Tag: happy

A year in the life of a Fresher – Looking back

Leave a comment

So this is it, I’ve come to the end of having the tag ‘fresher’. As of tomorrow it will be September, when I feel I’m an official 2nd year as well as my last few weeks of being a teenager. First year was full of challenges, full of fun and no doubt the best thing I have ever done in my life. I have so much to write about, so much I’ve done this year and I can see just how well I’ve done to get here. This time last year I wanted to start the blog, I was terrified and didn’t know if I’d get though a term…now I want to stay an extra 1 or 2 years to do my Masters.

Before I put all the pictures up of the great moments from this year I want to thank you all and assure you that as of tomorrow I will start writing on the page entitled Surviving Second Year  I want to carry on this blog through uni and beyond. I have over 100 of you following this blog, nearly 300 twitter followers and as of yesterday set up an Instagram ( ChloeMetz_).

I’m proud of so much I’ve achieved this year and apparently  I can’t add photos of everything (damn).

September 

It started with playing Tetris with the car, some emotional goodbyes and going to Sainsbury’s in the pouring rain. I got used to shopping for myself, went to two balls, at one I got hideously drunk through nerves (oops) and the other stayed completely sober in a beautiful dress and had a great time. My 19th birthday wasn’t the best, but I knew people cared. In the first week I got to meet Deaf Havana, get my ID and Hoodie, meet some new people and start to work things out for myself. I was tired and handling my illness the best I could, although not always how I wanted to. I went to lectures and became amazed with how much brain hurt but also how much I loved it. I saw Paramore AGAIN, got over my fear of buses and learned that a lot of freshers don’t sleep…

IMG_3234 (2) 554543_10152206270193206_679370642_n IMG_3266 IMG_3281

 

October 

Things changed in October, I started to realise who I was. I saw Sir Trevor McDonald and laughed with Joe (as I did for the rest of the year). I disagreed with people and realised that was ok. I got a kidney infection (not my best move) and had to go home for a little bit to get looked after. I got my finally A* and saw Tonight Alive and I had to start learning to pick myself up when I was alone. I got offered a job and had my first ever night out with the girls (thanks Bekkie!). I had so many late nights and went home to gig again for Reading week, six weeks already done!

IMG_3333[1] IMG_3358[1]

November 

Coming back to uni with a cheeky nose piercing! Then there was a special birthday, Ali’s 20th with a party of the two flats at Kingston hill and a visit from his sister. Then I finally realised Creative Writing wasn’t for me and decided to change my mind, although I had to carry on for the rest of the year I learnt I could.  I went clubbing and hated it and at times I struggled along. If anything I’m most proud of when I struggled, I was doing okay even when things were tough and I was getting little sleep. Finding out I was Dyslexic was also a HUGE thing for me and such a relief.

IMG_3411[1] IMG_3399

December 

The last month of my first semester done already. All my deadlines got closer and I knuckled down to get things done but that wasn’t the most important thing this month. This month kicked off a huge part of my life, No People Club formed and it was the start of me constantly being in Kingston Hill and having some incredible friends I hope I will have for life. Then I headed home for Christmas which I appreciated more than ever (especially with my beautiful camera!) and got a job I loved and the news I’d been offered a part on the teaching course later in the year!

NPC 20131225-211131.jpg

January 

My Gramps called me at midnight and said ‘Babe, this is going to be your year’ now I know he was right. I decided this was the year I’d pass my driving test and wanted to be more positive. I went to the SU bar more and more with the boys and got into practising, although I was still terrified. I got my first 1st on an assignment, played  gigs with the boys and opened up to them too. I applied for the KUTalent awards, saw You Me at Six and found a fellow mad person in Amy.

DSC00486 DSC00597 20140129-220236.jpg

February 

Being me I forgot how to relax..again. So I worked really hard, had quite a few sleepless nights and stressed. I felt lonely too, especially at weekends. But I got so much out of music, Ali and I met We Are the In Crowd ( Twice!!!!) and I took my sister to see Taylor Swift. Little Lexi turning two was hard but we got there and she LOVED her pretty dress. Rhys finally turned 19 😉  I spent a lot of the month feeling anxious, like something wasn’t quite right but got through it eventually. Then I got the news I’d been shortlisted and after a visit from Mum I finally relaxed.

