I’m Dyslexic!

After 19 years on the planet and 14 years in the education system I can finally say I am dyslexic! Today I trudged to my appointment quite nervous but I didn’t need to be my assessor was so lovely and made me completely at ease. There was one thing though, I found the tests a lot more difficult that I thought I would. In the past I’d taken similar tests and hadn’t found them that hard, which is why nothing was made much of an issue, I wonder now though if I had been trying too hard. As you’ll probably know from earlier blog posts I don’t like failing at anything. If my assessor hadn’t been so lovely I would have got incredibly nervous and stressed when I started struggling.

The end result was that I was obviously dyslexic, something I should have known before. I don’t have the final report but I have a problem with my short term memory, the way I hear things such as phonics and sounds and the rate my brain processes things is a lot slower than the average person. There are a few other things too but I can’t quite remember, either way so many things make sense now! I got incredibly excited when she began explaining what the tests meant and when I asked her about certain situations she said it was part of my dyslexia.

I’ll be talking to my driving instructor about this too as now it’s confirmed there can be special allowances made in my test to allow for the slow processing.I would also like to point out that there are so many different types of dyslexia that it doesn’t just meant people can’t read and write there are many different things. I struggle in particular with spelling, grammar, punctuation as well as that I REALLY struggle with telling my left from my right (which was incredibly embarrassing the older I got). Now I have to talk to the DSA so I can get help with my studies in the form of a mentor who specialises in dyslexia. So a tip for any of you out there who are struggling and feel you could have dyslexia, talk to your uni! I was able to get my test for free because of my household income (otherwise they are £300). It really could help you get the grade you deserve!

I’m definitely glad I’m at University

Today I spent the afternoon with my Mum, Nanna and sister Summer on the stall. Now this is nothing new, I’ve been helping Mum on various stalls for as long as I can remember and I really enjoyed it. As a kid I would scour car boot sales looking for good that I could sell on and make a small profit on (I still do that now, although I’m not as good at it as Mum). Today however we were at a baby/toddler sale, oh my lord I felt weird.

I saw so many people my age or a little older with children and it scared the living daylights out of me! When I lived at home I didn’t think twice about it but for some reason going to uni has changed me. The thought of having children right now is terrifying, I’m 19 years old and as much as I find other peoples kids adorable I like giving them back.

I feel like I have so much more potential though, so do a lot of people. I’m not saying that having children young is a bad thing, I have a friend currently studying Law at uni with an adorable 2 year old (coincidently my goddaughter, who gives THE cutest hugs), she’s doing fine. I have other friends who have children too but for me, I feel like I don’t know who I am or what I want to do.

My logic is that when I have kids I want to be able to tell them things and give them life advice. In light of this uni is the greatest thing, I get to do so much and really find out what I want in life. These are the kinds of things that go through my brain because I’ve realised how much I’ve changed in the last year, so I’m gonna carry on working on that.

Headed Home!

Today I raced through uni with Ali’s suitcase behind me, casually knocking the ankles of the people around me. I frantically got through my day before running to the bus trying not to miss my train…I didn’t need to do that I was 20 minutes early in the end. Although by tonight I knew my weekend wouldn’t be as planned I will be spending some time with my family and not to mention my dog. So now I’m cuddled up on my bed with Children in Need on (although I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve cried some of these stories are just horrible). Today has been quite odd though, I spent 45 minutes trying to sort Ali’s present followed by a job interview I now have on Sunday. What can I say, it’s good to be home!!

The essay countdown

There is a point that every student gets too, the dreaded essay countdown. Now mine isn’t for another few weeks, unfortunately Ali and Ben don’t have that luxury. I got the bus up to Kingston Hill expecting to meet Ali as he was just finishing his essay, that wasn’t quite true and Ben wasn’t finished either. So we watched the clock as the hours ticked down and got to work, I hate to say it but at times I was like their mother. It worked though, by the time I got my bus at 10pm both of the boys had finished and submitted their work now I’m hoping I can call back the favour in a few weeks when my clock is ticking. Surprisingly though it was such a nice time, we might have been going through essay structure all night (a blessing and a curse, luckily I quite liked helping the boys) but it was fun. I was thinking about doing a little top tips thing but I can’t really do that until I’ve submitted my own, wish me luck!

Can I also mention the lack of pictures is because of my broken phone! More to come soon!

Trying to carry on

I hate to use this blog in any way to rant but I think I’ve been pushed to my limit. As much as I want to be positive all the time I’m not and I don’t think it’s fair to pretend to you all that I am. My transfer got declined and it was a huge blow, so I’m stuck on Creative Writing for the rest of the year and I’m not ashamed to say that I cried. My brain feels like it’s going to explode all I want to do it be FREE!!! I miss writing, I miss enjoying writing for myself and not doing exercises that take the fun out of creating a character. I miss not being able to travel the world through a character. I miss being  a writer.

