Tag: Music

Listen, Listen!

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https://soundcloud.com/nopeopleclub/sets/no-people-club-summer-2014

It’s finally here for you all to listen to! My band No People Club released 2 singles just before yesterdays festival and I am so excited and proud to share them with you all. These songs mean a lot to me and the lyrics really reflect my life at the time I wrote them.

Life’s Short was initially written last year, I was really down for a while after a friendship break up and I wrote the lyrics and melody as a way to pick myself up and kind of say how I felt about the whole situation. It’s true, life’s too short to be an arsehole or blame anyone else for what you are today. We all make choices and they may be the wrong ones but changing your personality every five minutes isn’t going to help that!

The lyrics to This Time are different. It was originally loads of different line to different songs but they kind of came together when I sat down to write them out. It’s about moving on really and the mixed emotions I had when I moved to uni about wanting to get things right this time around and learning from my mistakes. It also is kind of about realising that sometimes you need to face up to your own problems before anything changes.

These sound so deep and like I planned them to come out this way but honestly songwriting is how I deal with my feelings. Writing these songs kind of spelled out to me how I felt myself. I really hope you enjoy them. Please let me know what you think and share!

I play festivals now! Basingstoke Live 2014

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I feel alive and I never want to forget today. I finally took to the stage and kicked arse. You know what I’ll say it my band is incredible and now we had an audience big enough to agree with us! For the first time in I cant remember how long I didnt have a panic attack or anything. I didn’t cry or scream or lose it. I was okay and the boys were too. Apart from a glitch with an amp (now sorted) the set went fab! A brilliantly warm day for the festival, people enjoying the set and I was so proud of us and the incredible response we got. Our stickers were on the ice cream trucks and random people, one girl was walking around with one on each arm advertising us! There will be more photos to follow but for now I know my home is on stage, my bands singles are out and we played an incredible gig! Now it’s time for a few more drinks and some downtime with the boys before everyone goes home! To everyone who came today, thank you so much including my incredible family and friends, thanks to the organisers, thanks and I love you to the amazing best friends I get to share making music with. I’m so bloody happy right now and the stage is definitely still my home.

 

My bands teaser!!!!!!!

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I’ve been bouncing around about everything we’ve been doing in the studio for a while now. Here is our first teaser for the next single which is out VERY soon!!!!! Follow us on twitter @nopeopleclub and we’re on Facebook! I’m so excited to share this with you. Enjoy!

This Time

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This afternoon I had the euphoric and exhausting delight of finishing the third song on our EP!!!!!! It only took about 4 hours and endless takes but it’s the quickest we’ve finished a song which was an amazing feeling. The song is called This Time I think it was the second song I properly wrote up here, it was about moving and just having that feeling that every time you move you’ll get it right this time and move on. 

Without realising I started writing about myself and how I was feeling at the time. I wanted everything to change and work out instantly at uni and it didn’t, so I realised that maybe it was me. I suppose if I’m being arty about it all my songs are how I work things out in my head. I haven’t written one in a little while I’ve been so focused on performing but I’m hoping the summer will bring out more songs to jam out with the boys in September. 

Real girls EAT CAKE!

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So I’ve fallen in love with a song lately. My sister showed this song to me and yes it is explicit content but it’s funny, it’s catchy and I like the message. The song is called Real Girls Eat Cake! I can’t think of a better message especially young girls like my sister ( if you don’t mind the swearing). Food wise I’ve always tried to be a good role model for my sister I always eat in front of her I always encourage her to not worry about stupid fad diets and to love herself (although she is the tiniest thing!).

I wanted to share this song with you all because I love it! It’s just so catchy and I’ve had it on repeat for about an hour and it just makes me smile. This is the great thing about my female friends all the ones who have the same sense of humour as me love it too, especially my friend Sonia! I want you all to enjoy this and go eat some bloody cake! Yeah about that… the first place I went other than the petrol station in the car? Sainsbury’s. This was with the sole intention of buying fresh cream cakes for my family because I love them…and I got lost on the way to Tesco’s the night before.

I want to be positive about food because I have had issues in the past with how I felt about myself and I took it out on my food and it meant I didn’t enjoy it. I’m still not that keen on cooking, but I’m sure that will pass as soon as I’m back to a clean kitchen, not halls! I may have to track down some lovely cake tomorrow though because real girls eat cake 😉

Getting my groove back!

