Tag: goals

The Only Goal I Have For The Rest Of 2020

The Only Goal I Have For The Rest Of 2020

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Like many of you I started 2020 with some goals. I wanted to get fitter, slim down, get my wedding paid early so I didn’t have to worry about it at the end of the year. I wanted to work on my writing, carry on building my career, so many things.

Well, I don’t know about you but most of those goals went down the toilet from April. We have, collectively, gone through a major trauma as human beings. There aren’t many people who will end this year and go wow, what a great one. 2020 will go down in history…and it’s only August!

Whether you’ve been furloughed, lost your job completely, have been trying to home school or have been working the whole way through all of us have had challenges that we didn’t see coming or couldn’t have planned for. Funnily enough global pandemics which lead to entire countries locking down for months isn’t covered in any training course I’ve been to or exam I’ve ever taken.

A lot of things have also been taken from us they might be big things like not being able to attend the funeral of a loved one, missing out on meeting a newborn who you’ve loved since you found out they existed. It might have been something smaller – being able to hug your loved ones (this one I really struggled with) or going for a coffee with friends without anxiety taking over.

I’ve made no secret of the fact I’ve struggled a lot with my mental health, sometimes it feels as if I’ve got over one hurdle only to slip and fall at the next. It’s not a nice feeling. For me, personally, I’m sad about the big and the small things – I couldn’t take my sister with me to pick up my wedding dress, we’re wondering if the wedding we planned will happen, we’re moving at the end of the year as a result of the pandemic. It’s a lot, it really, really is.

I know I’m in a fortunate position. There are family and friends around me who are supporting in any way they can, we’ve managed to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. That said something has to give – which means I only have one goal, one expectation of myself for 2020.

To get through it.

After everything, for all of us, that has to be enough. So I am giving anyone reading this the nudge to let go of what you thought 2020 was going to be about. It’s not easy, I know, I’m awful at letting things go but we should normalise it.

One day, one hour, one minute at a time if you need to.

Just keep going.

Do You Really Have To Get Up At 5am To Be Successful?

Do You Really Have To Get Up At 5am To Be Successful?

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We’ve all seen it, the days of multimillionaires that start a 5am with an intense workout, a mix of strange ingredients in a smoothie, micro meetings and switching their phones off at 7.30pm for meditation throughout the evening before going to bed at 9. But these people are deemed successful so they must be doing something right. Right?

Maybe not. Hear me out.

This way of living, first of all, sounds very boring – it also sounds like something that is steeped in privilege. We can all work on ourselves and develop good habits, eating better, getting more exercise and getting off of our phones – I think everyone could benefit from those. But, most of us have jobs, families, housework, commitments etc. This isn’t me creating excuses but think about it for a second.

A lot of these ultra wealthy people we’re doing all of these things in their 20s, in the start of stages of their career. They were doing whatever they could to get themselves where they wanted to be. Now they have the means they can have the best food, they might even have a cook. They could spend hours in the gym with personal trainers who are specialists. They can run a business with a team behind them.

We see these ideas and schedules a lot. While before it was in magazines (I can’t remember which one had the ‘what’s in a celebrities fridge section but ugh) now it’s on our social media. It puts a new wave of pressure on us to strive to these ideals that are exactly that – ideals.

While I’m obviously not writing from my mansion and private library (I wish) people have called me successful in the past. Most of the time I’ve brushed them off BUT I do know people who in my mind are successful. They have 8 hours of sleep, they do like having a takeaway pizza, they also like going out with friends.

It’s easy to get sucked into the idea that there is one formulae for success and if we do it then we’ll get the result we want. Life doesn’t work that way so instead why don’t we make the changes we can.

I’m trying to go to the gym twice a week and increase my vegetable intake. Because I have work, friends, family and other parts to my life I’m doing the smaller things to contribute to being a better version of myself and hopefully more successful. Also if I got up at 5am every day I would not be a nice person, or a well person – just saying.

What do you think? Let me know below!

Welcome to the 20s!

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Happy New Year! Well that’s it we’re into the 20s!

Going into a new decade makes me feel excited and nervous. Of course a lot usually changes in a decade but this one seems more grown up…it’s the decade that I’ll hit my 30s. I’m going to get married, I plan to hopefully be a Mum and move to a house at some point. Although, I’m not making any solid plans or promises.

