Muddled Millennial_ The Beginning

Muddled Millennial – The Beginning

As I write this, I am sitting in Cookie Monster Pyjamas, with a doughnut pillow behind my head and an existential crisis brewing in my head. Welcome to my ongoing mid-twenties crisis. Take a seat.

I’d been toying around with writing a few blogs about being a millennial, because everyone seems to think we’re terrible and um, I think we’re kinda okay. Maybe not all of us, but for the most part. I kept putting off writing it because, well, I was procrastinating. It’s as simple as that.

The logical part of my brain is telling me I need to calm down, it will all be fine I am not the only one. Plus, when I googled quarter life crisis there was a HELL of a lot of people feeling the same. So I thought I’d do what any self-respecting millennial with a blog would do, write about it. Standard.

So, you know the crushing panic that comes with being in your mid-twenties? You do? Awesome we’re on the same page. I’m in this weird part of my life where my friends think I have my shit together, I think they do but really we’re all muddling along.

I’m watching my feeds fill up with ‘I said yes!’, baby posts, new jobs, amazing holidays and here I sit, in my pyjamas. The thing is I don’t have a bad life, in fact, I’m fortunate. I have a wonderful partner, a nice home, family and I’m working for myself – so why do I feel so stressed?

When we were kids we thought we’d have everything sorted by 25. I thought I’d have a mortgage, be married with a kid. Have I done any of these things? Nope, not one. I have done cool things – but sometimes even that feels like it’s not enough.

So, this is a kind of muddled, messy introduction to my latest series where I’m going to spill the tea about being a millennial and hopefully get some of you to as well!

Are you also a muddled millennial? Let me know in the comments below!

 

Book Review: 30 Things Before 30 by Hope Alcocer

30 Things Before 30 - Hope Alcocer

‘Twas the night before my thirtieth birthday and all through the house- wait, I don’t have a house. I rent a ridiculously expensive apartment in New York City with the occasional cockroach and a radiator from 1908 that sounds like it’s about to eat me.’

Now, 30 seems scary right? I know it sounds it to me. Next week I’m going to be 24, officially in the ‘mid-twenties’ section of my life. Gulp. I’ve spoken to a lot of people who feel like when your 30 you’re supposed to have your shit together. That’s why I picked up this book and I am so glad I did.

This isn’t going to tell you what you should have done by the time you were 30, but that’s the beauty of it. In this Hope talks of her life and how things didn’t follow a rigid life plan that we’re all supposed to. She talks openly and honestly about her struggles with mental health and the clarity this gave her later on.

There is a whole chapter focused on just trying. Try something out, do what you need to do. This was so refreshing, we’re told so many times that 30 is the end of something, the end of fun perhaps? And Hope challenges this.

This didn’t feel like a self-help book, it felt like listening to a friend give you a pep talk and most importantly, Hope doesn’t pretend that she has all of the answers. She admits that she’s muddling along with whatever life throws at her, she makes mistakes, she doesn’t have a clear idea about what she’s doing but she carries on.

For anyone who’s nervous about heading towards their 30s, no matter how close or how far, this is perfect. In fact, even if you just want a positive read then this is also fab. I gave this 5 stars, it’s a book that I hope to read a few more times to share in Hope’s wisdom. I look forward to also read her first book.

I’m Starting Again.

Things have been, interesting lately and because of circumstances out of my control, I’m starting again, again. Earlier in the month, I lost my job, which wasn’t the plan. Due to contract changes I was no longer needed and to say it was a shock is an understatement. I was gutted to leave a job that I really enjoyed and people I loved only a few months after getting promoted. So, now, I have a month to find another job and I didn’t expect to be here.

I’ve had a few jobs since leaving uni, contract roles and one that just didn’t work out so it’s not that I haven’t been here before, I have. Despite everything, I’ve actually been feeling pretty positive most of the time, reaching out to contacts on Linkedin, attending interviews etc. At the time of writing I’ve had 2 interviews and have a few more booked in, that’s in a week since being told I no longer had a job. So, it’s looking good. It’s also been the boost I needed to get serious about my own projects and freelancing. My website is in the process of being set up and I’ll enjoy working on that while I’m searching for a full-time job.

I didn’t intend to be starting again, but I’m not seeing it as a bad thing. I learned a lot when I was in my last job, I worked out what I really loved to do and while it was shorter than planned, it was good while it lasted. So, now I have to figure out what’s next but, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I think everything happens for a reason. What exactly that reason is I don’t quite know, but I’m sure it will become apparent.

