Tag: writer

No babies please! – My Implant!

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Do my biceps look big in this? 

Like many other 20 somethings I decided that right now wasn’t the best time for me to have a sprog. Not only am I still living on Student Loan I also feel that my hamsters are more than enough for me and I’m always exhausted after looking after my goddaughter. So today I was booked in to have another contraceptive implant put in my arm and the other one removed. Of course I thought I’d take you guys along for the ride because getting this was really important to me.

I’m aware that some of you might not have heard about them before or know what they do/ how they do it, so here’s some info from the NHS website:

The contraceptive implant is a small flexible tube about 40mm long that’s inserted under the skin of your upper arm. It’s inserted by a trained professional, such as a doctor, and lasts for three years.

The implant stops the release of an egg from the ovary by slowly releasing progestogen into your body. Progestogen also thickens the cervical mucus and thins the womb lining. This makes it harder for sperm to move through your cervix, and less likely for your womb to accept a fertilised egg.

Yep, that’s all the boring and gross stuff. Basically if you know you don’t want kids for at least 3 years it’s a great way to not get pregnant. As you will have been told at school there are lots of ways to be protected so why use the implant? For me it’s because I only have to remember to get it changed every 3 years and I’m too scatty for the pill. It’s also because last time I had it, it made my periods lighter and less painful (if that’s not a win I don’t know what is).

I will admit I had some reservations though, the problem with getting an implant is that it needs to be inserted. You get local anesthetic to numb the spot and then it’s put in with what Ali describes as a box cutter. I think the anesthetic needle is the worst part because that’s the only part you feel when you first have an implant inserted. You do feel it inside your arm a little but that’s more weird than anything.

I asked on Twitter and Facebook what people wanted to know about having one removed and another reinserted and what came up most was pain and how that compares to the first time. For me getting it taken out was not the problem. My body is weird with local anesthetic though and let me stress I’m the ONLY person I know this has happened to, I could feel a little during the incision but only for a minute. My doctor offered to stop but I decided to carry on because it was stinging more than anything. So the old implant is pulled out (sometimes it takes a little longer if it’s hard to find or won’t come out as easily, in the worst case they’ll scan your arm to find it first) and that’s all fine and dandy. I then had a little more local anesthetic added to my arm (probably because I had some feeling before, although not enough for it to hurt) which was annoying because that bit hurts. Then the new one was put in, I felt that a little (similarly to the first time) and it was done. I was wiped up and with my lovely super pale skin I started to bruise straight away but it was done.

All in all it took less than 5 minutes and I was talking to my doctor the whole time. It’s really worth it and I don’t think it was more painful than the first time. Honestly the only thing a normal person needs to worry about feeling pain is the anesthetic needle and that’s over pretty quickly. I’d definitely recommend it for someone young like me who wants to make sure they’re covered.

Obviously I’m not a doctor and there’s a load of other stuff that I’m not well versed in about potential side effects, who can’t have it and all that stuff. If you’re interested definitely talk it over with your doctor and don’t read horror stories online some people love to scare others. Even though I’m sitting here in a bandage and I’m starting to feel sore I don’t regret it and I have peace of mind now for another 3 years.

Something a little different – sharing some poetry

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I wanted to share something a little different with you all today. I’ve been thinking of ways to make the blog a little more interesting and I have a lot of blogs planned out for you all! For today I’d like to share one of my poems I wrote a few years ago!

Heartbreak

I am falling apart

Pieces and pieces of this tough old heart

I know again that it will start

I will move on but for now I need to mend a broken, broken heart.

As always let me know what you think 🙂

I will write a book! – Inspiration and confidence boost!

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I have spent today getting on and I spent this evening being inspired, so all in all a productive day. I spent a few hours this evening working at our Postgraduate Open Evening and for me it was that bit more exciting as these people may be my classmates next year when I undertake MA.

