Tag: happy

Horses with Mum and Sums

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Me and my sister visiting Rubey 

Visitors today! Yippie! My Mum and Sister came to visit me on her day off school. So naturally I had booked a horse riding lesson for my sister, basically because she’s the only person apart from my friends brave enough to come with me!

It was so much fun and cheered me up to have them around and introduce both Mum and Sums to the horses, especially Rubey (that is how her name is spelt). I also had them watching me ride…although the horse I was on today was not in a good mood and was not happy to be around other horses. The best bit though? I finally came off the lunge and was controlling the horse on my own!!!! Yippie!

My sister, however, turned out the be a natural at horse riding. She did so well on Princess who I booked knowing that she’d be a good horse for her. I got more than a little excited when she started on a rising trot and started to get it, definite proud big sister moment.

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As usual I had to go and see Rubey after as well as before and she was so cuddly it was amazing. She has an absolutely lovely owner as well, Sapphire is brilliant with her and one of the sweetest kids ever, she certainly teaches me a lot when I help out at the weekends.

So that’s today, oh not to forget meeting up with Joe too!, my Mum enjoyed it  but she’s decided horse riding isn’t for her. All in all a pretty good day apart from Eleanor still being poorly but she’s never down for long!

I’m thinking of doing some more fun posts over the weekend and uploading anything I’ve missed!

January payday/meday

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Hello you lovely lot!

It may not seem obvious to you guys but I’ve had a lovely hair cut and I’m feeling better. I have been struggling a little and just feeling a little out of place, slightly but not too much luckily. So today I was feeling a bit off and irritated after seeing a poorly Eleanor (feel better soon El!) I trecked into town to have a browse…that became an expensive browse.

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I ended up getting myself a new jumper from River Island (£25.00), Elle magazine because well who doesn’t love Kiera Knightly, Humans of New York book (which I was BEYOND excited to find), some more books…which Ali doesn’t know about so shush! Basically it was pay day and I felt like I deserved the treat because I have been working hard and even if my attendance at uni has slipped I’m still trying and that’s the main thing.

So what else? Sometimes I worry about what I put on this blog, I wonder whether I should do more themed days or write what I feel or plan? I’m really not sure because I do want this to be a good blog and as ever if you have any ideas/things you like please,please,please! Tell me in the comments or tweet me, even email, I love hearing from you guys.
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January book haul…Oops 

I’ve also realised it’s nearly February, feels like it’s only just been christmas but whatever. So I have a lot going on, band wise it’s pretty quiet but other parts of my life not so much. I have assignments to hand in, birthdays to prepare for, reading week, lots of work, kerrang tour! It’s going to be an exciting month and hopefully a good one.

I realise I haven’t spoke too much about how I am right now and some of you are kind enough to ask. I’m doing okay, better than I was before christmas but still a little…unsure? I’m getting there though and the band is busier than ever, I’m on top of assignments so hopefully I’ll start to feel a little bit more relaxed and happier.

As always thank you SO, SO much for stopping by to read this 🙂

Relaxing with Rubey.

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I know for a fact that I’ve worked really hard this week, possibly a little at the extent of my health but I don’t regret it. After practicing 3 evenings, working one, going to uni, playing an AMAZING gig in central London and finally getting back all the sleep I missed yesterday, I wanted to do something today. Funnily enough my idea of relaxation had four legs and is almost double my height.

It’s no secret that since starting riding in October I’ve fallen in love with it, as well as the horses at the stable. For me it’s just a way of letting off steam, focusing on something else and learning. As soon as I walk in the stables I feel myself relax, no matter if I’m on a low mood or just having a stressful day. I’ve become one of those people I never used to understand!

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Getting kisses from Rubey 

I’ve been talking with Rubey’s owner since just before christmas, when I left her a note to say that her horse was lovely and I’d gladly help out. I finally got around to it today, realising that I needed to do something that relaxed me, even if it was hard work. Sapphire (Rubey’s owner) is a total sweetheart and really helpful, we spent today giving the horses hay, sweeping the yard and giving Rubey a groom which was the fun I needed to just relax.

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Although I didn’t ride today, helping out and hanging around the stables gave me an even bigger mood boost than waking up happy this morning did. I also realised I’m more confident, I’m starting to work out which horses do what, who I like to ride etc. I’m also lucky enough to be able to help out with a horse I adore and it seems she likes me back after some of the cuddles I got today. So once I’m a confident enough rider I can help out more and actually exercise her.

Hopefully this is a sign of a good week to come 🙂

No People Club play Central London!!!

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Outside while loading in

I’ve always loved London, even when I was little, tonight I got to play in one of the greatest cities in the entire world! We’ve been planning this gig in Piccadilly Circus for ages now, hence all the practicing this week and songwriting to try and get just one more finished in time, but we did it! We played, we got the crowd going and a lot of people wearing No People Club stickers, yippie.

It’s times like these where despite being exhausted after a full week and some crappy lows that I want to get on the road and get paid. I love my academics too but this was just something else. Thanks to some of our great friends and family we also reached our target number of people attending, although I don’t think I’ll ever live down my ‘stage dancing’ with my friends!

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A sneak peak of the unedited pictures that Sophie took! 

It really was an amazing experience, we even got some amazing photos out of it from Sophie Jones (Dan’s girlfriend), she’s a very talented photographer and I can’t wait for you guys to see the finished shots.

Although I definitely crashed when we got home (and I mean really crashed, 13 hours of sleep to be exact), I’d do it again…hopefully soon.