So, what have I been doing while I’ve been off? House-sitting for my parents, trying to read because my reading this month was abysmal, applying for job, interviewing and just having some time for myself. I was due to take some time off anyway and I guess I got it, haha. Either way, I’m hoping this will be good for me and I can start a new job re-energised and ready to go. Keep your fingers crossed!

What are you doing

What are you doing?!

Over the last week or so you might have seen the question: what are you doing? The whole thing kicked off after Forbes named Kylie Jenner the next self-made billionaire which was controversial at best. Then the New York Daily News but you this tweet.

What are you doing? Kylie Jenner

Yep, anyone else feel a little gut punch when they first read that? I did. Even if you don’t think about the enormous privilege that Kylie has there’s something not quite right with this. I take my hat off to her for making a business and being successful from that but it was just damn ridiculous to ask what we were doing with our lives. It adds to this idea that we should all be at the same level, that there is an ultimate goal and if you’re not there, then you’re a failure.

I used to have a plan for my life. I was going to graduate with a 1st, I was going to get married in my early 20s, have 2 children by the time I was 30 and a career I enjoyed. I had everything mapped out until I didn’t. Hell, as I write this I’ve got no idea what I’m doing. I’m not married, I don’t feel ready to have a baby any time soon, I don’t have the best selling novel or a big job. Does that mean I’m a failure? To people who changed their minds or had a life change, are they failures? In short, no.

In the age of social media, it’s easy to forget that we’re seeing people’s highlight reels. We might see these super successful 20-year-olds or our friends with a ‘perfect’ life. We don’t see the sacrifice, the late nights, the tears. We don’t see the days where you look and feel like shit, where you want to pack it all in. I know for a fact these successful, beautiful or brilliant people have days like that. They are human, as are we.

There is so much pressure on us to look perfect, to follow a certain path. What struck me about it is the stress I personally feel about timelines. I can bet most of you reading have felt this too! Each of us are doing something with our lives. For some of us, that means getting out of bed in the morning, for others it might be being creative, raising kids or working a job. We’re all living our lives in different ways and that’s what important.

I’d love to hear what you are up to, however big or small. Live your life, and screw what anyone else thinks.

 

 

 

Does Positivity Work With Pain Management

Does Positivity Work in Pain Management?

Hello, my lovely readers!

Today I want to talk about managing pain. It will come as no surprise to my regular readers I think about this more than most people after an accident a few years ago. I live with chronic pain and most people don’t know when they meet me it can be pretty surprising because I’m very positive as a person. And that’s central to today’s post, does positivity work?

I’ve met with a lot of doctors and multiple times I’ve been told ‘your positive attitude will pull you through pain’. A few years ago I would have scoffed and I definitely think this doesn’t apply to every situation. When I first broke my back positivity wasn’t happening, I was in agony and when I wasn’t I was asleep. Then it came to recovery and my attitude did play a big part.

In Recovery 

This was probably the hardest time to be positive. There were a lot of things up in the air at this time, I was obviously in a lot of pain and having to navigate what was going on. That said trying to keep some positivity was important, particularly in physiotherapy because that shit can get tough! I kept focused on getting better and other positive things and it definitely helped.

In Diagnosis 

Diagnosis was weird, I was happy to have an answer, horrified about what it meant for me and wanting to look at what I could do next. It was a mix of emotions. No matter what I had this determination not to give up, I had to still live my life. I got told time and time again the determination and all the positivity I could muster would get me where I wanted to be.

In Life

Ah life, it does like to give you a kick when you don’t need it. Life is hard, people try and say it’s not but let’s be real. So, staying positive in life when your body hurts all over? I take it one day at a time. That’s honestly it. The only future things I try to focus on are things I’m looking forward to, I try and write down one thing a month and when I’m in a lot of pain have the mentality that this will pass and once it does I’m a bit closer to the thing I’m looking forward to.

 

So, yes I do think positivity plays a huge part BUT having time to be upset, to struggle and to be furious is a big part of recovery. Do I have days where I’m pissed off or I cry because things changed? Of course, I do. Sometimes I have weeks where I feel this way. THIS IS NORMAL! That said, I do feel that, if and when you can be trying to be positive is important.

How do you stay positive? Let me know in the comments below!

monthly favourites lifestyle blogger

May Favourites!

May and all of it’s wonderful Bank Holiday goodness has gone but that means it’s time for my monthly favourites! I’m gonna get started because this is going to be a big one.

