Feminist Friday: General Election 2017

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Earlier in the week Prime Minister Theresa May called a General Election for this summer following the UK beginning the exit process for the European Union. On June 8th Britain will take to the polls once again to vote in a new party and a new leader. There have been some questions raised about voting in a female leader simply because they’re female will not equate to equality.

I fully understand that in the US Hillary Clinton lost out due to misogyny, that there is a definite agenda to force women out of politics. That said, we need to look at each party and their promises, not just their leaders because a whole party isn’t made up of one person.

Voting for May, Sturgeon or Caroline Lucas simply because they are women doesn’t make you more of a feminist. Voting for a party that supports and encourages women, does. While having three women in positions of power and within reach of becoming Prime Minister is excellent for politics and our country we need to make the decision based on parties and their impact on the people.

I feel that being a feminist means looking and considering what each party will do for equal rights. What their history is in regards to equality of the sexes. We may only have 6 weeks to decide on who will lead our country for the next few years, but it’s important we make the right decisions for ourselves and our future.

Book Review: The Princess saves herself in this one – Amanda Lovelace

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‘warning I: 

this is not a 

fairy tale.’

I had heard so much about Amanda Lovelace’s collection of poetry. It was hailed a feminist book young women had to read, that spoke the truth and recreated poetry for our generation. I completely agree with this statement. It took me a little while to get my hands on it but I haven’t regretted it.

I wouldn’t call this a happy read as such, but it is one of struggle and perseverance. It is one of not being saved but saving yourself. It chronicles an important stage in a woman’s life, one that I’m personally going through still, where you try and work out who you are and let go of certain people.

This chronicles Lovelace’s life and is split into four parts; The Princess, The Damsel, The Queen and You. Each part looks at a different aspect of Lovelace growing up, how she felt at the time, whilst at the same time keeping the fairytale theme.  I thoroughly enjoyed the transitions into each because it didn’t feel fractured or like it ‘had to fit’.

I hope this is a new beginning in poetry made for and by young people to enjoy. Whilst I can appreciate some of the classics, after all my favourite poet is Sylvia Plath, we need new and exciting poets such as Lovelace to introduce more young people to a new form of poetry.

I gave this a 5 star review. This was a breath of fresh air in poetry and incredibly well written. I look forward to reading more of Lovelace’s work and to see what she does next.

Getting Motivated

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So, this month has been tough, very tough. I wrote a post last week about what’s been going on, why I’ve been quiet on social media (you can read that here) and I’ve had a lot of time to think. I’ve had my time to feel sad and upset about what happened but right now it’s time to get motivated.

I think it’s important to give yourself time to feel what you need to feel when things happen. That said my family and friends make sure that I don’t wallow, that I get on with my life and move on. It’s a new week and it’s time to get motivated.

I have plans for this week, even though I’m at home. I have a full list of plans, things to do and get on with. I’m going to sort out more work, get the house tidy, do some work outs and write like a mad thing! I am more than something that hs happened to me. Was I upset? Yes. Was I in shock? Yes. I doubted myself but I need to try and let that go.

It’s worth saying that the people around you can really help and I’m so grateful in particular to Ali, Abbie, Ben & Joe as well as my family for constantly being there for any help and tearful phone calls I’ve made, you’re all the best.

So this is my declaration to you all, I am not giving up, I have shit to do and the last few weeks won’t define me.

World, I’m coming to get you.

Sunday Seven: Exciting Advance Reader Copies on my to be read pile!

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I’m lucky enough to be a member of Netgalley, which means I am able to request some brilliant books before they are released in return for a review. I wanted to share with you seven of my upcoming reviews!

 

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The Girl From Aleppo – Nujeen 

I want to know more about the Syrian refugees, we need to know about their lives, what they’ve experienced.

 

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The One – John Marrs 

A thriller with a scientific element, I’ve heard nothing but rave reviews and can’t wait to read what John Marrs has to offer.

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The Girl Who Beat ISIS – Farida Khalaf 

Again, this is a story that needs to be heard and remembered. We cannot forget the horrors that have been taking place in our time or look the other way. I look forward to reading Farida’s account.