Thank you to everyone who came tonight, No People Club are on the up! 😀

Me time

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It’s no secret that most of the people around me know that I don’t relax. To me, being asleep is relaxing. If I’m feeling normal or on an excitable high I have to be doing something all the time. I work or write or sing or clean or read, I have to find something or I get bored quickly. I have, lately, gotten better at just doing things for me lately. I don’t know if it’s feeling settled and in control of my uni stuff or just after having a break at christmas but I can to an extent just sit back.

Don’t get me wrong I love my studies, some subjects are so interesting I could read and research all day being definitely keeno as Eleanor puts it. Over the last week or two though I’ve sat down and watched a film or read something just for me, thought about blogging more or tried to get some more lyrics finished. I’m still doing something but I’m doing it for me, rather than someone else. I’m not getting as caught up on work either, actually making sure I don’t spend the whole week working non stop, instead I go horse riding Wednesdays and I might work another day or two depending on what jobs are around and if I need the money.

It seems silly but I’m a little bit proud of myself for this, I’m a workaholic and I know I am. If I like what I’m doing I won’t stop, I’ll keep going and going and going until I crash. That’s the only downside to loving my job, degree and of course my music, I will sit for hours and not sleep as much as I should. So slowly I’m learning that me time is important too, even if it’s just one afternoon or evening and the assignments that are months away are not worth me stressing about.

Learning the ways of a horse rider!

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Me and Josh 

Once Laura told me that once I’d caught the ‘riding bug’ I wouldn’t be able to stop, it turns out she was right. So I didn’t miss a ride this week and because I haven’t seen her in two weeks, I travelled to Dorchester to see her and meet the famous Josh, the horse she loves and adores. After 2 hours on the train and quickly getting changed I was off to the stables to learn as much as I could in a day.

Firstly an uphill walk to get Josh and meet the other horses and walk him down, which was my job. He turned out to be a lovely and calm horse, although totally obsessed with Laura. We had a job ahead of us, Josh was covered in mud, and so three shampoo washes and a good grooming later Josh looked beautiful and finally had a white tail! We had to wait a while for the school but finally I was allowed to ride him. Josh was amazing! Walk, off the lunge, trot and finally I got to canter! My first canter! It is honestly the most fun thing in the world. It also needs to be said that Laura is an incredible teacher! Hopefully I can take some of these back and help out with the lovely Rubey!

I’m so lucky!

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I may be writing this a little intoxicated, well at least I was earlier but right now I feel so lucky, so very lucky. I’ve just gotten back from my last day of first semester and an amazing night out with my girls. Good food, great drinks and a lot of laughs. This time last year I was lonely, spending most weekends alone in my room and wondering what this was all about. Now I have a great time in class, brilliant friends, career ideas as well as carrying on the success of No People Club and being able to live with Ali. I feel so, so lucky right now.

Finally: Getting back to myself

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After a long few weeks of feeling, low, helpless and not myself I can say that I’m finally pulling through again! It’s been 5 days of solid steadiness and I couldn’t be more pleased, just in time for Christmas! My first realisation, Friday morning, as I was driving back to the flat I’d been awake for an hour where I had just gotten up, dressed and headed out, no anxious thoughts or dread I just, well functioned normally. While Saturday I was slightly off (from a lack of going outside waiting for damn parcels), I carried on and was ok and got on Sunday as well. The last two days I’ve been smiling to myself and humming christmas song and I’m so pleased I could dance around.

I’m not in the mind that I’m completely better, I’m still seeing doctors and mentors more regularly and I’ll carry on without complaining and not rush because when you go through a bad low, like I have been for the past 4/5 weeks it does scare you. I was terrified I’d never get back to this point where I could feel in control and I’d be stuck in sadness for ever, it’s horrible but once you’re starting to get better and have even a little bit of confidence you’re keen to make sure you don’t slip again. It’s a part of my life and I know I will probably slip again but I know I have great people supporting me.

I wanted to write to you all with this sense of amazement and happiness because I want to detail what’s real to live with mental health problems. For me these little victories mean the world, like no anxiety attacks. I’m back to chatting with people at horse riding, texting and seeing my amazing friends (who have also been angels) and being just easier to live with (although I say now I couldn’t have gotten through these last few weeks without Ali) and to top it all off I had band practice today! I just feel so much better after a good ride this morning (on a very tall horse) where I could feel myself becoming a better rider, then a long walk down Kingston Hill which I never done before but just made me feel refreshed.

If any of you are stressed or having a rough time at the moment, just take every day at a time and baby steps when you can. Lows totally suck, but they will go eventually with the right help.

Russell Howard round 2!

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Back to the O2 tonight for Russell Howard part two. This is my birthday present from Ali and although I’ve waited for three months it was definitely worth it. Russell is definitely my favourite comedian and he didn’t disappoint tonight, although I can’t say I loved the support act as much, it was Russell’s usual charm and interesting way to look at life that made me laugh non stop. As ever with Russell, and I won’t ruin the ending, but the ending was happy and left you with real happiness. Great birthday present 😀

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Hello Waffles, Goodbye skinny jeans!

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After riding today Amy and I decided it was about time we spent some time together and well it would be rude not to! It’s incredible, a small place on the high street with ice cream, waffles, cream, milkshakes. It’s at this point that I decided to say goodbye to my skinny jeans and embrace the beautiful desset goodness.

I needed this today because basically it was really not my day and I wanted to do was to curl up and mope even riding didn’t cheer me up as much as usual, but a good friend and chocolate covered food can go a lot way. Thanks Amy! 🙂