Tag: Fibromyalgia

Top Posts of 2018

My Most Popular Posts Of 2018!

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I don’t know about you but I find my analytics absolutely fascinating. Stats might not be everything but year after year I love to see what my readers have been getting up to on my site. So, I thought, why not make a post out of it? 

I’ll always write what I want to write but, at the same time, my blog – and the opportunities I get from it is down to my wonderful readers. On that note I’m going to stop babbling and let you actually read! 

Number 10: Fibromyalgia And Me 

I’m really pleased this post made my top 10, because it was one I was very nervous about posting. I only got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia earlier this year and my reaction was…complicated.

I didn’t want people to see me differently BUT needed to reevaluate parts of my life. Now I feel much better and can be much more open about living with Fibro. The post that started it all is here.

Number 9: I’m Starting Again 

In July I found myself job hunting again and it knocked my confidence. This post was just chatting about how I felt, what I was trying to do and a general update. You can read about it here. 

Number 8: I’m In A Funk 

Another one of my mental health posts to hit the top 10. I wanted to get out there that I was struggling and comparing myself a lot to others. It was a to the point post about how we look at ourselves and comparison. 

Number 7: Carrying On: Surviving The Past Year 

A post from April about the previous 365 days that had been pretty tough (little did I know this year would have a LOT of ups and downs too!). I like to keep you guys in the loop and this was looking back on how far I’d come.

Number 6: I’m Obese? 

I really wanted to write about body image and expectations because of a few knocks I’d had. Following on from a doctors appointment where I was deemed overweight-obese by my BMI, despite being a size 12-14 I decided to get my feelings down once and for all! 

Number 5: Why I Will NEVER Use An App For Birth Control 

Responding to a worrying idea that people were using a fairly risky app as a way to try and prevent pregnancy got in the top 5. I made my feelings very clear and, actually, had a lot of great conversations about it! 

Number 4: The Pros and Cons Of Long Distance 

I’m in a long distance relationship for chunks of the year. I get asked quite a lot of questions, some weird sympathy and so I wrote about what’s it’s like – and you can check it out here.

Number 3: Taking The Plunge – I’m A Freelancer 

Not something I entirely planned for this year but it happened! I’m planning to do an update on being freelance in the new year too! The blog about how it all started is here. 

Number 2: Harry Potter Haul: Updated 

One of my most popular blogs EVER was a Harry Potter haul I wrote while at university. So, when I went to London for a Potter filled day shortly after Christmas I came back with a little collection and wanted to share! The updated version is here.

Number 1: Stressed, Depressed, But Well Dressed? 

This is one that really, really surprised me. I wrote the post a few years ago about a top I saw with the slogan on and how I felt about the phrase. Next year I really want to talk more about Mental Health! You can read it here.

So, that’s my top posts of 2018! Thank you to each and every one of you who head read, liked and commented on my posts – it means so much. 

Which of these was your favourite? I’d love to know in the comments below! 

*please note these were the most popular at the time of writing.

5 ways to pace yourself over Christmas

5 Ways To Pace Yourself Over Christmas

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CHRISTMAS IS COMING!

I absolutely love Christmas, it’s one of my favourite times of the year BUT it’s also incredibly busy. Because of that, I need to pace myself and I know that’s the case for a lot of other Spoonies too! So here are 5 ways I plan to pace myself.

If you can get things done in advance, go for it! 

I started Christmas shopping as early as I possibly could. Not for the bragging rights (although yes it is a nice feeling) because it took a lot of pressure and stress out of the run-up to Christmas.

It also meant I could spread the cost out which was another thing off of my mind. For me, long periods of intense stress can cause a flare so I’ll try and help myself as much as possible.

Plan in rest time. 

I know that I need to get a good sleep and not be on the go every minute of every day. I need to plan in rest breaks to make sure that I’m healthy and can get the best out of the day.

To do this, I try and have at least one day of the weekend to myself or make it more chilled. I try and make sure that I get to bed at a reasonable time too! Health is important and being sick over Christmas completely sucks.

Know that it’s ok to say no! 

Everyone wants to meet up, go to this, go to that. As much as I’d love to go and do everything the simple fact is that I can’t. Over Christmas, I miss out on pay because I’m Freelance! I need to not only look after my health but also my bank balance!

