Tag: love

Meet Noodle and Hamski

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After months and months of me begging, pestering and pleading with Ali I finally got a yes. Not to a wedding proposal, to something much cooler. I would like to announce the adoption of Noodle and Hamski, my two Russian Dwarf hamsters. Some people announce babies…I announce hamsters.

Ali and I have joked about having hamsters for years and calling them Noodle and Hamski, I don’t even remember how that started! We’d had a few discussions for the last year about them and I always got told no,no,no. As soon as he changed his mind I was in a car and down to Wimbledon to pick out my two. Initially I chose the other two but as I put my hand in for them to sniff it was Hamski who came up to me so there was one. The other two kept running away and although Noodle was pretty nervous, eventually I got my second. That’s what I do with animals, if there is more than one I let them choose me, it was exactly the same with Lottie she licked my hand and she was ours for keeps.

They’re lovely little things and already have their own personalities, Hamski is braver and more friendly, Noodle runs like a mad thing but doesn’t like humans that much…apart from Ali for some reason. That said in the car Hamski would not stop making noise and scratching at the boxes, I think that one is going to be trouble.

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Noodle

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Hamski chilling

I’m so excited and you can all expect to see lots more hamster updates soon!!

6 things about my amazing Nanna

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Mum and Nanna last christmas

As much as I wanted a charmingly embarrassing picture of me and my Nanna from when I was little, I think they’re all been hidden, she’s pretty glam my Nan. So today is her 65th birthday and I could write pages and pages about this lovely lady I wanted to do one for the 6 and a half decades she’s been on this planet.

1. I don’t know anyone who loves pink more! 

If in doubt, go with pink. That’s just Nanna’s way.

2. She was able to put up with The Jungle Book and 101 Dalmations on repeat. every.single.day. 

So after I was born my Mum and I lived with my grandparents until I was almost 3 years old, while my Mum had to go to work I’d stay with Nanna. She must have watched those two films so many times and half memorised them that along with Tots TV, Come Outside, Noddy and so many more. Oh and there were farm trips too 😀

3. When I was younger she could make me fall asleep within 5 minutes 

Stroking my face and giving me a cuddle and I was out like a light…could still work now to be fair.

4. She’s a great peace maker

Every time I needed new school shoes, Nanna had to come because we NEVER agreed. While me and Mum would almost start world war 3 in the Clarks kids section, Nanna somehow smoothed it over before coffee and cake after.

5. She knows me a lot better than most people

I’m not girly unlike my Mum, Aunt, Sister and Cousins but that doesn’t mean that Nanna doesn’t know what I’ll like. We might not agree on clothes (in fact we rarely do) but Micheal Kors handbags and designer watches? Nanna knows me all over!

6. She’s the best Nanna you could ever ask for

And I mean that too, there is absolutely no one else like my Nanna. She’s there, always, she can damn stand up for herself, she’s strong, she’s kind and I’m sorry guys but she’s mine.

Happy Birthday, I love you so much xx

Disney love

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Like most little girls I wanted to be a princess at some point. I also wanted to be a cowgirl (well that one nearly came true) but more than anything I wanted to sing. It’s safe to say that growing up I loved Disney. As a toddler I had to have 101 Dalmations or The Jungle Book on at every meal. I went to Disneyland Paris 4 or 5 times because when I was little it was really cheap to do a coach trip to Paris, I went with my Mum, Mum and Aunt, Mum and Cousin, Mum and Dad….possibly twice just be and Mum. So you could say that by the time I started school I was a Disney pro.

I’d have the CDs on every day at home and would dance and sing to myself in the dining room or on my Mums bed, which I’d pretend was a stage. By the age of about 7 I’d earned the nickname of the Little Mermaid because I would sing non stop and could only  swim underwater…for some reason I couldn’t grasp swimming on top of the water, even now I’ll only swim on top of the water if I really have to.

Even now, I know the words to the Tangled song, have seen Brave, Wreck it Ralph (which was one of the best Disney films ever I have to say) and have the Frozen soundtrack on my laptop.