 

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Before The Fall – Noah Hawley 

I haven’t read a good suspense novel in such a long time. Taking on survival, mystery and intrigue I’m hoping I’m glued to this one. I’m also hoping for a good twist!

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One of us is lying – Karen M.McManus

I got a Breakfast Club vibe from the blurb of this novel but with the added twist of a Hunger Games kind of thing going on, I could be totally wrong, but I’m really hoping I’m not.

 

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Dreadnought – April Daniels 

I heard about this from one of my favourite booktubers over at Problemsofabooknerd. It features superheroes and the LGBTQ community. Sign me up.

 

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A Stitch of Time

I’m all about books about recovery, this talks about Lauren’s recovery after a brain aneurysm, chronicling the highs and lows of trying to get her life back.

Feminist Fridays: Why I’m excited about some dolls.

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As we all know, little girls are expected to like and play with dolls of all variety, I was no different. I had a box of Barbies, piles of Polly Pockets and stacks of generic Baby Dolls. There was something missing though, of course my Barbies started to have jobs (Vet Barbie was a personal favourite), but they rarely kicked butt. They didn’t say to me that girls could be as cool as boys in films, that we weren’t confined to pink and only pink. I didn’t get into Star Wars until I was 20 but damn I needed it. I needed to be reminded that women were powerful and could lead a war.

There are going to be new Star Wars Dolls for Star Wars: Forces of Destiny to accompany a new TV show. I read the news over on the brilliant Heroic Girls and when I saw these dolls I had a wave of excitement. These were posable dolls of some of the most fearless women in the galaxy. Of course, these are going to be collected by fans but for the little girls of today? Little girls who have seen Star Wars and what a girl can do, these dolls are something else. Of course, as time goes by we are starting to see more kick ass dolls on the market, ones that appeal to both boys and girls. Let’s not forget the boys in this, the ones who are told that ‘dolls are for girls’, WRONG.

When I was a kid I used to draw these dolls called ‘Jenny’, I used to draw her in every job that I knew, particularly jobs that I knew people said that boys did. The dolls weren’t there for me so I designed my own. That and I know for a fact one of the boxes for Army Barbie came with the slogan ‘hat and short skirt too!’ Yeah, because that’s going to help when the enemy is firing at you, a short skirt.

Corny or not, kids are the future. How can we expect them to be any better if we don’t teach them about equality as children. That girls and boys can be what they want and play with the toys I want.

Damn right I’m excited about these dolls, and I hope it’s just the beginning.

Book Review: The Dead Inside – Cyndy Etler

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‘I never was a badass. Or a slut, a junkie, a stoner, like they told me I was. I was just a kid looking for something good, something that felt like love. I was a wannabe in a Levi’s jean jacket. Anybody could see that. Except my mother. And the professionals at Straight’

Cyndy Etler has had a difficult life to say the least. After the death of her father as a child she is left with her mother, and later, her husband. As she lives through a torrent of abuse at his hands, her mother simply looks the other way as her daughter cries out. After she finally breaks Cyndy wants nothing more to do with them and runs away, but her new nightmare has only just begun as her mother deposits her to Straight Inc.

When reading this prepare for a story of abuse and misbelief. I was both shocked and appalled at the treatment that Cyndy received from the institution she was placed in. In Cyndy’s words they are extreme forms of physical and mental torture against young people that, to put it simply, were broken. When they entered I can’t help but think may of them had Cyndy’s fire and passion, her spirit. It is, horrific, that these children and that is what they were subjected to, the cruelty and brainwashing.

I will admit that, initially, Cyndy did have a kind of ‘wild child’ personality, however, I would urge you not to dismiss her from this. This is child who has been subjected to horrors before she enters the nightmare of Straight. This, I felt was unclear in the earliest chapters, which could make people distrust or not understand Cyndy. I can understand why it is not so bluntly put, this is a tough and long road for Cyndy, both then and now to describe what happened to her. What I saw the most was a girl who wasn’t loved, who tried to make her own way in the world and who was abused by the people who should have loved her.

