I didn’t think I would be writing a post like this quite so soon. This week, at around 12am on Thursday morning Ali and I had to say goodbye to one of our beloved and beautiful babies. We found Noodle struggling to breathe at about 11pm and rushed her to an emergency vet, stroking and talking to her the entire way. Unfortunately even after being given oxygen she was struggling to breathe, it was decided that the humane thing to do was to put her to sleep, so she wouldn’t be in pain. She was around 18 months old. 

Holding my sweet girl on my chest as she struggled and was semi conscious broke my heart. Ali hugged her and said goodbye and then I did. Nothing prepares you for that. Coming home with an empty cage I felt as if someone had reached into my chest and hacked out my heart. It was the lowest I’d felt in years. Even though we did the kindest thing in that time I still felt guilty, that was my baby. 

I’ve sobbed on and off since the moment they took her through for oxygen and I still am now. But I’m trying to look at pictures and videos to remember her as the happy little ham she was. God it’s so hard to write was. 

Trying to put into words my heartbreak is just, partly impossible. Both her and Hamski have been there for me without judgement, only love. They got me out of bed every day because they needed me. And while Hamski is still with us and cheeky as ever, it will take time not caring for two. Both Ali and I will always love and remember our brace little one as more than just a pet, because she was. Rest in Peace baby girl. 
Noodle Miller April 2015-September 2016 

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