IMG_3789 IMG_3822 IMG_3811 DSC00702 IMG_3749

March 

Not the best start to the month getting Evacuated and taken to hospital for possible Carbon Monoxide poisoning, lots of long and painful blood tests before Ali could take me home. It sounds silly but then he was all I had and he was absolutely amazing. After sleeping for a few hours after getting the all clear, I got to go out and drive before coming back to the news that I had gotten the Student Ambassador job, something I’d wanted since before we started, which lead to me being PAID to blog, a dream come true. I still didn’t sleep (lucky me) but I did go to the awards. Losing hurt like hell but now I’m fighting to win before I leave! I spent time in the studio with the boys…little did I know the first of many hours. I failed my driving test (again) but felt on top of the world because I’d finally started getting my nerves under control. I took my sister to see Fall Out Boy and went to my last day of classes as a first year (eek!). Despite all of this I was still pretty low, but I had to keep fighting, I spoke at an event for lecturers and felt really proud and then tackled trying to find a flat.

IMG_3875[1] IMG_3924 IMG_3937 IMG_3943

 

April 

This month really was mental health based, I found a new love in piano to help me through things, earning my own money was setting me on track and I was able to set up a new plan with doctors when I got really ill. On the positive though I recieved two awards from the English department, I won Academic Contribution in First Year and got commended for Best Overall Performance! I finally got to announce Basingstoke Live, finally found a flat and went home to rest. Two assignments down and two to go, no slowing me down!

IMG_4029 IMG_3983 IMG_3963 IMG_3812

 

 

May

This month I found out teaching really wasn’t for me…and that’s ok! I got through it in a Secondary School…something I never thought I’d be able to achieve. I found my place in practice with the boys and really enjoyed it and I got a little better and more confident with the band, recording, gigging, so exciting! . The best part though? After 5 attempts I passed my driving test!!!!!!! The best feeling in the world and the weirdest thing? I celebrated in a social way, drinks with the boys, drinks with my work friends and of course once I got home going out in the car with my sister was something very special.

1509719_10152848442828206_190602469637506024_n (2) DSC01515 IMG_4090 IMG_4099

IMG_4119

June 

Practice, recording, practice recording. My life this month and I loved it (minus getting dropped on the head). I said goodbye to teaching and saw The Fault in Our Stars (falling in love with it), made a cake for my Mum and made some big steps. I went on a night out with girls on my course, we’re now the best of friends and went straight to work the next morning…although at the end of the day I was exhausted I was so proud of myself and had so much fun! Leaving halls wasn’t emotional, I was ready to leave and wouldn’t miss them in the slightest (I like my sleep too much). Rhys came to stay and I actually learned a lot from him. I caught up with old friends and got used to being back in my home town (a big difference from the hustle and bustle of Kingston). Oh and don’t forget the bands teaser video!

IMG_4142 IMG_4185[1] IMG_4239 10417446_10152925908118206_699032724958692702_n IMG_4232 IMG_4240

July 

BASINGSTOKE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE. Only one part of this month but something absolutely incredible. Meeting up with friends, quality time with family and travelling to see uni friends. My results finally came back with 3 1st’s and 1 2:1, an average of 71%, a first wahooo! The singles were released and I nearly broke my wrist (again not the best idea).  My baby sister turned 13 too 🙂 Other than that I was pretty bored…

No People Club Stoke Live IMG_4356 IMG_4397 IMG_4326 IMG_4352 IMG_4346IMG_4334

August 

So here we are, this crazy month. Moving again, Reading Festival, actually going into central London for a night with the girls, taking control of my health and myself, celebrating six years, working like CRAZY, finally getting work experience, sorting out next year and going out with the beautiful Jen and getting ready to turn the big 2 0!

IMG_4461 IMG_4436

 

 

IMG_0001 IMG_0017 10559757_10153096129458206_6076936978528095345_n IMG_0032 IMG_0072 IMG_0057

 

That’s it a whole year and what a year it’s been. I’m so pleased, so proud and so happy to have done all of this. Thank you to everyone who has been a part ❤

Next year going to be crazy. I can’t wait.

 

Chloe 🙂

 

If you missed any of these or want to read more then click here and it will take you to the list of all my posts for A year in the life of a fresher

 

 

Getting ready for the year of the twenty something.

Leave a comment

In a few short hours I will end the last month of my teenage years and then in a few weeks embrace the title of 20 something for the next decade… Ask me a few months ago and I would have told you I am point blank refusing to enter my twenties, I will have my 18th birthday again and never grow up. Now it’s a different story. This month has been an odd one but I feel like it’s changed me so much already. It’s no secret that my teenage years were pretty rough, school was hell and it was in my teens that I experienced some of my deepest lows, a place I never want to go again. Now I’ve been able to put that behind me, it feels so freeing. My god I sound like a hippy. I’m still your straight up rock chick, the amount of Jack Daniels I managed to knock back last night pretty much certifies that, as does the long list of tickets that I’ve already bought for this year…oops. So I’ve written a list about some of the things I’m most proud of, this is only the start. 

