Getting serious – Hitting the Gym 2016.

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Yes I did it, I used a quote from Pinterest, in my defence I love quotes like this and will only post or pin them if I believe in them. Today was my first gym session of 2016, I went past yesterday and had a little inside groan. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to work out, it was because I was nervous about going alone. When I was in the hospital gym I at least had the trainers that I knew and then I got to know some of the other patients and then I went to the gym at home with my Gramps. I’ve never been to a gym alone. Still I paid the £5 for the day pass so that would make me go.

As soon as I had my gym clothes on I was back in the mind set and apart from a few little things (thinking I’d locked all my stuff away and couldn’t get back in, not having any change, generally looking totally new and lost) I was determined. Luckily I spotted someone with a Kingston Uni hoodie and nervously started talking, she’s called Alice and from that point we worked out together and chatted the whole time. Apart from being at the same uni we have a lot in common and I felt so relieved, although possibly I talked too much because you know it’s me.

I left with a pizza date, a new friend and an incredible sense of accomplishment. Honestly through talking and laughing I didn’t even notice that an hour have gone by and I needed to go home and shower before uni. Now, I am aching and pretty tired now but I’d happily go back tomorrow if my spine could handle it. Who know’s maybe one day my spine will be able to handle a lot more exercise, that’s the hope anyway. It’s honestly become a healthy addiction for me, I love it so much.

As for 2016, I’ve now paid for a membership and it looks like I have a gym buddy. I’m really determined to try and be fit and healthy this year. I know there will be times where my body lets me down and I will get frustrated but I’m going to keep going and hopefully I’ll be in a lot better shape this time next year. Plus, like the poster says I’m going to be going to bed tonight with satisfaction :).

My Year – 2015

It’s been a funny old year for me. I sit down to write this post and I don’t know what to think. My overwhelming feeling is at one end I’ve learnt a lot but at the other I’ve also had to deal with things I wouldn’t have imagined. I feel like next year is going to be a mixed year too, but hopefully not as painful. 2016 has a lot of new challenges lined up and if I’m honest I am scared but I’m also excited. For now, here’s a roundup of 2015!

January

I played my first show in central London

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Back in January the boys and I played our first show just around the corner of Leicester Square! We got a great number of people down and had a great time!

I fell in love with a horse

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At the stables I fell in love with Ruby. In January I started going to the stable at the weekends, grooming and spending hours just playing and stroking her.

I had a tough time, then treated myself

I struggled in January for a few different reasons and so I went and treated myself to some new bits and a hair cut. I started to listen to how I felt and what I needed to stay well.

I got to share horse riding with my sister

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I got to take my little sister horse riding! She loved it and it was great for my Mum and Summer to see me ride.

February 

I celebrated Harry Potter Book Night

Joe and I trekked into London for Harry Potter Book Night. It was so much fun to dress up, hand out with one of my best mates, meet the new illustrator and win a signed copy of Philosopher’s Stone.

I struggled and I swam.

While trying to look after myself I started trying to swim whenever I felt down, a big step for me.

I got told I was a ‘game changer’

I got filmed for a documentary that a third year student was making. I was called a ‘game changer’ which I didn’t believe but was really pleased with all the same 🙂

March

I couldn’t say goodbye…and broke my heart

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The beautiful Ruby was sold and I never got a chance to say goodbye and it broke my heart. She was such an incredible horse and I had an amazing connection with her.

I won a KU Talent award!

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I was up for two awards this year ‘Second Year of the Year’ and ‘Overcoming Adversity to Achieve’, which I won. I was so shocked because the category was so strong, I had an amazing night with my Mum and it was definitely one of the highlights of my year!

I became a President 

I became President of the Kingston University Horse Riding Society and won most improved rider for the year! It was a true honor and another great part to the month.

I fell in love with Sign Language again

Working with young people who were hearing impaired was a great experience and made me even more determined to work with disabled students at the university.

…I dropped my phone down the toilet.

Oh yeah, that.

April 

I had the best Easter

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I had such a fun family easter! We really had fun all together, my sister doesn’t look happy because for the first time in years I beat her at the egg hunt!

I went back to Durham!