I gave the memoir 3.5 stars, not because I didn’t devour it, not because it made my heart hurt but simply because I found myself confused at times about what was happening. The voice speaks true of what was happening and the confusion that Cyndy felt, however, at times it made for difficult reading. There were also some parts which I felt could have been given more time, that said, I know that she has another memoir coming out towards the end of the year, as per her website. I’m hoping that this will let me understand more of Cyndy’s life, recovery and past. Thank you to Cyndy, her publisher and Netgalley for this ARC.

 

 

 

Dealing with the unexpected

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Sometimes life likes to surprise us, and not in the best way.

This time last week I was confused, distraught and wondering what the hell I was going to do. Last week I was told that I was no longer employed, that my contract was not going to be extended. This came completely out of the blue, for all I knew I was ready for my renewal meeting and things were going well. I left in a complete state of shock, how I drove home I’m not quite sure.

Like anyone who’s been in this situation before you go through everything in your head. I questioned everything I’d said or done, had I missed some warning signs? It was so out of the blue. After a few phone calls to Ali, my family and a few close friends I knew what I needed to do, I needed to find a new job. I was on the phone within an hour to contacts and agencies. By Thursday morning I was sat in a recruitment agency.

It’s been a week of emotional ups and downs, particularly as we lost Hamski a few days later. That’s the thing about life though, it doesn’t always play nicely or play fair. Within a few days, I’d spoken to a lot of people got some leads and felt better about myself. I realised that these things do happen and that it wasn’t because I was awful or terrible, I was unlucky this time.

In a week things have gone from feeling incredibly hopeless to being positive again. I realised that it might not be the worse thing. Now I can look for work closer to home so I don’t spend almost an hour commuting each way, because the drive was exhausting. I can meet new people and further my career, I need to fight to stay positive and see the good in this change. Speaking of which, I’m proud to introduce Wickett (named after the Ewok):

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So, let’s see what the rest of the month has to offer…

IBS Awareness Month 2017

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The month of April is for IBS awareness. IBS means Irritable Bowel Syndrome, the NHS website states that:

‘Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a common, long-term condition of the digestive system. It can cause bouts of stomach cramps, bloating, diarrhoea and/or constipation.’

So, it’s not the more pleasant thing to talk about it can be incredibly painful and frustrating waiting for a diagnosis. I had problems with my stomach for a large chunk of my childhood and teenage years. It got to the point that my Mum always had some of the medicine in the cupboard for a rough night. I dealt with it and got on with it.

Later, whilst I was in university I kept getting sick. I had weeks where I couldn’t eat and was weak. It was like a recurrent stomach bug but it always came back. After a lot of tests, scans and a hospital admission  I finally received my diagnoses of IBS.

It is from this I received advice from my doctor about my diet and, surprisingly, a lot of friends stepped forward to offer their stories, their diagnoses. With the help of some medications, I began to live with any ups and downs I have a normal life. I go to work, see friends and deal with it. I’m quite lucky in the fact that I can often get a sense that a flare-up is coming on a good day. If course there are days where I am in pain or bloated, where I curse my own body.

You get to learn about what your body and cannot take, what will make your bowels angry for me it’s alcohol, rich foods or a lot of fast food. I know that I can’t have too much of these things or sometimes any at all. I know that I need to have some clothes to wear that are loose fitting incase I am bloated.

It is possible to live life with IBS. Yes there are hiccups, I know to be careful whenever I got away and am not used to the food but as with any condition you live and learn.

 

Sunday Seven: Self Care

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I’ve had a particularly rough time this week with unexpected sadness and shocks. It has meant that I didn’t always put my own self-care as I should if I’m honest I haven’t been for a little while. Now I’ve had some time to think and self-care is what I need, so here are seven self-care tips.

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Warm drinks 

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A Good Box Set 

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A Good Book

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A Bubble Bath 

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Time With Friends

My favourite places to eat out!

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Food is constantly on my mind, so I wanted to share with you some of my favourite places to eat!

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The Wheatsheaf Dummer 

Whenever there’s a family dinner with my Mum’s side of the family we head off to this pub. It’s slightly outside Basingstoke which means it’s good to get away, have limited phone service and enjoy some good quality food. Lately I’ve also taken Abbie there, we sat near the fire and ate until we were completely full. Also, their Chocolate Fudge Cake is out of this world.

