I didn’t know a year ago that such a large part of growing up meant letting go and, sometimes, walking away. In the past year, I’ve learnt more about those things than I have in my entire life. I’ve had to let one of my precious girls go for her sake, I’ve walked away from friendships that I didn’t feel were working and I’ve had to let go of who I thought I was while trying to work out who I think I am. I might sound like a clichèd 20 something, ‘ I don’t know who I am’, but I really don’t. There’s the person I thought I was at university, there’s the person I am after leaving. I’ve had to let go of a sport I lived for, something which I never thought would happen and breaks my heart more than I’d like to admit. Growing up is full of changes and evolution
Growing up is full of changes and evolution. I guess it’s how we learn and all adds up to the person we’re supposed to be, but that doesn’t make it any less exhausting or any easier. The amount of time I’ve spent just wondering ‘what do I want to do?’ because that has certainly changed since I graduated. People say that being young is easy but this is certainly the most confusing time in my life, even more confusing than when I was a teenager. Theses ideas of what you should be doing, thinking etc compared with what you want to do.
I don’t have a grand plan when I write these things, maybe I should, who knows. I just get it all out on a page, because I do know I’m not the only one who feels this way. We’re all young and confused and that won’t change for the generations to come, to quote one of my favourite bands ’22 is like the worst idea that I have ever had, it’s too much pain, too much freedom what should I do with this?’ Hell if I know.