It’s not because it’s a bad course I know a lot of people who really enjoy it, it’s just not for me at all. I think mostly it’s down to the way I write. I have until March on the course  I keep trying but it is driving me insane and I just want to study full field. Half the problem is me being a perfectionist I can’t stand the thought that there will be even a slight mark on my transcript forever and I know that’s stupid but it’s just how much I care. I worked so damn hard to get here and now all I can think is that I made the wrong damn choice last year and I should have just taken full field. The thought of ‘just passing’ makes me feel ill, I just can’t stand not getting 100% out of this. The worst thing is that it’s not because I’m bad at the course I get great feedback, I’m just really bored at the moment.

Despite saying  this I’m going carry on and go to all of my classes. My English Literature tutor has once again been an angel, along with the Director of Studies for English, they have kindly offered their time so I can build my skills and be ready for second year. In a lot of ways I feel incredibly lucky that I came to Kingston, the support network is incredible here. As well as all this I also have some pretty awesome people around. I can’t be positive all the time and that’s ok, I guess it’s what makes me human we all have bad days sometimes….I just have to find a way to deal with them.

Things I like to do at Uni

There are many different way to enjoy Uni. It took me quite a while to be comfortable with who I am here because I don’t really do the ‘normal’ student things. I’ve posted before about being yourself and to all of you guys reading I’m going to be honest, this is a tricky one. It seems so cliché for me to do the whole ‘who am I?’ thing, I know you don’t want to read it, so I wont.   What I am going to do right now is be brutally honest about what I enjoy about uni at the moment (it may change) and be totally honest.

Going to the pub

 

This week I went on a spontaneous trip to the pub, it was the most comfortable I’d felt in town in a while. The best thing? There was no pressure to get drunk, we sat, chatted and laughed oh and we ate,  that’s always a good thing. I love my friends and these guys in particular know me well enough to respect my choices

Eating out!

These are a few of my Kingston Hill friends on a trip to Frankie and Benny’s, I’ve started to love eating out although maybe that’s because I’m hopeless at cooking…

Changing things for other students

So there isn’t a picture for this one but I’ve started trying to get involved with helping other students, the blog was just the start! I’m in talks with the Student Union about Mental Health and I will be applying to be a Student Ambassador to hopefully work with potential students and be as good to them as our student ambassadors were to me.

Film nights with the girls 

Ok so this picture was from army night but you get the jist. Christie and I love film nights when we’re both here, Dream Girls is next on the list!

Making music

This one hasn’t change and I hope it never does, this photo is from the SU website after we played in there a week or two ago, I met some really great people there too 🙂

Getting involved in what I want to study

I get really excited about having options of what I can study. There are so many possibilities within Literature! I may sound like a geek but in a way I am so glad because that means I chose the right thing to study, bring on second year options!!

Being a part of ‘Amy moments’ 

This girl makes me laugh so much! There are things that just seems to be classic ‘Amy moments’ for example dancing around the Spoons toilets and triumphing over the Henry Hoover….as I said ‘Amy moment’s

Cuddling up with the best guy in the world

We might act old but I love this guy and cuddles are THE best thing in the world after a long day.

BLOGGING! 

Well this one is fairly obvious isn’t it 🙂

A visit from my Mummy!

Slightly worse for ware after all the rain…..

Last night I was excited beyond belief, my Mum was finally coming to properly visit Kingston! Despite not sleeping through the night and feeling awful when I got up we both got the the station at the same time for a very lovely cuddle. I love it when my Mum is here, although I have to admit it is a bit weird! This is going to be a brief post as I’m heading up to Kingston Hill tonight to help some lovely boys with their essays.

Although it wasn’t for long, having Mum up here made me realise that I’m actually pretty settled now. I loved showing her around, taking her on the bus (while she was very pleased she could pretend to be a student) and just generally telling her everything about uni. The best thing though was how much we laughed today, I’ve missed just laughing with my Mum and our silly sense of humour. After out christmassy hot drinks it was time for her to go though but I’ll be seeing her again this weekend along with the rest of my family!!

We like to sleep all day….and that’s about it

I’m sorry in advance for this post being short but as you can tell from the title I didn’t get much done today. After staying up talking to my flatmate Jamie (and then my very drunk flat mate Jay) until 4am I did intend to get up. I actually did get up at 11.30 and had a shower, then I got up again at 2.00 and again at 4.00, this is definitely not like me but now my headaches gone and I’ve had a lazy student day! 

Tomorrow I have my Mum coming to visit so hopefully there will be more to write about! 

Reasons why I don’t mix well with clubbing.

Last night I took the plunge and actually went out to a club…it’s easy to say that I wasted a fiver. It was my flat mates 18th birthday so I went out with her and some of her friends after pre drinks at the flat. I was nervous but I needed to give it a go for the sake of trying more than anything (even though I was absolutely freezing). So we went and luckily we were on the list so we didn’t have to queue for long, however this was my first encounter of an idiot boy during the night. So the little boy as I’m going to call him decided it was funny to tell his friends that he wanted to ‘spit on us’ because we were on the list, absolutely charming. It didn’t get better, I started to lose more faith in people my own age. Now I know that sounds really dramatic but oh my lord you should have seen some of the people in the club last night!

