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You're Doing Better Than You Think Mental Health Lifestyle Blog

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

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Hey you,

Yes you, reading this for whatever reason. I’m going to tell you something that you need to hear right now. You’re doing better than you think you are. Hear me out. I’ve had shitty times in the past few years where I’ve felt like a giant failure, hey, at the time of writing this there are parts of my life I feel like I’m not where I thought I would be. BUT you are your biggest critic, I am mine and that’s not a terrible thing.

We do have a word with ourselves but think about what you’ve said to yourself. Would you say that to a friend about their lives? That they were a huge fuck up and things weren’t going to get better because they don’t deserve them. I know you’ve had those thoughts because I have to.

Sometimes the voices in our own heads take over our thoughts. They shout so loud with comparisons look what they’re doing, why aren’t you doing that? or perhaps you just think what am I doing? Am I doing what I’m meant to right now?

Last month I was in a funk, I was really struggling with myself. Well, I thought I was doing terribly, I’m not close to buying a house (are any 23-year-olds with student debt?), I’m not getting married and the books I’ve been working on for the past few years still aren’t finished. My mind was full of anxiety and self-doubt and just struggling, even though I was reminded by various people I’d been doing great and am still doing great in different areas of my life.

I didn’t write this to tell you how much better I feel. In fact, the opposite. This post doesn’t end with bragging about how wonderful I’m doing because that my lovely readers would be a big fat lie. I still have thoughts and days where I think I’m doing terribly. This was written to let you know that we all feel like that and chances are you’re not giving yourself enough credit.

You’re doing better than you think, you’ve got this.

Welcome to Mental Health Awareness Week 2018!

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So, a few days ago I realised that it’s Mental Health Awareness Week and had to get a plan together, quick. You see, mental well being is so important to me because I haven’t always been in the place that I am now (here’s a whole post about my story from last year).

Ok, but why?

I think we need to talk because being mentally ill can be really lonely and make you feel like you’re the only person in the world who has these feelings. I promise you that you’re not. This is your brain goblin, stay with me here, that likes to take over your brain and make everything look and feel terrible. It is lying to you, it loves to lie to you.

So, what’s going to be happening over here 

I’m going to write a post about mental health every single day of the week. Yep, that’s a thing now. I want to talk about things to make others more comfortable and open. I’m going to be talking about whether I think therapy works, how to support someone with a mental illness and how we talk about it and ourselves. It’s going to be a full ride of information, emotions and more. Honestly, I could write about it forever but this is just a tiny portion of the internet.

I just want to get people talking and if they’re comfortable, sharing. It’s such a personal thing that gets turned into a political agenda. I’ve been at the point where I thought there was no coming back, I’ve been on a huge high where I thought I was cured forever and it was never coming back (lol, no). This is just what I think, what I’ve felt and hopefully, this week can help someone else as well.

So get into the comments, start talking and I can’t wait to see what the rest of the week brings!

Clothes sizes are BS

Clothes Sizes are BS.

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Ok, girls and guys, we need to talk about clothes sizes.

I can’t even count the number of times that I’ve stood in a shop changing room hating my body. Firstly, hello to everyone who designs them can we change the lighting situation no one looks good in them. Secondly, I have body hang-ups, I have done since I was a young teenager even though I look at my 16-year-old self now and want to shout at her you fool, you look amazing! Wear whatever you like! There is just one more thing, in every shop the clothes sizes differ.

I like to try a variety of shops on the high street I have H&M, Next, New Look, Primark (so much Primark) and even a little Topshop in my wardrobe. Labels don’t mean that much to me when it comes to clothes because it’s so hard to find something that’s flattering. I digress. In my wardrobe, I have clothes that range from a size 8 – a size 14. That’s 4 different dress sizes that all fit me. Confused? Me too.

Now the whole idea of these dress sizes is to have a universal marker, but this is so rare. Sometimes it even stretches to the same shop. Once I tried a size 10 dress on in H&M, it fit. I then went on to try a pair of trousers on and I couldn’t even get a size 16 done up. Because that is logical.

So why am I rambling on about my clothes and changing rooms? The summer season is fast approaching, as is the bullshit of ‘beach body ready’. I have a body, if I put it on a beach it’s ready. There’s also a lot of stress in buying new clothes for the summer and the little number stitched into them.