That said, I’m taking it day by day, month by month, year by year. I have things I would like to do/ to happen in this decade but I don’t want to put a huge amount of pressure on myself if that makes sense? I’m going to hit 30 and that’s making me freak out a tiny bit because there’s this big idea of everything you should have done.

Anyway, I digress. I’m looking forward to this year, to seeing what happens and trying my hardest!

So, in 2020 I’m aiming to

  • Work on my fitness but also love my body in the process
  • Actually start on my bloody book
  • Be kinder to myself in regards to my mental health
  • Save, save, save for our honeymoon
  • Work hard on my freelance career and projects I enjoy

What are you looking forward to in 2020? Let me know below!

What are you doing

What are you doing?!

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Over the last week or so you might have seen the question: what are you doing? The whole thing kicked off after Forbes named Kylie Jenner the next self-made billionaire which was controversial at best. Then the New York Daily News but you this tweet.

What are you doing? Kylie Jenner

Yep, anyone else feel a little gut punch when they first read that? I did. Even if you don’t think about the enormous privilege that Kylie has there’s something not quite right with this. I take my hat off to her for making a business and being successful from that but it was just damn ridiculous to ask what we were doing with our lives. It adds to this idea that we should all be at the same level, that there is an ultimate goal and if you’re not there, then you’re a failure.

I used to have a plan for my life. I was going to graduate with a 1st, I was going to get married in my early 20s, have 2 children by the time I was 30 and a career I enjoyed. I had everything mapped out until I didn’t. Hell, as I write this I’ve got no idea what I’m doing. I’m not married, I don’t feel ready to have a baby any time soon, I don’t have the best selling novel or a big job. Does that mean I’m a failure? To people who changed their minds or had a life change, are they failures? In short, no.

In the age of social media, it’s easy to forget that we’re seeing people’s highlight reels. We might see these super successful 20-year-olds or our friends with a ‘perfect’ life. We don’t see the sacrifice, the late nights, the tears. We don’t see the days where you look and feel like shit, where you want to pack it all in. I know for a fact these successful, beautiful or brilliant people have days like that. They are human, as are we.

There is so much pressure on us to look perfect, to follow a certain path. What struck me about it is the stress I personally feel about timelines. I can bet most of you reading have felt this too! Each of us are doing something with our lives. For some of us, that means getting out of bed in the morning, for others it might be being creative, raising kids or working a job. We’re all living our lives in different ways and that’s what important.

I’d love to hear what you are up to, however big or small. Live your life, and screw what anyone else thinks.

 

 

 

My Mental Health Goals For This Year

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It’s been a while since I’ve posted about mental health, and that’s mainly because I haven’t known what to write. I’ve had so many ideas for other type of content that I’ve kind of tried ot focus on all the positives. That’s not to say that mental health posts can’t be positive, which leads me on to this one…

Last year was incredibly tough for me mentally, my confidence took a few beatings and my self esteem got smashed. I had to build myself back up quite a few times in the space of 12 months (my 2017 in review is here), so I’m proud of myself but want to take better care of my mental health in 2018.

So, here are my goals…

To be able to celebrate everyday achievements 

I’m way too hard on myself. That’s a fact. I want to try and celebrate everyday achievements and be pleased about the small things to try and get a more positive way of thinking.

To work on managing my anxiety in a healthy way 

I get anxious, I’ve had anxiety for years and I want to focus on healthy ways of tackling it. Whether that be through writing, listening to music or simply talking about it rather than letting myself get so stressed and worried that everything seems 100 times worse.

To look after my body better 

Ok, ok, I’ll admit last year I wasn’t great at looking after my body. I know that when I get a bit of exercise I feel better. I’ve also been making steps to drink more water and having a skin care routine too! Fingers crossed!

To accept rough patches as part of life, rather than defining life

I need to stop panicking when I hit a rough patch and thinking this is where it’s all going to go wrong. It’s a known fact anxiety can do this, but I’m stronger than my anxiety.

To make time for self care every week 

A bath, a good book, getting away from a screen, whatever I need to do! It’s really easy to burn yourself out so I’m trying to give myself a little bit of time each week to keep myself in good shape!

What are your mental health goals for this year? Let me know in the comments below!

2018 so far

How’s 2018 going so far?

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Getting towards the end of last year I was nervous, I didn’t know what 2018 was going to bring and I was a little scared. I had a really shitty time last year and I didn’t know how much more I could deal with. So, how’s 2018 been so far? 3 weeks in.

