Category: feminism

Feminist Friday: Born or Becoming a Woman?

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If you’ve ever studied Feminism or Women’s writing you’ll know the quote I’m thinking of when I started to write this post. It started in France with one of the greatest feminist writers of all time; ‘one is not born, but rather becomes a woman’ Simone de Beauvior argued and how right she was. There’s a lot of debate in feminism about what feminism means to each and every one of us. I enjoy debate, it’s healthy in an intelligent society as long as we are willing to listen to each other.

I truly believe that no one is born into a gender. I wrote essay after essay in university about how gender is socially constructed, it’s not in our DNA. I loved those classes, because I really passionately believed in de Beauvior, in Judith Butler etc, I also wanted to apply it to a modern problem. Something that many wanted to ignore. I 100% believe we need to include Transgender women in the fight for equality and feminism. A few years ago Germaine Greer made very unfair and uneducated assumptions about Trans women.

While I myself am I white Cis female, I care very strongly about the LGBTQ community. I truly believe that all women, no matter what, have a right to equality. There’s no one shape for a woman, no one idea, that’s what feminism is about! Being ourselves and being respected. In each culture there is an idea of what a man is supposed to be and what a woman is supposed to be, it’s not hard-wired because of our genitals. It’s who we feel we are.

If someone goes through the experience of living in the wrong body, having to tell that to the people they love in the fear of rejection and then try to fit in with other women then, damn, they’ve tried harder than me. If they are not a woman then I am certainly not. I have my own struggles, problems and issues, we all do but to be insulted after all that and be told you’re still not accepted? I don’t believe in it, to me it goes against everything feminism stands for. We are what is in our hearts, not our pants.

We each become who we are, who we feel we are inside. Some become women, some become men. We, hopefully, become who we are inside.

I’d love to open up a conversation with you all in the comments below or on Twitter about this! If I have any trans readers who maybe want to talk privately DM me (@chloemetzger) or drop me an email on chloefmetzger@gmail.com, as always I’d love to hear from you all!

 

 

Feminist Friday: Standing With Our Sisters in 2017

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It would be easy to say that, so far, 2017 hasn’t been a great year for women around the world. With the new President often making sexist comments, wanting to shut down Planned Parenthood, make abortions illegal etc, we thought we’d seen a bad hit. We came back with marches around the world. Later Russia were happy to decriminalise domestic abuse in the first instance, another hard pill to swallow for women. Every day we hear more and more stories in the news of girls being the victims of honour killings, acid attacks and the like. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, scared and confused about how things have gone so, so wrong when it’s only February.

Of course, we’ve also seen women and men speaking out against such injustices. Speak out against the governments letting women down and continuing to do so. I worried, when writing this blog that I was talking about the USA again. I feel like I think and write about it a lot, this isn’t because the UK doesn’t have it’s problems, it’s not because I don’t care about women who have it worse, it’s because I need to process what’s happening in what is supposedly one of the most forward thinking nations on the planet.

In these times of darkness, uncertainty and, quite frankly, madness, we need to be there for each other. We need to remember what has come before, that we prevailed. Now that we have social media we can show our support to causes all over the world, let our sisters know they are not alone, that we are thinking and campaigning alongside them. We don’t know what is going to happen, I wish I could say this is all a nightmare that will be over soon, but it might not.

All we have in this fight is each other, fighting amongst ourselves is what they want. Instead of tearing each other down or judging one another we need to lift each other up. We need to let men be our allies if they are willing to stand and fight with us for equality and against the government (hating all men won’t get us any further, it just won’t).

We will stand with our sisters in 2017 and beyond.

Sunday Seven: My Favourite Signs From Women’s Marches Worldwide

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Yesterday millions marched across the world against the 45th president of the United States and his hatred and misogyny. While unfortunately, I couldn’t be marching with them, I was supporting them. I wanted to use today’s post to share some of the brilliant pictures I’ve seen across the internet in the last 24 hours.

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This is one of the first the caught my eye, because it’s true.

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I loved this because to me, he is like a fictional villain, and that’s worrying in itself.

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Men supporting women is important and it’s important to note that there were men supporting the marches too, they’re using their voices too, which is needed.

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Do I need to say more about why this is such a strong image?

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A strong statement on so many levels.

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Princess Leia was one of the first characters to be a strong female. It’s only right that she was there too.

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It’s important to remember that this march was about so much more than women, it was about anyone who has felt marginalised and like they need to raise their voices.

Feminist Friday: Currently Reading – Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay.

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I thought I would do something a little different for tonight’s blog, based on what I’m currently reading. I’ve had Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist on my TBR for such a long time and I’ve finally got around to picking it up and reading it. So far it’s a chatty, funny and thoughtful reflection on life as a woman and feminist. It’s also my first book about feminism this year, I have a long list I want to get through and Gay is just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve included her Ted Talk below for those of you who want to know more.