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I was lucky enough to take a trip back up to Durham to see Ali’s grandparents for their anniversary. I absolutely love going up to Durham it’s beautiful and always relaxing.

I got my two babies

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I bought Hamski and Noodle home ❤ My two little fur babies came home together and although they were eventually separated they originally loved cuddling together! They also proved to be a much needed distraction in the coming months.

I fell off a horse…

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Yep, a simple fall meant my first ride in an ambulance. I was taken in, left in a hospital in the middle of nowhere and luckily had Laura with me. At first I was told I was fine and got back on a horse 3 days later…

May 

I found out that I had broken my spine

After 2 weeks of feeling really sore and then an MRI scan I found out that I’d broken my spine with further damage to other vertebrate, muscle, soft tissue and nerve damage. The 7 hours wait to find out what had gone wrong was just the start of a very long journey ahead.

I used a wheelchair for the first time

I cried a lot when I had to use the chair because I couldn’t walk. Luckily Amy came to get me so I didn’t miss out on our girls dinner before Alissa went back to the US. I ended up having fun and forgetting about the chair for a little bit.

I was part of a winning society!!

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I wasn’t in any fit state to travel so I had to cancel Prague with Dani and Eleanor. To keep my spirits up Amy and Laura took me to the society awards where our society won 2 awards!!

I got my first Spinal Brace

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My physiotherapist is an angel and made sure I had my brace before I flew to Athens. It was hot, sweaty and uncomfortable but it done the job, I was honestly just relieved to have some support for my spine!

June 

I went on my first international creative trip & my first holiday with just Ali (by accident)

What was supposed to be a solo trip to write became a couples trip when I still couldn’t walk! Ali and I ended up having a great time and I finally felt like a writer!

I got a dream job

I got my job as a Social Media Coordinator, one I applied for but never thought I would get. It’s honestly been one of the best jobs I’ve ever had and it was great having the responsibility!

I got a new tattoo!

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I couldn’t go to Foo Fighters in my wheelchair (it was cancelled in the end anyway) so I used the money to get a tattoo that was particularly meaningful then and still is now.

I bought a lot of books…a lot.

What else is a girl to do when she’s mostly stuck in the house?

July 

I said goodbye to friends again

I said goodbye to Eleanor and Maisha as they jetted off for a year of study in New Zealand! Proud friend moment!

I played Basingstoke Live!

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This was my first show post diagnoses. I had my own box, my brace had been taken off and there was a ramp for me. I don’t know how but I got through and it was a great show!

I got frustrated.

I quickly realised I had put on a fair bit of weight and couldn’t really leave the house, sad times.

I had my sister come to stay 🙂

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One of the highlights of my summer was having this munchkin stay with me and going to see Paper Towns early!

August 

I met Don Broco

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Acoustically beautiful and some really lovely lads,

I celebrated living with Ali for a year!

We didn’t kill each other even when I couldn’t move without him! He’s been amazing this year!

I went to my first book club

I got out of my comfort zone, met a friend and bought a lot of books!

I went to the Zoo with some little monkeys

Even though I had to use a wheelchair for our family day out and got rained on I had a great day spending time with family 🙂

I got addicted to comic books

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Damn you Joe, Damn you!

I survived second year!

Despite everything I got through second year with a 2:1 overall…5 marks off of a 1st!

September

I became a third year

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I got told I was medically shorter than last year!

If I wasn’t short enough, I was told after my CT scans that I have officially lost height and may never get full feeling back in my left leg. That said I also got told that I was healing nicely!

I went to Amsterdam

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A great 21st birthday trip with Dani and Amy! Amsterdam was so much fun and my back behaved itself which is a first.

I turned 21!

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I had an incredible 21st I was spoilt and just felt so loved. This was the handmade cake that my sister made me, I don’t think I’ve ever been given so much cake in my life!

I had a stall at Fresher’s Fair

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Rounding up new recruits for the society!

I watched Star Wars…finally 

Now I’m completely obsessed! This started the countdown to see the new film.

I got recording! 

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We got serious about the EP and I was able to record without a panic attack or doubting myself. A big win for me!

October 

I was mentioned in the New York Times

Just for mentioning the 5p plastic bag charge!