Anyway, I’m not here to gossip. We went into what is called ‘cheese night’ I had been told by a lot of people this was one of the places to go on a Friday night. I was told it was fun, loads of music to dance around to from your childhood or just great songs to be silly too. I found it really weird, I knew 90% of the songs but when I looked around it was all alien to me. People were stood around and there was a clear divide between girls and boys and absolutely everyone was wasted. I thought I’d get into the party, drinking spirit but it just wasn’t that fun. Most of the girls were falling all over each other and some were wearing skirts so short I could clearly see their knickers while a lot of gross guys leaned against the wall shouting things at them or eyeing anyone up. To sum it up I felt old and out of place. 

The night ended with me running in tears for the bus after getting separated from my friends, luckily Ali was at the other end of the phone to make me feel better. I got back at 2am, showered and got ready for bed, I’d learnt my lesson clubbing really isn’t my scene. The problem with this is that I’m not a conventional student, so I don’t really know what to do with myself now. I sit in at night doing work and watching TV most of the time thinking about what I can do. I want to go places and do things but the problem is trying to locate people who arn’t busy to do these things with, I swear EVERYONE is always out! Ok so maybe not but still. If I’m honest I do find it hard not being with Ali as much, I’ve become a clingy pain in the arse when I’m alone and that’s NOT ok. I vow to you my lovely readers I will change and start exploring…it’s just finding out what I want to do.

6 Tips for choosing your course

Ok so there comes time where certain students *cough,cough* end up changing their minds about what course they want to do. Now when I was at college I thought this was crazy, how hard is it to choose a course? Here’s the answer, very and a lot of people change their minds along the way. As we all know you don’t get that much time between finishing your first year at college and having to know what you want to study. Here are a few tips for you, yes you sitting there thinking you have all the time in the world. You don’t.

1. Do you have any idea what you want to do? 

If you do that’s fantastic and you are one of the very few lucky ones who has a clear goal in mind, skip ahead. For those of you who are like me and have no idea what you want to be when you grow up here’s the plan. Ask yourself 3 questions..

– What do I like to do?

– Is there anything I’m interested in that I could study?

– Is Uni the only option for this? (I added this one as uni doesn’t suit everyone and for over £8000 you don’t want to be forced into going)

2. Why do I want to go to Uni? 

There are so many reasons people go to Uni but let me put this simply it’s not all parties. We all hear tales of the freshers that come back in the summer months claiming to be drunk every night and asleep all day, I’ll tell you now that rarely happens. I’m sorry to burst your bubble but if that is why you’re coming to uni then you will have a rude awakening. You are encouraged to meet friends and have fun but at the end of the day you are at uni to work, that’s what you’re PAYING for! Make sure you’re applying with some motivation to actually do the work when you get there because no one wants to repeat first year.

3. Where do I want to be? 

Location,location, location. When I started looking at Uni’s the most important thing was where I felt at home at my first open day at Kingston I didn’t think it would win at all. It felt busy and crowded and ugly, something I really didn’t want. My heart was set on the beach and I actually told someone at Kingston this on my first visit then I visited again…and again. I fell in love with it and now I’m here Kingston Hill is one of my favourite places (and I don’t even study there). My main advice for this is don’t just look at the Uni itself go and look at the surrounding areas, I’m sure I would have fallen in love with Kingston the first time had I done that.

4. Visit as many Open Days as possible…and try and see through the free sweets

 Every University you visit are trying to pull you in, remember that. Some give away prizes, sweets,chocolate,pen etc. in order to try and persuade you but really think about what you want to know (plus you get all this in freshers week anyway). You’ll be paying off the debt for a very long time so you need to be sure of the University and what it stands for. One of the reasons I liked Kingston and decided to apply was because I really felt like there were no stupid questions ( I still feel like that now actually) and that I would be taken on as a person, not a statistic. Don’t be scared to talk about yourself and what you need either, if you have a worry or an issue be open with them, see what they say.

5. Talk to people who have studied your subject

My boyfriends cousin was so helpful with this. She was finishing her final year at Uni when I was applying so any questions I had she could tell me the truth. Don’t always trust forums though because some people will try to scare you, especially if you’re moving to London. Not everyone has a helpful family member so try talking to your subject teachers, ask your uni if they have any way you can talk to students (Kingston have a whole blog set up where current students can answer any questions you have).

6. If you make the wrong decision don’t panic! 

 So I’ve done the UCAS, the exams, freshers week, THE LOT. Guess what? I chose the wrong damn course. Although these are tips people get to uni and realise that they were wrong and that’s ok. It took me a while to admit that I didn’t like my Creative Writing course but now I have things are being sorted out. I can sleep knowing that next year I’ll be full field Literature and it wont make a difference to my overall degree. So if you get a bit stuck go and talk to someone, everyone can make a mistake the important part is to fix it.