Let people help you.  

I’m not great at this. I fight to be as independent as possible but with such a busy time of year taking help when possible can really help. Someone else wants to drive? Let them! Someone else wants to do the cooking. Go ahead! If people want to help you they’re doing it out of kindness and, usually, love.

Try and stay in some kind of routine where you can! 

Christmas day is obviously exempt from this if you are like me and wake up stupidly early because you are so excited. I get a week and a bit where I’m not working. As much as I want to nap as much as possible every single afternoon I know it’s going to impact me later so I try and stick to some kind of routine.

I might get up a little later, stay up more or go out with friends – but I still have some idea of getting a good 8-9 hours every night then get dressed and get on with what I want or need to do.

 

Is there anything you’d add to this list? Let me know in the comments below!

Paying for a good time – Spoonie Life

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Like most 20 somethings I want to have adventures, memories I can look back on when life slows down a bit and say ‘that was a damn good time’. Unlike most of the people I know, they don’t have to barter with their health. If you’re a fellow Spoonie, you’re probably nodding in agreement.

Back in September, I was lucky enough to go to Disneyland with my Mum and sister. I mean, DISNEYLAND! We were taking a trip to Paris and I was ready for it, matching t-shirts and ears were essentials. From the moment we booked I also had a niggling feeling, a voice in the back fo my mind you’re going to pay for it later. And, boy did I. Even though we rented a wheelchair, got fast passes so, and had rest stops in the hotel (on more than one occasion I had to take emergency naps so that I could watch the fireworks or make it through dinner. I thought I’d handled the trip reasonably well it wasn’t until the last day I realised… I was in minus numbers, the spoons were scattered all over the floor.

 

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The thought that we have to ‘pay’ or reserve our spoons when we know we’re going to have to do something that will make us tired is hard. When I was first diagnosed, I rebelled against it – a lot. I got incredibly depressed and tried to prove to myself I could still do everything – I wasn’t ready to accept I needed to modify things. Now, I am better, I’ll try and plan a rest day here and there or not set my alarm and just let myself sleep. Little things that make life easier.

I joke that a big night out or day of big plans has me making deals with the devil, but really it’s made me appreciate them even more. As soon as I acknowledged that this was my life now, I started appreciating the things I do, because I have to choose them carefully. That doesn’t mean I can’t be spontaneous and have a trip on the beach – but I just have to rest a little more, maybe get a train rather than drive.

I refused to give up every fun part of my life to this illness – and I know I am truly lucky to do so.

Cold Weather essentials for spoonies

Cold Weather Essentials For Spoonies!

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Brr, it’s chilly!

Very few people love the freezing cold, but when you’re a Spoonie (a name for someone who has a chronic illness) it can be a bit of a nightmare. For me, personally, the bold really makes my joints ache so it’s easy to feel a bit miserable and grumpy. So, it got me thinking, what are my essentials for the cold weather as a Spoonie?

A Good Coat 

Ok, I’m going to sound like your Mum. I was young and cool once and wanted to just wear a hoodie and no coat. Those days are OVER. Spending money on a warm coat is a good idea because staying warm is key (you’ll see a theme through this post). I’ve had coats from Superdry for the past few years and can highly recommend them.

Hat and Scarf 

I have a really cosy Gryffindor scarf that I absolutely love and top it off with a matching red hat (go, go Gryffindor). These can make all the difference for keeping yourself warm and you can get some really cute ones too! Also when I was leaving the house and it was -5 outside they were essential.

Gloves 

I lose gloves all the time. Every single year. Which is why I try not to buy ones that are really expensive. As nice as keeping your fingers toasty is, for me it’s much more important that the thicker material on my wrists keeps them nice and toasty as my wrists can get very sore when it gets to the minus numbers.

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Hot Water Bottle

I’ve been known to take a hot water bottle to work. I have absolutely no shame in that. They are an amazing invention. Cold at night? Hot Water Bottle. Achy joints? Hot Water Bottle. Period Cramps? Hot Water Bottle. They rule all! You can also get them really cheap on Amazon or in Primark etc. Mine was under £5 a few years ago.

