Tag: Mental Health

7 ways to Help Your Mental Health Day to Day

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As the days have gotten shorter and it’s a lot darker, anyone’s mental health can take a hit. Recently, while having a medication review, I spoke to a doctor about medication and dosages. He told me that he does not unless he has to for the patient, lower or bring anyone off of antidepressants in the winter months.

I completely understand why he does this. A lot of people feel good at the end of the summer, it’s been warm, there might have been holidays or romance and a lot of time outside the house. In the Autumn & Winter, however, it can get harder.

So, how can we help ourselves, well…

Recognise when you’re not feeling great

Remember that it’s ok not to be ok, it’s like a giant light has gone off for the world, it’s going to knock you! That and it’s cold, not exactly the best conditions to be happy. Know that it’s ok to feel that way and you’re certainly not the only one.

Try and leave the house 

Despite the temperature drop try and go outside. Throw on a big jumper and a coat and go somewhere. It can be as simple as popping to the shop or going for a 10 minute walk.

Practice self-care 

Self-care is really important in whichever way you chose to do it. I’m trying to be healthier and not rely on food  so, recently, I’ve found a nice bath and some poetry makes me feel a lot better.

Make a list of things to look forward to 

I used to really struggle with my day to day because I wasn’t happy with my personal situation. I needed a reason to look forward so I started making notes and writing on calendars at least one thing I was looking forward to. I didn’t need to be anything big but I had a focus point.

Take your time

Take your time with building yourself up. There’s no rush to be the happiest person or to shake off feelings. We’re all different and we all have our own challenges.

Get enough sleep! 

I cannot stress this enough. Sleep is so important to our lives, make sure you get the amount of sleep you need. I know that I can deal with 6 hours a night but to be fully functioning I need 8 hours.

Make sure you eat 

I’m awful at this, I’ll admit that I’m awful at this. When I’m absorbed in something, or when I’m sad food is something I forget about. Don’t be me! Make sure you’re eating and fuelling your body.

When Your Confidence Takes a Hit

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Hello, hello, hello!

It’s been a little while since I’ve spoken about how I’ve been feeling lately, which was how this blog started in the first place. I mean it’s, possible, that I’ve been doing this on purpose, maybe.

Almost 3 weeks ago I was let go from a job I quite enjoyed. It was something that happened out of the blue and I went into shock and immediately doubted myself and what I was good for. Which seems like quite a natural response, I think. Either way, I didn’t expect that I’d be looking for a job again, going to interviews again and trying to rebuild myself again.

My relationship with confidence has been a long and interesting one. To a lot of people, I outwardly seem a very confident and savvy person. In fact, in interviews, I’ve been told I’m a very confident person. Yes, I can be. In situations where I pull out my confidence cape and I’m Super Chloe, I can do anything. Then I go home.

I go home and then the cape comes off and I struggle. I wonder what the hell I’m doing, if I’m going to be able to make all of this work. If, in the next 5 years, I will have to go through it again.

We all know that, in life, we’re going to have highs and lows. There’s going to be times when it completely floors you and your confidence. I’ve been dealing with that a lot in the past few years and trying to piece myself back together and carry on.

I’m taking steps to be more confident and to embrace whatever happens in my life. It’s hard but sometimes you need to be your own cheerleader, know your strengths and ignore those who want to put you down. It’s such a tough internal struggle for all of us but, to me, carrying on is the only option.

 

 

Book Review: The Sun and Her Flowers – Rupi Kaur

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‘never feel guilty for starting again’

In an incredible second collection, Rupi Kaur releases the raw emotion of a modern young woman. From the break down of a relationship to the relationship she shares with her mother, to finding love again when she wasn’t looking for it. Once again, my heart was flung into my mouth reading this and with good reason.

Sometimes a book falls into your hands when you’re in desparate need of it, for me, this was The Sun and Her Flowers. I’ve been a Rupi Kaur fan since reading her first collection Milk and Honey, which spoke to me as a young woman. So, of course I picked up her second collection and devoured it in 24 hours.

