Feminist Fridays: You’re Not Guilty, Just Hungry

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In the last few days I’ve found myself using negative language in regards to food, when talking about eating a cupcake or getting take out with a friend I’ve been describing eating these things as ‘bad’ or ‘naughty’. I’ve been surrounded by other women talking about a ‘naughty’ slice of cake or hating themselves for not sticking only to fruit. I’ve also noticed that I hardly ever hear men speaking like this. I don’t hear men worrying about getting into a certain outfit for Christmas events.

I don’t know where this came from. Why there’s this idea of naughty food. Actually, that’s a lie, I know exactly where it came from. It came from diets, from women being told that to be beautiful they must look a certain way. Of course, if we’re having a little history lesson here, the concept of beauty changes throughout time. Look at the early 2000s when everyone who was anyone strived to get to a size 0, whereas a hundred years ago being that thin was seen as a sign of poverty, to be bigger was to be more desirable.

With Christmas just around the corner so many of us are denying ourselves the food we want to slip into a dress perhaps. I’ve been told by countless women they’ll buy clothes they know are too small in order to make them lose weight. Now, I’ll make it clear I’m not against anyone looking after themselves and being fit and healthy but I do wonder what impact this will have in the long term. How linking food to behaviour will impact not only us but those around us. By calling a piece of food good or bad will impact us mentally with these feelings of guilt that really don’t belong.

So I’ll say it and I want you to repeat it. I’m not guilty, just hungry. Life is short, while I know we all want to be our best selves eating a muffin while you’re out for coffee with your friends isn’t the end of the world. Buying a dress in your actual size and knowing you’ll be comfortable rather than struggling and feeling self-conscious if it doesn’t fit isn’t a terrible thing.  If you’re hungry, eat. Starving yourself and denying yourself won’t make you happy. You’re beautiful just the way you are.

Book Review: Hello Me, It’s You – Edited by Hannah Todd

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‘Hello Me, it’s You is a collection of letters by young adults aged 17-24 about their experiences with mental health issues. The letters are written to their 16-year-old selves, giving beautifully honest advice, insight and encouragement for all that lays ahead of them.’

When hearing about the premise of this book, I was intrigued. I know that when I was 16 and suffering with a deep depression I felt alone and that no on in the world felt this way, that it wouldn’t get better. I really wish I’d had this book. Each letter is written by a different person telling their younger selves what they wish they had known and what is to come. It was interesting to read, partially because of a lot of the letters written were by people my own age, writing back, it definitely made me think about what I would want to tell to my 16-year-old self.

Each letter was deeply emotional and took a different direction. While some authors felt that they would simply tell their past selves that things get better, others gave advice on what they were going to go through and how to cope or ways they would cope eventually. I think that this is a book to pick up and put down because it can be quite heavy reading. There are a lot of issues discussed, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, general feelings of a lack of self-worth. Of course, these are issues that need to be spoken about, but as someone who has been and currently is going through mental health issues it can be hard to read about these things, so I found myself taking a break here and there. If nothing else this book should remind you that self-care is important.

I will admit there are some point where I wondered if you would really tell your past self just how bad things will get, but I think that really depends on you as a person. Of course, all of this is hypothetical, we know that we can’t go back in time and tell our past selves anything, however, what is incredible about these letters is that it could speak to someone who feels like they are alone. Each and every one of these letters is unique and will be able to speak to young people who are struggling and encourage them to either talk to someone or give comfort that they are not alone.

I gave this book 4 stars. It was a brilliant idea and I think it could help a lot of young people through some really difficult times. More books like this are definitely needed to show people that mental illness does not mean that your life is over. It also doesn’t mean that you need to live in fear, nor do you have to live alone.

Wonderland – October’s Owlcrate

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It’s Owlcrate time again! Unfortunately, I think this is going to be my last Owlcrate for a while just because it is really expensive to ship to the UK. That said, I’ve absolutely loved receiving them so hopefully at some point in the future I’ll be able to start my order up again. This month’s theme was Wonderland and it was incredible.

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First up was this adorable copy of the novel Alice in Wonderland and matching bookmark, designed by Risa Rodil. This was so cute and it means that there were two books in this months Owlcrate, I’m always up for more books.

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Wonderland Elixer Exclusive Tea. This was made for Owlcrate by Riddle’s Tea Shoppe and it smells lovely. I’m not sure what it will taste like because I’m not a flavoured tea person (although I’m trying to be) but I LOVED the absolutely gorgeous tin that it came in.

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Some original Alice illustrations also made an appearance. This magnet made by Evie Bookish has a quote that I want plastered on the walls. A book lovers dream.

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How cute is this bookmark?! Made by Authored Adornments this is so cute and has the ‘curiouser and curiouser’ quote on it too. So cute!