Everyone needs a little Disney now and again 🙂

5 Reasons my Mum is the absolute BEST. 

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I’m sure it comes as no surprise to you guys that I think my Mum is absolutely incredible. Well, that’s because she is. Mumma Metzgie as my friends call her is an absolute gem and I wanted to write this post about her because she deserves it!

1. She never lets me down

Never, ever, ever. From day 1 and I don’t think she ever will.

2. She’s the strongest person I know

She’s been through a lot of crap, she was the first person I’d turn to when I was bullied because she’d been there and she really hold our family together. It’s hard to explain but she’s just so bloody strong and calm ❤

3. She can drink most people under the table and down a pint.

My Mum is still going out with her friends on nights out and is amazing drunk, so, so much fun. It probably helps that she looks 10 years younger than she is as well.  

4. Life is never boring with my Mum

She’s almost always laughing at something. Mum is the biggest kid you will ever meet, to the point where her favourite place in the world is disney world and she plans to dress up as Elsa or Ana for Halloween in Disney World. Sometimes I get too stressed and serious but Mum always manages to get me to relax and have fun…although I’m still hesitant over a night out with her. All my friends love her and most of the guys think she’s attractive. You go mumma, go!

5. She’s never given up on me.

She hasn’t always had it easy being my Mum, but she’s never given up. Going to meeting after meeting, dealing with me when I’m having a meltdown, talking to me constantly when I need it and when I was younger she really fought for me. I am who I am because of all of this, my Mum believed in me no matter what

Happy Mother’s Day Mum, you really are the best.

No People Club are awesome.

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No People Club Stoke LiveI’m good at shamelessly plugging my band. Really good at it and I think that’s because I’m so proud of it. We’ve got a good sound, good reception at gigs and we’re going to be playing so many shows soon that I just have to share them all with you. We didn’t win battle of the bands today but we’re still pretty awesome. So come and see us, like us on Facebook and Twitter and stuff. This band really is my baby.

Hannafords Bar – 27th Feb

229, London – 7th March

The Sanctuary, Basingstoke – 14th March

The Green Door Store, Brighton – 25th March

The Fighting Cocks, Kingston – 26th March

RMA Tavern, Southsea (Portsmouth) – 9th April

Sticky Mike’s, Brighton – 28th May

The Star , Guilford – 19th June

More To be announced…

Come and see us!

http://www.nopeopleclub.com

@nopeopleclub

facebook.com/nopeopleclub

10 things that helped get me out of a low mood (and hopefully can help you!)

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Ok so I disappeared yesterday because of a pretty crappy low (yay, depression). Now I’m back and I’ve been looking after myself for the past 2 days now I want to share 10 ways to help when you’re on a low. These help for me, hopefully they will for you as well!

1. Take a shower or bath

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When I used to have a REALLY bad low, before I was diagnosed my Mum would always send me to the shower to calm down. Now when I have a low it’s always the things she recommends first. I don’t know why but water has always made me feel calmer.

2. Be comfortable

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When you’re feeling particularly rough you do not need to wear super tight skinny jeans. Today and yesterday were comfy jumper and jean days. Also at night make sure your comfortable with some good PJ’s and an early night, even if you can’t sleep being able to relax will help.

3. Take some time to think about what YOU need right now

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Do you need sleep? Do you need to go for a walk? Be around friends? Work out what it is you want and need to make yourself feel even a little bit better. I’ve had plenty of days where for the morning I had to be alone but later my friends made me feel a lot better. It’s a personal thing and taking baby steps if you need to.

4. Talk it out or write things down

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Some of my best songs have come from horrible moments. Writing or talking, generally just getting it out of your system is healthy. Of course there are other ways too, some people do art or sport, whatever works for you.

5. Eat some good food

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Screw the diet. Comfort food is the best. For me a bit of chocolate and a good cup of tea can really make all the difference.