When reading Kaur you need to know she is brutally honest. She’s honest about her body, her mind, her sense of self and being a woman. She reflects on the good and bad around her without holding back, because you know that she has held back for so long. There is anger, there is pain and reflection on suffering that has been endured but the poems that describe them are crafted so beautifully that you feel every emotion without sinking into darkenss yourself.

While I’ve already touched upon it the most magnificent part, for me, was the poems Kaur wrote about her mother. She talks about the sacrifices and struggles her mother had to overcome so that Kaur and her siblings could achieve. She wonders what her mothers life would have been like should she have been free to make her descisions. It’s a wonderful insight into the relationship she shares with her mother.

Of course it wouldn’t be a Kaur collection without the accompanying illustrations. There isn’t a fear of showing womens bodies as they are in captivating illustrations. These seem to bring the poems to life at certain points and allow you to visualise the poems themselves.

I gave this collection five stars. This is an absolutely breathtaking collection and something I’m sure I’m going to read again and again. I, personally, found it to be an incredibly empowering collection. I’m sure that Kaur will go far, and I can’t wait to see what she does next.

 

You Can Do It! – World Mental Health Day 2017

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Hello there,

I don’t know what lead you here, maybe you’re feeling a little lost, maybe you saw this on social media and thought I’d see what she has to say. I’m here to tell you, you can do it.

For many, when you have a mental health condition, it can seem as a huge barrier. It can seem like it’s going to stop you achieving your dreams and what you want to achieve in life. There’s a lot of negative portrayals in the media and literature of someone’s life ending. That may have been the old way but with the right help, support and treatment (in many forms) you can achieve what you want to achieve!

Don’t let anyone tell you that what you want to get out of life isn’t possible because of some brain chemistry. What a load of rubbish! Some of the greatest thinkers, performers and artists to have ever lived have had to deal with mental health conditions. It’s a well known fact that in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Dementors were created out from J.K Rowling’s experiences with depression.

Sometimes, the biggest and only barrier is yourself and the voice in your head. It can be completely exhausting to fight your own mind on the simplest thing. I remember years ago when I started university, the thought of getting a bus gave me an anxiety attack. Yep, getting a bus. Then I moved to London and didn’t have a choice, the first few times I was petrified, I was so anxious and panicked. Now, getting a bus in London doesn’t phase me at all, I used to do it all the time. BUT my brain would come up with all these scenarios, it took time but I tamed my brain in that situation and many others.

It can feel like you’re up against the world but I promise you slowly, you can do this. You can do anything. Talk to others, keep going back to your GP until they listen, do what you feel you need to do.

Lots of love,

Chloe

September Favourites!

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I don’t quite know how it’s October tomorrow. This month I’ve had a very quiet one, Ali went off on tour on the 3rd, so I’ve spent a lot of time chilling at home and reading. So, this might not be the busiest favourites month but here they are!

Birthday! 

This month I turned 23! I went out a few days before with a few of my closest friends for dinner and drinks (more than a few drinks) before spending the actual day with my family and having the surprise of a Bose speaker delivered from Ali!

Books 

When it’s just me I read a lot. And I mean a lot a lot. I’ve read 8 books this month, around 2 a week! This month I’ve started getting back into reading fiction slowly. There were some really great reads and some I felt were a little disappointing. Making Faces and Fully Functioning Human  were two of my favourites and reviews this month!

 

General

And down to my general choices. I’ve spent the month trying to meet up with friends or seeing family, so that I don’t spend all my time alone! This included friends from my time at uni, my godchildren and family. It’s also been a good month for deliveries including a haul from Typo and my Ginny Weasley Barnes and Noble exclusive Pop Vinyl, as well as my first Wizard World Loot Crate! I think the best part has to have been getting a visit from Ali, even if it was only for 28 hours  and baking for the guys on tour.

My Favourite Posts: 

Long Distance Love

23 Things I’ve Learned in 23 Years 

How Is My Mental Health Right Now?