I’ve always found my lecturers to be very inspirational, I know I sound like a geek but if I’m honest I don’t care. The lecturers are all incredibly smart and brilliant with their specialties. Studying English Lit has just made this passion burst out of me and the only other thing that has ever done that is music (more on that at a later date), I love them both but I know that after this year I’m not ready to stop studying. I feel like there is so much more to do, to read and to explore and tonight talking to lecturers in Literature, Language, Creative Writing and Publishing and there was just a buzz I felt, I know that if I can’t be a musician for a living this was the next best thing.

If all that wasn’t enough to get me hyped up about finally sitting down and getting my book finished then what I came home to was. If you follow my blog you may remember that I met a great friend at YA book club last month, Becky. I came home to the news that she has published her novel on Amazon! I’m so proud and excited for her and if you’d like to take a look and buy her novel (which you definitely should) then you can click here and if you’d like to follow her on Twitter head to @Becky__Willson. Becky may only be 17 but I see big things coming for her and I’m so proud to be able to call her my friend :3.

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The cover for Becky’s novel, isn’t it pretty! 

I’m lucky to have such amazing people around me and I now that a lot of people don’t have that. From now on I’m going to be working on my novel and hopefully one day I’ll be able to release it. I’m currently writing a Young Adult novel about a character called Ava and her complicated family life, friends and general life as a teenager. I know that’s not much to sink your teeth into yet but it will be! I promise! I just don’t want to give anything away yet until I’m sure myself.

Finally I’ve got some confidence back in me, some positivity and some great things planned and I honestly can’t wait!

As always tomorrow will be another book review, 15 Reasons Why by Jay Asher.

Who’s that girl?

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Who’s that girl I see looking at me from a magazine? She’s perfect, she has flawless skin, bright eyes and not a hair out of place, she’s thin, there are no hips, no cellulite, although despite her skinny frame her breasts are fantastic. She’s not real. Tonight I spent a good amount of time watching the above and this afternoon I was reading my normal monthly set of women’s magazines.

Now I’m not going to use this article to bash women’s magazines because I know some who really do support women, although I can’t claim to understand some of the articles. I do have a problem with advertising, because it promotes an image that none of us can achieve. I’ve said many times on this blog that I’m not always happy with my body, especially as of late. I fractured my spine, I put on some weight and I wish I could say so what but I’m surrounded by images of thin and beautiful women.

I’m not saying we ban an idea of beauty, I mean who hasn’t used a good filter on Instagram? Or been happy with a little touch up here and there? Of course we do. I also want you to think about any time you’ve felt a little bit sad looking at pictures or thought I wish I looked like that, because I know that as an impressionable teenager I had these fleeting thoughts but they wouldn’t damage me right? Wrong. In part these images added to my feelings of self consciousness and comparing myself to other women.

In the video about I heard about young women who took on teen magazines to limit the use of photoshop. This gives me so much joy and hope. At that age you don’t always know that these images aren’t real, that you can’t look like that. I remember posing like Paris Hilton (I was a young teenager, and it was the early 2000s, give me a break) in a holiday snap to try and look thinner…I wasn’t fat to begin with. Children and young people are very impressionable, especially as you hit the teenage years your body is doing things you have no control over, your spotty or greasy or whatever.

Now for most of us who are bullied and teased we grow up and shed that awkwardness, even just a little, but at the same time we didn’t have the glare of social media. I just want to educate young girls that this isn’t real and at the same time. I want the media to stop sexualising everything they can, to not cut a model like a pumpkin, carving what they want out of you.

Just preparing for a project I’m going to do and looking at the words used in women’s magazines and they’re almost as responsible as the pictures. I want to do something positive. I want to shout it for the roof tops as I remind my little sister that she is the most naturally beautiful person I know and my little cousin that just because we’re a different shape to my sister doesn’t mean were not beautiful too. I want to make people not feel ashamed to wear makeup or want to get fitter but to know that there are so many different types of perfect and not just the models in a magazine.

