After the excitement of heading out in my car for the first time last weekend I decided to head back once again and well…practice. I can’t say anything amazingly interesting has happened because it hasn’t but it was nice to get out and about, on my own this time. I will have much more to write about soon but right now things are a bit dull!
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This Time
This afternoon I had the euphoric and exhausting delight of finishing the third song on our EP!!!!!! It only took about 4 hours and endless takes but it’s the quickest we’ve finished a song which was an amazing feeling. The song is called This Time I think it was the second song I properly wrote up here, it was about moving and just having that feeling that every time you move you’ll get it right this time and move on.
Without realising I started writing about myself and how I was feeling at the time. I wanted everything to change and work out instantly at uni and it didn’t, so I realised that maybe it was me. I suppose if I’m being arty about it all my songs are how I work things out in my head. I haven’t written one in a little while I’ve been so focused on performing but I’m hoping the summer will bring out more songs to jam out with the boys in September.
“If you’re alwa…
“If you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”- Maya Angelou
Today the world lost an incredible woman. Writer, Activist and Survivor you can be sure that Maya Angelou will be remembered by thousands around the globe for her fight for equality. As all of the quotes came exploding over the internet this one in particular caught my eye. I had read one of her books for a project I did in college about African American women, once it got to 8000 words I had to stop but I so, so wish I could have researched this incredible woman more.
This quote really hits home with me personally. I write a lot about my experience and I feel like this speaks to me, especially when I’m not feeling that great. There is a huge pressure to be ‘normal’ and most of the time I feel like I’m not. I don’t like going out clubbing, I’m one of the few people who aren’t majorly involved with a club or society and I’m not a huge fan of halls. I tried changing the way I dressed to please people on my courses, I tried drinking more than I was comfortable with and sometimes just tried to change being myself.
So I’m going try just being me and seeing how that goes. So thank you Maya Angelou for your words and wisdom and may you rest in peace.
Me at GCSE
Me on my last day of school! I think the smile tells you all you need to know
Today as part of my work as a Student Ambassador I worked on a project called KU + ME, it’s a two day revision session. English was one of my favourite courses at GCSE level and so I thought helping out today would make sense and I loved it. Despite the 8.15am start I had a great day and really enjoyed helping the kids and talking to them about their futures and they all seemed so happy and optimistic about the future. It got me thinking about when I was taking my own GCSE exams this time 3 years ago (gulp). I was a very different person to who I am and thankfully I was focused on going to college but at that age I wasn’t even considering uni at all (I used to think £3000 a year was a lot of money haha!).
I wasn’t a great student back then either, I hated school and if I’m honest I wasn’t there much for reasons I now understand. I wouldn’t sleep at night, I got bad tummy pain for no reason what so ever, I was constantly teary and I would just shut down if I went to school and wait for it to be over. That year was a very hard year in my life and coming out with the results I had made me very proud of myself. For quite a few of my classes I taught myself at home a lot after being signed off by various doctors for different reasons, mainly being exhausted. Can you see a pattern yet? I was suffering with my depression pretty badly at this point and there are chunks I don’t remember at all.
You might think that being this ill to a point where going to school made me incredibly depressed would make my exams seem like a nightmare. They weren’t. They worried me, obviously but I had some provisions put in place because of how ‘stressed’ I used to get. I can’t thank the wonderful ladies in the Learning Support Unit at my old school enough. It took the pressure off and I just focused on my exams, as with how I am now, when I could focus on my own on my studies it was almost as if they were a sort of escape. Weird I know but towards the end of year 11 my whole focus was on college, I was meeting Ali almost every day and it just seemed an incredible thing.
I look back at that girl who was having such a shitty time and I want to give her a hug and say you know what? You’ll be ok. At the time I didn’t want to hear that, I wanted a magical answer and I still do I suppose. I got though it and I’m damn glad I did because just think if my smile was that big on GCSE results day, how big will it be on graduation day? 🙂
The day I got my AMAZING results, after being told I wouldn’t pass I got good enough grades to take an additional AS.
Real girls EAT CAKE!
So I’ve fallen in love with a song lately. My sister showed this song to me and yes it is explicit content but it’s funny, it’s catchy and I like the message. The song is called Real Girls Eat Cake! I can’t think of a better message especially young girls like my sister ( if you don’t mind the swearing). Food wise I’ve always tried to be a good role model for my sister I always eat in front of her I always encourage her to not worry about stupid fad diets and to love herself (although she is the tiniest thing!).