I’m not claiming I don’t do this. I get panicky when I go up a dress size, even when I know that it’s ridiculous. The thing is I definitely think it’s something that is constantly forced down our throats that there should be a ‘perfect size’. That a number correlates to your worth and then after that they don’t match up anyway. What is this madness?!

This might be a little out there but it’s something that I wanted to get off my chest and see what you guys think. As always, let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

How To Start A Blog

How to Start a Blog

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Hey everyone!

So in the last two or so years, I’ve had something interesting keep happening. A lot of people I know on Facebook or in person have come to me to ask how they would go about setting up a blog of their own. When this first happened I was so confused, me? It was weird. I didn’t feel like a huge authority on blogging but then I got it. I’ve been blogging for about 7 years now, I feel like I’ve got a good following and people saw me as being the one to talk to. Then someone asked if I’d write a post about starting and I thought, why not? So, here’s my way of setting up a blog.

Choose your blog name 

This is where a lot of people start and then stop. This is hard and you need to find something that suits what you’re about. I’ve seen some great quirky ones but also using your name is fine as well! It’s completely up to you.

Choose your platform and theme 

Personally, I like WordPress because it’s just easy to use so I mention it to everyone. There are a lot of others you can use and all have their merits but I’m 100% a WordPress girl! To start though trial something for free, I didn’t start paying for my blog until a few years ago because it was something I wanted to do, the same goes for themes there are a lot of great free ones before you go ahead and pay money out!

Note down some ideas of what you want to write about 

Blogging needs some consistency as in posting a minimum of once a week to start. There’s no point in putting out 5 blogs at once and then nothing at all for 3 weeks. Spread it out and remember scheduling is your friend!

Follow other bloggers and interact 

The blogging community is brilliant, so make sure you interact with them. There are Twitter chats to join in on every single night and it’s a great way to get hints and tips as well as views! Also, read and comment on other blogs.

Welcome to blogging! 

So, there are a few things to get you started! Blogging is fantastic and a great way to get to know yourself better and get better at your passion. I’d love to see new blogs so make sure you link them in the comments or if you have any more questions about blogging you can email me at chloefmetzger@gmail.com for a chat!

How To Start A Blog

How to Start a Blog

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So in the last two or so years, I’ve had something interesting keep happening. A lot of people I know on Facebook or in person have come to me to ask how they would go about setting up a blog of their own. When this first happened I was so confused, me? It was weird. I didn’t feel like a huge authority on blogging but then I got it…

I’ve been blogging for about 7 years now, I feel like I’ve got a good following and people saw me as being the one to talk to. Then someone asked if I’d write a post about starting and I thought, why not? So, here’s my way of setting up a blog.

Choose your blog name 

This is where a lot of people start and then stop. This is hard and you need to find something that suits what you’re about. I’ve seen some great quirky ones but also using your name is fine as well! It’s completely up to you.

Choose your platform and theme 

Personally, I like WordPress because it’s just easy to use so I mention it to everyone. There are a lot of others you can use and all have their merits but I’m 100% a WordPress girl! To start though trial something for free, I didn’t start paying for my blog until a few years ago because it was something I wanted to do, the same goes for themes there are a lot of great free ones before you go ahead and pay money out!

Note down some ideas of what you want to write about 

Blogging needs some consistency as in posting a minimum of once a week to start. There’s no point in putting out 5 blogs at once and then nothing at all for 3 weeks. Spread it out and remember scheduling is your friend!

Follow other bloggers and interact 

The blogging community is brilliant, so make sure you interact with them. There are Twitter chats to join in on every single night and it’s a great way to get hints and tips as well as views! Also, read and comment on other blogs.

Welcome to blogging! 

So, there are a few things to get you started! Blogging is fantastic and a great way to get to know yourself better and get better at your passion. I’d love to see new blogs so make sure you link them in the comments or if you have any more questions about blogging you can email me at chloefmetzger@gmail.com for a chat!

Dealing With Anxiety Attacks

Dealing with Anxiety Attacks

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You know the drill, your heart is pounding, thoughts racing and breathing suddenly becomes a little harder. It could have been the tiniest thing, something that most people wouldn’t even register but you have and your brain is in overdrive. A good old Anxiety Attack.

