Tag: blogger

Feminist Friday Returns!

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Yes, you read that right I’m bringing back Feminist Friday.

I was really unsure for a while, I wasn’t getting the response I wanted, feeling generally deflated. Then I read a few books, got mad about sexism and started writing again. Really writing for a few weeks and, well, I decided that I wanted to bring this back.

I’m not sure it will be every week, I’m not sure exactly what I’m going to be writing about. There will be opinions and poetry and hopefully other women writing about things they are passionate about too.

Let’s start a revolution!

You're Doing Better Than You Think Mental Health Lifestyle Blog

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

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Hey you,

Yes you, reading this for whatever reason. I’m going to tell you something that you need to hear right now. You’re doing better than you think you are. Hear me out. I’ve had shitty times in the past few years where I’ve felt like a giant failure, hey, at the time of writing this there are parts of my life I feel like I’m not where I thought I would be. BUT you are your biggest critic, I am mine and that’s not a terrible thing.

We do have a word with ourselves but think about what you’ve said to yourself. Would you say that to a friend about their lives? That they were a huge fuck up and things weren’t going to get better because they don’t deserve them. I know you’ve had those thoughts because I have to.

Sometimes the voices in our own heads take over our thoughts. They shout so loud with comparisons look what they’re doing, why aren’t you doing that? or perhaps you just think what am I doing? Am I doing what I’m meant to right now?

Last month I was in a funk, I was really struggling with myself. Well, I thought I was doing terribly, I’m not close to buying a house (are any 23-year-olds with student debt?), I’m not getting married and the books I’ve been working on for the past few years still aren’t finished. My mind was full of anxiety and self-doubt and just struggling, even though I was reminded by various people I’d been doing great and am still doing great in different areas of my life.

I didn’t write this to tell you how much better I feel. In fact, the opposite. This post doesn’t end with bragging about how wonderful I’m doing because that my lovely readers would be a big fat lie. I still have thoughts and days where I think I’m doing terribly. This was written to let you know that we all feel like that and chances are you’re not giving yourself enough credit.

You’re doing better than you think, you’ve got this.

Mental Heath Week 2018 Round-Up

MHAW18 – The Round Up

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Well, what a week it has been! After writing all week about different aspects of mental health I’m so pleased with the response. I’ve been amazed by the responses, the number of people reading, it’s been amazing! That said, I know that not everyone checks in every day with my blog (it’s ok, I’ll forgive you) so here’s a round-up of this weeks posts!

Welcome to MHAW18 

A big welcome to the week and a heads up about what I’m planning to do with it.

Does Therapy Work?

One of the big questions in the community is about therapy and whether it works, so I decided to talk about it and why it’s good to talk!

10 Ways To Support Someone With A Mental Illness

It can be really hard to support someone who is mentally ill. So I’ve put together some tips on how to support someone with a mental illness and what might work for you and them.

My Top 10 Mental Health Reads 

Of course, I was going to talk about books! I’ve picked 10 reads I thought did it right when it comes to mental illness.

I Have, I Am – Talking About Mental Illness 

I’m really interested in the terminology we use to discuss our mental health. This post was to discuss that and how we relate ourselves and our illnesses.

How Am I Doing Right Now? 

My own personal post about my mental health right now and how I’m doing. I try and write one of these every year just being honest about how I’ve been doing, what place I’m in right now.

I’ve enjoyed writing and getting to know more of you this week. We have to remember that this week is excellent but mental health awareness needs to carry on. It needs to be spoken about without shame or stigma.

Thanks so much for reading!

Welcome to Mental Health Awareness Week 2018!

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So, a few days ago I realised that it’s Mental Health Awareness Week and had to get a plan together, quick. You see, mental well being is so important to me because I haven’t always been in the place that I am now (here’s a whole post about my story from last year).

Ok, but why?

I think we need to talk because being mentally ill can be really lonely and make you feel like you’re the only person in the world who has these feelings. I promise you that you’re not. This is your brain goblin, stay with me here, that likes to take over your brain and make everything look and feel terrible. It is lying to you, it loves to lie to you.