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This is an exclusive cover for the novel Heartless by Marissa Meyer. I’ve never read a book by the author but I’ve heard so many good things so I can’t wait to get stuck in and see what I think. img_1449

Here’s the monthly badge, while it’s cute, again the badges are something I don’t really feel are needed in the box but they’re a cute addition.

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What caught your eye in this month’s box? Let me know in the comments below!

 

Sunday Seven: Adventures at Winchester Christmas Market

I took a quick trip down to the Winchester Christmas Market today, it’s only half an hours drive and I’ve never been, even though it’s now one of the best in Europe! This Sunday I wanted to share some of the snaps I took today!

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I picked up this adorable little fox! Isn’t she the cutest! This was in the craft section from a company called Original Apple Box and I am in love!

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These were some of the adorable Christmas decorations that were on sale, Abbie gets her Mum a glass ornament from the market every year, there were so many lovely ones on sale.

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I have to admit when I heard there was a fudge hut I was set, I was going to this Market. It didn’t disappoint I was able to bring home Chocolate Raspberry, Chocolate Mint, Chocolate Orange and Vanilla. But, because I’m nice I’m sharing them with Ali instead of devouring them all myself.

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Winchester Cathedral looks really pretty, I’m not religious but it is a beautiful building, I manage to snap a picture of my sister in front of it actually smiling!

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A quick selfie in front of the ice rink with Abs.

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These adorable little tea light holders were so beautiful, the market is full of some really unique things.

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This year is the 10th anniversary of the market and it’s open until just before Christmas! It’s also really close to Winchester town center, if you’re interested in going check the website for all the info!

Feminist Friday: 10 Fab Feminist Quotes

“Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”
― Sheng Wang 

“We need to reclaim the word ‘feminism’. We need the word ‘feminism’ back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist – and only 42% of British women – I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? ‘Vogue’ by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?” 

― Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Womanpexels-photo-1

“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.”
― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, We Should All Be Feminists

“Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and naming for you; it means learning to respect and use your own brains and instincts; hence, grappling with hard work.”
― Adrienne Rich

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“Feminism is not a dirty word. It does not mean you hate men, it does not mean you hate girls that have nice legs and a tan, and it does not mean you are a ‘bitch’ or ‘dyke’; it means you believe in equality.” – Kate Nash 

“Women are leaders everywhere you look — from the CEO who runs a Fortune 500 company to the housewife who raises her children and heads her household. Our country was built by strong women, and we will continue to break down walls and defy stereotypes.” – Nancy Pelosi 

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“For I conclude that the enemy is not lipstick, but guilt itself; we deserve lipstick, if we want it, AND free speech; we deserve to be sexual AND serious – or whatever we please. We are entitled to wear cowboy boots to our own revolution.” – Naomi Wolf 

“Value yourself for what the media doesn’t – your intelligence, your street smarts, your ability to play a kick-ass game of pool, whatever. So long as it’s not just valuing yourself for your ability to look hot in a bikini and be available to men, it’s an improvement.” – Jessica Valenti 

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There’s just as many different kinds of feminism as there are women in the world. -Kathleen Hanna

Feminism is dated? Yes, for privileged women like my daughter and all of us here today, but not for most of our sisters in the rest of the world who are still forced into premature marriage, prostitution, forced labor – they have children that they don’t want or they cannot feed. – Isabel Allende

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Book Review: Great Small Things – Jodi Picoult

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“You say you don’t see colour…but that’s all you see. You’re so hyperaware of it, and of trying to look like you aren’t prejudiced, you can’t even understand that when you say race doesn’t matter all I hear is you dismissing what I’ve felt, what I’ve lived, what it’s like to be put down because of the color of my skin.”

When a newborn baby dies after a routine hospital procedure, there is no doubt about who will be held responsible: the nurse who had been banned from looking after him by his father. What the nurse, her lawyer and the father of the child cannot know is how this death will irrevocably change all of their lives, in ways both expected and not.Small Great Things is about prejudice and power; it is about that which divides and unites us. It is about opening your eyes.

I have to start by saying that I have had the release date of this novel written down since it was known. I’m a HUGE Jodi Picoult fan and have been lucky enough to speak to the lady herself a few years ago when The Storyteller was released. Jodi’s novel is a particularly prominent in light of the violence we have been seeing pouring out of the US against black people, and how quickly things can turn nasty. I requested a copy of this novel from the publishers and was lucky enough to receive it in return for an honest review.

As with all Jodi Picoult novels, the story is seen through the eyes of multiple characters. Ruth is a trusted and hardworking nurse, she is also African American. Turk is a husband, new father and White Supremacist. When baby Davis dies, Turk wants the hospital to pay and to know why the woman he demanded not be near his son was present. Ruth is thrown into a world of accusation and uncertainty, can she finally face the fact that the world might not be as colour blind as she thought? Meanwhile, lawyer Kennedy has her eyes opened to the world in a way that she couldn’t understand.