I wanted to share this song with you all because I love it! It’s just so catchy and I’ve had it on repeat for about an hour and it just makes me smile. This is the great thing about my female friends all the ones who have the same sense of humour as me love it too, especially my friend Sonia! I want you all to enjoy this and go eat some bloody cake! Yeah about that… the first place I went other than the petrol station in the car? Sainsbury’s. This was with the sole intention of buying fresh cream cakes for my family because I love them…and I got lost on the way to Tesco’s the night before.
I want to be positive about food because I have had issues in the past with how I felt about myself and I took it out on my food and it meant I didn’t enjoy it. I’m still not that keen on cooking, but I’m sure that will pass as soon as I’m back to a clean kitchen, not halls! I may have to track down some lovely cake tomorrow though because real girls eat cake 😉
Basingstoke, Kingston, Kingston, Basingstoke
So I’m lying here, thinking about life and stuff. Yeah now that is original as a start to a blog post isn’t it. It’s been good to be at home fore the past few days I’ve actually been writing a bit as well as driving around, ok driving around a lot. I love being at home but I’m realising as soon as I get to the few days point in Basingstoke I start getting bored and used to it. Like the roads for example I’m used to them now, I know where to go and I’m totally at ease, I can’t wait to drive to Kingston!
Not all of Basingstoke is boring though, today I got to see my beautiful Goddaughter and take out my sister and cousin Lola. It was just something simple, a McDonalds and a walk around town but it’s things like this I absolutely love about being home, spending time with the people I love. Although I didn’t get as big a conversation with Lucy (Lexi’s mum) as I wanted because of all the little people running around but it made me smile and wore me out!
I am missing Kingston though, although I don’t feel as divided any more I just have two homes now and two lives that link sometimes but not all the time. I don’t feel stressed about it any more I’m just hoping that the good spell will carry on. I’m definitely getting more used to things and feeling better! 
Big updates coming! Sorry for being so quiet! All shall be revealed 🙂
Here, There, Everywhere!
Now that I have a set of wheels no one can stop me. I will do anyone any favour and do absolutely anything to get out and about in the car. After going out with Summer yesterday she decided she wanted to come along with me today as well so being me I headed to one of the busiest supermarkets in Basingstoke. The reason? I felt like cake and in trying to find it last night I got lost. Off to Sainsburys it was (and I nearly got lost on the way there as well!). I bought the whole family cakes and then had to try and get out of the car park, not too difficult.
Then came the real challenge of the day, the pets at home car park crawling and with tiny spaces. Long story short I’m not that good at parking, it takes me a lot of practice and longer than most at the moment but eventually I will be able to park just as easily of everyone else…I hope. Pretty much the only way you can keep me out of the car is if it has no petrol in it…which hasn’t happened yet! I cant still get to grips with town centre in the evening but drive well enough in the day.
Watch out guys my Astra can take over the world! Or you know the M3…when I get around to tackling it anyway.
First time in my new car!!
I decided that after placement today it would be a great idea to surprise my Mum and head home on the train before getting to go out in my new car! This will only be a quick post but after the months of waiting going out tonight was incredible. I also got to share the first ride with my baby sister who was seriously impressed with my skills! I’ve been out again on my own just cruising around it feels incredible but all that concentrating has made me sleepy so I’m off to bed before another day of driving tomorrow 😀
Works night out!
Adam and I, I’m sure going to miss this guy!
Tonight I found myself in the pub again but this time with different friends and making new friends! My job as a Student Ambassador lets me do a lot of things and tonight it was a night out with my fellow KUSAs to say goodbye and goodluck to the thirds years because we’re going to lose them.
I’m really proud of myself because I was so nervous and I really threw myself into the night out and made a lot of new friends. I absolutely loved it and may have had a few more ciders than I planned with dinner but it was all in fun despite the rain! I really love some of the third years and it’s going to be so weird having them leave and being a second year ambassador, I can only hope I can do as much by the time I’m a third year.
So there we are the second night in a row of having fun and actually being out and I’m really enjoying myself! It’s unbelievable how much passing my test has boosted my confidence and made myself feel better!
Chloe Metzger 