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Not my best photo but it was in a dark pub! 

As corney as the title is I genuinely felt like I got my groove back tonight! I’ve been in a rotten mood all day after waking up late, my bus breaking down and feeling overly emotional. Being around people was the last thing I wanted to do this afternoon so I wasn’t all sweetness and light at band practice today. Although Ali being Ali decided it would be  good idea to give me a mic stand rather than to just giving me the mic and it worked. Although at first I wanted to stick it somewhere for him even suggesting it, I got into it and I started to sound better, although slightly deaf at the end of it. I knew we had an open mic night tonight and I was nervous, I think this also made my mood a little bit more crappy than it normally would be. I just felt stressed and nervous and still had yesterdays driving lesson on my mind.

The venue turned out to be very different to what we expected and after some discussion/ slight worry Ali and Rhys headed back on the bus to grab acoustic guitars instead and we just went ok lets give this a go even though we’ve never practised it before. That’s what being in a band is about right? I can honestly say being up in front of everyone and singing was the happiest I’ve been in weeks. Instead of feeling nervous I kinda just gave in to the music and felt like I was on cloud nine. The once noisy pub now had its eyes on us and was clapping and cheering for us, even the new songs. It was incredible and a total hit! IT might not have been the crowd we thought we’d be playing to but it was damn fun. Also Rhys surprised me with his INCREDIBLE backing vocals!

It’ safe to say we all left tonight in a seriously good mood and ready to kick ass with the EP. It’s put me in a good mood for recording tomorrow, even though I’m still pretty nervous. The thing is people really liked our sound, they liked us and I really loved people being so positive about our music. I’m insanely happy and ready to crawl into bed and get a good nights sleep before recording again tomorrow.

Back to the Studio and back to being me

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Today something changed. I’m back online and the happiest I’ve been since I got back from Easter break. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that I’ve been struggling for the last few weeks and I’ve been deeply unhappy and felt very alone. This week, so far, seems to be transforming that mind set. I’ve still had some times where I’m alone in the flat but not as many. I’m not hiding in my room as much as I have been the last few weeks. 

After going home for the weekend I started feeling better, then my meeting with my MH mentor made me feel so much better. She understands and is used to seeing people like me but never makes me feel like I’m just another student. I talk to her when I’m feeling particularly down and we try and work out ways to help me. This time it was more talking things out and she understood why I’d been hiding and why’d I’d felt so low lately. She knows me well enough that when I said I’d sat in silence without even my music she knew something was wrong. So that (after a long introduction) is what today’s post is about. 

Music is a huge part of my life, but sometimes it also makes me so anxious. It was finally my turn in the studio today and I was nervous. I hate making mistakes but this is the kind of thing where you make so many. Take, after take,after take but it wasn’t that bad. Despite only having a few hours we managed to get one song finished, 3 more to go and more hours in the studio tomorrow! It was tiring but it actually started to get fun and I started to feel better. I didn’t dwell on every take, I just kept going. 

As much as I hated watching the boys walk the opposite way home I’m smiling tonight. I’ve got my music back on and I’m singing along, so you know I’m on the mend. I wouldn’t wish my lows on anyone, no matter how much they’ve hurt me. I wouldn’t wish not wanting to get up, to do anything and to neglect the things and people you love because of something you can’t control. That said, I wouldn’t change who I am. This illness doesn’t define me, it’s a part of me that sometimes does take a few days away. I’ve had it for so long I worry about what they call ‘going back to normal’ I’ll never be a 13 year old girl again and that’s who I was before any of this kicked in. I suppose I’m realising that maybe this could be the start of feeling better. The things I’ve noticed so far? As my friend Will says (see I told you I wouldn’t say you were evil on my blog :P) I have a smile that means I could get away with murder with anyone BUT Ali. I know that I’m actually pretty nice when I’m happy, I care about people a lot and my pain, my joy, my life comes through my music. I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

All of me

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Sometimes you give all of yourself to something, only to feel like you’ve failed anyway. It’s the worst feeling in the world, especially when history begins to repeat itself. You question yourself, doubt yourself. If you’re like me you have this constant feeling it must be your fault, even if it’s not. Music is healing for me but because it’s what I want to do with my life it can shatter my heart as if it were made of glass.