I met Katie Piper

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I met one of my idols, Katie Piper. We had a great chat, photos and talked about Hampshire where we’re both from. It was also amazing to get a message from KAtie written in my book, she really is a lovely woman.

I went to my first Comic-con

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I fell in love with Comic-con and bought a stupid amount of pops, spending the last of my birthday money. It really encouraged me to get creative for the next one in May.

November 

I tried to be classy with Joe

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McDonalds and Galleries…what more could you want.

I was allowed to go to the gym class!

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A big step in my recovery! 6 weeks of gym sessions proved my spine was healing the right way and I loved them.

I left the society

Unfortunately I couldn’t cope running the society. I had to step down immediately and spent a lot of the month after pretty poorly both mentally and physically.

December 

I got to meet Ed!

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I got to meet this adorable little man that now takes over my bed!

I saw Star Wars!

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I fell in love with the new cast and am now even more obsessed. Star Wars is the best.

I went to Olympia!

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Laura finally got to use her 21st birthday present and we went to Olympia Horse Show! Such an amazing day out and we’ll definitely be going again next year.

I had an incredible Christmas 

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No lows, family time, amazing gifts. A great Christmas ❤

I decided I wasn’t giving up…

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This year has had some huge challenges and I’ve gotten through them. There’s no doubt I’ve struggled this year a lot and there will be times next year where I’m ready to give up but I won’t.

Happy New Year to all of my lovely readers and thank you so, so much for all your support this year ❤

Kids and Christmas

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Lexi with one of her presents 

Today one of my FAVOURITE parts of Christmas celebrations happened. Every year me, my sister Summer, my oldest friend Lucy and little Lexi meet up to see each other and exchange presents. Summer plays with Lexi and Lucy and I get to catch up while they run around. Every time I see Lexi she’s shot up even more and she’s the funniest and cutest little kid ever (at one point picking out an Auntie card and handing it to me, so freaking cute).

I’ve written about how amazing it is to be a Godmother/Auntie many times. I’ve documented Lexi’s life through pictures on my phone and I will be doing that for many years to come. She loved the presents she got from everyone (the Belle soft doll in the picture is from the US, my Mum got it when she went earlier in the year) and this is the best reaction to presents. Kids being excited is one of the most awesome parts…I also get excited on a kid level….whoops.

As you all know I don’t have any human children of my own. BUT I do have hamster babies which I may have, sort of, spoilt when I went to the pet section of Wilkinson today. I have heard though from everyone I know with sprogs that when you have them christmas gets even more amazing because seeing their faces makes the day magical. I have to say just by seeing how Lexi reacted today I can understand how people say that, it was adorable.

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My fur babies 

Even though I’m 21 now and my sister is 14 we still get stockings and sent to our rooms early on Christmas eve so the house can be decorated for the day. We still wake up at stupid o clock in the morning, but now we take selfies while we wait, oh and we still get filmed opening all of our presents. Spending time with my sister, seeing Lexi and Lucy and just being home has got me so excited for Christmas now! I’m going to enjoy however long I have of being young, childless and acting like a big, excitable kid!

Starting December right!

It’s been a pretty positive start to the week and now the month, just what I needed! There’s been some really shitty parts to this year, especially in the last few months so I’m determined to send 2015 off in a positive year and look forward to 2016…even if I am a little bit terrified of it! I wasn’t feeling particularly great about today, I was anxious about my gym class because of the pain I’ve been having but it turns out I didn’t need to be. That said I was already in a good mood from last night after having a long and lovely Skype conversation with Eleanor, it’s hard with her being all the way in New Zealand but we’re making it work.

Of course today is December 1st (I know, how is it December already?!?) so it’s advent calender time but since I haven’t been back home in a while I had no advent calendar this morning…the first time since I was 1. Luckily Mum text me a picture this morning of a maltesers advent calendar all for me, yay! I also picked up Star Wars ones for me and Ali too because IT’S FINALLY STAR WARS MONTH AND MY TICKETS ARE BOOKED, AHHHHHH.