6. Get some natural light

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10 minutes of sunshine is proven to boost Serotonin levels, even if it’s overcast try and go outside. I know what it’s like when all you want to do is lie in the dark and forget everything. When I feel like that and just want to be alone I walk to my local shop, it only takes 5 minutes and I don’t talk to everyone

7.Exercise

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When I used to hear this I used to get irritated, why if I didn’t want to get up would I want to exercise? I know by now that just being around the horses lifts my mood and going riding is great to make me have a more stable mood, it gives me something else to think about. I can’t ride every day though, so Sunday I decided to head to the pool (the only other exercise I can stand) I only done half an hour but felt much better.

8. Put yourself around people who make you feel happy

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It usually takes me a little while to get to this part. For the first part of my lows I normally want to be alone but gradually I’m ok being around people. Moving in with Ali was a hugely positive part of getting better since moving to uni, sometimes I’ll see friends or text my mentor to see her but I almost always phone my Mum to talk things over. Support is always key.

9. Have a little treat

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If I’m sad and go wandering I usually buy myself a little something partly to cheer myself up and partly because I left the house, because sometimes that’s the absolute worst part. It’s usually just something small, a bar of chocolate, cupcake or a book, whatever money I have spare really.

10. Don’t be so hard on yourself

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Everyone has good and bad days, depression or not. Don’t blame yourself if you’re out for a day or even longer, just work through as best you can and don’t beat yourself up!

Evening thoughts

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I want to write every day. I’m not as good at it as I used to be, partially because I spend time outside doing things rather than staring at the same four walls nearly every night. I don’t know how I feel right now. I don’t feel great but at the same time I don’t feel depressed, just deep in thought about anything and everything. Ok that’s not strictly true, I’ve thought a lot about depression tonight.

I can’t go into detail, nor would I want to, but hearing about a young girl who is being bullied and even slightly thinks about ending her life isn’t ok with me. Ok so she might not be serious about it, but you never know. My sister’s at an age now where a lot of her friends have issues, at the age where people are very likely to develop things like depression, self harm and eating disorders. Being a teenager is so confusing and worrying and really bloody stressful.

It’s known on this blog that I have depression but I suppose on here I don’t go into detail about some of my history, it doesn’t hurt any more but I guess I want this to be a positive blog and well, it’s a very long and negativemy part of  past. I had Ali who I’m sure already knows how important he was to me in helping me carry on in some of the worst times. I still have times when I completely break down, where I scream and I can’t breathe and everything just gets a little too much… He picks me up and let’s me cry until I’m ready to talk about it.

It’s not just Ali that have seen these meltdowns (which used to be a lot more frequent), my family did and I worry the most about my sister. I wonder how she would have turned out if she hadn’t experienced me being so ill and I think that’s the hardest thing to face, that she was so young when I was so ill. I have to say though I’m so proud of her, she’s growing up to be an amazing person, she’s caring and intelligent and knows she can talk to me about what’s going on with her or her friends.

The older she gets the more she’s exposed to and that terrifies me. I wish I could just wrap her up and run so she doesn’t have to know about how hard people hurt sometimes and what can come of it. I’m as honest as I can be with her, she’s still only young, and I answer any questions she has best as I can. My main thing is that I want her to be happy and to be ok, I never want her to hurt like I did. I know my family are great, she’s in good hands but I don’t know it’s a sisterly protection thing I think. She has our parents and family but it’s like I need to know she’s ok, I need to know when she’s sad and how to help. We’ve got a good relationship, great even, and I couldn’t live without her, when I moved I think she was the person I was most worried about leaving home and part of that was out of fear and panic, all I could think is What if she turns out like me? Like in some way I’d be responsible and yes to a point I do panic that her seeing me the way I was is going to affect her in some way.

It’s not only her it’s my family, Ali. When you’re really ill you just feel guilt all the time and the better I get the easier it gets to not blame myself, to actually believe that I was ill, not horrible. I was difficult and upset, but to them all I’m eternally grateful. I like to think that with every little triumph for me my family are there with me and now the friends who I’m opening up around.

So there are my thoughts for tonight. I don’t know if they make sense, I don’t care about the grammar, the punctuation. Sometimes you just need have to write.