Blankets 

I have a thing about blankets. Pro tip, Primark have amazingly snuggly blankets. I’ve got probably 7 or 8 blankets, most of them are Disney. I love them and you can find me every night snuggled up with a blanket.

Fluffy Socks 

Do I really need to explain these? Good for keeping your feet warm, they’re fun and you can slide across the floor.

Warm Drinks 

All the tea for me!

 

What do you think is essential for getting through the winter months? Let me know in the comments below!

 

 

 

Why Sleep Is So Important For My Mental Health

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I love to sleep. For me the idea of curling up in PJs at the weekend and getting a solid 10 hours is bliss. I know, I know, I’m 23 years old, surely I don’t need that much sleep. I thought so too until I worked out that, actually, sleep can completely change my mental state. So, why is sleep so important for my mental health?

Before I had Depression or Anxiety, I knew that if I didn’t sleep, I wasn’t in the best mood. My sister is the same if we’re tired we’re easily annoyed and I get particularly emotional. Joy of joys but I could deal with it, I was just grumpy doing so. Then when I was a teenager I realised that a lack of sleep meant much more, it made me get a lot sicker. I struggled with my emotions, even more, to make sense of what was going on with me. It took on another meaning.

In my recovery and fight with mental illness over the past decade, I’ve had to make sleep a priority. And I’ve also had to be kinder to myself. In uni pulling an allnighter wasn’t an option for me, the emotional drain the next day from not sleeping was not worth it. I started making sure I had a plan for busy times to make sure I could get my 8 hours and be as mentally healthy as possible. Did it always work? Of course, it didn’t! But I had the knowledge and knew that sometimes if I felt down that was why.

Just as I managed that and was happy, I broke my spine. Even after I recovered I found the fatigue getting worse and worse, impacting me mentally and physically.  Eventually, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which meant sleep was even more important as it now impacts me physically.

Why am I writing about this? A lot of people who prioritise sleep are deemed ‘lazy’ or ‘boring’, I’ve been in the situation so many times. A lot of people claim that, because of my age, I should be out and partying and shouldn’t need sleep. You know what I do and even if it didn’t impact my health it’s my choice.

Are you a fellow sleep lover? Let me know in the comments below!

Fibromyalgia and Me

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In the first few months of this year, I was struggling with something that I didn’t want to speak about. A few years ago I broke my spine and in theory, it should have healed in 6 weeks and been a lot better within a few months. Then it didn’t… I had physiotherapy, acupuncture, had a routine by the rehab team, spinal injections the lot. It didn’t get better.

Test after test showed nothing, I was exhausted and in pain which was taking over my entire body. I was told that the spine wasn’t the cause but why did it hurt so much? I was absolutely miserable. Then I watched the Lady Gaga documentary Five Foot Two and it changed everything. It all clicked into place, I had Fibromyalgia.

The NHS website describes Fibromyalgia as:

Fibromyalgia, also called fibromyalgia syndrome (FMS), is a long-term condition that causes pain all over the body.

As well as widespread pain, people with fibromyalgia may also have:

  • increased sensitivity to pain
  • fatigue (extreme tiredness)
  • muscle stiffness
  • difficulty sleeping
  • problems with mental processes (known as “fibro-fog”) – such as problems with memory and concentration
  • headaches
  • irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) – a digestive condition that causes stomach pain and bloating

One of my best friends, Sarah, also has Fibromyalgia, she’d hinted it was something I should look into but I didn’t want to face it. I didn’t want a chronic illness (I know, logic wasn’t working here). Until one day I went to see the kindest doctor I knew and broke down. I told her every ache and pain, the tiredness, the stress. The fact I was hiding from everyone.

It’s not easy to get a diagnosis, there’s not a blood test or a scan. I was referred to a Rheumatologist which had a long wait. I took the day off work for the appointment and went with my Mum. I was an anxious mess, what if he didn’t believe me, but what if he did? It’s a hard set of emotions to explain.

I shouldn’t have worried, my doctor was incredible. We had a long chat and he checked the key points on the body which would lead to a Fibromyalgia diagnosis in combination with other factors.

The thing is, without Lady Gaga (and my friend Sarah) I probably would have had no idea what was going on with my body. More importantly, seeing people who are so successful (Gaga) and kind (Sarah) but still living with this condition gave me hope. Hope that I’d manage all this pain and anxiety, that I could still be a boss babe despite it all.