 

Moving in with Ali wasn’t the only thing to change me, but it’s helped. It’s nice having someone to share dinner with and waking up next to him in the morning, it’s nice to know that when I go back to uni I’ll come back to smiles rather than my little room in halls. If I’m on a low it’s generally easier to handle, not all the time though (I’m still working that part out). I feel so happy and content and this is something I’ve waited for. We’ve made the right decision now this is our first little home together 🙂 

IMG_4176

 

I’m going out with friends Freshers was a bit tough for me, I wasn’t in the right mindset with all the changes to go out and party and I didn’t know what I wanted. I’ve been to club night twice now and had a girls night in London, something I wondered if I’d ever actually do. After my night out with Jen last night I’m planning another, this is a BIG deal for me and I’m really proud of myself for being able to do it and not letting my illness get the better of me. 🙂

10559757_10153096129458206_6076936978528095345_n

Jen and I last night on her 19th Birthday 

 

 

Sorting out my mental health  I’m going back to mentoring tomorrow after having to leave because I only get a certain amount of funding for each year. Honestly I’ve struggled this summer for a lot of different reasons. Ali and my Mum have helped a lot but it was hard being away from friends I’d made, missing the life I’m used to in Kingston. I want to focus this year on my strategies for lows. I know they may never completely go but at least with some help they’ll be more manageable. 

I love my job I’m in a job that I love. Student Ambassador doesn’t sound gruelling but it gives me so many opportunities. I got out and talk to kids who remind me of myself, I share my love for my uni and my subject. Now I get to write professionally, be a content editor and help with the media and marketing stuff. I learnt so much by just being in the office for a week and it’s cemented my passion for digital media. I love my job so much and after having more than one that I didn’t enjoy growing up it’s so refreshing to feel good at what I do! 

 

I don’t feel under pressure by the future. Who says when I should and shouldn’t do something? I’m not in a normal relationship, I’ve spent over a quarter of my life with Ali and I’m only 19. We’re not getting married any time soon because we both want to have careers, which we’re both getting on with. I’m going for internships  and continuing to write (work experience in now 100% confirmed for April 2015!!!!) and he’s getting work experience in his field as well as both of us throwing ourselves into the band. I’d be lying if I felt completely free, a lot of people I know are getting married and having children or have their ideal engagement rings in their head…I don’t think about all that too much. The only thing, which is slightly pressured is having children but that’s biological. Ali and I are happy and well, I think we’ve done one of the hardest bits by living together, now we’re just going to plod along and see what happens after we graduate. 

In short I’m ready to say goodbye to my teenage years and hello to my twenties. That said I will not be stopping eating Turkey Dinosaurs, ice lollies or raiding the sweet shop…ever. 

A visit from the family

Leave a comment

IMG_0027

My beautiful Roses from my Grandparents 

Since moving in I’ve felt a little up and down, with the moving and leaving the caller job, trying to find other work, getting used to being around Ali all the time etc. I was nervous about my parents coming to visit. Mum and Dad have never seen the flat before and although I knew they’d like it I wanted it to look nice. 

I’ve spent the day in the Student Ambassador office, I received special training from The Student Room (eeeek!!) and started in the office looking at strategies, writing replies to people and getting ideas. I’m once again doing what I love. It was a long and fairly tiring day but I really enjoyed it (I enjoyed my after work nap as well). 

I was worried that Mum and Dad visiting me would upset me, I love living with Ali but when I’m on a low I crave familiarity. I’d had to come straight from a doctors appointment as well with a doctor who I had to discuss my mental health with. Yay. It’s safe to say she didn’t have a real grasp of depression when she kept saying I was ‘doing fine’, recommended counselling and basically tried to push me off as the uni’s problem. 

As soon as I got through the door though, I relaxed. My Mum, Dad and Sister were here, looking very comfy. Mum and sums sat on the sofa, Dad with a cup of tea and everyone was chatting. Having everyone together made me so happy. I got a load of moving in cards from home, flowers, chocolate and a vase for us from my Grandparents and Mum and Dad took us for dinner. 

