Tag: life

25 Get to know me questions

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My friend AshaOnline posted this a little while ago, I liked her answers so I thought I’d give it a go myself. Make sure you also pop over to Asha’s blog she’s just starting and has some really cool stuff!

Are you named after anyone?
First name, no, middle name yes after my aunt.

When was the last time you cried?

It’s a regular occurrence, I’m an emotional person

Do you have kids?
No, but I have a hamster who I love as much as a kid.

If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?
I think so, I’m a good friend.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Noooooooo. Does that give you an answer?

What’s the first thing you notice about people?
Their personality

What is your eye colour?
Blue

Scary movie or happy endings?
Happy Endings

Favourite smells?
Chocolate, fresh washing, outside post rain

What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home?
US of A

Do you have any special talents?
I can sing?

Where were you born?
Basingstoke

What are your hobbies?
Reading, Writing, Funko Pop collecting

Do you have any pets?
Just one, a hamster named Wickett

Do you have any siblings?One sister, she’s my fave.

One sister, she’s my fave.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Happy! That’s all that matters!

Who was your first best friend?

Kara
How tall are you?

5ft1. No, I’m serious.

Funniest moment throughout School?

Honestly, can’t think of one, school sucked

How many countries have you visited?

I want to say 6?

What was your favorite/worst subject in High School?

Favourite I was Drama, worst was PE and/or Maths

What is your Favorite drink? Animal? Perfume?

Tea, Hamster, Fantasy
What would you (or have you) name your children?

I have a few ideas but I’m not sharing them!
What Sports do you play/Have you played?

I’m not really a sports person, I used to ride but wasn’t on a team.
Who are some of your favourite YouTubers?

Carrie Hope Fletcher, Hannah Witton, Emma Blackberry, Cherry Wallis, Giovanna Fletcher, Cece from ProblemsofaBookNerd
How many Girlfriends/Boyfriends have you had?

Serious, 1.
Favourite memory from childhood?

Disney world!
How would you describe your fashion sense?

Comfortable but conscious of looking good.
What phone do you have? (iOS v Android?)

iPhone, always iPhone.

Tell us one of your bad habits!

Rushing.

Got any more questions? Let me know in the comments below!

I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING! (But nor does anyone else)

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Ah the life of a graduate, the new and exciting opportunities, meeting new people, perhaps travelling, isn’t it wonderful? Well, it would be if life worked out like that. Recently I was talking to a few friends of mine who are coming into the final part of their last year at uni (how it’s been a year since that was me I don’t know) and they had the normal worries of a final year. Worries about the deadlines and dissertations but most importantly feeling like you don’t have a bloody clue what you’re doing. So I let them in on a little secret, I don’t know what I’m doing and as far as I can work out nor does anyone around me, some are just better at pretending than others.

My graduate life is different to how I thought it would be, because working full time every day is hard. It’s a different kind of hard work to what uni was. This is a physical type of exhaustion, my whole body is tired as well as my mind. Do I think Uni prepares you for working full time? No, no it doesn’t. I loved the freedom and the independence of uni, working from home and working when I feel most motivated. When you’re working you have set hours, depending on your employer you might or might not be able to work from home, although I’m yet to meet a graduate who is working from home full time. The transition is hard, it’s not all bad, but it is hard.

There are so many days when I feel my head is spinning and I don’t have a clue that I’m doing. BUT out of everyone I speak to and I mean everyone (who’s willing to admit it), no one thinks they know what they’re doing. There are some people that feel more in control and some that are better at pretending they do.

I have days now where I wonder what I’m doing because my life hasn’t followed this detailed plan I had in my head. I didn’t know that I can to know what I want but roll with life at the same time! So don’t worry if you don’t know what you want to do, no one does!

7 Ways to take care of your mental health in difficult times

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There’s no doubt that we’re living through difficult times at the moment. We’ve seen 3 terror attacks in the UK within a few months and with every single one, the country feels a terrible sadness at the loss of life because of hate. While everyone feels the sadness, sometimes when you’re living with a mental illness difficult times can impact you in a negative way. So here are 7 ways to take care of your mental health in times like these.