I’m hoping that in future I’ll be a lot more comfortable to talk about living with Fibromyalgia. It’s taken me a long time to process and feel comfortable about it myself. BUT I am still me, I still achieve what I want to and I still kick ass.

Thank you so much for reading!

Does Positivity Work With Pain Management

Does Positivity Work in Pain Management?

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Hello, my lovely readers!

Today I want to talk about managing pain. It will come as no surprise to my regular readers I think about this more than most people after an accident a few years ago. I live with chronic pain and most people don’t know when they meet me it can be pretty surprising because I’m very positive as a person. And that’s central to today’s post, does positivity work?

I’ve met with a lot of doctors and multiple times I’ve been told ‘your positive attitude will pull you through pain’. A few years ago I would have scoffed and I definitely think this doesn’t apply to every situation. When I first broke my back positivity wasn’t happening, I was in agony and when I wasn’t I was asleep. Then it came to recovery and my attitude did play a big part.

In Recovery 

This was probably the hardest time to be positive. There were a lot of things up in the air at this time, I was obviously in a lot of pain and having to navigate what was going on. That said trying to keep some positivity was important, particularly in physiotherapy because that shit can get tough! I kept focused on getting better and other positive things and it definitely helped.

In Diagnosis 

Diagnosis was weird, I was happy to have an answer, horrified about what it meant for me and wanting to look at what I could do next. It was a mix of emotions. No matter what I had this determination not to give up, I had to still live my life. I got told time and time again the determination and all the positivity I could muster would get me where I wanted to be.

In Life

Ah life, it does like to give you a kick when you don’t need it. Life is hard, people try and say it’s not but let’s be real. So, staying positive in life when your body hurts all over? I take it one day at a time. That’s honestly it. The only future things I try to focus on are things I’m looking forward to, I try and write down one thing a month and when I’m in a lot of pain have the mentality that this will pass and once it does I’m a bit closer to the thing I’m looking forward to.

 

So, yes I do think positivity plays a huge part BUT having time to be upset, to struggle and to be furious is a big part of recovery. Do I have days where I’m pissed off or I cry because things changed? Of course, I do. Sometimes I have weeks where I feel this way. THIS IS NORMAL! That said, I do feel that, if and when you can be trying to be positive is important.

How do you stay positive? Let me know in the comments below!

3 Years Later.

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I don’t know why every year I’m surprised at how long it has been since my accident. That day changed my life completely and I didn’t even know it at the time. Long story short for those of you who are new here, when I was at uni I had a horse riding accident. It was what seemed like a simple fall which lead to me think I was fine, despite an ambulance trip. After 2 weeks,  a doctors visit, another visit and then an emergency hospital visit I was told I had damaged four vertebrae in my spine. And, so it began.

I’m not going to write a whole post on the past 3 years and everything that happened since, instead, I want to focus on now. As I write this I’m in a job I’ve been wanting to be in since I was at university, I have a flat, friends and a wonderful partner. That’s all well and good but it is still a struggle. I have been in pain since the accident and I will continue to be in some form for the rest of my life because of the damage that was done.

There are days when I’m depressed, where I think why did his happen to me? When I want to pack everything in and lay in bed. I don’t I carry on, I lean on the wonderful people around me when I need to. I take pride in my job, my blog and the things I have and continue to achieve. Of course, I do get upset that I can’t easily go and do things that others my age can. Going out and being on my feet all night? Nope, not happening. Taking part in a sport or intense exercise? Not a pretty ending. I miss riding, I miss standing at the front of gigs but I try not to focus too much.

Mostly, I’m using what happened as something to remind me how far I’ve come and how much more I can, and will do. I’m working on a new idea, which relates to what happened (and that’s all I’m saying for now). I’m trying to forgive myself when I do struggle and need to ask for help. I’m getting through, each day as it comes, I’m accepting the fact that I have to do things a little differently.

I’m fully aware that this post is probably a brain dump, it’s also not my most eloquent post but that’s what it’s like. I don’t want sympathy, it is what it is and I’m here, I can still walk and I’m still going. That’s all that matters.

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