Once again Picoult has chosen to write about a moral situation that raises a thousand questions. It’s something completely new to me to read from the perspective of a White Supremacist. While there is a fair amount of novels out there from the perspective of a black person facing prejudice, novels that I want to read and to understand. I never would have picked up something from the perspective of a White Supremacist, because I didn’t see the point. Why would I want to read about hatred? However, Picoult manages to show the humanity in everyone. She doesn’t paint Turk and his wife as someone to disregard because of their views, nor does she sugar coat them. I felt angry and uncomfortable reading Turks perspective, but I realised that this was important, because this is what people face. That said, Ruth is not painted as perfect either. While she is a model citizen, the widow of a fallen hero and loving mother, Picoult shows her reactions in a human way. She shows not only what people would expect of the characters, whether that be in a positive or negative way, but also shows them as real people who make judgements, mistakes etc.

That said, Ruth is not painted as perfect either. While she is a model citizen, the widow of a fallen hero and loving mother, Picoult shows her reactions in a human way. She shows not only what people would expect of the characters, whether that be in a positive or negative way, but also shows them as real people who make judgements, mistakes etc. While I understand why Kennedy was included as a point of view, she wasn’t particularly memorable for me. She added a middle ground to the novel but I didn’t feel particularly affected by her until the very end.

This is without a doubt an important modern novel, it’s been compared to To Kill a Mockingbird (one of my favourite novels of all time) and while I understand the comparison, it’s different. To Kill a Mockingbird had a clear right and wrong, you knew who was innocent and who was guilty. While few people would agree with Turk and his beliefs (and I certainly don’t agree with them) the emotions, thoughts and to some extent certain backstories make you unclear about all parties. Picoult has refused to show a clear cut good vs bad situation.

I gave this novel 4 stars. I really enjoyed it and I thought the concept was incredibly unique as well as very well written. That said I had mixed feelings about some parts towards the end of the novel, some I just felt didn’t fit (I wish I could go into more detail than that!), but I think this is down to personal preference rather than a flaw in the writing/plot. Picoult has once again shown that she is not afraid to confront issues that we might not want, or feel too awkward to talk about. She’s cemented her status as one of the most thoughtful and intelligent writers of the 21st century.

Great Small Things is out in the UK on November 22nd!

The I Love Sleep Tag!

Lately, I’ve found myself even more in love with sleep. My weekend lie-ins are one of my favourite parts of the week, particularly after getting up at 6.30 every weekday (and that’s the latest it can be *sob*).  So I thought I’d give this a go, partly because it’s fun and partly because my brain has turned into a sleepy mush. I found this over on Dreaming of Spoons, go take a look!

1. What time do you go to bed?
Usually between 10 and 11, got to get some shut eye!

2. What’s your routine before sleeping?
Set out my clothes for the next day, check on my Hamster, go and pee, brush my teeth, set my alarm and curl up.

3. What do you do when you can’t sleep?
Try and tense and then release muscles if I know I need to sleep, if it’s the weekend I might get up and do something.

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4. What is your favourite sleeping position?
On my front, facing the wall.

5. What is something people may wake you up for?
Ali wakes me up on a regular basis to tell me to stop snoring…whoops.

6. What time does your alarm clock go off?
6.30am

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7. Snoozing or getting out of bed immediately?
Normally I just get up, I start work a while before Ali does so I don’t let it keep going as I don’t want to wake him up, top girlfriend award over here!

8. Do you sleep in late on the weekends?
I try to, it doesn’t always work but when I can I’ll let myself have a lie in, particularly in the winter.

9. Are there any strange things you do while sleeping?
According to Ali I chew in my sleep…I have no idea when or how this started.

10. How many pillows are there in your bed?
Four, two for me, two for Ali. Although occasionally I get to steal all of them 😛

11. What do you wear in bed?
Character PJs.

12. Do you sleep with your socks on?
Nope. I like feeling my feet against the sheets.

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13. How big is your bed?
It’s apparently a double but it feels a LOT  smaller than my last one.

14. If I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is…
Switch off my alarm and convince myself to leave the warmth.

15. Do you dream every night?
Not that I can remember.

16. Which dream or nightmare is still in your memory?
I had a nightmare about Smurfs when I was a kid…still don’t trust Smurfs.

17. What’s your biggest dream?

To be happy and successful.

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Sunday Seven: Things That Always Happen When You Start A New Job

This week I started a new job in a turn of events! Here are 7 things that always happen when you start a new job!

The panic of what to wear. 

When you start in a new place there’s always a panic (for women anyway) of what to wear. I only met two people in my interview and I had no idea how formal you were supposed to dress, luckily after a day I could tone it down.

The Linkedin search. 