In the last 3 weeks, I’ve started to feel something that I haven’t in a long time, and if I’m honest I’m almost afraid to say it, but I’m feeling hopeful. That’s not to say I’ve gotten into a ‘new me’ phase, I certainly haven’t, I have just carried on living my life as it is but it’s been ok.

So far I’ve already seen positive steps in where I want my career to go. I’ve been working on my blog and thinking about what I want to do and where I want to go with it. I’ve had conversations about the future. Am I optimistic? I guess, but I’m more cautiously optimistic than anything. I’m just working my hardest and hoping that it’ll get me where I want to go this year.

As my readers know, I set goals at the beginning of the year and I’m working towards them in a chilled out way. I’ve been working on my goal of getting to 5000 Twitter followers this year and I’m already a quarter of the way there (you can follow me here). I’ve noted down a few ideas towards my novel and I am working my ass off.

I don’t know if this year will be better or not. I don’t know if this is a great start leading to an even better year. For me though, having hope after a really tough year is a great thing. I’m moving forward and I have a game plan, so 3 weeks in I’m happy and hopeful.

How has 2018 been for you? What are your goals? Let me know in the comments below!

Why You Don’t Need to Reinvent Yourself in 2018!

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You’ve seen it all around you. New Year, New You! 50% off Gym joining fees and weight loss programmes blah, blah, blah, blah. I can bet that I’m not the only one who’s bored and a bit pissed off with the messages that surround us in January.

There’s a lot of pressure in January that we put on ourselves and each other to give things up or change ourselves. I’ve mentioned in previous posts , while it might be a good time for some to be extra motivated, this isn’t the case for me and many others. It’s dark, it’s miserable, a lot of people are struggling with SAD . Not exactly the most motivating, right?

That’s not all though. Think about the messages you are seeing, what do they all have in common? I can guarantee 90% of them have some kind of financial gain from making you want to change yourself! Of course, there are some resolutions which are personal and healthy and I have no judgement on that.

I’ll level with you, currently, I am medically classed as overweight on the BMI scale, which isn’t ideal. That’s something I’ve been working towards changing for myself BUT I’m not getting stupid because it’s a certain month on the calendar. I’m going to take my time and do it slowly rather than losing a lot of weight in a short space of time and then put double the amount back on.

While there’s so much pressure and you can see other people doing it you can be yourself. This doesn’t need to be the year you do everything and reinvent yourself and if you don’t in the next 12 months your a failure. At the end of your life, your last thought isn’t going to be ‘I wish I spent more time working on New Years Resolutions, etc.’

Do things on your own terms, when you feel ready. Don’t let pressure from other people force you into doing things. Resolutions can be a great way of motivating yourself, but only if that works for you. As for me? I’ll be carrying on as I was, working towards my goals one step at a time for as long as it takes. You know yourself best, no one else.

My Goals For 2018

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Welcome to 2018! January 1st, the start of a whole new year. If you’ve been following my blog for longer than a year, first of all, thank you so much you’re amazing, anyway, you’ll know I don’t like New Year’s resolutions. I say it, again and again, every year. Long story short, it’s cold, it’s miserable. Why start something new when it’s kinda shitty and everyone feels a little down?

So I’m all about making goals and they don’t need to be big or have a huge final solution. They can be whatever you want them to be and you can start them when you feel ready! So I do have a few goals for myself BUT with the idea that I want to start them. It doesn’t have to be finished by the 31st December 2018 at 11.59 but if it’s started then I’m pleased.

Get to 5000 Twitter Followers

Originally I wanted to do this in 2017 but it didn’t happen but I did get to 4000 which is a great start. So I’m going to work to get to this goal and connect with more people.

Start working on my first book…whatever that may be! 

I’ve wanted to write a book for years, I get ideas, I start writing, I hate everything I write, I stop. The cycle goes on and on. I need to carry on writing, even if I think it’s awful because the end result might not be…

Work towards a healthy weight

My weight has really changed in the past few years there’s a lot of factors, the biggest of which was breaking my spine, but other things too. Emotionally I wasn’t in a good place during the early part of last year but I did make a change. Between July and November, I lost just under half a stone, which is a start but I want to continue to make progress. I know what my goal is but it’s very personal and I don’t want to share it.

