Tag: student

The last few days

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Ahh I’m finally back on the laptop and ready to write for you all. The last few days I’ve been feeling pretty low, as you can imagine I don’t get prior warning that I’m going to hit a low. With the tiredness, stress of assignments, stress of flat hunting and being alone a lot it’s easy now to see why I’ve been so down. I haven’t felt like writing lately, or doing much. I’ve focused on my work and tried to carry on with the things I have to do, and everything else was kind of just left. 

I have so much going for me at the moment and there is so much going on that even though I’m happy it can get too much and turn into something that is too much. I hate my lows and I feel like I let a lot of people down when they happen, especially when they’re up and down like they have been lately. The important thing is that I’m trying and I’m proud of myself for that at least. I’ve been able to just say when I need to take a step back and look after myself, well I’m trying anyway. 

These are the king of things that make me carry on and try to raise awareness of mental health. As I said in my presentation it’s all about good days and bad days and how you deal with each. So the last few days have been tough, but I’m ok. I have supportive friends and family and I wont let this beat me. I’m also trying to trust doctors again, although this wont be easy because I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with them before, telling me things that weren’t true or not helping me. 

I know this is a bit of a weird post but I don’t know what else to write about today, hopefully things will start being sorted tomorrow and I can go back for my Easter holidays on Thursday and finally relax and sleep. 

Not one, but two!

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I’m going to be super happy and shout from the roof tops and I think I’m allowed to! Guess who won today at the English Literature awards!!!!!!!!! I’m so happy, being recognised for Academic Contribution and winning is more than I could have ever hoped for at uni, it’s far beyond anything I would have expected. I’m so excited by this and to top it off I was commended for the Best Overall Achiever award! I am really pleased that another girl, Daisy won though, she’s amazing in lectures and would make a great teacher.

My Mum, Sister and Ali came with me today, it was so nice just to have them there on such a big occasion to me. Here’s to the next 2 (or hopefully 3!) years at Kingston.

5 reasons being sleep deprived is a good thing

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So as you all know I’m going on very little sleep at the moment here are 5 ways it’s a good thing! 

 

 

1.  Creativity!!! Was I always this creative… 

2. Constantly eating is acceptable because it’s to ‘keep up your energy levels’

 

3. Watching your favourite series back to back because what else can you do at 3am? 

 

4. Everything becomes funny, even things that make no sense… (or tearful but lets ignore that)

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It’s a lobster…haha a LOBSTER *giggles in hysterics for the next 20 minutes* 

 

5. ‘ Don’t disturb them they’re finally sleeping!!!’ 

When you finally manage sleep no one wants to wake you because you look so peaceful….

Dark clouds on a sunny day

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It needs to rain for the flowers to grow, everyone knows that. The quote may seem silly or ,shock horror, cliché but in situations like today it’s true. Despite the amazing news about being shortlisted for the ‘Rising Star’ award today was not a great day. I’m still struggling with my anxiety and have been feeling pretty low for a few days now, but because it’s me it’s very up and down. I don’t want people to worry about me because of this dip, it’s actually made me realise I’m doing the right things to help myself. If I feel down and I don’t have the time I’ll walk to uni and eat something small. I usually make myself busy so I’m not alone in the flat whihc can be very isolating.

Today was one of those days where I just couldn’t make myself happy, it was raining again and I was running late, a morning walk was out of the question. I was still tired and nervous about things coming up. Did I want to see anyone? Did I hell. I don’t have much to talk about because nothing really happened, I didn’t feel overly unhappy but I just felt ‘meh’ if anyone understands what I mean by that. It times like these where I know that I have a great support network around me, Ali, my family, staff at uni and some close friends who understand when I just need to be quiet and think about things.

I’ll mention Ali more than anyone else on this blog because he deals with every side of me and sometimes it’s hard on him as well as me. He knows I’m trying and usually he knows what to say. He knows when I need a hug or a nap, he knows when I need to be told to get up, give it another go and carry on. This has been the case with my driving lessons lately, the closer I get to taking a test the more I freak out, hence the anxiety attack at 8am on Monday morning while I was on the phone to my Mum. He knows how much I hate this. 

A lot of people as if I would get rid of the illness if I could. Of course I would, anyone would. There is nothing more frustrating than feeling miserable for no reason, especially when there are so many good things going on around me at the moment. It’s a pretty shitty feeling. That said I have learnt a lot about it, I’ve learnt a lot about myself and the world I live in. I think in some ways it has made me a better person. The thing is with uni is for the first time I can express how I feel, I can tell someone I’m feeling really stressed and anxious at the moment, I need some time. Or I can say I’m having a low day, I need to go home and relax for a bit or the opposite of calling someone and saying I need people around, can I see you? There are some silver linings to this, although I grant you I wouldn’t say there are many. I’m hoping that by writing this it means I’m finally coming out of the past few days, I know I’ll be ok. 

