Tag: uni

DEAF HAVANA!!

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Today I queued for around 2 hours (on and off) in the pouring rain. Do I mind? Surprisingly no I don’t today I got to see one of my absolute favourite bands Deaf Havana! I was lucky enough to get tickets to a small record shop in town called Banquet Records and it is amazing, so many good live bands play there! It’s honestly an incredible place. After trying to navigate busses me and Ali finally made it to the record shop! Now the place can’t fit too many people in there so for only £10 each we got to see an intimate acoustic set and actually meet Deaf Havana afterwards! It was an amazing atmosphere and it just made you realise how normal they were. You could see some shaking hands, they talked openly with the crowd joking along and they had no diva side at all. It was just an incredible set and I honestly couldn’t believe just how good the harmonies were live, absolutely breath taking. As they sang one of my favorites ‘Hunstanston Pier’ I had shivers and just wanted to sing my heart out, the atmosphere was magical.  At that moment in time life just felt complete, I know how that sounds but I was where I wanted to be finally in uni, listening to an amazing band with Ali’s arms wrapped around my waist. I think I’m gonna like this place 🙂 

It got even better after that, I’m having a ball with my flat mates they’re all so lovely and we’re learning a lot from each other. I met one of the most prominent members of the Rock and Metal society today and I’m finally finding people who don’t want to go out drinking and clubbing all the time thank god! So for my birthday (which I am SUPER excited about) we will be heading to a local Rock, Punk and ‘Emo’ night which is so amazing as I’ve never even heard of that before. In short I feel like more of a musician than ever and people totally accept I want to study something different which is a first! 

 

Keep an eye out for the album guys 😉 and while your at it why not go and check out Deaf Havana’s those lads are diamonds! 

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When things get tough…

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So it’s finally happened. I promised you all I would document everything, the highs, the lows. Right at this moment, I’ve hit a low and I bloody hate it. I’m stressed, I’m tired, I’m crying and I’m really not sure of anything right now. Some people will say I’m being dramatic, stupid and I don’t really care. I haven’t panicked about moving for around 6 months, the last time was a visit to Kingston back in March when I was also tired and stressed. I was in a city that I didn’t know and having to come to terms with the thought of moving away. Guess what, now that realisation is hitting me like a bloody train and it scares me. While I was out last night I just noticed how small Basingstoke really is and how close I am to my family. I do want to go, I really do but at the same time I’m petrified. I’ve just told my family I don’t want to go anyone and I’m not planning on going anywhere on Friday, regardless. I will go, I know I’ll be on that train Friday morning and I’ll be in Kingston Friday night  and staying there for the foreseeable future. In short, sometimes I don’t listen to my brain it malfunctions at times.

You see this is the problem with me I’ll be in hysterics then I’ll be excited. I think about all the interesting things I am going to do, things I can study, going to to do a masters degree later on then out of the blue it floors me. Even though I know I need to get away, I need to start somewhere fresh and get away from Basingstoke there is a little voice inside my head telling me that I can’t do it. Is it part of me being ill? No idea, other people are feeling like this too apparently so I’m not sure and I don’t like pinning things on it. The anxiety is definitely there EVERYTHING is running around my head. Have I got everything? Will people like me? What will my flat mates be like? Will the band get any gigs? Will I be able to keep up with my work? Will I be okay with money? What am I supposed to wear in freshers week? What will people think of this blog? 

Now I’ve had a chance to calm myself down I realise how much I want to go and study. I have no doubt in the next 4 days and 3 years I’ll have many more of these freak outs, although maybe I’ll get better at handling them. My advice to any future freshers? Either

A) Go do something that relaxes you to take your mind off of how you feel in a panic

B) Go for a walk in a public place (you can’t cry or rage then…you’ll look as mad as me) 

C) Go get some sleep. I’m very aware (as is everyone in my house) that half of this today is because of a lack of sleep. 