Enjoy!

Feminist Friday: Star Wars Special

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I’ve just gotten back from watching the latest part of the Star Wars series, Rogue One. Before going in I debated whether or not to do a Star Wars special post on Feminist Friday, because of course I know that there are some issues with Star Wars from a feminist standpoint (that gold bikini was a huge mistake, so was Padme’s ‘oops my shirt got ripped’ outfit) BUT I firmly believe that despite some smaller things Star Wars gave a huge boost to woman and girls everywhere. Star Wars provided kick-ass female role models.

In the pictures above, if you don’t know, are of Princess Leia from the original trilogy, Jyn from Rogue One, Rey from The Force Awakens and Padme from the prequels. In each film there has been a strong female in central focus. Firstly Princess Leia, while she is dressed in white and helped (not saved) by Luke and Han initially she doesn’t act with feminine worship and gratitude. Leia knows what she needs to do and she’s going to do it, with or without a scruffy nerf-herder, a Wookie and a Jedi in training. In the next set of films that were released (in the wrong order, we’ll let that go for now) Padme aka Queen Amidala, a strong leader in her own right and respected in the senate. Moving on to last years stunning release, Rey is the centre of the latest trilogy, while we don’t know much about her she’s strong, fast and highly intelligent. Lastly, tonight I watched the character of Jyn, a leader and a fighter. These characters are incredible, intelligent and strong women.

Whenever I watch these films, I just feel an immense sense of pride that women are being represented this way on screen. As leaders, as fighters, not simply being saved. This is what we need more of in the film industry. Women can still have relationships, fall in love but that doesn’t make them unable to fight in a rebellion, to have ideas and stand up for themselves. I get a heart full of joy when I go to conventions and events and see little kids dressed as Leia or Rey, because they’re dressing up as powerful role models, people who they can look up to.

There’s already so many reasons I love Star Wars and these kick-ass ladies just make me love it more.

Feminist Friday: Bitch. 

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I try not to get bothered by words anymore, sexist words I try and ignore but recently the word ‘bitch’ has made me furious. It’s the way it’s thrown around by some people, any woman is a ‘silly bitch’ a ‘stupid bitch’ or ‘dumb bitch’. Why is this word used so much to joke about or degrade women?

I feel confused often about how I feel about words. Do I need to get this angry or upset? Does it matter? I just get pissed off that there are men in particular who I know that use the word bitch so flippantly. I am upset, I am annoyed and right at this moment I don’t care if people think I’m making a fuss. I’m sick of terms like this being throw around and assumptions being made because I am in the possession of a vagina.

This is a shorter post and more of a mind explosion but it needed to be said.

Feminist Fridays: Wherever You Will Grow

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When I decided to write this post I didn’t really think about the image I’d display with it. I thought that there would be at least one creative comms picture of a woman with body hair. While trying to find that picture I realised how much posts on this topic were needed. I want you to think about the last time you saw a picture of a woman who grew her body hair.

I want you to think about the last time you saw a picture of a woman who grew her body hair. Now think about where you saw that image. I can almost guarantee it wasn’t in a magazine promoting a product, on a billboard or in the latest film you saw. There might be the odd ad campaign such as H&M’s ‘she’s a lady;, but that’s not the norm. Girls are told as soon as possible to ditch the body hair. Do you remember when you first asked your Mum to wax or shave? Or perhaps you remember the first time it was done to you. I was 12 when I first had my eyebrows waxed and in my first year of secondary school when I started shaving my legs.

I don’t understand the fascination with what other people do with their bodies. Do I personally want to grow out my body hair and dye it crazy colours, no, not at all. I do wonder though whether my aversion to my own body hair is because of this social expectation placed on women, I’ve grown up with it and it’s all I’ve experienced. There is this oddity of a woman who doesn’t shave, who just lets it grow like a man and it’s so strange. Similarly to an extent men who want to get rid of all of their body hair are also judged.

All of this stress, money and shame that comes along with body hair, a natural growing thing, just seems bizarre to me. We’re not all the same, were not matching dolls smooth and hairless. There are so many other things in the world so why are we worried about whether people shave or grow some hair on their bodies?

It makes no sense to me so screw everyone else, do what you want to do with the way your body looks! There’s more to all of us than just some hair follicles and what we choose to do with them.