I’ve been living with these beauties since I was around 15 years old, I think. I’ve always been a worrier but Anxiety is a whole different thing. I’ve had an anxiety attack in the supermarket. Why? No idea. Just found myself feeling like I was going to pass out while in the pastry bit. And I love pastry.

So, how do you actually deal with them? Because that’s what has to be done. I can’t go and crawl into bed and let it pass, that would be great but it’s not what real life is. I’m a big fan of using your senses, you might have heard of this method before. When I feel like I’m falling into an attack I try to do the following

What can I see?  Focus on that and only that for a few seconds.

What can I touch? Think about it, what’s the texture, what is it?

What can I hear? Zone in on a particular sound or the silence if there is some and hold on to it.

What can I smell? Take a deep breath, can I smell anything? What is it? Where does it come from?

The only one that isn’t on here is taste…because it doesn’t really work.

 

That’s one method I use if I’m in a better place I’ll also talk to myself in my head, it’s like I have two sides to my brain. There’s a calm and collected side and the anxious side, sometimes the calm side wins, sometimes the anxious one does, they both put up a fight. Basically, I try to talk myself into being logical because anxiety makes your heart feel like there’s a lion in front of you when there’s not. I ask myself questions and try to think through things carefully.

So, these are some of my ways of dealing with Anxiety. They might not be perfect and I know that I’m not a professional but this is just how I’ve been dealing with them. Is there anything you would add? I’m always up for learning more! Let me know in the comments below!

Dealing With Anxiety Attacks

Dealing with Anxiety Attacks

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You know the drill, your heart is pounding, thoughts racing and breathing suddenly becomes a little harder. It could have been the tiniest thing, something that most people wouldn’t even register but you have and your brain is in overdrive. A good old Anxiety Attack.

I’ve been living with these beauties since I was around 15 years old, I think. I’ve always been a worrier but Anxiety is a whole different thing. I’ve had an anxiety attack in the supermarket. Why? No idea. Just found myself feeling like I was going to pass out while in the pastry bit. And I love pastry.

So, how do you actually deal with them? Because that’s what has to be done. I can’t go and crawl into bed and let it pass, that would be great but it’s not what real life is. I’m a big fan of using your senses, you might have heard of this method before. When I feel like I’m falling into an attack I try to do the following

What can I see?  Focus on that and only that for a few seconds.

What can I touch? Think about it, what’s the texture, what is it?

What can I hear? Zone in on a particular sound or the silence if there is some and hold on to it.

What can I smell? Take a deep breath, can I smell anything? What is it? Where does it come from?

The only one that isn’t on here is taste…because it doesn’t really work.

 

That’s one method I use if I’m in a better place I’ll also talk to myself in my head, it’s like I have two sides to my brain. There’s a calm and collected side and the anxious side, sometimes the calm side wins, sometimes the anxious one does, they both put up a fight. Basically, I try to talk myself into being logical because anxiety makes your heart feel like there’s a lion in front of you when there’s not. I ask myself questions and try to think through things carefully.

So, these are some of my ways of dealing with Anxiety. They might not be perfect and I know that I’m not a professional but this is just how I’ve been dealing with them. Is there anything you would add? I’m always up for learning more! Let me know in the comments below!

I’m in a Funk

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Blerghh. That’s not a normal start to a blog post, is it? Recently I’ve been sitting at my laptop trying to write, well, anything and not being happy with the result. I’ve attempted blog posts, non-fiction book ideas, fictional book ideas and I’ve just felt really ‘meh’ about it. The thing is it doesn’t just cover my writing. In general, I’ve been in an odd fidgety mood where I just can’t seem to feel good about what I’m doing.

I wrote a little while ago about what’s been up with me and got a lovely response from so many people, so thank you. I’ve been trying to get myself out of this mindset and pinpoint if there’s anything in particular, but I’m coming up with nothing. That was until I spoke to a friend of mine and found out she had quite a few of the same feelings.

Now, we’ve been friends since we were 11 years old and we have drastically different lives but we still had these feelings of not quite knowing what we’re doing and feeling like we’re not doing enough or what we should be for our lives. I’m going to throw it out there and say I’m not the only 20 something that feels like that at the moment.