Write more poetry

I’ve loved writing poetry more this year and really getting into it. I’ve even published a poem here! I want to work on it and maybe share a little more…

Be a kinder to myself 

Sometimes I’m too hard on myself, I’m gonna try and change that this year.

Work my ass off in my job and see results

I started a job as a Social Media Manager in 2017 on a new project which is really exciting. I want to work hard and see results and see it grow. I’m so excited.

Manage my Anxiety in a healthy way! 

I’m a lot better than I was with my Mental Health but it’s an ongoing thing, I want to carry on getting my anxiety under control.

 

What are your goals for 2018? Let me know in the comments below!

2017 on chloemetzger.com!

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A new year and more blogs to write and plan for you all to read. I really had trouble tonight thinking of what I wanted to write, what direction I wanted to go. A few nights ago I asked those of you who follow me on twitter (@chloemetzger) who you would like to see more of on my blog and if you’d like me to write two book reviews a week (!!). The majority of you did want two book reviews a week, which is something I’m working on doing in this years planning. In terms of what you’d like to see you asked for more mental health related posts and more general lifestyle posts. I am more than happy to give the people what they want!

So far I post Book Reviews on a Thursday, Feminist Friday’s and Sunday Seven. Three regular slots that my lovely subscribers and Twitter followers know are coming. After hearing back from some of you I’m also hoping to add a weekly mental health post and more general lifestyle in between. Basically, I want to get a more regular schedule together for the blog and make 2017 really productive and positive year for the blog.

I’m really proud of how it’s evolved and how many of you that I get to talk to and interact with online. It’s because of all of this and the positivity I have felt from you guys I’m taking active steps to write my book. Yep, I’m not calling it a resolution for this year because I know that it could take years before I’m happy with it and I also know that there’s a chance it will never get published, but what the hell.  This blogs in its fourth year now and I know I can write long pieces from my dreaded dissertation, so why not?

Is there anything else you want to see or maybe that you’re excited about? Let me know in the comments below or tweet me!

Waiting pays off! My good news!

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Hello to all my lovely followers, to start off with today has been a little bit crazy and fast paced and I’m absolutely shattered as I write this. I’m laying in bed at my Basingstoke home with the stupidest grin on my face. All that I’ve been posting about trying to stay positive and not get too low? Well it’s worked because I’ve had great news today!

I have been missing uni lately, missing the structure, learning, having societies to go to. It’s because even though I wouldn’t have been able to go to class, I would have had something to think about, work on rather than my brain going around and around. Really I needed a new challenge, which I have been setting myself. I’ve settled into writing habits, been packing for the trip to Athens and trying to establish some sort of routine around my back, which is harder than it sounds.

Today marks 5 weeks since my accident and by complete surprise I finally got my back brace! My Physio is an angel, and absolute angel and so are the rest of the team. Thanks to them I’ve had a lot less pain after they thought waiting another 2 weeks for my brace to be fitted would be ridiculous. They’d had training themselves so simply went up, got the brace and got me fitted (took 3 members of the very smiley team). I’d been so nervous about physio but I laughed so much and although it was painful I’m so looking forward to getting better now.

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People do stare when I wear it, at first I didn’t care I was just so happy and felt so much more protected. My nerves got a bit worse walking though town when people stared but for the most part I was just so, so happy that I finally had my brace and I have things to look forward to. Already today was going better than yesterday and most of the day before. Even though it was pouring down outside it was like I just had this little sunshine following me around that let me forget about everything else for a little bit.

I logged onto my laptop with a few things to do between packing and had a lot of free time to kill (or so I thought) until an email flashed up. I saw that it was about the internship position I’d gone for an interview for, I thought I hadn’t got it. Well how wrong was I! I’ve been offered one of my dream internships!! I’m now a Social Media Coordinator! I get to handle our social media, go to events and live tweet, it’s all so exciting! I’m flying with happiness about it all after thinking I wouldn’t get it at all!

So I got down to the office in the pouring rain as quickly as my spine would let me. Everyone was lovely and welcoming. I felt instantly comfortable in the new office and will be issues with my staff email and such when I start after I come back from my trip to Athens! I’m recognised as staff now!

I’ve got so much to look forward to now that I can relax a little about not getting the grade I wanted and buying a bigger pair of shorts, because you know what? Right now I feel pretty damn awesome.