Ho, ho, hello!
I think it’s about time I took some of my own advice. If you read one of my most recent posts about how to save spoons over Christmas , you’ll know I said it was important to ask do I really need to do the thing? And be compassionate to yourself. Those are things I haven’t exactly been doing myself.
In the past week we’ve been in the process of moving house (we couldn’t renew thanks to covid destroying the events industry overnight). So, for the time being we’ve move in with family, while other member have taken some of our stuff into storage, helped us out etc. Physically and emotionally it’s been draining.
I initially planned to have most of my Blogmas content written nice and early so I did’t have to much to think about – now it’s the 13th December, I’ve missed 2 days and I was feeling rather shit about myself. I’ve kept my head above water in 2020 just about but now I feel absolutely battered.
While I was worrying that I wasn’t posting I had to stop myself, why was this one of the things I was beating myself up over? Actually, there’s a lot of things on the list I should probably stop being mean to myself about because no matter what depression tells me, most of the time it’s not actually my fault. Global pandemic? Not my fault. Work being tricky because there’s less of it. Also not my fault. Having to leave home because of the implications of said pandemic – you guessed it. Not my fault.
I guess I’m writing this because I know there will be other people out there who are stressed. Who feel like everything is their fault and they could have done better or tried harder. That there are others who will fight anyone who makes their friends and family feel less but are their absolute worst critic.
Here’s the thing, no one is going to die if I don’t write a blog post. A terrible thing isn’t going to happen if I don’t post every day in Blogmas. Basically, I’m trying to give myself a break – which I don’t do often enough.
I hope if you’re reading this and are feeling the same way then it might bring you a little comfort to know you’re not alone.