Now I’m the most comfortable I’ve ever felt in the flat, the family are gone but I’ve got a part of it staying with me. I really wouldn’t change a thing 🙂 

 

 

Girls evening L.O.N.D.O.N

Leave a comment

I’e spent all of today around women and girls, starting with the morning with Mum and Sums and later on to meet the girl in central for drinks and dinner. A few months ago I went on my first girls night out, then girly day and now a girl night in the beautiful capital, probably my favourite place in the world. I’d bought a new dress (which had to be mended just before I left, thanks Mum!, wore heels in the Shard and although I would have been MUCH more comfortable in my jeans I had a lot of fun. 

I’m so proud of myself for going, I went on my own and came back on my own without being anxious and I managed to get through the evening with a clear head. It doesn’t sound like much but for me it’s a really huge step because it was pretty out of my comfort zone but now nobody can stop me! The girls are already talking about plans for London on my birthday and another meal (although booking ahead this time!!). The Shard, Leicester Square, Covent Garden, beautiful. 

Here are some of the best pictures from tonight, thanks girls I had a blast! 

IMG_0012

Top of the Shard selfie !

IMG_0014

Cocktail in Bella Italia, prices in the Shard were very pricey! 

IMG_0016

That POUT! Me and the beautiful Dani 

IMG_0017

Looking like the baby of the group despite being 2nd oldest! L-R Laura, Amy, Dani and me 

IMG_0008

Some of the beautiful decoration in the bar we sat at

IMG_0007

The view from floor 31! 

I play festivals now! Basingstoke Live 2014

Leave a comment

 

I feel alive and I never want to forget today. I finally took to the stage and kicked arse. You know what I’ll say it my band is incredible and now we had an audience big enough to agree with us! For the first time in I cant remember how long I didnt have a panic attack or anything. I didn’t cry or scream or lose it. I was okay and the boys were too. Apart from a glitch with an amp (now sorted) the set went fab! A brilliantly warm day for the festival, people enjoying the set and I was so proud of us and the incredible response we got. Our stickers were on the ice cream trucks and random people, one girl was walking around with one on each arm advertising us! There will be more photos to follow but for now I know my home is on stage, my bands singles are out and we played an incredible gig! Now it’s time for a few more drinks and some downtime with the boys before everyone goes home! To everyone who came today, thank you so much including my incredible family and friends, thanks to the organisers, thanks and I love you to the amazing best friends I get to share making music with. I’m so bloody happy right now and the stage is definitely still my home.

 

Why I LOVE Kingston

Leave a comment

It’s no surprise to any of you who read this blog regularly that I am absolutely in love with my university. I study there, I live there, I have friends there, I met my band there and I want to stay there. Without sounding cocky after my results came out I could have applied to other places I recieved A*, Distinction *, Distinction *, Distinction and B overall and had a stack of UCAS points I didn’t expect. I worked bloody hard and threw up in my exam, so yes I was proud of myself. This actually let of a fair bit of snobbery, people would ask why I was applying to Kingston with my grades and I’m writing this to explain why I chose Kingston and why I want to choose them again.

Kingston was one of the first places that I felt like I could fit, I was excited as well as terrified but that didn’t stop me. Since I got here it’s been amazing, the support I get, my incredible tutor and lecturers, my mental health team, the student life team, working with the students union, awards and endless opportunities. It is because of all of this I get incredibly angry when we are seen as a number on a league table, spend a year like I have and you’ll realise life is abut more than tables. I didn’t even look at them when I applied! I just wanted to be happy.

Now my first year is over I can say that despite some challenges and my decision to become a full field literature student, I’m happy. I’m so, so happy. I still find people giving me a look when I say where I study because they study somewhere more prestigious, blah, blah, blah. Oxford, Cambridge, UCL I know for a fact none of these places would have been right for me as a person. I’m more than just a brain in a tank. I love that my lecturers treat me as a person and arn’t too busy to have a chat when they have office hours. I love the fact that my tutor hasn’t given up on me despite some really bad anxiety this year.

Most of all I love the fact that I’ve been given a chance and a boost of ambition. I’ll finish my degree in 2 years and start my masters, which will hopefully be at Kingston. This is a post about uni pride because that’s what I feel so strongly. I’m not trying to recruit people (I’ve already done that at Open Day), this is just how proud I am of my uni. I honestly think Kingston has helped me so much in fighting my illness and boosting my confidence so far, for that I’ll always be grateful.

Updating the blog and thank you

Leave a comment

Those of you who follow my twitter may have seen an explosion of blog posts dated a while ago come up. I’m not advertising just clearing my backlog of blogs I didn’t post, didn’t finish etc. The next week or so I will be doing this but also posting my regular posts with pictures and my musings like this one. 