There’s so much uncertainty about everything that even the smallest things can feel like they’re a huge deal. Take blogging for example. Logically I know that if I only post twice a week no one is going to die. It’s not a life or death situation but the thought still fills me with panic. Am I where I should be with my blog? Why am I not getting as many views as XX? Am I doing enough on my own social media? The list goes on.

We all know we’re not supposed to compare ourselves but, let’s be honest, we all do. My friend has two kids under 10 and worries about career stuff. I have started in my career and worry about having a family in the future. I guess it doesn’t matter where you are, you’re still going to worry about something and feel that you’re not doing it right.

Have any of my fellow bloggers been stuck in this funk before? What did you do to get out of it? Let me know in the comments below!

Did My GCSE Choices Matter?

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Recently I was talking to my younger cousin about what he’s taking at school for his GCSE’s. He rattled off, Geography, Resistant Materials, Business Studies…and one more I’ve forgotten, whoops. Anyway, it got me thinking about my own GCSEs, this summer it will have been 7 years since I left school (which makes me feel a little sick because, um, when did I get old?!) and I’ve never been asked for a job what I did at GCSE.

For the record, I didn’t pick the most academic subjects and by that I mean I didn’t pick any academic subjects. My choice GCSEs were Music, Drama, Art and Textiles, see not one on that list they were all creative and looking back on my emotional, misunderstood self, that makes a lot of sense. Also to me as a very creative adult that makes a lot of sense. Anyway, I’m rambling and getting away from the point. So, I’ve been wondering if what you choose at GCSE makes any difference to your life at all. I don’t think it did to mine.

Now, I know some people will be thinking about jobs like Doctors or Vets in which university admissions basically want you to know that’s what you want to do when you come out of the womb (which is total bullshit, but that’s another post entirely). I get that BUT for the majority of jobs what you choose when you’re full of hormones and spots doesn’t make a huge impact on your adult choices, you can retrain later, you can change your mind. Hell, the job I do now didn’t exist when I was making my choices.

 

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The day I picked up my GCSE results

I got good results, I went on to study at college (enough to add an extra course later on) and then got into university but do you know what? I’ve only been asked once to provide a certificate for my grades, I didn’t get to the interview but that’s one time. I’ve never been asked what I studied at GCSE, it’s never had an impact on my future.

So, did it matter? No, I don’t think it did and I don’t think it does for most people. I don’t think we should put pressure on these kids who make a decision at 14 years old about what they like. Introduce me to one person who still agrees and believes everything they did at that age. I’ve changed since that age, I’ve changed since last year!

What did you take for your GCSEs, do you think it impacted your life? Let me know in the comments!

 

Why Do You Blog?

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I’ve been thinking a lot recently about why people blog after seeing conversations on Twitter about it. There have been some questions about entitlement (which, let’s be honest, there always are) but I think it goes deeper than that. I’ve seen quite new bloggers constantly tweeting and asking about how to make money and get things for free. This really irritated me. Hear me out.

I’ve been writing on this blog for 5 years this summer, I had another one for 2 years before that. I do not make money from my blog. Do I wish I did? Of course, but that’s not the reason that I blog. I blog because I love writing content, connecting with people and just having space on the internet to share my own thoughts and opinions.

This doesn’t mean I haven’t worked with brands or companies. I regularly work with publishers and some small businesses in exchange for gifts. I also know there is a problem with big name brands refusing to pay bloggers for their time, which is ridiculous.

Now as you may know I have a small button on the side of my blog ‘buy me a coffee’, I agonised over putting this in. I didn’t want it to seem that I was demanding this of my readers and I think this is the first time I’ve mentioned it because of that reason.  I thought it would be ok because I’m happy to do it for other bloggers when I have the money to do so.

I’ll put it out there I would love to work with brands, publishers etc and make money from doing this, who wouldn’t? This isn’t a post against that, not at all. I just don’t believe bloggers should go in thinking yep I’m going to write a few bits and make loads of money. You need to love what you do, which most of the blogging community do.

I’m not writing this to rant or blame anyone, it’s just something that hasn’t been sitting well with me recently.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.