Feminist Fridays: You’re Not Guilty, Just Hungry

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In the last few days I’ve found myself using negative language in regards to food, when talking about eating a cupcake or getting take out with a friend I’ve been describing eating these things as ‘bad’ or ‘naughty’. I’ve been surrounded by other women talking about a ‘naughty’ slice of cake or hating themselves for not sticking only to fruit. I’ve also noticed that I hardly ever hear men speaking like this. I don’t hear men worrying about getting into a certain outfit for Christmas events.

I don’t know where this came from. Why there’s this idea of naughty food. Actually, that’s a lie, I know exactly where it came from. It came from diets, from women being told that to be beautiful they must look a certain way. Of course, if we’re having a little history lesson here, the concept of beauty changes throughout time. Look at the early 2000s when everyone who was anyone strived to get to a size 0, whereas a hundred years ago being that thin was seen as a sign of poverty, to be bigger was to be more desirable.

With Christmas just around the corner so many of us are denying ourselves the food we want to slip into a dress perhaps. I’ve been told by countless women they’ll buy clothes they know are too small in order to make them lose weight. Now, I’ll make it clear I’m not against anyone looking after themselves and being fit and healthy but I do wonder what impact this will have in the long term. How linking food to behaviour will impact not only us but those around us. By calling a piece of food good or bad will impact us mentally with these feelings of guilt that really don’t belong.

So I’ll say it and I want you to repeat it. I’m not guilty, just hungry. Life is short, while I know we all want to be our best selves eating a muffin while you’re out for coffee with your friends isn’t the end of the world. Buying a dress in your actual size and knowing you’ll be comfortable rather than struggling and feeling self-conscious if it doesn’t fit isn’t a terrible thing.  If you’re hungry, eat. Starving yourself and denying yourself won’t make you happy. You’re beautiful just the way you are.

Feminist Friday: 10 Fab Feminist Quotes

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“Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”
― Sheng Wang 

“We need to reclaim the word ‘feminism’. We need the word ‘feminism’ back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist – and only 42% of British women – I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? ‘Vogue’ by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?” 

― Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Womanpexels-photo-1

“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.”
― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, We Should All Be Feminists

“Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and naming for you; it means learning to respect and use your own brains and instincts; hence, grappling with hard work.”
― Adrienne Rich

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“Feminism is not a dirty word. It does not mean you hate men, it does not mean you hate girls that have nice legs and a tan, and it does not mean you are a ‘bitch’ or ‘dyke’; it means you believe in equality.” – Kate Nash 

“Women are leaders everywhere you look — from the CEO who runs a Fortune 500 company to the housewife who raises her children and heads her household. Our country was built by strong women, and we will continue to break down walls and defy stereotypes.” – Nancy Pelosi 

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“For I conclude that the enemy is not lipstick, but guilt itself; we deserve lipstick, if we want it, AND free speech; we deserve to be sexual AND serious – or whatever we please. We are entitled to wear cowboy boots to our own revolution.” – Naomi Wolf 

“Value yourself for what the media doesn’t – your intelligence, your street smarts, your ability to play a kick-ass game of pool, whatever. So long as it’s not just valuing yourself for your ability to look hot in a bikini and be available to men, it’s an improvement.” – Jessica Valenti 

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There’s just as many different kinds of feminism as there are women in the world. -Kathleen Hanna

Feminism is dated? Yes, for privileged women like my daughter and all of us here today, but not for most of our sisters in the rest of the world who are still forced into premature marriage, prostitution, forced labor – they have children that they don’t want or they cannot feed. – Isabel Allende

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Feminist Friday: Why I Didn’t Take Part in Equal Pay Day Protests

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You may or may not know that yesterday was Equal Pay Day, because of wage gaps due to gender. As of yesterday, many women around the world work for free for the rest of the year, compared to men. While I received invitations from other feminists who were going to walk out of their jobs at 3.34 to protest the inequality and express their anger and frustration. I was not one of these women. I stayed until 5pm, as I do because that is what is in my contract, and that was that.

I completely understand women do it. I am angered and frustrated that there are women who are treated worse than men. I am lucky enough to have not faced that prospect while working. I’ve never been treated or earned less than any men, to my knowledge. While I fully acknowledge there is a problem and it needs to be addressed, but I can’t just walk out of my job. It might be selfish but I can’t risk my job, my career and my life, I’m not in a position to do that. It makes me feel like a terrible woman, a terrible feminist but that’s my situation.   I think that more can be done in terms of laws and reviews of employment. It is true that women are often not given the same opportunities as men, meaning they cannot progress. It’s such a complex issues with so many different avenues to explore and argue. There’s a million shades of gray to this situation and it genuinely made me feel so sad.

Of course, I stand with my sisters around the world to fight for this right, feminism is about equality. It’s literally what it means. We need to carry on fighting for equality and for each other but I refuse to feel bad for risking all I’ve worked so hard for because I can still fight with my words.