Hello there lovely readers,

If any of you follow me on Twitter (it’s @chloemetzger if you don’t) you will know that recently I’ve been devouring Melanie Murphey’s Fully Functioning Human (Almost). Melanie is a Youtuber and has recently become an author, I absolutely love her videos and just generally her positivity as well as honesty. I bought the book because I thought it would be good, I didn’t guess it would make me confront myself about my eating habits.

Recently, I found out I have a B12 deficiency, although it’s not through diet it did make me think about how I can increase the vitamin to supplement my treatment. So food was already on my mind. The chapter I was reading happened to come at the right time. I’d had a tough day at work, Ali was away in rehearsals, I’d had injections and I was just down and a bit lonely, I went and got a McDonalds including McFlurry on the way home. You guessed it, I’m an emotional eater.

I’ve never addressed my eating habits on this blog, how my mental health and eating are connected. I’ve had it in the back of my mind for a while that my emotions are a big part of what I eat. To put it simply, food makes me feel better. I know that if I’m having a bad day popping into my local supermarket and buying a big bar of chocolate will cheer me up. That said, I overcame these feelings before I graduated! I picked up on what I was doing and cut down.

It’s so easy to make a small treat turn into something really unhealthy. For example, I LOVE Chocolate Eclairs, they’re one of my favourite cakes. When you go to the supermarket a pack of 4 can be as little as £1, whereas buying one from the counter is £1.50. The same goes for sweets, a ‘share pack’ is £1 whereas and individual bag is 70p. So we convince ourselves we’re getting a better deal, then we eat it. It makes it so much harder when you’re trying to live a healthier lifestyle.

I’m about to face a challenge in my life as Ali goes away for 2 months. I also know that in the past year I’ve neglected myself and let unhealthy habits creep back into my day to day as a way of coping with any lows or loneliness. So that I don’t feel down on a Friday night and order a Pizza and Garlic Bread just for myself and then feel gross afterwards. I don’t want to go and buy up all the offers on sweets or biscuits or crisps to fill any sadness.

So, I’m going back to basics like I did when I was first recovering from my broken spine. I’m cutting back and not buying foods I know I will eat in one go but I’m not cutting anything out completely. I’m going back to the gym and trying to get up to two or three times a week. And finally, when I feel the urge to go and stuff my face, I’m going to try and distract myself. I’m going to write or read or call a friend. I’m determined to do this.

This is me last week, let’s see where we are in 2 months.

Have you ever struggled with using food as a crutch? Let me know in the comments below!