I wanted to use this post to say thank you to you all as well. My followers have gone crazy and in less than a year I nearly have 100 followers which means the world to me and gives me so much confidence in my writing when others in the field haven’t been so supportive. It’s a great feeling when people say I don’t have good writing skills I can pull this up and go well these guys don’t think so! My writing is always improving and scrolling back to September I can see the change regular writing has achieved. I hope to carry on and have an incredible second year for you all to read about. If you want something new I post a new book review every Sunday night at http://www.ihadtobuyanotherbookcas.wordpress.com please take a look if you want!

 

Thank you so, so much

 

Chloe 

 

A day in London with Mumma Bear

Leave a comment

IMG_4260 IMG_4263 IMG_4265 IMG_4266

Just some of the pictures from today. 

Today I headed back into London for a trip with my Mum! I’ve been waiting for this for a few months as we decided to go on a big shopping trip after her birthday so that we had money to spend in the sales. That part didn’t go as to plan but I’ll get to that later. We had an absolutely amazing time and I was just laughing and smiling all the time. I was just as crazy as my mother for  change and despite trying on a load of clothes I didn’t feel low about my body which is a big change for me.

I know from my past experiences of sales shopping I can get pretty down about the whole thing because I don’t feel like I ‘look right’ in a lot of the newest fashions or I don’t know how to wear them, which sounds silly but some girls make it look effortless. Mum and I hardly found anything after getting through Oxford Street a lot quicker than usual, we then decided to walk to Hard Rock Cafe London. What looked online like a short walk was actually a very bloody long one, but we saw some of the beauty of London in the sunshine.

I love London, I love being able to see the history of a street in my mind as I walk past the old buildings. The heart of the city sets my imagination on fire! Would I live there? No, not in the centre I don’t think but somewhere like Kingston, Wimbledon, Richmond would be nice.

I treated Mum to a cocktail in Hard Rock as well as myself. Mine was so sour you couldn’t drink it quickly if you wanted too! It was nice to spend time with my Mum, treat her and have a laugh. She’s been through a lot with me and a lot of trips in the past haven’t been easy with me,  because of that I love to treat her.

After cocktails it was off to meet the lovely Joe who spent the afternoon with us in Leicester Square and Covent Garden. By this time though it was starting to get busy so after a wander around we headed back to BTown.

I have such an amazing day today and I don’t think I’ve laughed so much in a long time. This was just one thing I want to do for my Mum to say thank you to her being a rock. I love these days out we have now I’m older and can treat her…you’re still not getting a house in America yet Mum, I’ll have to earn a bit more first!

Be your own cheerleader (I’m awesome!)

Leave a comment

I have one of THE most confident people in the world as a best friend. We got into a conversation a few days ago about being more confident and knowing when to applaud yourself, I know for a fact us Brits aren’t very good at it. Oh that’s another thing Rhys is American, that’s not to say that all American’s are super confident but it seems like there is a better attitude out there towards promoting yourself. 

I’ve been really up and down for the last few days, so when I started going down again today I decided to get out of the house and head to the library and try and write in the quiet. I ended up with a very different afternoon, a long walk in the sun, bumping into loads of people from school and college as well as an old teacher. While I was talking to people I realised something. I’m pretty awesome and I’ve done damn well. There I said it. It even feels awkward to write it down because, well, I don’t think that it’s something I’m really not used to. 

You know what though? I feel like it’s something that should be done more often, we should be able to shout out when we’ve done well and just be able to say (like Rhys does frequently) I’m awesome. We should be able to have that confidence when we walk into interviews or classes and just be like I know what I’m good at. Not in an arrogant way but just to be happy about what we can do and not always trying to play it down. 

So here’s mine: 

I’m great at being able to read and analyse for my degree, just send that first my way! 

I’m a great songwriter and performer 

My organised self has been known to save a lot of people’s asses! 

 

Be your own cheerleader or you may not have one! 

 

Post the reasons why you’re awesome below 🙂 

I found an American, can I keep him?!

Leave a comment

Image

 

My favourite American

Today I handed in my keys and bought an American home with me. That’s right Rhys has come to stay for a few weeks and after lugging his stuff from Kingston Hill to Seething Wells for our lift back to Basingstoke. Rhys, as usual, was a charmer with my Mum and sister. I can’t wait to show him around but helping him settle in at Ali’s tonight was odd, it’s so strange to have another person at Ali’s but I’m hoping he will find it fun and have a great run up to Basingstoke Live!

Right now I’m cuddled up with stuff all around me in the box room, it feels good to be home.