Note: I am in no way neglecting that the people who are caught up in these attacks have the worst situation. This is not trying to overshadow them, rather to help others in times of what can feel like crushing helplessness. I’m sending all my love and thoughts to those caught up in the attacks of the last few months.

It’s ok to switch off for a while 

I read something that really resonated with me today ‘watching 24-hour news isn’t going to help anyone’. I so guilty of this. I get so absorbed and just have the news on repeat but it doesn’t help, it adds to the sadness and frustration. It’s also ok to come offline for a bit because it is constant and sad. That doesn’t mean you don’t care and it doesn’t mean you have no feelings but you need to take care of yourself too.

Know that feelings of hopelessness, anger and sadness are normal 

This isn’t necessarily your mental illness, a lot of people are upset and angry, this is normal! Although as we all know it can trigger deeper feelings too.

Talk to others 

Talking to others about events and how you feel can really help, knowing that others feel the same way too.

Look for positivity

It’s easy to look around and see all of the horrible things happening but try and look at the positives around you. Look for the helpers, look for the positivity.

If you feel you can help, then do 

You can donate, write or do whatever you can to help!

Remember that terrorist attacks ARE unlikely

We’ve had a lot recently but these are not something that happen every single day, it’s awful and horrific but these people want us to live in fear.

Know that it’s ok to still live your life 

That said if you feel the need to carry on and do what you would normally do then go ahead! Everyone deals with these situations in their own way.

❤

 

The Ideal Graduate Doesn’t Exist

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Do you remember what made you decide to go to university? Maybe it was because you really loved a subject and wasn’t quite done with it yet. Maybe it was because your family members or friends had gone and you decided that it was probably a good idea. Maybe it was because you were told that going to university was going to give you a boost, it was going to get you a job.

I’ll bet that most of us link to one of the three reasons, for me it was making me employable. I wanted to work hard, get the best grades and get a great job. I learnt from my parents that working hard and having your own money was important. I’d had a job since I was 16 and after a teacher insisted I look, my eyes widened with how much more you could earn just by getting a degree, it was a no-brainer, right?

So, here I am almost a year after graduating with a 2:1 degree and I’m not a top notch career woman yet, who knew? I’m currently temping in an office while friends of mine are working in retail, restaurants or anywhere they can get a job. All of us are asked what we’re going to do with our degrees or about career plans. The thing is just because you have a degree doesn’t mean that you’re failing because you’re not a hot shot at 22, something which can be a harsh reality.

There’s an illusion of the ‘perfect graduate’, something that isn’t real, usually, this person would have their own flat, a decent paying job that they love, flawless references, society activist. Overall, they are meant to have their shit together. Now, I don’t know about you but I’ve never met that person, I’ve never met them, so why was I striving to be that? No one in my family or loved ones had ever put that on me so where did it come from?

I could blame advertising, I could blame media or Social Media but I’m not going to waste time on that. We need to be kind to each other but more than anything we need, to be honest. Am I guilty of trying to make my Instagram feed look better my life picture perfect? Of course, I am. Am I guilty of comparing myself to others and wondering what I should be doing with my life? 100%.

I hope that if you’re reading this and have been feeling overwhelmed like me that this has helped.

What have you realised after graduating? Let me know in the comments below.

Book Review: The Princess saves herself in this one – Amanda Lovelace

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‘warning I: 

this is not a 

fairy tale.’

I had heard so much about Amanda Lovelace’s collection of poetry. It was hailed a feminist book young women had to read, that spoke the truth and recreated poetry for our generation. I completely agree with this statement. It took me a little while to get my hands on it but I haven’t regretted it.

I wouldn’t call this a happy read as such, but it is one of struggle and perseverance. It is one of not being saved but saving yourself. It chronicles an important stage in a woman’s life, one that I’m personally going through still, where you try and work out who you are and let go of certain people.

This chronicles Lovelace’s life and is split into four parts; The Princess, The Damsel, The Queen and You. Each part looks at a different aspect of Lovelace growing up, how she felt at the time, whilst at the same time keeping the fairytale theme.  I thoroughly enjoyed the transitions into each because it didn’t feel fractured or like it ‘had to fit’.