Menu Choice: Hunters Chicken with Chocolate Fudge Cake for dessert. 

Hard Rock Cafe- London 

Where do I start? Amazing burgers, top music, great pin badges, awesome cocktails and pieces of history on the walls. I’ve been long obsessed with Hard Rock Cafe’s around the world, but London will always have a special place in my heart. When I can I love to go, even if it’s just for a cocktail, and sit amongst pieces from some of the people I admire most. It does get busy, but the wait is so, so worth it, once I sat under Madonna’s leather jacket. Enough said.

Menu Choice: Bacon and Cheese Burger, Cocktail (decided on the day) and Ice Cream Sundae after. 

Zizzi’s – Nationwide

Italian food? Check. Good desert menu? Check. Affordable? Check. Every Zizzi’s I have been in has been cheerful, clean, affordable and generally has a nice atmosphere. It doesn’t matter if the place is rammed or almost empty, the servers still have a smile and get your food to you quickly. Extra bonus is that I used to be able to use my student discount, win.

Menu Choice: Tough choice, it’s either the Carbonara or a Margarita (they are HUGE) and for dessert Chocolate Cake that melts in the middle or Mint Icecream 

Coal – Nationwide 

I love eating here for Breakfast or Dinner. It’s busy but in a way that you know the food is good. I’ve had many a good meal at Coal, along with their yummy cocktails when it’s happy hour!

Menu Choice: The Coal Burger and a Pina Colada! 

Nandos – Nationwide 

Who doesn’t love a cheeky Nandos? This is one of my go to places in town centre. Good service, gorgeous chicken and it’s not going to break the bank. The service has always been super quick, which means Nandos is a great choice after a long day when you know what you want.

Menu Choice: Chicken Burger with chips and corn on the Cob.

The Portsmouth Arms – Basingstoke 

This is one of our local pubs and I absolutely love it. It’s a cosy pub that serves a good filling menu with lovely staff. Growing up I knew a lot of people that worked here and even now they’ve left it’s still one of my favourite places to go for dinner. There’s also a pub quiz on a Sunday and gorgeous seating outside for when it’s warm. I also spent the evening of my 18th birthday here.

Menu Choice: Pie and Chips (award winning) and Ice Cream for Dessert

TGI Friday’s – Nationwide 

I have a bit of a love affair going with TGI Friday’s. The food is mouthwatering if you’re looking for burgers, chicken or steak and I could eat their chips all day. There’s always a party atmosphere at TGI’s and I’ve had a wonderful server every single time I’ve gone. My favourite part though? The cocktails. They have one of the best cocktail menu’s I have ever seen or tasted (Key West Coolers are one of my favourites, as well as a Purple Rain). There’s a stack of amazing deserts and if you go on your birthday there’s also some incredible cake.

Menu Choice: Chicken Strips with Jack Daniels Sause, Cocktail (as listed above) and a Ice Cream Sundae for dessert.

Mio Fiore – Newbury 

This small, but wonderful Italian is hidden away in Newbury. I used to go a lot with my old job and everything about it was charming. It’s in a quiet location in a beautiful building with charming staff and some of the best Italian food I’ve ever tasted. If you’re ever around the area or want some authentic Italian food pop down and your tastebuds will thank you later.

Menu Choice: Chicken wrapped in ham resting on potatoes (I can’t remember the Italian for it).

Longbridge Mill – Basingstoke 

Another regular place for Ali and I to eat. We go here a lot for family meals and also had our graduation dinner with my parents here. This place holds a lot of memories for me, when I was a child there was a Pirate Ship play area, I absolutely loved it and so my parents would take me in the summer evenings. They’d struggle to get me to stay still enough to eat my food! Now Ali and I regularly meet his dad for dinner and although there is no pirate ship anymore it does have a great menu and warm hearted staff.

Menu Choice: Steak with chips, dessert Chocolate Brownie.

Wetherspoons (Nationwide) 

I’ve spent many an evening in a Wetherspoons for some cheap and tasty food and a few drinks, need I say more?

Menu Choice: Chicken Strips with Absolute Vanilla Vodka and Coke.

Where do you think I should try next?

Let me know in the comments below!