Tag: love

Sunday Seven: 22 and a half

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This week I hit 22 and a half, I know most adults don’t count their half birthdays, but firstly I don’t see myself as an adult and secondly I like using this as a benchmark to take stock of what I’ve done in half a year. I mentioned way back in January that I don’t like making New Years Resolutions, instead, I like to use my year birthday to birthday to see how things I have been going. So let’s take a look back and see what I’ve learnt in the past 6 months.

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You don’t need loads of friends to be happy 

Now I’m back in Basingstoke we don’t have as many friends around, but that really doesn’t matter. I still talk to Joe all the time, although it sucks I can’t just pop and see him. I also have Abbie and Ben on the other side of town. I have a lot smaller group of people that I’m in contact with but it’s really about the quality rather than the quantity.

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The pain of losing someone you love never goes away, you learn how to deal with it

A few weeks after my birthday I lost one of my hamsters. Although, to me they are my babies. Noodle passed away and it broke my heart, I still miss her each and every day and that never stops.

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I want to write, so I’ll goddam write 

Enough messing around, it was time to get serious, get planning and get on with it. We’ll see what happens…

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Having your own space is key to happiness 

We finally moved home! Having our own space has made it much easier for me to relax and have time to myself and Ali.

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It’s ok not to be ok. 

I have a problem with wanting to be perfect. I always have. In the last few months when things have gotten tricky I’ve had to remind myself that I’m allowed to feel tired or overwhelmed, that I’m human. So, I did what I always do and I wrote about it and it made me feel a lot better.

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Leaving a job that isn’t right for you doesn’t make you a failure

Back in November I left my first full-time job for a variety of reasons. I wasn’t happy there and didn’t feel like it was right. When I left, even though I had another job lined up, I felt like a failure because I hadn’t been there long. That said it lead on to bigger and better things and just because it didn’t work out didn’t mean I was a failure.

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Grades aren’t everything. 

For a good few months, I hid my degree certificate. I didn’t want people to know that I wasn’t perfect and didn’t get the first I’d been dreaming about. I hated mentioning it and whenever I did I’d follow up with ‘but I was only 3% off of a first!’ as if getting a 2:1 in literature was something to be ashamed of. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt but at the same time my life was a mess in third year, to come out at all with a degree is fine with me. It now happily sits on my desk while I write.

Why I Love Valentines Day, But I’m Not Celebrating.

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I love, love. I think there’s nothing better than sharing how you feel with others and bringing happiness. There are lots of people I love, including Ali. Now, this is not an anti valentines post, not at all. I’m happy for those of you out there who are going to have a special day to yourselves to celebrate love. This year, however, Ali and I haven’t planned anything, we haven’t made a bit deal and we’re not going to.

Why? Why would someone who loves love and valentines and flowers and all of that not want to do it this year? It’s partially because we’ve been together for a decade next year, we’ve done valentines day, we’ve done flowers and teddies and dinners and all of that. The thought of going out to a busy restaurant on the same day everyone else is doing the same fills us with dread. Another reason is the cost, this is where I might sound like a cynic but when I’ve been out shopping recently seeing £10 on a tiny (although adorable) cuddly toy made me roll my eyes, in a month they’ll all be normal price. To put it in perspective we’ve just moved house, I’d much rather we use the money we would have spent and got something for the house, which I know must sound very old and boring.

My final reason is that I don’t think we need it. I think valentines day is great for a lot of people to focus on each other and be romantic, god I’ve been there! I still love flowers and gifts and things but I love it much more when Ali remembers to do something for me, picks me up some chocolate on the way home or runs me a bath. I love it when I feel a litle rushed off my feet but he still tells me I look nice. I love it when I feel crap because I’ve been in hospital and he tells me how proud he is of me. That’s not bashing anyone else, that’s just what many years in a relationship looks like for me.

That said I would LOVE to know what you guys are up to whether it be with a loved one or friends?! Let me know in the comments below!