5 ways to make sure you are on top of your deadlines

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The time of year is rolling around that has students stressed, tired and caffine addicted. Just as some mothers will be making ruthless trips to Toys ‘R’ Us and hasty calls to Santa when toys arn’t in stock, students will be taking their frustratoins out on the uni/college library and that can of redbull (I am one of the lucky ones who has red bull sold in the library..score!). One thing is for certain, both of them want the run up to Christmas to slow the hell down. December/Janurary marks the first set of deadlines for me and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t strressed about one particular module, the key thing is I still have time.

This is where my total pain in the arse organizational skills come in handy, I’ve been reading these lists for a few weeks. I’ve tried to memorise when work is due in so that I’m not caught off guard. Luckily my module guides have been handy and I’ve also picked up some tips along the way.

1. Know when your work needs to be handed in

I think the absolute worst thing is having no idea when everything has to be done by, it can mess with your grade at the end. Now all of my deadlines are pretty close together at the moment, in fact I’ve just written them all out to see how much space I have between each. The whole point of knowing these isn’t so you can stress out for months on end, it’s so you can fit things in. Just make a note of big deadlines in a diary or notebook (believe me I am religiously obsessed with noting things down in my academic diary!)

2. Plan when you are going to do things

As I hinted at above I like to plan when I am going to do things. Not everyone works well with pressure, so why not write a to-do list. I find these help more as I can put things in order of what needs to be done and I feel satisfied when I tick it off at the end of the day. I also do a rough plan of when in the week I need to do things and what I have on that week, I’m not goign to lie and say that this can be concrete because things change but a rough guideline can make a world of difference.

3. If you are unclear on what to do ASK!

I think I drive my tutors mad with questions but apparently they think it’sa better idea than getting stuck. Tutors will be much more willing to help you two weeks before the deadline NOT two days. It’s a good idea just to get clarification if your unsure of what it is you need to do.

4.PRIORITISE

This is something I struggle with sometimes, I know that I have to get my Creative writign work done but it doesn’t mean I don’t try and skip. Try and stick to what is due in soonest not what you want to do first. It works both ways though don’t try to get ahead so much that you forget what you have to do for a particular week. Also consider going out, it is still important you know…

5.Make sure you have time for work and play

Which leads me to my last point. It’s all well and good to work hard and get a good grade but you need to have some fun. Fun for you  might be going to Hippodrome and getting so drunk you forget about that assignment until tomorrow or it might be reading a book. Basically whatever you do to relax/have fun make sure you do this too because otherwise you’ll wonder why the hell you’re here.

10 Ways to Survive Freshers Week!

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1. Say Hi to all your flatmates! 

This really is a must, you’re going to live with these people all year, like it or lump it. I was lucky and got really nice flat mates (even a nice girl on my course!), if you guys arn’t  that alike remember they on’t have to be your best friends you just have to get on.

2. Go to your induction lectures 

I had 3 9am starts down on my timetable which I was DREADING but after attending one the rest of my 9am lectures were cancelled. Also they give you good tips in these as well as important info, we even got our first task in one lecture. On top of that you get to meet your course mates and lecturers, in a way these are even more important than your flat mates these people will see you for 3 years (first impressions count). 

3. Cry when you need it 

So you’re in a new town/city, a new room and you’ve just spent £9000 on fees I think your entitled to a good cry. Almost everyone I have spoken to has had a break down at one point or another, so don’t bottle it up! I always found that after I made my self go and do something so that I wasn’t wallowing.

4. Phone or Go Home when YOU need it 

So if you’re like me you will more than likely get quite homesick, here’s a secret, you’re allowed to phone home! After talking to other people I know that most of us are phoning home most days (every day in my case) and a few people have had to go home for varied reasons. It’s not the best idea to go back every weekend if you can help it because you do need to make friends but I know a few people at my uni who have done freshers and gone home for the weekend. It’s all up to you and how you feel. 

5. Don’t buy everything on the booklist, ask what you NEED. 

Ask any second or third year they will say the same thing only buy the CORE textbooks. I study English and we read a new book a week for one module (as you can guess that is impossible to budget for) but we get the resources online to read which is helpful. Even our lecturers have said that you don’t need to buy absolutely everything, talk to people about what you really need.