So, what’s going to be happening over here 

I’m going to write a post about mental health every single day of the week. Yep, that’s a thing now. I want to talk about things to make others more comfortable and open. I’m going to be talking about whether I think therapy works, how to support someone with a mental illness and how we talk about it and ourselves. It’s going to be a full ride of information, emotions and more. Honestly, I could write about it forever but this is just a tiny portion of the internet.

I just want to get people talking and if they’re comfortable, sharing. It’s such a personal thing that gets turned into a political agenda. I’ve been at the point where I thought there was no coming back, I’ve been on a huge high where I thought I was cured forever and it was never coming back (lol, no). This is just what I think, what I’ve felt and hopefully, this week can help someone else as well.

So get into the comments, start talking and I can’t wait to see what the rest of the week brings!

Clothes sizes are BS

Clothes Sizes are BS.

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Ok, girls and guys, we need to talk about clothes sizes.

I can’t even count the number of times that I’ve stood in a shop changing room hating my body. Firstly, hello to everyone who designs them can we change the lighting situation no one looks good in them. Secondly, I have body hang-ups, I have done since I was a young teenager even though I look at my 16-year-old self now and want to shout at her you fool, you look amazing! Wear whatever you like! There is just one more thing, in every shop the clothes sizes differ.

I like to try a variety of shops on the high street I have H&M, Next, New Look, Primark (so much Primark) and even a little Topshop in my wardrobe. Labels don’t mean that much to me when it comes to clothes because it’s so hard to find something that’s flattering. I digress. In my wardrobe, I have clothes that range from a size 8 – a size 14. That’s 4 different dress sizes that all fit me. Confused? Me too.

Now the whole idea of these dress sizes is to have a universal marker, but this is so rare. Sometimes it even stretches to the same shop. Once I tried a size 10 dress on in H&M, it fit. I then went on to try a pair of trousers on and I couldn’t even get a size 16 done up. Because that is logical.

So why am I rambling on about my clothes and changing rooms? The summer season is fast approaching, as is the bullshit of ‘beach body ready’. I have a body, if I put it on a beach it’s ready. There’s also a lot of stress in buying new clothes for the summer and the little number stitched into them.

I’m not claiming I don’t do this. I get panicky when I go up a dress size, even when I know that it’s ridiculous. The thing is I definitely think it’s something that is constantly forced down our throats that there should be a ‘perfect size’. That a number correlates to your worth and then after that they don’t match up anyway. What is this madness?!

This might be a little out there but it’s something that I wanted to get off my chest and see what you guys think. As always, let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

London Book Fair Haul!

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Hello beautiful people!

This week I finally went to the London Book Fair. I’d heard a lot of great things but never had the reason/money to go. So when I was invited to attend as part of the Book Blog awards I snapped it up. On the note of should you go, it was a weird experience for me. I did notice that there wasn’t a lot of awareness in regards to Book Bloggers (a lot of the people on stands seemed either confused or disinterested which was a shame) so I did feel a little awkward.

Will I go again next year? I’m not sure. I did really enjoy seeing more of the book industry but at the same time, it kind of opened my eyes. I do feel there’s a lack of diversity in the industry. When I looked into going into publishing as a student there was little to no way of getting in without doing unpaid experience, which wasn’t an option for me. I really think it’s something that needs to be looked at and it kind of proved itself at the fair.

BUT I did speak to some lovely companies who wanted to talk and took my card. To further that a few of them also gave me some copies of various books so I wanted to share them with you!

 

Good Night Stories For Rebel Girls 2

Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls 2 – published by Timbuktu Labs 

I spoke to the wonderful team at Timbuktu basically just gushing about how much I love these books, how wonderful they are etc.  Amazingly, I was given a copy of the second book as well as an awesome tote bag. I was also reminded of the new podcast which has gone up recently which I need to check out and can’t wait to. The guys here were awesome and if you want my thoughts on the first book you can find them here.

Paper Girls

Paper Girls – published by Image 

This was another instance of me gushing about how many graphic novels I loved that Diamond distributed. So Diamond are the distributors for so many of the graphic novels I love. After talking I was offered to take home something from the stand, so I picked up this beautiful copy of Paper Girls vol 1. So, so pretty.