A little message to my friends

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There is something about song lyrics, especially those other people have written that makes it so much easier to express myself. I’ve been reflecting a lot lately and so instead of writing a funny post or a list I wanted to write, well, straight from the heart. There are many amazing people in my life, people who are not my family but I know they’re there for me, I like to take the time sometimes to tell them this. So here we go, if February is the month of love there are a lot of people who I’d like to declare it for, so in no particular order.

Jordan

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       Next year it will be 10 years,I think, since you moved all the way to Australia packed with a teddy and drawings. I remember the tears, the worries, the long emails as we started to grow up without being next to each other. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard. From ‘stealing’ you when we were 7/8 to now when we’re both in our 20s (gulp), you’re now as much of an old woman as me! You’re always there, even when we haven’t spoken in weeks, we don’t need to. You were always proud of everything I achieve and for that I’m eternally grateful. I love you and I’ll come see  you as soon as I can, Happy Birthday. 

Lucy P 

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Hey Frizz, god what an awful nickname. You gave me one of the greatest things in my life a beautiful goddaughter who I can’t help but love and reminds me of you so much. We’ve fought…a lot, time and time again but somehow we always end up stuck with each other, even more now that the princess is involved. We get to freak out about getting all old and laugh at everyone who used to pick on us at school (oh what fun!). Thanks for not only sticking it out but helping to give me a reason not to give up when things get tough, someones got to be a bad influence on your daughter 😉

Lucy B 

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Fellow emo, fellow panicker, fellow MCR addict. Out of our entire group at school you’re the only girl still around and we tend to turn into 15 year olds again whenever we’re around each other although by now we’ve replaced the eyeliner and lace skirts for jeans and vodka. You’re crazy, as much as me and I love you for it, next time we’re both around it’s a noodle date.

Eleanor

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Eleanor, Eleanor, Eleanor. I don’t even know how I can begin to explain how much I love you, you’re my partner in crime. You just seem to understand and most of the time you’re just on the same page…the other times I can count on you for a good debate. You give me a kick up the ass when I need it and then other times you’re the hug that I need. Oh and we laugh, we laugh so bloody hard when we’re together, even when we’re supposed to be being deadly serious, but I guess that’s what makes the library sessions so great. You’re my cheerleader and I hope that I’m the same for you. I love you so, so much.

Daniela

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‘I can’t even’, just can’t even imagine my life without you in it. It’s thanks to you that I now have some of the best friends I’ve ever had in my entire life. You’re so sweet and thoughtful as well as being my favourite dizzy blond and always there for a cuddle. I can’t thank you enough and I don’t think I ever will for inviting me out last year even when I was so quiet and probably a little bit weird. Now you’ve got me going out, doing shots and actually being a little social butterfly like you! If you hadn’t guessed by now I love you so much.

Amy

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Amy! You’re crazy enough to get onto a horse with me. You may be quiet but that doesn’t mean I forget you, you always make me laugh with some of the things you say and I can always rely on you for long term relationship advice. You share my old soul too, loving books and tea, although I have to say you’re damn brilliant when we go out together, those moves are damn fab! I loves yoooou

Maisha

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I swear I lose you every week titch. The only human being I know who is so small, which I think is why you disappear but it doesn’t matter because when we are together we are always laughing at the most stupid things. I love you!

Laura 

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I don’t have a picture of us but this is my first lesson! 

Who else would let me near their horse and trust me not to race off and get lost! We’ve only been friends this year but I’ve learnt so much from you. You’re definitely my coach when it comes to riding and just the sweetest person I’ve ever met. You always encourage me, even when I just can’t get a lesson to go how I wanted it to. I can’t wait to go on a hack together, let’s hope I don’t fall off! I love you!

Summer- Rose

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Ok so I cheated with this one, she is my sister, but she’s also my best friend and the one person I can rely on without question for the rest of my life. I’ll keep this short due to the cheating but you’re cute and a madame and when I grow up I want to be just like you.