6. Don’t feel pressured into going out every night 

I went out drinking twice in freshers week and that was definitely enough. There is a big pressure to go out and be wild every night, coming from some of my friends who did it, it’s boring. The problem with freshers is that absolutely everyone thinks they need to be out every night meaning the clubs and bars are rammed. If, like me, you are not that into the club scene then just do something else until it calms down. go to a few flat parties for an hour or two and show your face then go do something else you don’t need to be wasted to be a good fresher! 

7. Learn who you are

This kind of ties in with what I said above, learn who you are and what you want to do. If you don’t want to do something then say no! It’s all up to you now, try and be comfortable in your own skin (I know how hard this can be trust me).

8. Get to know where you live! 

Take the wrong bus, walk the wrong way all these little mishaps allow you to get to know where you live and where things are! 

9.Don’t spend your Student Loan in the first week

I thought it was obvious but apparently not. I know people who went full out shopping the day the loan came in…let’s see how tasty those shoes are at Christmas…

10. Enjoy yourself! 

It’s stressful and new and scary but once that bit calms down have fun learning about yourself 🙂 

DEAF HAVANA!!

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Today I queued for around 2 hours (on and off) in the pouring rain. Do I mind? Surprisingly no I don’t today I got to see one of my absolute favourite bands Deaf Havana! I was lucky enough to get tickets to a small record shop in town called Banquet Records and it is amazing, so many good live bands play there! It’s honestly an incredible place. After trying to navigate busses me and Ali finally made it to the record shop! Now the place can’t fit too many people in there so for only £10 each we got to see an intimate acoustic set and actually meet Deaf Havana afterwards! It was an amazing atmosphere and it just made you realise how normal they were. You could see some shaking hands, they talked openly with the crowd joking along and they had no diva side at all. It was just an incredible set and I honestly couldn’t believe just how good the harmonies were live, absolutely breath taking. As they sang one of my favorites ‘Hunstanston Pier’ I had shivers and just wanted to sing my heart out, the atmosphere was magical.  At that moment in time life just felt complete, I know how that sounds but I was where I wanted to be finally in uni, listening to an amazing band with Ali’s arms wrapped around my waist. I think I’m gonna like this place 🙂 

It got even better after that, I’m having a ball with my flat mates they’re all so lovely and we’re learning a lot from each other. I met one of the most prominent members of the Rock and Metal society today and I’m finally finding people who don’t want to go out drinking and clubbing all the time thank god! So for my birthday (which I am SUPER excited about) we will be heading to a local Rock, Punk and ‘Emo’ night which is so amazing as I’ve never even heard of that before. In short I feel like more of a musician than ever and people totally accept I want to study something different which is a first! 

 

Keep an eye out for the album guys 😉 and while your at it why not go and check out Deaf Havana’s those lads are diamonds! 

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A Freshers Tale

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Long ago in a  city far, far away lived a fresher living on Cider, Toast and Baked Beans..

Ok so that isn’t how my story is going to start (well hopefully not, I’m not that keen on bean on toast). My name is Chloe if you’ve been following this blog or my other blog (www.ihadtobuyanotherbookcase.wordpress.com) you may know a little about me. I’m an 18 year old student, in Sptember I’ll be accepting the slightly dizzying challenge of starting university in a city I don’t know.  I decided to start this blog for myself and other freshers, I’ve scoured the internet for advice and thought I could take a crack at it.  In 13 days I will attend my enrollment and become a full time student at Kingston University London (which is actually Surrey as well but is mainly classed as London). I’m studying English Literature and Creative Writing (yeah think about THAT reading list when you are buying your own!), something which I find absolutely fascinating, I can’t wait to start.

 

There is another reason I wanted to start this blog and it’s something that isn’t widely spoken about. In July 2013 I was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety meaning that some aspects of education are a little bit harder. The main thing I want to come out of this is an understanding of people like me. I’m not the worst, I’ve seen people in a far worse situation but at the same time I have seen stigma towards anyone who says they have a mental illness.  I have been bullied on and off from the ages of 11 – 18, now I finally feel that I’ve found a place that accepts who I am and where I want to be. Although I’ve been suffering with the illness for 3/4 years I want to make it clear that for many people their illness is a small part of them and although it will be a common part of this blog it is not the only part of me. 

For example 

  • I’m a writer 
  • I’m a musician 
  • I love creating stories 
  • I want to travel 
  • I love to study 

I want this blog to do two things. 1, change at least one persons perceptions of mental health and 2, be somewhere where students can just have a flick through and just ask me any questions! 

 

Honestly give me a comment and I’ll be happy to chat! 

Thank you for reading and look out for my daily updates! 

Chloe