The Man on the Middle Floor

The Man on the Middle Floor published by Red Door Books

I saw this advertised everywhere in London and the person on the stand was so lovely and pushed it into my hands. This is apparently a murder with a mystery element and I’m not sure I would have picked it up myself but I’m glad to give it a read.

Tubing

Tubing published by Red Door Books

Also handed to be by Red Door, this is one I’ve been looking forward to. This is a thriller set in London and deals with living an unfulfilled life, jealousy and violence…I think? I’ll keep you posted                                            The Old You

The Old You by Louise Voss 

I was handed this while I was sitting down by a random person and funnily enough, I wanted to be on a blog tour for this a while ago but unfortunately there weren’t enough copies. This is another thriller, there were a lot of those, about a woman whose husband has dementia and things start getting sinister and it looks at who to believe. I really hope it’s a good representation.

Her Name Was Rose

Her Name Was Rose – Claire Allen

So, I know nothing about this book. Someone had just left this ARC on the floor and I decided to give it a loving home. After looking it up it centres around a woman who kills a young mother in a car accident and how she cannot move on. Other than that I’m not sure so I’m going into this knowing not much and I’ll keep you posted.

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And that is all of them! Are any of these on your TBR piles? Any you can recommend? Let me know in the comments below!

 

Thanks for reading 🙂

 

Dealing With Anxiety Attacks

Dealing with Anxiety Attacks

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You know the drill, your heart is pounding, thoughts racing and breathing suddenly becomes a little harder. It could have been the tiniest thing, something that most people wouldn’t even register but you have and your brain is in overdrive. A good old Anxiety Attack.

I’ve been living with these beauties since I was around 15 years old, I think. I’ve always been a worrier but Anxiety is a whole different thing. I’ve had an anxiety attack in the supermarket. Why? No idea. Just found myself feeling like I was going to pass out while in the pastry bit. And I love pastry.

So, how do you actually deal with them? Because that’s what has to be done. I can’t go and crawl into bed and let it pass, that would be great but it’s not what real life is. I’m a big fan of using your senses, you might have heard of this method before. When I feel like I’m falling into an attack I try to do the following

What can I see?  Focus on that and only that for a few seconds.

What can I touch? Think about it, what’s the texture, what is it?

What can I hear? Zone in on a particular sound or the silence if there is some and hold on to it.

What can I smell? Take a deep breath, can I smell anything? What is it? Where does it come from?

The only one that isn’t on here is taste…because it doesn’t really work.

 

That’s one method I use if I’m in a better place I’ll also talk to myself in my head, it’s like I have two sides to my brain. There’s a calm and collected side and the anxious side, sometimes the calm side wins, sometimes the anxious one does, they both put up a fight. Basically, I try to talk myself into being logical because anxiety makes your heart feel like there’s a lion in front of you when there’s not. I ask myself questions and try to think through things carefully.

So, these are some of my ways of dealing with Anxiety. They might not be perfect and I know that I’m not a professional but this is just how I’ve been dealing with them. Is there anything you would add? I’m always up for learning more! Let me know in the comments below!

Dealing With Anxiety Attacks

Dealing with Anxiety Attacks

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You know the drill, your heart is pounding, thoughts racing and breathing suddenly becomes a little harder. It could have been the tiniest thing, something that most people wouldn’t even register but you have and your brain is in overdrive. A good old Anxiety Attack.

I’ve been living with these beauties since I was around 15 years old, I think. I’ve always been a worrier but Anxiety is a whole different thing. I’ve had an anxiety attack in the supermarket. Why? No idea. Just found myself feeling like I was going to pass out while in the pastry bit. And I love pastry.

So, how do you actually deal with them? Because that’s what has to be done. I can’t go and crawl into bed and let it pass, that would be great but it’s not what real life is. I’m a big fan of using your senses, you might have heard of this method before. When I feel like I’m falling into an attack I try to do the following

What can I see?  Focus on that and only that for a few seconds.

What can I touch? Think about it, what’s the texture, what is it?