If I want to make myself understand something I’ll write a song or sometimes if I’m lucky enough I’ll find one that already says everything I need to say, because I don’t know how to say it myself. you may think this is pretty down but today had, for the majority, been a good day. I love waking up next to Ali, it gives me a boost in the morning, I feel loved. It’s like when I go home I like hearing people in the house, I like feeling like there is someone there, like I’m not alone.

Right now I can’t wait to get out of halls, to leave it and get away. I don’t feel happy in this room, I feel lonely and isolated. I don’t feel like I have anyone to turn to or talk to. I am completely and utterly alone here. It’s sad and I haven’t wanted to admit it but it’s true. I read and listen to music here but that seems to be all. I try and make sure I’m not here, even when I’m tired.

I’ve gotten slightly off topic now. Either way I don’t want to give up, I want to carry on but sometimes it’s the last thing on my damn mind. Today I’m mad, I’m mad at so many things and I just don’t know what to do about so many things.

Back where I belong

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So, as you’ve noticed the blog are gradually getting longer again the posts getting happier but maybe not as full. I’ve been on break now for over a month and for the past few weeks the boys and I have been at home for the holidays…meaning no band practice. I didn’t realise how restless I’d get, how much I’d miss the banter with the boys. So Easter break was weird to be honest, I missed the chaos, the music and I was desperate to get back to those rooms and start preparing for Basingstoke Live in a few months. 

Today I got to and it just felt so amazing, even if I’m not slightly deaf in my left ear….cymbals are loud. There was just an energy, a togetherness in the room. I know it sounds stupid but I just felt so happy when I left tonight. We practiced, we messed up, we laughed and then it was off to the bar and finishing the night with chicken and sleep (Ali and Rhys had about 3 hours sleep between them because of assignments…typical students). 

Now the boys are back, the buses are running again and I feel a bit more free and back where I belong really. 

Being Creative

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I know, I know my blogging skills have been slacking lately. I’ve been awful and all over the place for so many reasons I can’t list them all on here. I’ve had family stuff, illness stuff, house stuff name anything and it’s probably been a giant pain in the ass in the last few weeks but thinking about it this didn’t help me to understand why I not only wasn’t writing but why I didn’t want to. It seems odd that his time last year I was trying to write a novel and now I can’t bring myself to write even a song, but I think I’ve worked it out. Confidence. 

A lack of confidence with my writing is something I’ve never felt before. I’ve never really had to feel that way about it, my readers have always been happy and that was enough for me. Then I enrolled on a Creative Writing course and for me it couldn’t have been a worse decision. Now I’m not knocking Kingston, I love my uni with a passion but it’s not secret I’m leaving the Creative Writing course. I just don’t enjoy it, I haven’t really since the first week. I couldn’t get creative from the lessons, it stopped me being creative if anything and made me worry far too much of what others thought of me, I don’t need any more of that! 

Music and writing are now two things I can’t be academically involved with, I don’t want to do it to please people or to their rules. I want to be able to use the words I use and not be restricted because someone doesn’t like them. I want to be free to write in a way that suits me. 

The thing is creativity is where I can be myself and not have to worry and I’m afraid doing Creative Writing as a course really knocked my confidence. While my peers loved my work there were more than one academic who didn’t because it wasn’t their style. I now have a load of rules in my head that are stopping me from writing. I don’t review any more because I’m so nervous about making a mistake and not ‘grabbing’ the reader. I’ve forgotten what I started doing 2 years ago and why. I wrote because I loved it and that bought people in, it still does when I stop worrying enough to write one. 

I’m not knocking all Creative Writing courses, my classmates seemed happy and came up with some fab stuff but it just wasn’t for me, it made me really unhappy and kind of made me forget why I write. I don’t want to worry about nit picking and the correct punctuation when I write something for the first time. I did have two fantastic teachers this year, both I value very highly and they liked my work and gave me constructive criticism if and when it was needed. 

My  point is that now I’ve decided to stick with academics I’m hoping I can have creativity as fun and release. Do I want it as a job? Of course I do but I know that kind would be different. Now is the time to trial things, make mistakes and then go for it with the writing and the music.