Feminist Friday: Standing With Our Sisters in 2017

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It would be easy to say that, so far, 2017 hasn’t been a great year for women around the world. With the new President often making sexist comments, wanting to shut down Planned Parenthood, make abortions illegal etc, we thought we’d seen a bad hit. We came back with marches around the world. Later Russia were happy to decriminalise domestic abuse in the first instance, another hard pill to swallow for women. Every day we hear more and more stories in the news of girls being the victims of honour killings, acid attacks and the like. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, scared and confused about how things have gone so, so wrong when it’s only February.

Of course, we’ve also seen women and men speaking out against such injustices. Speak out against the governments letting women down and continuing to do so. I worried, when writing this blog that I was talking about the USA again. I feel like I think and write about it a lot, this isn’t because the UK doesn’t have it’s problems, it’s not because I don’t care about women who have it worse, it’s because I need to process what’s happening in what is supposedly one of the most forward thinking nations on the planet.

In these times of darkness, uncertainty and, quite frankly, madness, we need to be there for each other. We need to remember what has come before, that we prevailed. Now that we have social media we can show our support to causes all over the world, let our sisters know they are not alone, that we are thinking and campaigning alongside them. We don’t know what is going to happen, I wish I could say this is all a nightmare that will be over soon, but it might not.

All we have in this fight is each other, fighting amongst ourselves is what they want. Instead of tearing each other down or judging one another we need to lift each other up. We need to let men be our allies if they are willing to stand and fight with us for equality and against the government (hating all men won’t get us any further, it just won’t).

We will stand with our sisters in 2017 and beyond.

January Favourites

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Hello, hello, hello!

It’s FINALLY the end of January, which is probably my least favourite month of the year. The excitement of Christmas is gone, it’s dark, dreary and everyone is skint. I haven’t been feeling the positive vibes! BUT every month I’m going to share my favourites, this month is fairly random, simply because I haven’t done much but I’m hoping others will be a little more interesting!

Promising to look after myself 

I’ve had a rough old time this January but have tried to spend a little bit of time caring for myself, embracing the Hygge way of life. 

Lady Dates 

Abbie and I had our First Lady date in AGES this month, popping to a little pub for dinner and dessert. I need these little catchups over some dinner, chilled conversation and food by a cosy fire. Shout out to The Weatsheaf in Dummer, top notch as always. 

We moved! 

7 months after graduating we finally got the keys to our new home. While I might be going a little mad waiting for internet I’m so happy to have our own home! 

Birthday Celebrations! 

My littlest cousin Jamie turned one this month, I love seeing my little smiler so happy! 

Getting back into fitness 

I’m starting to try and go to the gym, get a routine and try something new, hence boxing. 

Little treats 

I love the Powerpuff girls, I always have. I was SO happy that my Mum picked these up from Primark for me 😊

Content planning 

There’s going to be lots of fun and new content here! Keep your eyes peeled! 

Ed Sheeran 

Yes he really made the end of the month. I love his new track Castle on the Hill and thanks to my Mum I’m seeing him LIVE in May! Eeeeek! 


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As always my little Ham never fails to make me smile ❤ 
I can’t wait to see what February brings! Let me know your favourites from January in the comments below!! 

 

Feminist Friday: To Those Who Need Support Today

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Hello,

When the election results were announced I, like many of you, was shocked, scared an angry. To express my feelings and reach out to those who were struggling I wrote an open letter to those who didn’t vote for Trump. I wanted to use tonight’s Feminist Friday post to speak not only to women but to all who feel they need a helping hand, to those who have been offended by Trump and his administration. I am speaking to women, the African-American community, the LGBTQA+ community, immigrants, the disabled, first generation Americas, various religious groups. To all of you. The rest of the world hasn’t forgotten you.

It’s not that I wanted to write tonight, I needed to write this. It was a compulsion. I caught the last half hour of the inauguration and was struck by the sorrow on Michelle Obama’s face. Her face said what so many people were thinking and feeling. The anger and confusion that a man who has a record of being sexist, a sexual predator, islamophobic, racist, the list goes on. I wanted to tell you that he doesn’t represent the American people. He shows that there is a flawed political system, that fear and hatred have been used as a tool to gain power.