Rhys, Dan, Ben, Ali

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You’re all special to me, individually but it’s as a group that I feel most at home. We drive each other crazy and spend so much time together now, and well it looks like we’ll be spending even more together. Before I was in this band the thought of heading out on tour and playing every single month was really nothing more than a dream and then I met the four of you. So let’s,you know, take over the world and stuff

Joe 

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You drive me insane. Literally insane. Sometimes I don’t get you and other times I understand perfectly what you want to/ are trying to say. You’re miserable and grumpy but really you’re not, you’re damn soft…sorry I guess I just let that out! You were the first friend I had in this place and hopefully we’ll still be stuck together at the end of it. You’re my favourite art geek and definitely a Harry.

Ali

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Do I have to even write this? I’ll say it simply you’re probably my favourite human so I think I’ll stick around if that’s ok?

Relaxing with Rubey.

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I know for a fact that I’ve worked really hard this week, possibly a little at the extent of my health but I don’t regret it. After practicing 3 evenings, working one, going to uni, playing an AMAZING gig in central London and finally getting back all the sleep I missed yesterday, I wanted to do something today. Funnily enough my idea of relaxation had four legs and is almost double my height.

It’s no secret that since starting riding in October I’ve fallen in love with it, as well as the horses at the stable. For me it’s just a way of letting off steam, focusing on something else and learning. As soon as I walk in the stables I feel myself relax, no matter if I’m on a low mood or just having a stressful day. I’ve become one of those people I never used to understand!

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Getting kisses from Rubey 

I’ve been talking with Rubey’s owner since just before christmas, when I left her a note to say that her horse was lovely and I’d gladly help out. I finally got around to it today, realising that I needed to do something that relaxed me, even if it was hard work. Sapphire (Rubey’s owner) is a total sweetheart and really helpful, we spent today giving the horses hay, sweeping the yard and giving Rubey a groom which was the fun I needed to just relax.

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Although I didn’t ride today, helping out and hanging around the stables gave me an even bigger mood boost than waking up happy this morning did. I also realised I’m more confident, I’m starting to work out which horses do what, who I like to ride etc. I’m also lucky enough to be able to help out with a horse I adore and it seems she likes me back after some of the cuddles I got today. So once I’m a confident enough rider I can help out more and actually exercise her.

Hopefully this is a sign of a good week to come 🙂

Writer life.

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I’d love to tell you all that all I do in life is write. That would be lying. I wish I could get up in the morning, open my laptop with a cup of tea and write page upon, page of an amazing novel which will sell millions of copies. That said I do write every day on this blog, songs, lists, notes. The most important part of that is the song writing.

When I can’t deal with life and I’m spiralling or even if I feel really happy I pick up a pen, or my laptop and I just put the pain (or lack of it) onto paper. I have a box of old lyrics books, scribbled notes here and there and if you go through either my room here or at home you’ll find diaries, old stories and piles of lyrics. I don’t know why but writing to me is one of the most incredible and liberating thing. If I want, no one will ever see some of the things I have written or everyone could.

Do I want to write something that would be a best seller? Of course I do. I don’t know if it will ever happen, but I might try. I might end up sitting in the uni library in the silence for hours and come out with nothing worth reading to anyone else. It’s just for me.

The songs are a different matter. I put the words on to paper and everyone who comes to our shows will hear what I feel. Some songs, like Breaking Point, are something I came up with because of the people around me and then later people I imagined, other songs are entirely different. If you look at Good Enough, which I was immensely proud of, it was really personal and the newest songs that we’re working on are even more so. It’s taken a year for me to not feel sick when I sing the boys my ideas for the first time, because it’s so personal to me. I know how ‘artistic’ of me, but this is me pouring my heart on to a page.

I don’t know what it is but I wrote a post ages ago, life through my fingers, about how it was the only way to make myself feel better. I said playing Piano wasn’t like writing and it’s not but I was wrong in some aspects. When I write some things, like this, I just write whatever and that how almost every creative thing of mine starts, I don’t think too hard at first. That’s a trait that used to get me in so much trouble during Art lessons at school, nearly 5 years since my GCSEs and I’m still like it…and why I didn’t take Art any further.

Writing, in all it’s beautiful ways is tiring, frustrating, liberating…sometimes everything.