Settling in and Adulting Hard


It’s been 35 days since I accepted my first full time job. In the past 35 days I’ve bought a new car, left my two part time jobs, started a job, moved out of mine and Ali’s first home, voted in the European Referendum, booked my graduation, got my results, released two new singles and played the main stage of the biggest free festivals in the South East. I get up, shower, drive to work, design, market and all that jazz, get lunch with some colleagues, maybe cuddle a dog or two, then I drive home and for the past few weeks I’ve always had something to do or somewhere to go. To say I’ve been busy is an understatement and so I hope that you will understand the reason the blog has been so all over the place!

More than anything post uni life has made me tired but happier. The end of uni was hard, third year wasn’t my best and I was terrified of what the future was going to hold. That’s not to say that everything has been easy starting my new job. I almost had an anxiety attack on my first day, I’ve been trying to understand the ins and outs of the company as well as working out how the hell I fit in. I’m lucky though, I have a great team of people who are genuinely nice and supportive. I haven’t found anyone who I don’t get along with (which is good because there are less than 20 of us).

Slowly and surely I’m finding my feet in the big adult world. There have been some wobbles and times when I’ve sat there and thought ‘I don’t know if I can do this’. I’ve had days where I’m so tired I’ve just cried for no reason and yesterday I got very lost in London (that was something I got very stressed about). The thing is though, knowing I have a team that I can ask questions to and rely on is a brilliant feeling. I’m still the new girl, I will be for a while but that’s ok. In the meantime I can work on this whole ‘being an adult’ thing…that might take a little more work.

Image from Pinterest

So many positive things!


Today was my last day of lectures for my second year! The next time I go into a lecture it will be the final year of my undergrad degree! It’s gone stupidly fast! So to celebrate that fact, yesterdays good news that I’m going to Athens( !!!) and that I’ve been feeling really good about myself lately.

So this morning I got up (admittedly after hitting the off button on my alarm and missing my lecture) and got to work helping Ali finish his assignment, while also buying myself tickets to see Sarah Millican next year and booked my flights and hotel for Athens. Then off to uni, the hospital for blood tests, lunch with Dani, a quick Primark dash (seriously, one of my FAVOURITE shops on the high street) and then off to band practice. I never stop being busy.

I’m finally doing it, I’m finally taking hold of my life and making things happen. I’m travelling with a few breaks planned this year, Durham, Prague, Athens and Amsterdam for my birthday. The band and I are getting ready to have a busy summer, I’m going to be working, writing and hopefully a lot more swimming and riding.

I wanted to write this to all of you because I’m aware I haven’t been as perky as usual and while I’m trying to to fall asleep while I write this, as well as having a stack of blogs to upload this weekend, I’m finally really happy. I have incredible friends, family, an amazing relationship, my band and of course my education, which means so much to me. Basically I’m feeling positive and I’ll hold on to that as long as I can.

Relaxing with Rubey.


I know for a fact that I’ve worked really hard this week, possibly a little at the extent of my health but I don’t regret it. After practicing 3 evenings, working one, going to uni, playing an AMAZING gig in central London and finally getting back all the sleep I missed yesterday, I wanted to do something today. Funnily enough my idea of relaxation had four legs and is almost double my height.

It’s no secret that since starting riding in October I’ve fallen in love with it, as well as the horses at the stable. For me it’s just a way of letting off steam, focusing on something else and learning. As soon as I walk in the stables I feel myself relax, no matter if I’m on a low mood or just having a stressful day. I’ve become one of those people I never used to understand!


Getting kisses from Rubey 

I’ve been talking with Rubey’s owner since just before christmas, when I left her a note to say that her horse was lovely and I’d gladly help out. I finally got around to it today, realising that I needed to do something that relaxed me, even if it was hard work. Sapphire (Rubey’s owner) is a total sweetheart and really helpful, we spent today giving the horses hay, sweeping the yard and giving Rubey a groom which was the fun I needed to just relax.


Although I didn’t ride today, helping out and hanging around the stables gave me an even bigger mood boost than waking up happy this morning did. I also realised I’m more confident, I’m starting to work out which horses do what, who I like to ride etc. I’m also lucky enough to be able to help out with a horse I adore and it seems she likes me back after some of the cuddles I got today. So once I’m a confident enough rider I can help out more and actually exercise her.

Hopefully this is a sign of a good week to come 🙂

Manic, manic, manic

I’ve realised that I’ve been writing every 2 days instead of every day…whoops. It’s been manic, I’ve been in practice every night, I was off uni head sick on Monday, seeing lecturers Tuesday, Horse Riding and work yesterday (although that post will be uploaded) and then uni and practice again today.

Right not I’m barely getting enough sleep and food let alone having time to solidly write…apart from the other night went I found some old novel pieces and got VERY excited. I’m exhausted and not looking after myself too well…yes, yes I know it’s naughty of me!

This happens once in a while it’s all go,go,go! I have, however, planned nothing at the weekend so I’m hoping to catch up with some rest and make sure I can get rid of my bad mood that keeps trying to creep back in.

It’s definitely a case of trying to maintain balance as a girlfriend, a friend, a band member, a student, a Student Ambassador and trying to keep in touch with my family. I think all students feel a little bit more stressed this semester, we know we need to work hard and there’s only 2 months and 2 weeks until we finish lectures for second year…gulp.

So either way I want to be more organised with this blog, if I know I’m going to be busy maybe plan ahead and write lots more to do list.

Right now I’m off to Nando’s and then booking a trip to Prague! Speak later! 🙂

Counting down…

So today is…

7 days until my birthday

8 days until my birthday meal

9 days until I’m part of a big surprise

11 days until my Student Loan (thank god!)

18 days until I go back to uni

I love being excited and September has always been a month where I am in full countdown mode, December is too but well who doesn’t cont down to Christmas? I could down until book releases, albums I want to read. I love it. When I was struggling at school I’d check off each day I was at school and would be able to tell you how many more days there were. I like having something to look forward too, it’s important to me. I like to organise what I’m doing. Control freak? I suppose sometimes I am but it’s a way of not being anxious.

Why am I writing about all these count downs? I realise that I’ve written a lot about mental health lately and while I haven’t been negative I have been struggling. I wanted to show you all how amazing this month is going to be, how amazing this year is going to be actually. I have so much that I’ve got going on, it’s going to be a little overwhelming at times but I’m just so excited about it all! It’s not that I’m wishing my life away I’m just focusing on the positive things to come. I hope everyone can do this at least once in a while 🙂