The next four years are going to be tough, there’s no doubt BUT he is one person and there are ways that we can fight against his hatred around the world. When people care for each other and listen to each other the world becomes a better place. I was proud to hear about the Women’s Marches taking place today, about those who have stood up against the harassment of others, those who have made donations to Planned Parenthood. There are so many acts of defiance and kindness that we can choose to focus on, rather than him.

No matter how tough the next four years are, know that there is support for you, know that there is love in the world. There are people that will listen to your worries and concerns. I haven’t lost hope for America, I believe there is still good, decent and kind people who care about issues outlined above.

Stay strong, speak out, we love you.

Sunday Seven: 2017 Book Releases

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A new year means new book releases and I am so excited. I have had a little nose around at what’s going to be coming up this year and there are definitely some crackers to get excited about! So let’s get stuck in.

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This Is How It Always Is – Laurie Frankel

‘When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl. Rosie and Penn want Claude to be whoever Claude wants to be. They’re just not sure they’re ready to share that with the world. Soon the entire family is keeping Claude’s secret. Until one day it explodes.’

I’m intrigued by the fact that hiding their child’s true self ‘explodes’ and what this means, I really hope this is a novel that shows what it means to be a family in this situation.

Full blurb on Goodreads.

 

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This is how it happened – Paula Stokes 

When Genevieve Grace wakes up from a coma, she can’t remember the car crash that injured her and killed her boyfriend Dallas, a YouTube star who had just released his first album. Genevieve knows she was there, and that there was another driver, a man named Brad Freeman, who everyone assumes is guilty. But as she slowly pieces together the night of the accident, Genevieve is hit with a sickening sense of dread—that maybe she had something to do with what happened.

I’m really interested in this novel because it looks at the idea of hero worship of Youtube stars, guilt and a mystery. Sign me up.

Full blurb on Goodreads.

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The Art of Feeling – Laura Tims 

Since the car accident, Samantha Herring has been in pain, not only from her leg injury, but also from her mother’s death, which has devastated her family. After pushing away her friends, Sam has receded into a fog of depression. But then Sam meets Eliot, a reckless loner with an attitude and an amazing secret—he can’t feel any pain.

I know what it’s like to live with chronic pain after my own injury so the premise of this is really interesting. It’ll be interesting to pick it up and see what the authors interpretation of living with chronic pain is,

Full blurb on Goodreads.

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Happy – Fearne Cotton 

“This book is a way to release what’s going on inside your head and to keep heading towards the good stuff. The simple stuff. The stuff that’s going to really hit up that happiness on a deep and nourishing level. Whether you dip into these pages every now and then when you feel you need it, or use it daily as a positive exercise, I hope it brings you much relief, joy and calm. Amen to the pen.” – Fearne Cotton

I was told this is a book for over-thinkers, sign me up right now.

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A Quiet Kind of Thunder – Sara Barnard 

Steffi has been a selective mute for most of her life – she’s been silent for so long that she feels completely invisible. But Rhys, the new boy at school, sees her. He’s deaf, and her knowledge of basic sign language means that she’s assigned to look after him. To Rhys, it doesn’t matter that Steffi doesn’t talk, and as they find ways to communicate, Steffi finds that she does have a voice, and that she’s falling in love with the one person who makes her feel brave enough to use it.

I want to read a lot more diverse books this year and the premise of this book fills me with happiness at the blurb. I need to get me hands on this one.

Find it on Goodreads.

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Difficult Women – Roxane Gay 

The women in these stories live lives of privilege and of poverty, are in marriages both loving and haunted by past crimes or emotional blackmail.

I haven’t read too many collections of short stories, but I’d like to try and read a few more. I absolutely loved Roxane Gay’s Ted Talk when I watched it in uni, Bad Feminist has been on my TBR forever, so it only makes sense to add Difficult Women to my list. That and I think we need more ‘difficult women’ in the world.