As always I trekked to the hospital for 9am *sob* for my morning gym recovery class. I’d had a rough week last week so I was lucky I could talk to Mum before going and try and get in a good mindset before going in, got mistaken for a student nurse (I wish!) and got told that ‘surely I still have time to grow’ after I complained I was so tiny… the people in the class thought I was in my teens. Of course the real reason I was nervous was pain but I tackled all the machines, including a new one, and I kicked butt! There is no better feeling for me at the moment than coming home covered in sweat and knowing I’ve worked hard to get better, even if I do pay for it later. Oh and because my physio instructor for the gym is amazing I got given a sticker because I worked so hard…being the youngest has its perks!

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Another really amazing thing is that as I’ve mentioned before I’ve struggled with the fact I’ve put on weight because of the accident and recovery, as well as the implications of my medication. As I wrote before I won’t mention numbers on here but I can confirm my healthier eating habits and gradually building up movement is working I’m finally losing the weight I gained!! I’m really proud of myself for doing something healthy and my strength in will power!

I ended a good day with a great evening at The Fighting Cocks with Ali, Charlotte, Rhys and later Joe. I got to play in the quiz, laugh a lot, get drawn on and just get out of the house with no expectation to get drunk which was really nice. It also helps that whenever me and Charlotte hang out we can’t stop laughing.

I’m stupidly excited about this start to December and I hope more than anything it carries on!

London with Joebi-Wan

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On Friday the legend that is Joe and I headed into London for our art gallery date that we’ve been arranging for aaaaaages. I’ve gotten really into my art lately from reading lots of comic books (Joe’s fault) and my visit to the Van Gogh Museum when I went to Amsterdam earlier in the year. So after our disappointment that the Star Wars shop wasn’t open yet we got our train into central and obviously stopped off at McDonalds before starting our classy day.

We tried to follow our phones to get to the Tate and eventually found it where our attitudes ranged from discussing the art in an artistic way and comparing pieces of art to moldy potatoes, blobs and just generally saying how weird they are. We didn’t go into any exhibitions or anything like that because when you don’t know how good it’s going to be £16 is a pretty big chunk of money, for a student anyway. We wondered around and saw some amazing artwork Warhol and Lichtenstein were my personal favourites. After we headed over to Forbidden Planet for comic books as well as the Disney Store in Covent Garden to get some Star Wars goodies.

I love spending time with Joe because we laugh, we take the piss out of anything and everything and it’s just such a chilled out atmosphere between us. Thanks for the great time bro (y).

One of my best friends is getting married!!!

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This weekend I got the amazing news that my best friend is going to be getting married!! Yes, my fellow long term relationship friend got proposed to this weekend. Amy and Peter are a truly brilliant couple and I have been doing nothing but smiling since I got the message and started screaming and laughing with excitement in the middle of Wimbledon station with Daniela…I’m pretty sure people thought we were having some kind of break down.

When your best friend gets engaged a lot of people tell you that you’ll have this wave of jealousy, this ‘why isn’t it me’ reaction but I can honestly say I haven’t. My smile has been as wide as it’s ever been and as soon as I could I went to buy an engagement card, started thinking of things I could get them as wedding gifts and any way that I could possibly help Amy.

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I can’t wait to celebrate with these two (sorry for pinching your picture Peter), who truly are meant for each other and have given childhood sweethearts another happy ending. Now let the celebrations, crazy planning and good times continue, I can’t wait to see them say ‘I do’.

Congratulations Amy and Peter!!!!

Stylist Live!

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This week I was lucky enough to win tickets to Stylist Live, this is Stylist magazine’s first big event, located in central London with great speakers such as Katie Piper, Nigella Lawson, Dawn O’porter to name just a few. The event has been running for the past few days and today was its last. Now I had no idea what to expect from an event like this, I’ve never been to anything fashion and magazine like before.

So Dani and I turned up, were handed a drink and just kind of wandered around until there was something we wanted to do. I got the impression that the event was for people with money and speaking to great companies but a lot of them are way out of my price range. It was a nice thing to go to but I don’t think I would have paid £25 for a ticket because there just wasn’t enough to do. While I had a plan of all these talks I wanted to go to the rooms were too small, getting there 15-20 minutes early and the talk was already full. You’d have to wait for nearly an hour to go to one talk, meaning you would miss your next one.