Goodbye 22 – Looking Back on a Weird Year

Feminist Friday: 10 Things You Can Still Do & Still Be A Feminist 

Using Food as a Crutch

 

23 Things I’ve Learned in 23 Years

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Yesterday I turned 23! I’m determined to make this a good year for me and already have some really exciting things planned but it made me think, what have I learned in the past 23 years on this planet? Well, here it goes…

You know your body better than anyone

There have been so many times that I’ve felt something wasn’t right and after being persistent with my doctors or consultants have been proven right. Listen to your own body and don’t be embarrassed to get a second or even third opinion.

You’re allowed to change your mind

I’ve changed my mind on so many things. It’s all part of growing up, adapting and changing. This isn’t always a bad thing! In so many situations you can and will change your mind.

Feminism is incredible 

Just like I said above changing your mind is allowed, I completely changed my mind on Feminism as I got more educated. It’s such a brilliant thing promoting equality, which is why I started my ‘Feminist Friday‘ series.

Everyone makes mistakes 

And that’s ok! It’s definitely a part of growing up. I am still a perfectionist and really struggle when I make mistakes so I have to remember this, almost on a daily basis.

Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever 

This was so hard but I’m a firm believer in this. Some people are meant to be around for a reason and then go.

Fun is what you make of it 

Sometimes I just like grabbing some dinner on a Friday night, others I like going out for a drink, others I like getting an early night. Fun is different for every person! Own it 🙂

Should is a shitty word 

I HATE the word ‘should’. Why is it even a thing! It just stresses us out, no, no, no, no.

 But No is a great one 

I’m still not great at using the word ‘no’ but it’s a powerful one and one to learn how to use.

Me time is so important

It’s not selfish. We all need some time to ourselves and that’s good for you! Personally, I like to curl up and read, write, watch YouTube whatever I feel like!

No one has the right to make you unhappy 

No one at all, whether that be family, friends, partners, colleagues. I spent too long letting other people impact my happiness, no more.

Mental Health is as important as physical health! 

Repeat, repeat, repeat!

If you don’t ask you don’t get

The worst someone can say is no.

How you see yourself isn’t always how others see you 

I’m not always the nicest to myself, think about the way your friends and those who love you see you. Trust me.

A good book is priceless  

Very few things are better.

Sleep is important, not overrated  

It’s so important to get enough sleep. For me if I don’t get enough sleep I feel really poorly. So, to all who tell me sleep is for the weak, I’ll be in my Harry Potter PJs, snuggled up under the duvet.

A few good friends are worth more than  loads of acquaintances

I used to want to be part of a huge friendship group, then I realised I didn’t really want or need to be. What I did want was to have friends who knew and loved me.

Saving money is important but so is treating yourself sometimes 

I saved constantly through uni and was obsessed with saving. It was also driving around in a car from 1996 that I thought would go on forever. Thankfully my family convinced me that maybe it was time to let go and use my savings to buy another car…

The voices in your head don’t always tell the truth 

They can be your worst enemy, don’t listen to it.

Let go of the rigid life plan 

I had a plan, I had a perfectionist plan. I was going to graduate uni with a first, come out and get a good job, save for a house, get married, have children. Then life happened. I broke my spine and that changed everything. I lost my job, that changed everything. I got a job I loved, everything changed again. I’ve let go of a rigid plan and have goals instead.

Find exercise you love, you’ll thank yourself later 

I was always adamant that I hated exercise. I hated PE at school and thought I’d never like exercise. Then I found horse riding and I fell in love with it. Now, post injury,  I quite like the gym.

It’s ok not to be ok 

I will keep saying this until I’m blue in the face, I even wrote a whole blog about it. You can read it here.

There is nothing wrong with a good night in! 

I go ‘out out’ once a month. I save money and get to stay in my PJs, what’s not to love here?

No one really knows what they’re doing

This is the most important lesson. Everyone is winging it, absolutely winging it.

