On the inside

It’s been a while since I’ve written about mental health, one of the many reasons I started this blog. I haven’t really had much to complain about lately, a job I love, a course I love, friends, my boyfriend and everything else I’ve been writing to you all about. Sometimes you can get swept up in all the good things and get a little over confident, something I’ve dealt with a few times in my life.

I spoke to a friend tonight who thankfully understands this, she’s one of the nicest people I know and also deals with mental health on a daily basis. It was a relief to talk to someone who understands. So much is going right in my life that people don’t understand that the depression doesn’t just go away, if only it was that easy. I’m dealing with a lot of new things and although everything is great sometimes I’m still sad. There are times where it’s for no reason what so ever I get ill, I’m angry ,irritable and teary. I got overwhelmed at a work training session today, it was lovely to see everyone but it just felt too much.

Sometimes I get angry with myself over this, especially when it influences other people, Ali in particular. It isn’t his fault I’ve had a long day and I’m tired and irritable but I unleash this monster, stomp around and I’m not very pleasant to be around. It takes a special kind of person to willingly live with a person with a mental health problem especially when things can change so rapidly.

I’m ok I can promise that but sometimes no matter how well everything is going I have dips, it’s only natural.

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