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I did enjoy seeing my first proper fashion show, even if I didn’t take it entirely seriously, really because catwalk fashion is always a little off to me. The catwalk was better because it was based on high street, even though I definitely don’t have the body type for 90% of the outfits on the catwalk. I think I’ll stick to my Next jumpers and Topshop jumpers!

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We made the most of the day though, we left early because the queues were crazy and ended up in an amazing little Oxfam bookshop where I ended up getting a load of stuff for my dissertation and there was an amazing piano (in the top left of the above picture). I’m glad I got to spend the day with Daniela and do something a little different, as well as getting some good news which you’ll have to check tomorrow’s post for. All in all I think I’m going to be sticking mostly with book reviews and my student bits and pieces, I’m not quite a fashionista yet.

10 Reasons to Keep Smiling

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We all have days where we need a little pick me up, sometimes for no reason. I decided to write 10 reasons to keep smiling, even if it’s the last thing you feel like doing. The days are getting shorter and I for one know I have had a bit of  rough time lately so I hope you enjoy!

1. Smile at others 

This really does make you feel better! I usually like smiling at old people because you just see their whole face light up and it makes me feel good as well as them! Just one smile can change another persons whole day as well as yours!

2. Do something you love 

We all have loves, hobbies or just little things we enjoy doing. Since I’ve had to give up horse riding (which is really, really hard but not worth the risk to my health) I’ve had to find other things to do to unwind. Now I’ve started to write and draw more.

3. Be around people who make you feel good 

There is nothing worse than being around people who put you down or make you miserable. If your having an off day then staying away is a must! Stick around the people who make you smile just from their company and you’ll feel much better.

4. Write a list 

Write a list of things you need to do, things you’ve done, anything! If your struggling breaking it down can make you go ‘oh okay that isn’t as bad’. If you’re feeling happy anyway why not write a list of things you enjoy, places you want to visit etc (my top tip write in funky colours!).  If I’m really down I try and write down things to be grateful for.

5. Think of 5 things you are grateful you have 

I used to do this on the way to school to cheer myself up, it would make me focus on the positives in my life and then the negatives didn’t seem so bad at all. There are really simple thing to be grateful for for me they’re things like having a family to love and support me, that I can make music, that I have my education and a strong and solid relationship.

6. Comfort food IS OK!!!! 

I hate fad diets, if you want to eat then go eat. I can’t stand people talking to me about calories or trying to make me feel bad. Don’t let others dictate to you what you should eat if I want to go to McDonalds or get some chocolate I will, regardless of anyone else!

7. Turn the music up and dance like nobody can see you 

This is great especially when your cleaning just dance around like your bonkers and make yourself laugh. I like doing this with my sister when we agree on music 🙂

8. Give someone a hug 

Hugs are great, I love hugs.

9. Read a good book 🙂 

Oh come on could I really leave this out?! Reading just takes me away to an entirely different place.

10. Laughter is really the best medicine

I will watch funny Youtube video, stand up comedy and movies. That or I’ll be around people I know I love to laugh with.

Laugh lots. Laugh while you love. Laugh while you live.  

What are your reasons to keep smiling?

Fresher’s week 2015

After last weeks celebrations for birthday week, I am surprised I’m still awake after my second week of activities and shenanigans. This week was Fresher week and although I haven’t been out pounding the dance floor I have been pretty busy and, well, I definitely feel like a first year. I spent my first Freshers week being incredibly awkward and nervous and I spent a lot of time in my room, my second Freshers week I went out with my friends, signed up for societies and partied…for my third, I was actually having to be a responsible person.

I spent Monday in physio and working, Tuesday practicing with the boys and taking the Amp for emergency repair (not an ideal situation), Wednesday working with the newbies and taking them to enrollment, Thursday at Freshers fair and then straight to a show at the Fighting Cocks (quite possibly the best crowd I’ve ever played to, shouting, dancing, clapping and an encore!) and back to the fair again on Friday where we got over 100 sign ups for the Horse Riding Society! Get in!