Books

This month the books I’ve picked up have been emotional reads and I have no idea why, it just kind of happened? My top non-fiction book this month is Unbroken by Martine Wright who lost both her legs in the 7/7 attack. I listened to the audiobook for this and found it to be incredible, a great read. I also read Dear Martin inspired by the Black Lives Matter movement in the USA, racial profiling and youth. Full review to come! The next in the ACOTAR series came out, a novella set after A Court of Wings and Ruin and I loved it so much, this novel felt like coming home. I also read debut Orphan Monster Spy and oh wow, I didn’t know if it was for me but I loved this and I can’t wait for the sequel. And finally, I’ve been carrying on my journey through the Saga universe too!

Watching

This month I have to give a huge shout out to comedy. On Netflix I watched Ali Wong’s second Netflix special Hard Knock Wife and it was just as, if not funnier than the first. I also went to see Deadpool 2 as I loved the first one so much. I felt like this tugged at the heartstrings a little more but I still loved it and would definitely see it again.

Hair, Beauty and Fashion 

Umm, new hair who dis? Ok, sorry, that’s my attempt at being cool. I had a hair transformation with a new fringe and beautiful colour thanks to Grace at LK Hair. There have been some changes in my life so I changed my hair, because could I be more stereotypical? Also, I’m loving one of Next’s own fragrances it’s sweet, it has coconut and reminds me of holiday. I also picked up a Stitch t-shirt for only £6 in Primark and some nail varnish in a summery colour. I also picked up this really cute skirt from New Look it’s denim, high waisted and something a little different for me. I’ve also got a new Kimono but no pictures to share so far, sad times.

Life

Well, I couldn’t forget to mention the sunshine which lead to some Cocktails…maybe too many cocktails. I was also treated by my parents to some lovely treats such as Flip Flops, Sharpies, a new Notebook AND amazing lipsticks and nail varnish that was discounted, hence why there is so much. I also got to see my bestie Joe and have another trip to London this month (sorry bank balance) for a pub trip and comic book fun. I have to mention how happy I am that Ireland voted yes in May to legalising abortion, a great step for women’s rights.

 

Blog Posts

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

I Have, I Am – Talking About Mental Illness 

How Am I Doing Right Now? 

Clothes Sizes are BS 

 

What Mean Girls Taught Me

What Mean Girls Taught Me

Recently I saw one of the songs that will be in the Mean Girls musical which, should it ever come to London, I will be going to. You see Mean Girls was a huge part of growing up for me. Before Netflix (gasp) I would go to Car Boot sales and buy any and all movies that were deemed as ‘chick flicks’ and it all started off with Cady Heron.

I was in Portsmouth with my parents at the tender age of 11 when I saw this film, the cover looked cool. My Dad gave me the money, having no idea what it was about, and said to go pay. I was half terrified that they wouldn’t sell it to me because I was 11 and it was a 12. Ah, sweet, sweet innocence. But what did I learn from it…

The ‘freaks’ are the coolest people you will ever meet

I can speak as someone who used to hang out with the music/art/nerds. A lot of the time the creative people are the most welcoming and accepting, that’s what I’ve found. Just like Damien and Janice.

Stereotypes don’t have to be a thing.

Cady wasn’t one stereotype or the other. She could rock a short dress but also had a brilliant brain. She wasn’t above petty school politics, she fell right into them just like all of us did; if you say you didn’t you’re lying. People in this film made mistakes.

Changing yourself to fit in is never a good idea

Do I need to explain this one…

Don’t believe rumours

Ok, ok, we know that Coach Karr is an exception to this. The film made me realise people gossip and rumours go around. You can’t stop that. The teenage years are full of this shit so it’s best to try and ignore it. Fun fact waiting to go into my General Studies (read luck of the draw) exam I was informed that someone had been told I was pregnant with twins…news to me.

Everyone has their own shit going on

Do I think Regina George was evil? No, probably not. From Caddy’s worries that she was a ‘homeschooled jungle freak’, Janice’s tough girl attitude masking her being rejected, to Gretchen wanting to stab Ceaser. Every person in that film has their own issues, just like in real life.

I still quote Mean Girls on a regular basis even if it has been years since I’ve sat down and watched the film myself. There is just something in that film that I think anyone who has been a teenager just gets. That being a teenager isn’t sunshine and rainbows, people are shitty and school is shitty too. Oh and teenage girls can be awful to each other, truly awful.

What did Mean Girls Teach you? Let me know in the comments below and you go Glen Coco!