I hope this is a new beginning in poetry made for and by young people to enjoy. Whilst I can appreciate some of the classics, after all my favourite poet is Sylvia Plath, we need new and exciting poets such as Lovelace to introduce more young people to a new form of poetry.

I gave this a 5 star review. This was a breath of fresh air in poetry and incredibly well written. I look forward to reading more of Lovelace’s work and to see what she does next.

Dealing with the unexpected

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Sometimes life likes to surprise us, and not in the best way.

This time last week I was confused, distraught and wondering what the hell I was going to do. Last week I was told that I was no longer employed, that my contract was not going to be extended. This came completely out of the blue, for all I knew I was ready for my renewal meeting and things were going well. I left in a complete state of shock, how I drove home I’m not quite sure.

Like anyone who’s been in this situation before you go through everything in your head. I questioned everything I’d said or done, had I missed some warning signs? It was so out of the blue. After a few phone calls to Ali, my family and a few close friends I knew what I needed to do, I needed to find a new job. I was on the phone within an hour to contacts and agencies. By Thursday morning I was sat in a recruitment agency.

It’s been a week of emotional ups and downs, particularly as we lost Hamski a few days later. That’s the thing about life though, it doesn’t always play nicely or play fair. Within a few days, I’d spoken to a lot of people got some leads and felt better about myself. I realised that these things do happen and that it wasn’t because I was awful or terrible, I was unlucky this time.

In a week things have gone from feeling incredibly hopeless to being positive again. I realised that it might not be the worse thing. Now I can look for work closer to home so I don’t spend almost an hour commuting each way, because the drive was exhausting. I can meet new people and further my career, I need to fight to stay positive and see the good in this change. Speaking of which, I’m proud to introduce Wickett (named after the Ewok):

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So, let’s see what the rest of the month has to offer…

Hey, Life Is Hard Sometimes.

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Hey, Life Is Hard Sometimes

There’s no doubt that life is tough. It doesn’t matter who you are, or where you are, everyone has their own challenges day to day. For the last few weeks I’ve felt incredibly stressed, tired and have been in a fair amount of pain from my old injury. I’ve gotten to the point on more than one occasion where I’ve just wanted to walk away from everything and shout I’M DONE WITH THIS. Everyone has those moments, but that’s hard to remember when you’re in the middle of it.

I’ve found it really hard to focus, write blogs, read or just create things, honestly, I’ve just felt a bit run down, a bit exhausted. I know it sounds like I’m just writing this to complain, I’m not. I realised that sharing how I feel and my struggles are partly why people connect with this blog. I’ve found myself wistful for my days at uni, even though I know I had tough times there too and that going back wouldn’t be easy but I think having rose tinted glasses about the past is all too common. Of course, I don’t look back and look at the sleepless nights with deadline stress, the frustration of trying again and again to get an assignment right or choosing what to do when you leave.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that there are always troubles in each part of our lives. You never really know what a person is going through, what they’re thinking about. I try as hard as I can not to let what bothers me show to most people around me, with the fear of people thinking badly of me. It’s ridiculous and I wouldn’t suggest that to a friend. Most of it, I know, comes from me being one of the ‘high achievers’ my whole academic life, now I’m not in that environment anymore I find it hard to know when I’m doing well, to have a clear goal, because let’s face it getting 70 in an easy is a clear goal, sorting out your whole life and future in your 20s isn’t that straight forward.

I know this is a bit of a ramble, that it might not make sense. I just wanted to try and explain to you all how I was feeling, that in the words of Paramore ’22 is like the worst idea that I have ever had, it’s too much pain, too much freedom, what should I do with this?’ I have no idea what to do and I still feel like I’m finding my feet. I wonder every single damn day if I’m doing things right, what I should be doing next and if I’ll ever feel truly successful. Everything is hammering at my brain and it’s a little exhausting.

Things are going to happen as they happen I’ll keep plodding along, maybe one day it might even make sense!!

Sunday Seven: 22 and a half

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This week I hit 22 and a half, I know most adults don’t count their half birthdays, but firstly I don’t see myself as an adult and secondly I like using this as a benchmark to take stock of what I’ve done in half a year. I mentioned way back in January that I don’t like making New Years Resolutions, instead, I like to use my year birthday to birthday to see how things I have been going. So let’s take a look back and see what I’ve learnt in the past 6 months.