Full blurb on Goodreads.

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Sour Hearts – Jenny Zhang

Centered on a community of immigrants who have traded their endangered lives as artists in China and Taiwan for the constant struggle of life at the poverty line in 1990s New York City, Zhang’s exhilarating collection examines the many ways that family and history can weigh us down and also lift us up.

This is the first novel from Lena Dunham’s publishing company. While I have mixed feelings about Lena and the comments she makes, she’s really struck gold by the looks of it. This is another novel I want to read that shows diversity and the struggles of others in regards to immigration. I feel like this is also needed when we’re facing the leader of the free world being so anti-immigration.

Full blurb on Goodreads.

Carrie – An Icon

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I’m writing this with a heavy heart and tear stained cheeks, today the world lost an incredible woman, Carrie Fisher, her death was confirmed by daughter Billie’s publicist. To many Carrie will be remembered as Princess Leia, but she was so, so much more. I met Carrie only a few weeks ago and still can’t get my head around how this fun loving woman who crouched down to sign a little girls wheelchair without so much as a second thought is no longer with us, the world is cruel.

Of course Carrie was Princess Leia, but it’s not all she should be remembered for. She had a no BS attitude to life, which was apparent in her interviews. She was also an incredibly talented writer publishing three memoirs, a handful of novels and also working on screenplays in her life too. Carrie had a way with words that I can only dream to have, I’m thankful she took the time to have a London signing.

While Star Wars makes me happier than most things, it’s not the the thing I’ll remember Carrie most fondly for. She was open and honest about her struggles with addiction and life with Bipolar Disorder. When I met Carrie I wanted to thank her for that, when I did she seemed surprised and said ‘well I have a voice, when you can speak out you should, you know?’ There was nothing more to it. Carrie knew that she could make a big change and she did. For a star of her size to talk so openly about mental illness opened people’s minds. Carrie took the label of ‘crazy’ in her stride, she laughed about it, she made people realise it was ok to laugh. She made mental health come into the conversation, because she wasn’t ashamed. I didn’t get into Star Wars until I was 20, but finding out about Carrie changed my life. I devoured her books and interviews because she became an icon to me.

We have lost a beautiful soul, I can’t help but think of her daughter Billie, her dogs and the rest of her family at this time. She meant so much to so many, but at the end of the day she was someone’s Mum, Sister, Daughter and I cannot imagine the heartbreak they are facing right now.

Rest in Peace Carrie, and May The Force Always Be With You.

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Book Review: The Light Between Oceans – M.L. Stedman

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A Woman stole your heart when you didn’t know it could mend, 

Her heart is now broken and you can fix it if you never tell a soul as well as saving a child. 

As this novel is about to fill our cinema screens, I wanted to share with you my review of the breath taking, heart breaking novel by M.L. Stedman.

Set just after  WW1, war hero Tom Sherborne wants a quiet life after what he has seen. With a heavy heart it is just short of a miracle when he finds not only his perfect job on the isolated island of Janus, but also a young and fiery Isabel. After exchanging letters Tom and Isabel marry as he takes her back to Janus to join him in the lighthouse and start their own paradise on the island. When a boat arrives on the island holding a dead man and a tiny infant the couple don’t know what to do. While Tom is adamant he must stick to the keepers code Isabel , heartbroken by the death of her stillborn son and two miscarriages, and sure the child is an orphan. The couple begin to realise that while their paradise is a world away, they cannot hide forever.

This novel absolutely warmed and shattered my heart all at once. I honestly can not remember a book that has touched me in this way before, even my favourite The Storyteller didn’t make my heart ache this much. I knew nothing of this book before I found it in my local Tesco’s and I was hesitant to pick it up, but I am so glad I did. The blurb warns you that it will break your heart but I was sceptical. That said, I am yet to read a review in which the novel hasn’t brought the reader to tears by the end. I’ve read reviews beforehand saying that they couldn’t stand Isabel and I could see why some would hate her, but I just couldn’t. I don’t know if it is because I’m a woman, because of my own maternal instincts, but I understood Isabel. I understood why she did what she did. The pain of losing her children broke her and changed her in a way no one could explain, because think about it, wouldn’t it change you? I can also understand Tom’s dilemma and the decision he makes, and maybe it’s not the right one but in his shoes I doubt anyone knows what they would really do.