10 Things not to say to a writer

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This has been trending on Twitter today and I can’t help but laugh and agree with most of the tweets that are going out. I love writing, I honestly do but sometimes people think being a writer is a free pass to treat you like an idiot and ask stupid questions. So I may have gotten just a tiny bit sarcastic with these. So here are my 10 things not to say to a writer…

1. Being able to write all day must be SO relaxing 

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Ummmm yeah staying up all night trying to meet deadlines is like bathing in Lavender…

2. What is going to be/ is your real job though? 

*sigh*

3. Oh, writing, but what are you going to do with that?

I’m going to do whatever the hell I like.

4. Have you read 50 Shades of Grey? Don’t you think Mr Grey is a great character? 

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If you mean the real Mr Gray, as in DORIAN FREAKING GRAY, yes I think he’s genius. If you mean that drivel that sexually frustrated housewives mean, please leave.

5. Anyone could write! 

Hahahaha. Okay, off you go then come back to me in a week and tell me how you’re getting on.

6. You better not be writing about me. 

Well, I wasn’t but now you never know…

7. Oh, that’s depressing 

When  used to tell people about the novel I was writing I got this a lot. People just run with the basic idea, not with what you’re trying to do with it. Infuriated me to no end.

8. I don’t read.

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Shut up. Just shut up.

9. When are you going to do something with your writing?

I don’t know what it is with people but they think that you magically produce a book in a matter of weeks. Writing is hard work. When you’re struggling with writers block this is the last thing you want to hear.

10. But what do you really know about that? 

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Here’s the magic of writing, you can imagine whole different lives without actually living them. There’s a difference between research (which does happen) and living the lives of every single one of your characters. My favourite authors have come up with different worlds they can’t have possibly lived but they’ve made it real to the reader. Now that’s magic.

What are your 10 things not to say to a writer?

Writers Block

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I have a confession to make. I have writers block. That damn sneaky little thing that drains all of your ideas and then laughs at you. You know the one, you’re all hyped up, let’s do this and then you get to a blank page and…

Yup, that’s as far as I get.

I can’t get ideas for songs out of my brain, I fell like just curling up in bed when I think about trying to physically write my blog ideas and as for my novel? Don’t even go there. I wanted to keep you all updated because this is a part of being a writer. Well, I think so and most other people I know think so too. In fact I got taught that even in essay writing procrastination is a part of the writing process. You read it right, scrolling through Youtube or Reddit for hours can now be called part of your ‘creative process’.

So if I’m so blocked how am I writing this? Well that you see if part of my plan. Write my thoughts, write some plans and I’m hoping by Monday the best shall be gone and I can come out of all this with an album’s worth of songs, 20 blog posts and two novels (I might be slightly optimistic there, slightly).

Anyway I hope you’ve enjoyed my little post tonight as always leave a comment! I love talking to you guys! 😀

Beating the lows! Tattoo time and making happiness happen.

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I’ve been writing to you all a lot about how I’ve been feeling and I’ve had overwhelming support from you all, thank you! So I decided to do something about it today after getting yet more bad news this afternoon about the Foo Fighters concert (it’s now been cancelled but this afternoon when I called they told me I couldn’t change me ticket and questioned whether I really need my wheelchair for an event like that. Yes, unfortunately I do. Either way I was feeling a little down and overwhelmed about the whole thing, as well as getting my head around a new job. I mentioned yesterday that I’d be getting my new tattoo at some point and that was today! I hobbled off the bus to go into the two good tattoo places I know about in Kingston. The first, although known for it’s service I just didn’t get the right feelings from, it was too dark and I just felt uncomfortable. So I headed home disappointed, sulked a little and ate a lot of chocolate while trying to make some work plans. After that I thought screw it, I’ll go to the the place across the road. I fell in love with it, the atmosphere, the staff and the tattoo artist. They quoted more but it just felt right this time, more so than I did about my first tattoo.