 

Book Review: Fully Functioning Human (Almost) – Melanie Murphy

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‘I’m just a girl who’s sort of stumbling through life, learning that we all have our own roads to walk – but that it’s still valuable, and rather lovely, to hear about other people’s journeys…’ 

Well, well, well, where do I start when I’m talking about this wonderful book and it’s even more wonderful author. If you didn’t know, Melanie is a Youtuber and a damn good one at that talking about life and sexuality, body positivity, Game of Thrones. So when I heard she was releasing a book I was all over this.

This book covers so much in a mere 300 hundred pages but the best part is that it feels like she’s chatting to you. This is totally in Melanie’s voice and it helps because it’s like a friend is talking to you and chatting about life, the good and the bad.

The book is divided into sections Media and My Mind, Food & Body, Beauty & Confidence, Sex & Sexuality, Love & Happiness. You can tell that in each of the chapters Melanie has poured her heart and soul into each page, without it being soppy.

While of course it has Melanie’s signature positive outlook, something which she credits partially to the Law of Attraction ( I LOVED this) but it doesn’t hide the darkness and I think that’s what I loved most, the openness. All of her struggles and flaws are laid out, to make you feel like we’re all going through the same thing. She talks about her struggles with Eating Disorders, Anxiety, Depression, Acne and also about deeply personal things such as her miscarriage.

I felt there was a perfect balance within the book of the silliness I love Melanie’s channel for and the openness. I didn’t it would impact me as much as it did, but thanks to Melanie I confronted one of my own personal issues, emotional eating  and now I’m taking steps to not use it as a crutch.

This is an incredible book, whether or not you watch Melanie I would recommend this to any young adult who wants to feel like they’re not the only one struggling along. I would also recommend catching up with her Youtube channel . I gave this four stars ****, Melanie is a brilliant writer and I can’t wait to see what she does next.

World Suicide Prevention Day 2017 – Tips for Tough Days

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It’s World Suicide Prevention Day 2017, each year it’s something that I dedicate a post to because it’s important. The fact that we need a day for suicide prevention shows something. We live incredibly busy lives, we’re constantly going, going, going, looking at the world around us and having 24-hour news and updates on the good, and bad in the world. It can all get a little too much. When you’re at your lowest ebb, and suicide seems like an option, it’s hard to know what to do to help, if there is any help at all when you’re slowed down struggling to cope while the world seems so fast. So, for this year I wanted to share some tips, for the days when everything seems too much.

Know that it’s ok to unplug

I love social media and growing my following BUT, sometimes it’s too much. To see other people seemingly having a great time when you’re not feeling great it’s ok to switch off for a while and turn off your internet and just be.

Speak to, or be around, people that love you 

This is so important. It doesn’t matter who these people are, but it can help to be cared for in the smallest of ways.

Get some natural light 

Hear me out. I’ve been in those times where my mind tells me to just lie in the darkness and just sleep, mainly when I was living alone at uni. When you get up, open the curtains or try to go outside for 10-15 minutes. Natural light can really do you good. If not you can get a lamp to replicate light, which also helps with SAD (Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder).

Try and do something you enjoy 

I know it can be really hard when you’re in the darkest parts of depression but even a little something can make you feel a little better. Maybe listen to an album you like, do something creative, cook? Whatever you feel up to doing. I, personally, try to listen to some music or write.

Allow yourself to cry 

My boyfriend is on tour right now, it’s tough. For the past week I’ve been trying to keep myself busy all the time, every evening pushing my mind and my body to distract myself. Yesterday I finally let myself acknowledge that I was missing him and had a good old ‘ugly cry’, didn’t set my alarm and just slept for as long as my body needed.

Know it’s ok not to be ok 

I wrote a whole post on this a while back, it’s ok not to feel ok. It’s part of life and if you have a mental illness it’s a part of life you know all too well. We have down days, sometimes we relapse, it’s all part of recovery.

Know that someone loves you

It can be so hard to remember this. Someone in the world loves you, so much. You’re worth this life. I promise.