The novel has a very real sense of the implications of war and the fragile nature of human life. Although we never hear about Tom’s time as a serving soldier to graphically you don’t need to because it is not the dead who will shatter you heart it is the living who are left behind. On land there is an eerie sense of the hardships of war, of the men who came home but never really came back at all, the mothers and widowers who refuse to believe their boys are really dead. Stedman also bravely touches on the subject of racism after  war, when an innocent life is lost because of the decisions of the few. In my opinion, this was incredibly important because we rarely see this side written about and also because it shows the hurt of a whole community and also the sacrifice of Australia in WW1, something that is often overlooked.

One of the main reasons I loved it though was because I wasn’t in a rush. This wasn’t a thriller but it made you want to read on at your own pace. After saying this, however, this does not mean that I couldn’t put it down and even though I peeked later on at one point I soon forgot what I had read because you get so absorbed in the novel. The imagery of the surroundings is beautiful and I could hear the characters inside my head. The way I can decide if it is a novel worth passing on is if the characters live on in my head, if they become alive and Stedman has certainly done this. I think about living in a lighthouse, about Tom and Izzy and I dream about Australia, so on that basis I can give you a five-star rating!

The Light Between Oceans – M. L Stedman (debut novel)

***** – It may have broken my heart but I love this novel to pieces already!

Published by Black Swan

To Everyone Who Didn’t Vote Trump

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Hello,

You might not know me, you might not read my blog but watching the election results come in this morning left me with a sick, sinking feeling in my stomach. I’m not American, but I am human and I know what it feels like to get a result that you think is wrong and dangerous. My country voted for Brexit, and in the process, we got a Prime Minister we didn’t vote for.  I know that there are so many of you who are scared, confused and angry. That you now have a man that uses division, hatred, racism, and misogyny to get to where he is today. You’re right to be scared, most intelligent people would be and, like Brexit, I have no idea how this happened.

It’s not that I’m going to tell you to get over it and just feel better. There’s a lot of uncertainty, a lot of fear about the future, as there is here. What I am going to say though is that you are not alone in this. There is anger, disbelief ,and shock around the world that lies have won this election. But, most of us know that this doesn’t represent the good of America. There are so many incredible people that I have personally met and he doesn’t represent you as the people you are.

To every woman, every ethnic minority, every disabled person, every LGBTQ person everyone he and his campaign have offended you are not alone. It may feel that way right now, that you don’t know who to trust or what’s to come, but stay strong. The rest of the world understand your feelings of loss and pain and we won’t forget about you. It might feel like your country is against you, but the rest of the world are not.

Sunday 7: The Perks of Being an Auntie

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This morning the world welcomed little Ollie and now I’m an Auntie to 2 little lovelies. It’s one of the best things and even when Lexi arrived as a surprise I fell in love with her and now, even though Ollie was only born at 6.55 this morning I love him too. Here are 7 things that are the best about being an Auntie/ Godmother.  

Seeing someone you love become a parent is an amazing thing. You also get to see them reflected in their kids. 

You get to play make believe and play with kids toys to bond. Although, Peek-a-boo is still one of my favorites. 

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Little people hugs are the best, the absolute best. Lexi has been known to change my entire day with one hug. 

Being able to act like a kid and having an excuse for it! Lex and I used to run and shout rawr. It’s a perfect stress reliever.

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Birthdays and Christmas are MAGIC to kids. I’m a huge kid around celebrations so there’s nothing better than having a like minded little person to get excited with. 

Being able to give them back is the best part of being an aunt. I’m not ready for kids of my own but I love spending time with the little ones. 

Having someone to cuddle, love and make smile <3. 

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