I wanted something simple, yet meaningful. My first tattoo I got when I failed my driving test the first time (well I didn’t know there would be another 4 times to go until I passed). I wanted to remember that it’s ok to fail, because I’m a perfectionist and I don’t take failure well (ask the poor wall at my parents house that I threw my shoe at). This one was different though, I’ve toyed with a lot of ideas, lyrics, symbols thinking of what I wanted to represent getting through, getting better and to motivate me when times are really hard. I found the idea on Pinterest and fell in love with it instantly and I knew that’s what I wanted. I waited though, to make sure.

I had the words ‘One day at a time’ tattooed on my left wrist. If I ever need help, reminding that I’ve come through before or just some comfort it’s there now forever. I’ve sat here staring at it all afternoon, it just fills me with happiness. Before I get it in the comments, yes it did hurt, no I wont regret it. It’s something so simple but means so much to me.

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Now I wouldn’t recommend that every time someone feels really low they get a tattoo, it would be super expensive but this is something I wanted for a long time and it felt right to do it now.

Yes it has been a rough past few days but now I’m more determined than ever to make the next few great. Tomorrow will be one of my last times seeing Eleanor before she goes off to New Zealand (sob) so I’m making sure there is lots of laughter, going back to band practice, before our acoustic show in Guilford and celebrating Laura’s 21st at the weekend :). And if I need any extra help? I just need to look down.

Athens Day Three: Open Top Bus Tour, The Acropolis and working with my novel

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I made it! I made it out and got to see some of the sights. After filling up on breakfast we slowly made our way to buy tickets for the bus. City – Sightseeing Bus Top Tours are all over the world, I’ve often seen them around London but now I want to actually go on one. The deal was you buy one day and get another free, we’re hoping we can use the other day later this week, because there is a lot too see it’s just really spread out. IT cost us 18 Euros for the bus, so not the cheapest and I didn’t get as many photos as I wanted too because the sun was so damn bright. We sat on the top deck, with our headphones plugged in, melting in the heat of Athens. If you do any of these tours then water is a must, and a hat which I bought before we got on board.

The bus travels around the city, giving you a mix of historical information, opportunities for walking tours and photo tours and top tips for the city, all included in the price. I knew I couldn’t do much walking so the tour was a nice way to catch a glimpse of the city and it’s beauty. The columns standing after thousands of years, statues of the Gods mixed with modern touches too. Children shouted hello and waved to our bus and we waved back, laughing at their excitement.

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In the city gardens

Our method was to stay on the bus the whole way round, which took an hour and a half, before getting off at the Acropolis. It didn’t take long to realise my hopes of going up the Acropolis weren’t going to happen. Most of the city was too uneven for my wheelchair and there were a lot of steps surrounding, Ali promised we’d come back later on when I could do it, but I was heartbroken. I did, however, get to go to the Museum where most of what was inside was moved to, or casts of them anyway. Seeing what had survived and the detail of the ancient world was breathtaking, unfortunately you’re not allowed to take any pictures while inside. There was even the old streets under your feet that you could look at through glass.

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The Acropolis Museum, (l) Stadium, (r) The best picture Ali and I could get together on top of the bus and he’s actually smiling!! 

As we got off of the bus we were lucky enough to watch the changing of the guard, the outfits are amazingly detail with 400 pleats and take 80 days each to make. The 400 pleats represent 400 years of occupation. They have a special march and guard the tomb of the unknown soldier.

Today put a lot of strain on my spine, we came back to the hotel for an hour or so that both of us could drink a lot of water and relax before having to head to class tonight. I was upset with my spine, fed up of the pain and still wanting to do everything. Even going to class this evening was a struggle, but I’m glad I did!

As well as discussing another piece of work by a fellow student, I also had my 1-1 meeting with my tutor. We sat down and worked through my submission piece and discussed where I was going to go with it, how I felt about ideas that had been put forward, things like that. Katherine is a brilliant tutor. I have so many ideas and directions of where I can go with my novel now, it’s actually becoming real!

