Me on my last day of school! I think the smile tells you all you need to know
Today as part of my work as a Student Ambassador I worked on a project called KU + ME, it’s a two day revision session. English was one of my favourite courses at GCSE level and so I thought helping out today would make sense and I loved it. Despite the 8.15am start I had a great day and really enjoyed helping the kids and talking to them about their futures and they all seemed so happy and optimistic about the future. It got me thinking about when I was taking my own GCSE exams this time 3 years ago (gulp). I was a very different person to who I am and thankfully I was focused on going to college but at that age I wasn’t even considering uni at all (I used to think £3000 a year was a lot of money haha!).
I wasn’t a great student back then either, I hated school and if I’m honest I wasn’t there much for reasons I now understand. I wouldn’t sleep at night, I got bad tummy pain for no reason what so ever, I was constantly teary and I would just shut down if I went to school and wait for it to be over. That year was a very hard year in my life and coming out with the results I had made me very proud of myself. For quite a few of my classes I taught myself at home a lot after being signed off by various doctors for different reasons, mainly being exhausted. Can you see a pattern yet? I was suffering with my depression pretty badly at this point and there are chunks I don’t remember at all.
You might think that being this ill to a point where going to school made me incredibly depressed would make my exams seem like a nightmare. They weren’t. They worried me, obviously but I had some provisions put in place because of how ‘stressed’ I used to get. I can’t thank the wonderful ladies in the Learning Support Unit at my old school enough. It took the pressure off and I just focused on my exams, as with how I am now, when I could focus on my own on my studies it was almost as if they were a sort of escape. Weird I know but towards the end of year 11 my whole focus was on college, I was meeting Ali almost every day and it just seemed an incredible thing.I look back at that girl who was having such a shitty time and I want to give her a hug and say you know what? You’ll be ok. At the time I didn’t want to hear that, I wanted a magical answer and I still do I suppose. I got though it and I’m damn glad I did because just think if my smile was that big on GCSE results day, how big will it be on graduation day? 🙂
The day I got my AMAZING results, after being told I wouldn’t pass I got good enough grades to take an additional AS.