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I’d be lying if I said that everything was completely easy this week. I’ve struggled a lot with both my spine and my anxiety. I’ve got a love hate relationship with Freshers, I love that it’s the beginning of the year and I’m excited to get stuck in, but at the same time I get so anxious with so many people around and everything going on all at once. I’ve met other people like that too, which makes me feel a little better. I’m also freaking out a little out third year, all the work I have to do, the thought of applying for my MA and funding and not knowing what’s going to happen once I graduate. It was also more than a little bittersweet not having Eleanor, Maisha and Alissa around this year to hang out with too.

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Overall, it’s been a good week, definitely challenging but I’m pleased with what I’ve achieved. Am I ready to go back? Yes. I can’t wait to get back into lectures and have something to get stuck into again. I know this years going to be a bit hard because of my spine and I’ll have to miss out on some things that I wanted to do, but maybe I’ll get to do something I hadn’t planned on. I have some great things this year, I love my job, I love my friends, my bands FINALLY getting somewhere, I have two lovely little hammies and the best guy around at my side. I think this year’s going to be a pretty good one.

Turning 21 – What a birthday!

I’m writing this on what is the last night I am celebrating turning 21! It’s been a great few weeks, kicking off with my trip to Amsterdam earlier this month with the girls, followed by a celebration with my Dad’s side of the family Tuesday, seeing Lucy and my baby girl Lexi in the day on Wednesday and my Little Mermaid themed party with my Mum’s side of the family in the afternoon evening.

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Thursday was pretty average for birthday week with band practice and waiting up with Ali to see in my 21st birthday and finally getting my Ron Pop figure! I woke up to hugs, a load of Facebook messages and texts, to get ready for my Mum coming. I always need to see my parents on my birthday, it’s like you know they’re responsible for me being in the world at all so it’s only right that I see them. For my first present I received a special hardback anniversary edition of To Kill a Mockingbird, one of my favourite books.

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We headed into town for some shopping and of course a cocktail, where I also got a free shot for my birthday! After I had to go and get my fox onesie I’d had my eyes on for a week so that I could spend my hangover day in style… I knew I’d have a messy night out, before being met by Ali….with more Pops! Dumbledore and Snape!! I was also met by Joe later with a copy of Y the last man (you should totally check it out) and an incredible colouring book. I really couldn’t wait to meet up with Dad and Summer too 🙂

When they finally got here after my sister was let out of school I was met with this beauty..

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Yup, this was handmade by my sister as my birthday cake. I got some amazing presents, a Pandora ring I’ve wanted for ages, a new Dolphin charm, mug, wine glass (for vodka, obviously) and I got taken out to dinner with my family, Ali and Joe came along too (with Kermit). I love my family so much and just being with them on my birthday was so special and I think we have a new family picture too!

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I’ve had cards from so many people too, including Eleanor and Maisha in New Zealand! My family, Ali’s family, friends, nearly 100 messages on Facebook and then I got a huge surprise when I went to the pub. I couldn’t believe that over 20 people turned up to celebrate with me, friends from all across my life and I was so overwhelmed by it all. I even got more gifts! A Voldemort Pop from Ben and Abbie, a Jessica Rabbit Pop from Laura (because she looks like me!), a lovely quote to go on my wall and earrings from Dani, a book of positive quotes from Aline and Lush stuff from Amy and Peter. I think you can tell from my smile in the pictures how happy I was.

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And those are just some of the pictures! I just felt so loved all day and it’s something I’ll cherish forever. I also felt loved when Ali took me home and put me in my fox onesie before letting me sleep off the mound of drinks that people had bought me! Luckily for me I also woke up with only a slight headache. Win!

Today was the last part of my celebrations as Ali’s Sister, Mum, her boyfriend came for lunch, bringing with them more presents. From Ali’s Mum and her boyfriend I received a MAC ‘look in a box’ with a lipstick, lip gloss and liner and from Ali’s sister a beautiful copy of Alice in Wonderland, a beautiful novel I’ve never had the chance to read.

I’m a little sad that it’s all over now but I have this overwhelming love and feeling of awe at how many people took time out of their day to say happy birthday, send a message, see me or anything else. Thank you to each and every one of you, I think this has to have been the best birthday ever. Who knows what this year is going to bring but I really, really hope this is the start of another great chapter, oh and to top it off I now have over 1000 Twitter followers, another goal accomplished!

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Me, now 21.