As for tomorrow, it very much depends on my spine and how I feel but I’m hoping to go out and explore again (fingers crossed).

The Pier.

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From time to time I write stories, I wanted to share this one with you.

Walking along the pier she could almost imagine that nothing had changed. She could still feel the sand under her toes, the sun prickling on her skin and through her t-shirt, although by now she’d stopped pretending she was a princess. Of course things had changed, she’d swapped a bucket and spade for a camera and notebook, her fathers hand for a pair of dark sunglasses. The Ocean was something that caught her in the middle, of course it changed but it stayed the same.

She listened to the waves before looking up towards the sky, throwing her head back she listened. The seagulls circled, calling to eat other about the nearest bit of food. The children screamed and ran while the water chased them, destroying their castles, it didn’t matter they’d soon make another. The plink of the amusement park and the whirr of the candy floss spinning. She followed the sounds she used to squeal over, being silent now.

Her feet took off up the banks and closer. She pushed the glasses up her nose and pulled her hat down a little more. The boards creaked beneath her and she let herself look below, to the waves gently lapping it was almost inviting. There was a time when she would scream, not wanting her feet to touch the ground, she was certain she was going to fall. As soon as the thought ambushed her, her fingers found the pole and gripped almost involuntarily. They used to carry her, taking it in turns, so she could just bury her head and listen without being scared.

She wasn’t scared as much now, not that she would admit it anyway. Of course most things were how she always wanted them now, more than she could ever imagine but with that came a tightness in her chest. She wanted to come here whenever her body threatened to out her, but it would be months before she came again. She picked up the camera and began clicking again at anything, everything, until she found it.

It wasn’t significant to anyone else, just one of the many benches along the Pier. Even on this busy day it was free, call it destiny or whatever you want, she didn’t really care. She lowered herself, lifting her face so that the sun caught her freckles.  This is where her fortune was told, not by someone magical, well not to you or I. They told her about the future while she craned her neck to see the sea, they held her hand and told her just what was to come because no one but her could do it.

A tear escaped and she doesn’t wipe it away. The notebook opened and her hands craft what they were meant to. The Pier, the same, different and a part of her all at the same time.

Working on it, thoughts, plans and blogging

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Yay for motivational slightly girly looking quotes! I thought a lot today about what I wanted my blog to be. I’m not a girly blogger or really interested in fashion, to be fair if I posted what I was wearing every day you would all get pretty bored I think…other than the awesome T-Shirts (oh Primark you are so good to me). I don’t know where exactly I fit in the blogging world after all this blog is a year and a half old now, so shouldn’t I know?

I had today off and realised I wrote nothing yesterday, then panicked a little. So I went to town bought some new notebooks and a few books…opps. I wanted to feel like I was doing something rather than looking at my laptop. So I started thinking am I writing what you guys want to read? Will I ever get a huge following? Am I interesting at all?!? Let’s face it, we all want to know that what we’re writing is actually being read. Then I stopped myself, I blog for me mainly and I’m starting to figure out what you guys like too. You all love lists apparently, which is fine with me because I’m a little obsessed with them.

So I decided I would write today, although I didn’t know what on. I wanted to write about Leelah Alcorn, something I am working on, but I need to find the right words which haven’t happened yet. I also told myself to stop freaking out because I missed one day. So I started googling things to make me think or just quotes I liked and I found this one, about doing things.

It’s kind of what I’m doing step by step, take last night for example. Last night was the first night I had spent completely alone since halls last year and I was ok. I was a little lonely going to sleep because I like cuddles but I was pretty good. I read for a long time, got some cleaning done, saw my friend Joe. So instead of thinking I can’t stay in this flat alone I changed it to a can, and I’m bloody ecstatic about it. As for the dreams into plans thing, I’m working on that I’m focused on my future, my band, my well being and a project I’m working on.

Basically I’m working on it.

Note: This image was found online and I do not own the rights.