What can I hear? Zone in on a particular sound or the silence if there is some and hold on to it.

What can I smell? Take a deep breath, can I smell anything? What is it? Where does it come from?

The only one that isn’t on here is taste…because it doesn’t really work.

 

That’s one method I use if I’m in a better place I’ll also talk to myself in my head, it’s like I have two sides to my brain. There’s a calm and collected side and the anxious side, sometimes the calm side wins, sometimes the anxious one does, they both put up a fight. Basically, I try to talk myself into being logical because anxiety makes your heart feel like there’s a lion in front of you when there’s not. I ask myself questions and try to think through things carefully.

So, these are some of my ways of dealing with Anxiety. They might not be perfect and I know that I’m not a professional but this is just how I’ve been dealing with them. Is there anything you would add? I’m always up for learning more! Let me know in the comments below!

I’m in a Funk

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Blerghh. That’s not a normal start to a blog post, is it? Recently I’ve been sitting at my laptop trying to write, well, anything and not being happy with the result. I’ve attempted blog posts, non-fiction book ideas, fictional book ideas and I’ve just felt really ‘meh’ about it. The thing is it doesn’t just cover my writing. In general, I’ve been in an odd fidgety mood where I just can’t seem to feel good about what I’m doing.

I wrote a little while ago about what’s been up with me and got a lovely response from so many people, so thank you. I’ve been trying to get myself out of this mindset and pinpoint if there’s anything in particular, but I’m coming up with nothing. That was until I spoke to a friend of mine and found out she had quite a few of the same feelings.

Now, we’ve been friends since we were 11 years old and we have drastically different lives but we still had these feelings of not quite knowing what we’re doing and feeling like we’re not doing enough or what we should be for our lives. I’m going to throw it out there and say I’m not the only 20 something that feels like that at the moment.

There’s so much uncertainty about everything that even the smallest things can feel like they’re a huge deal. Take blogging for example. Logically I know that if I only post twice a week no one is going to die. It’s not a life or death situation but the thought still fills me with panic. Am I where I should be with my blog? Why am I not getting as many views as XX? Am I doing enough on my own social media? The list goes on.

We all know we’re not supposed to compare ourselves but, let’s be honest, we all do. My friend has two kids under 10 and worries about career stuff. I have started in my career and worry about having a family in the future. I guess it doesn’t matter where you are, you’re still going to worry about something and feel that you’re not doing it right.

Have any of my fellow bloggers been stuck in this funk before? What did you do to get out of it? Let me know in the comments below!

My Myers Briggs Test Results!

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Recently, I retook the Myers Briggs personality test. I’d taken it before when I was at university but knew that some people changed over time, however, I’m still the same, an INFJ. This test is by far the most detailed and correct personality test I’ve ever taken you can take it here.

So, what’s INFJ and how does it relate to me?

INFJ stands for Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging. This is also known as a rare personality type. Most people who know me will be surprised to know I’m an introvert but I definitely am. I love staying at home at the weekend and being with a small group of people rather than a huge party! I also trust my gut in situations, showing intuition. Additionally, in terms of feeling, I am known to feel deeply and care, even more, this can make some situations tricky. Judging, according to others, refers to wanting order and structure which…I might be partial to.

You really agree with this?

Now I get it, can these things really work? I’ve taken this so many times since uni and it sticks. I was surprised because it’s really like me in a specific way, so yeah, I think it can work. Only if you’re honest though.

What jobs do INFJs normally go into? 

The general consensus is that we fit best into creative jobs or those that can help people. Some that have been mentioned are Writer *cough*, Counsellor, Professor,  Designer or Scientist. We are dreamers, which definitely helps.

Who else has this personality? 

Now I can’t say I’ve tracked down these people and made them take the test but people seem to agree that the following are, or have been, INFJs.

  • Carrie Fisher (long live our Princess)
  • Oprah
  • Nicole Kidman
  • Lady Gaga
  • Adam Sandler
  • Martin Luther King
  • Prince

 

What do you think about this personality test? Have you taken it? Let me know if you have and what you are in the comments below! All of the full information is here from the website where I took my test!