If you need any help or are feeling suicidal please, please talk to someone. In the UK you can contact the Samaritans, they can talk things over with you on 116 123. If you feel like you’re in immediate danger of harming yourself please call an ambulance.

How is my Mental Health right now?

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As I write this, I realise I haven’t really been writing about myself and mental health, not for a while! We’ve gotten to September already and while we’ve still got 3 months of this year left, it feels like 2017 has just been a bit of battering for me and my old mind. Actually, if I’m honest since my accident in 2015 it’s been a bit of a struggle but in terms of this year, how about a bit of an update?

Back in April, I lost my job as most of my regular readers know. At the time it was the worst thing what could have happened in my mind. My depression became unbearable and after 5 and a half months at the company where I was incredibly unhappy and then being let go out of the blue meant that my confidence was shot to pieces. Even when I had a job offer for temporary work I was in a constant anxious state that I wasn’t good enough, that I’d be let go again and I was just an awful human being.

After applying for job after job while temping and not getting jobs, I decided I’d had enough. I was sleeping better at this point and not doing the long drive, so, mentally I was better than I had been since the year before, yeah that long. In my mind, a job was a job and you didn’t leave no matter how much you hated it (this is the worst thing I could have thought). This time I wanted to work for a company permanently that I enjoyed, in a great atmosphere and not too far a commute. So I did what I needed to do I researched and I called around, which eventually meant getting my current job that I love.

In all of this I felt like, mentally, I was on a tight rope. I needed something to come through, to prove to my ‘Mind Goblin’ wrong, that I wasn’t awful and I wasn’t useless and I could do a good job. I was right, the Mind Goblin was wrong. That was that, everything was going to be great. So I got the job, I went on holiday. I forgot to take my medication in the sunshine and had a drop on holiday, but within a day or so I was back on form.

The last 2 months of my job have been incredible, overwhelming and a boost. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still had anxiety attacks, I’ve still had the usual good days and bad days because that’s a part of my life and a part of my condition. Being more content doesn’t mean it disappears or that the ‘Mind Goblin’ doesn’t appear sometimes trying to take over my mind. I’m not writing this to tell you I’m fine and perfect but I’m taking it day by day. Which is all anyone who lives with a mental health condition can do.

As I write this I’m experiencing my first time as a ‘Tour Wife’ while Ali goes across the country with work. It comes with its own challenges, mostly loneliness and not having anyone to talk to when my Mind Goblin creeps out and I have to fight him away on my own. Or maybe not on my own. I’m lucky to have some wonderful friends, family and a great set of colleagues to chat to and to have for company.

Basically, it’s been good, bad and ugly but I’m getting there.

Sunday Seven: Ways to kick anixiety’s butt!

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I know that sometimes, it can feel like you don’t have anxiety, you are absorbed by the sneaky bugger. Right now, I’m pleased that I’m managing my anxiety, but now and again, of course, I have my moments where I wonder if I’ll feel ok again. It’s on these days it is that little bit harder here are 7 things you can do.

Write a list of things you need to do 

Only what you need to get done, don’e be consumed by something you need to get done tomorrow or next week. Break big tasks down and take it day by day.

Be kind to yourself

When I’m in an anxious state, I know most of the time that it’s not logical. That there are things I’m anxious about that I don’t need to be or I’ll beat myself up over small things. Know that you’re just having a bad day, it will pass.

Get some light in!

Natural sunlight is a great mood booster even five minutes can help you out so open those windows.

Make sure you have contact with positive people 

It can be really hard, particularly if your anxiety means you want or need to be alone but make sure that you can contact people who make you feel comfortable.

Do something you enjoy 

Read, watch a TV show you love, colour do something you enjoy that you’ll find relaxing.

Express how you feel!

Only you will know the best way to calm your anxious mind but don’t bottle it up. For some doing something creative will help unleash how you feel, for others making something or solving a problem. Whatever works, you do you!

What are your tips? Let me know in the comments below!