I like having an idea about the company and the people so I do a frenzied Linkedin look before I start, I’ve also found that in my new job and my old job other people looked me up too, proving to myself that it’s not just me being super nerdy.

Setting multiple alarms to make sure you’re awake. 

I’ve legitimately had nightmares where I’ve massively overslept for work and woken up thinking it was real. Ok that happened yesterday…*sigh*

The dread of learning everyone’s names. 

I’m not the best with everyone’s names, luckily I had a little sheet made for me so that I can check it every now and again to double check who’s who when I get confused.

The awkward nice to meet you handshakes.

Or, you know, just feeling awkward as the new girl anyway..

Getting lost. 

My new office isn’t big but I did spend a few minutes trying to work out how to get out of the building until someone told me…whoops.

Wanting to tell everyone about the slightest cool thing about your job.

I get so excited about my new job that I just want to tell everyone everything that’s cool.

Feminist Friday: Why I Didn’t Take Part in Equal Pay Day Protests

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You may or may not know that yesterday was Equal Pay Day, because of wage gaps due to gender. As of yesterday, many women around the world work for free for the rest of the year, compared to men. While I received invitations from other feminists who were going to walk out of their jobs at 3.34 to protest the inequality and express their anger and frustration. I was not one of these women. I stayed until 5pm, as I do because that is what is in my contract, and that was that.

I completely understand women do it. I am angered and frustrated that there are women who are treated worse than men. I am lucky enough to have not faced that prospect while working. I’ve never been treated or earned less than any men, to my knowledge. While I fully acknowledge there is a problem and it needs to be addressed, but I can’t just walk out of my job. It might be selfish but I can’t risk my job, my career and my life, I’m not in a position to do that. It makes me feel like a terrible woman, a terrible feminist but that’s my situation.   I think that more can be done in terms of laws and reviews of employment. It is true that women are often not given the same opportunities as men, meaning they cannot progress. It’s such a complex issues with so many different avenues to explore and argue. There’s a million shades of gray to this situation and it genuinely made me feel so sad.

Of course, I stand with my sisters around the world to fight for this right, feminism is about equality. It’s literally what it means. We need to carry on fighting for equality and for each other but I refuse to feel bad for risking all I’ve worked so hard for because I can still fight with my words.

 

Book Review: The Girl in the Picture – Alexandra Monir

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‘Nicole Morgan has been labeled many things — the geeky music girl, the shy sidekick to Miss Popularity, and the girl with the scar. Now only one name haunts her through the halls of Oyster Bay Prep. The Girl in the Picture. After high school heartthrob Chace Porter is found dead in the woods near the school, the police are in search of the girl whose picture with Chace is the only clue found amongst his personal belongings. A girl who no one knew was even close to Chace–and whose dormmate, Lana Rivera, was Chace’s girlfriend. Nicole is that girl and now she’s the primary suspect in his murder. But what really happened that night? Were Nicole and Chace dating behind Lana’s back; were he and Lana over? Could either of them have killed him? Told in alternating points of view, that of our suspect, Nicole Morgan, and her former best friend and roommate, Lana Rivera, readers will piece together the story of a starcrossed love, a fractured friendship–and what really happened the night Chace was killed.’ 

I requested this novel a little while ago and said that in return I would give an honest review about what I thought of the novel. I love a good thriller and this seemed to pull me in, the murder of a loved boy, best friends at war, the mention of a scar, what’s not to love? Set in an exclusive boarding school for the rich and talented the crime rocks them to their core, but would either girl have it in her to murder someone?

I’m sad to admit that this novel was not as I expected, instead of a fast paced thriller with various twists and turns that left me in shock I was left with an ‘okay’ novel which used a lot of YA cliches as well as some quite see through plotlines, which was disappointing. At first, I thought I’d really like Nicole in particular, she seemed smart and approachable as a character, but as the novel wore on I felt increasingly frustrated with her and her plot, it just didn’t seem like she carried on as the same character throughout. This was similar with Lana, however, she appeared to be a stereotype rich bitch girl from the beginning, without a lot of depth or vulnerability to her, which was disappointing.

The plot itself could have worked really well but I just felt that it had so many holes in it. If I’m honest I think it would have worked much better as a longer novel, at many times the plot felt too rushed, like it was crammed into the space of a young adult novel and some things which seemed important were almost completely ignored. There’s not a doubt that Monir has good ideas, but I definitely think this would have worked better as a longer novel, simply because there were so many points where I wanted to know more and wanted to explore the characters, their motives and their backgrounds.

I gave this novel 2 stars. I was really excited to read this but unfortunately, it just didn’t show me anything new in the genre. I worked out quite early on what was happening and there were some things within it that just didn’t make sense or just seemed to fall into place too easily in the story. I definitely think that there was potential here but unfortunately, it was too much like other thrillers that I’ve read and didn’t give me anything new to take away from it.

Sad times!