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You don’t need loads of friends to be happy 

Now I’m back in Basingstoke we don’t have as many friends around, but that really doesn’t matter. I still talk to Joe all the time, although it sucks I can’t just pop and see him. I also have Abbie and Ben on the other side of town. I have a lot smaller group of people that I’m in contact with but it’s really about the quality rather than the quantity.

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The pain of losing someone you love never goes away, you learn how to deal with it

A few weeks after my birthday I lost one of my hamsters. Although, to me they are my babies. Noodle passed away and it broke my heart, I still miss her each and every day and that never stops.

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I want to write, so I’ll goddam write 

Enough messing around, it was time to get serious, get planning and get on with it. We’ll see what happens…

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Having your own space is key to happiness 

We finally moved home! Having our own space has made it much easier for me to relax and have time to myself and Ali.

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It’s ok not to be ok. 

I have a problem with wanting to be perfect. I always have. In the last few months when things have gotten tricky I’ve had to remind myself that I’m allowed to feel tired or overwhelmed, that I’m human. So, I did what I always do and I wrote about it and it made me feel a lot better.

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Leaving a job that isn’t right for you doesn’t make you a failure

Back in November I left my first full-time job for a variety of reasons. I wasn’t happy there and didn’t feel like it was right. When I left, even though I had another job lined up, I felt like a failure because I hadn’t been there long. That said it lead on to bigger and better things and just because it didn’t work out didn’t mean I was a failure.

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Grades aren’t everything. 

For a good few months, I hid my degree certificate. I didn’t want people to know that I wasn’t perfect and didn’t get the first I’d been dreaming about. I hated mentioning it and whenever I did I’d follow up with ‘but I was only 3% off of a first!’ as if getting a 2:1 in literature was something to be ashamed of. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt but at the same time my life was a mess in third year, to come out at all with a degree is fine with me. It now happily sits on my desk while I write.

Life Update: We’re Moving!

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I spent the last few days moving boxes, going to IKEA and trying to sort out the piles and piles of books that I own. Yes! We finally have the keys to our new home. It’s taken a long time of trying to find a place that we liked, sorting ourselves out with jobs and security. We found this flat a few days after Christmas and have spent just under a month filling out paperwork, going through referencing checks, finding furniture and all that jazz. I’m so happy with our new home and can’t wait to make it 100% ours.

Sunday Seven: Things To Look Forward To In 2017

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Happy New Year!!!

Hello, lovely, lovely people and welcome to 2017! We’re almost a day in and I wanted to share with you some things I’m looking forward to in 2017. Now I’ve said before and I’ll say it again I don’t believe in new years resolutions, nope, nope, nope. I want to spend the whole year setting goals and I know for a fact that I find it harder in the dark winter months to be happy and motivated. So, instead, I focus on things to look forward to! So, here are 7 things I’m looking forward to.

A New Home 

This year at some point Ali and I will move into a new home. It means so much to us and we’re really excited!

Getting Stuck Into Work 

I can’t wait to get even more stuck in with my job, it’s a really exciting time for me. I’m in a company I love and a job I really enjoy, I can’t wait to see what this year brings.

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Carrying On With Spine Recovery 

In the next 8 weeks I should have an appointment for my spinal injections. While I’m absolutely terrified I’m also excited because it’s another chance at relieving the spinal pain I’ve been living with for the past 20 months!

Going on Holiday! 

Ali and I will finally be getting a relaxing break together later in the year, a week in sunny Spain. We haven’t had a relaxing holiday in years so it’ll be a nice time to chill out and spend some time together.

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Improving My Blog 

I’m really focused on my blog and this year I can really focus on it without university work taking up each and every evening. I have some great ideas and plans so keep an eye out!

Celebrating 9 Years 

Yes! The boyfriend and I celebrate 9 years together this year, which is crazy. I’m so lucky to have my best friend by my side every day.

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Caring For Myself 

I bought so much stuff from Lush in the sales, meaning I have a lot of bath products for relaxation purposes. I’m really bad at relaxing, I’m always doing something so I need to work on that but this year I can make that time for myself.

What are you looking forward to? Let me know in the comments below!