowers will start to bloom (which may or may not be a good thing for Hayfever sufferers). More than anything I know it will help my mood improve and hopefully my lows. Here’s to Spring time!

 

Sunday Seven: Living With Chronic Pain – Tips.

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For some of you who have been following my blog for the past few years (firstly, you rock) you will know that a few years ago I broke and damaged some of the vertebrae in my spine, along with some nerves in my leg after a horse riding accident. I’ve come a long way in the past two years and live a relatively normal life, I still work full time, I still see my friends, I still go out but I just need to be a little more careful. Of course, it’s a challenge and a case of good days and bad days.

After two years I’ve come up with my own ways to deal with the days where pain is a problem and although I’m no superwoman and struggle I’ve learnt to live day to day.

Acknowledge that your body is doing the best it can 

It’s incredibly frustrating when your body doesn’t play game. It’s easy to hate on it and get angry, upset and feel that your body is failing you but, it is doing the best it can. My body healed from serious injuries and it will take time for it to go back to the way it was before.

Celebrate the little things 

I love when I can do things again that show a little step in the right direction. Having a good gym session, going for a walk, losing some of the weight that appeared after the accident etc. These are all things that I try and celebrate as it shows my body healing little by little.

You know your body, make sure doctors understand that 

Doctors appointments can be battlefields. Know your body, know what you need.

Accept that life is full of good days and bad days 

Some days I feel brilliant, other days I’m in a lot of pain and struggle with my body and my happiness. These are unfortunately both parts of living with chronic pain.

Find a release from your pain 

Listen to music, write, make art, write blogs. There needs to be a healthy outlet for your pain because it is a real and valid emotion.

Talk to others who know how you feel  

I’ve found the Twitter community amazing when I’m having a bad pain day. There are so many others who can understand what you’re going through and give you a little support when you need it.

Remember you are more than your pain 

It’s easy to feel locked into your pain on a tough stretch, that this is your life and you’ll always feel this way. You’re more than this and you’re stronger than this!