 

Peace out 

The return- part two

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Four am is  a wonderful time of the morning, the stars are still out, its calm and it’s quiet. At the same time it gets to 8.45 and you feel like you’ve been up all year. This morning I got up at that unsociable hour to pick up Ali’s older sister from the airport on her long awaited return from travelling! Claire is a few years older than us and shes just gone travelling solo across Asia, something in my eyes which is an incredible achievement. It is lovely to have her home after all these months although all of us will be moving out in the next 2 weeks! (Scary huh?) I got lovely presents over the last two days from holidays, Claire got me a lovely bookmark (which should come in handy with all the books I should be getting for my birthday) and a small clock for my desk at uni. Ali got me a lovely present as well , converse shoes are always a winner for me! 

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Seeing Claire come back from travelling made me get the travel bug again! I watched so many people coming back through with backpacks that I was so desperate to find a plane grab Ali and go and explore. I’m not personally attracted to Asia although it does seem very interesting for me the key to the world is Europe. Europe has so much rich history that I honestly can’t get enough of it. Rome is the first stop, next summer which will be so exciting. The I want to go travelling across Europe for a month, I want to head to Australia and meet my childhood friend (although on this occasion it will more than likely be on my own as long haul flights arn’t Ali’s cup of tea!) and just look around. Once I turn 21 I want to head back to the states to visit New York, Florida and California (top of my list right now). I could list everywhere in the world I want to go but it would take a while. I’m not stupid I know I might not get to see everywhere I want to go but I at least want to try.

Now everyone is back however uni is getting closer and closer and it does feel very weird. I only have 10 days (well 9 now seeing at it’s night time) until I pack everything up and leave Basingstoke behind. I’ll be honest and tell you that I am in a blind panic half the time, how will I do this? how will I manage that? There are bigger questions like will my student loan come in on time? Will I find my course ok? Will I be able to keep up? I often get the worry that I wont be good enough for university. I have this need to be one of the best or the smartest even though most of the time it doesn’t matter. After speaking to some lovely friends I have I’ve been assured that they too are waking up with butterflies and feeling a bit sick while battling with the excitement of it all. If I’m honest as long as I have Ali and a supportive group of friends I should get along just fine. I already know that Kingston have a great support network in many different ways but it is still really daunting. 

Hello September!

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Today is September the first, the beginning of a very important month. This month feels like a little bit of a count down with so many things going on! 

 

  • 1 Day until I get my boyfriend home!
  • 6 Days until I say goodbye to a lot of Basingstoke People 
  • 11 Days until I move to my halls 
  • 12 Days until I am fully enrolled 
  • 15 Days until freshers starts
  • 17 Days until my 19th Birthday
  • 18 Days until I see my family after moving 
  • 19 Days until freshers ball
  • 20 Days until Jess’ birthday in London! 
  • 22 Days until lectures start 
  • 26 Days until Paramore 

As you can see I have so much going on at times it gets a bit overwhelming. As with any fresher I imagine we all have feeling of how on earth will I do this? Sometimes (especially at night) I do get quite stressed and wonder how I’ll cope with university life.  Despite any fears I have about university they are usually discarded when I think about all the exciting things that will be happening too! Some of them are quite small things such as meeting a few friends I’ve made to go food shopping on my first evening, finding a nice pub to have a few ciders, finding my way around. Most people think that freshers is just alcohol the whole way through and I sure for a lot of people there is a lot of booze involved and club nights (the amount I’ve been invited to already is crazy!) but well that isn’t my scene. 

It’s odd but this is the first time in many years I haven’t completely dreaded September. For me the song Wake me up when September ends couldn’t have been more true. I’d spend so much time stressing and crying and saying I’m not going back. At my worst I was about to go into year 11, there were two sides of me one full of dread and one with some silly form of optimism. At this point I was at one of my lowest points at the beginning of that year unfortunately, all my friends had left and I’d already told my teachers in the previous year I wasn’t planning on coming back (thankfully they ignored me). Ali walked me to school that morning, I’m not sure if it was to make sure I went or just to give me the support I needed. Either way it worked, I walked through the gates and watched him leave before I met with a support assistant in the morning. I don’t remember what happened after that really but it was horrible how hysterical I was before and after.  It is honestly such a breath of fresh air to just be happy and excited about September and starting Univeristy that I can’t wipe this smile off of my face.

 

So what I’m really trying to say is

Hello September 

I’ve been waiting for you