As many of you know music is something that is incredibly important to me. I’ve been performing since I was around seven years old so the sudden anxiety attack at sound check tonight kind of threw me off guard. After a truly awful sound check where I forgot most of my words, it’s safe to say I was a little upset. Ok, try absolutely freaking out. It’s been well over a month since I’ve performed and coming back to Basingstoke wasn’t helping my nerves.
As we watched the other musicians I started to relax as well as freak out (an odd combination). I had the honour of watching my beautiful friend Nicole play and she writes such stunning music you can’t help but relax and enjoy it.
In the end the night went incredibly well and the new songs got great feedback. As a result I was quite angry with myself because despite ALWAYS getting stupidly nervous, I hadn’t had a proper panic/anxiety attack in quite a while. I think it’s because of a pressure I feel to prove that we can move on from For All That Goes. As stupid as it sounds the break up really made me doubt myself as a musician and generally as a person so this gig meant a lot to me.
So now there will be no more under 18 nights at Poison due to it being closed and it upsets me as I have good memories of the place. So really this is an entry about moving on I suppose. I’m hoping that I wont be as panicked next time and instead I will be excited next time I perform which will be open mic night… let’s wait and see!