Standing with victims of assault

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This week the news has been focused on the allegations against Hollywood bigshot Harvey Weinstein, with scores of women coming forward to state that he has sexually assaulted, or in some cases, raped them. While the sheer amount of women coming forward is shocking, what was more so was the reaction of people around the world shaming the victims.

There was a variety of reasons why these women were set upon, claims that they had ‘waited too long’, that they were ‘asking for it’ or wanting attention. Some questioned whether these women were telling the truth. There was something missing, however, the trauma these women will have gone through and the outrage at Weinstein.

The fact that, yet again, women speaking out have come under fire when they have faced assault, to me, shows why we need feminism still in modern society. Rather than believe that these women have encountered a sexual predator. Their stories match up again and again. A young actress invited to a meeting about their career by a powerful man at a hotel, lead to his room where he attempted to get sexual favours or assaulted them.

With names such as Angelina Jolie, Kate Beckinsale, Cara Delevigne and Gwyneth Paltrow all speaking about their own encounters we should be celebrating them for speaking out. Assault is incredibly difficult for a person to overcome and as these women speak out, and many more as the days pass, we shouldn’t be shaming them.

Unfortunately, we may never know the extent of this. This was a blatant act of using power to cause fear in young women. Knowing he was an incredibly successful figure, Weinstein, appeared to see himself as untouchable and able to treat these young women as he liked. At the time of writing, he is not working and has checked into a rehab centre. I’m hoping that in the coming weeks a police investigation will take things further.

If this case highlighted anything at all it’s that we need to think about the way we treat victims when they speak out. Instead of instantly questioning and trying to guess if they are guilty or not or if they ‘just want attention’. To imagine what they have gone through and the courage it must take to go to the police. We need to stand with victims of assault, and not to forget men can be victims too, and show them that they can speak out without fear or judgement.

Book Review: The Sun and Her Flowers – Rupi Kaur

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‘never feel guilty for starting again’

In an incredible second collection, Rupi Kaur releases the raw emotion of a modern young woman. From the break down of a relationship to the relationship she shares with her mother, to finding love again when she wasn’t looking for it. Once again, my heart was flung into my mouth reading this and with good reason.

Sometimes a book falls into your hands when you’re in desparate need of it, for me, this was The Sun and Her Flowers. I’ve been a Rupi Kaur fan since reading her first collection Milk and Honey, which spoke to me as a young woman. So, of course I picked up her second collection and devoured it in 24 hours.

When reading Kaur you need to know she is brutally honest. She’s honest about her body, her mind, her sense of self and being a woman. She reflects on the good and bad around her without holding back, because you know that she has held back for so long. There is anger, there is pain and reflection on suffering that has been endured but the poems that describe them are crafted so beautifully that you feel every emotion without sinking into darkenss yourself.

While I’ve already touched upon it the most magnificent part, for me, was the poems Kaur wrote about her mother. She talks about the sacrifices and struggles her mother had to overcome so that Kaur and her siblings could achieve. She wonders what her mothers life would have been like should she have been free to make her descisions. It’s a wonderful insight into the relationship she shares with her mother.

Of course it wouldn’t be a Kaur collection without the accompanying illustrations. There isn’t a fear of showing womens bodies as they are in captivating illustrations. These seem to bring the poems to life at certain points and allow you to visualise the poems themselves.

I gave this collection five stars. This is an absolutely breathtaking collection and something I’m sure I’m going to read again and again. I, personally, found it to be an incredibly empowering collection. I’m sure that Kaur will go far, and I can’t wait to see what she does next.

 

You Can Do It! – World Mental Health Day 2017

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Hello there,

I don’t know what lead you here, maybe you’re feeling a little lost, maybe you saw this on social media and thought I’d see what she has to say. I’m here to tell you, you can do it.

For many, when you have a mental health condition, it can seem as a huge barrier. It can seem like it’s going to stop you achieving your dreams and what you want to achieve in life. There’s a lot of negative portrayals in the media and literature of someone’s life ending. That may have been the old way but with the right help, support and treatment (in many forms) you can achieve what you want to achieve!

Don’t let anyone tell you that what you want to get out of life isn’t possible because of some brain chemistry. What a load of rubbish! Some of the greatest thinkers, performers and artists to have ever lived have had to deal with mental health conditions. It’s a well known fact that in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Dementors were created out from J.K Rowling’s experiences with depression.

Sometimes, the biggest and only barrier is yourself and the voice in your head. It can be completely exhausting to fight your own mind on the simplest thing. I remember years ago when I started university, the thought of getting a bus gave me an anxiety attack. Yep, getting a bus. Then I moved to London and didn’t have a choice, the first few times I was petrified, I was so anxious and panicked. Now, getting a bus in London doesn’t phase me at all, I used to do it all the time. BUT my brain would come up with all these scenarios, it took time but I tamed my brain in that situation and many others.

It can feel like you’re up against the world but I promise you slowly, you can do this. You can do anything. Talk to others, keep going back to your GP until they listen, do what you feel you need to do.

Lots of love,

Chloe

A Magical Unboxing!

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With Halloween mere weeks away it was time for a magical unboxing! As many of my regular readers know I love a good unboxing and I’ve used Lootcrate in the past. So I finally caved and ordered their Wizarding World crate as a little treat for myself! This crate comes twice a month, making it a little more affordable for us Brits. This crates theme is ‘Magical Must Haves’ Let’s dive in!

 

House Scarf 

One of the great things about the Wizarding World crate is that they ask for your Hogwarts House, I’ve always felt and known in my heart I’m a Gryffindor. This is such a well-made scarf, it’s really thick and has me wishing for chilly mornings so that I can show my house pride. Go, go, Gryffindor!

 

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Honeydukes Sweet Shaped Rubbers

Now, I have to admit that I was slightly disappointed that these weren’t sweet treats initially, because who doesn’t love a Honeydukes treat?! That said these are incredible, they are so well made and well crafted. The Chocolate Frog, Jelly Slug, Sugar Candy Skull and Cauldron Cake. They’re so lovely I almost don’t want to use them and keep them on my bookcase.

 

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Harry Potter’s Wand Pen 

I’m so in love with this pen! I think after the Scarf this is my favourite thing in the crate. It’s well weighted and so well crafted. I’m absolutely in love with it.

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MACUSA Desk Supply Set 

The good thing about the Wizarding World crate is that it includes both Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts merch. This is a desk set including a list pad, sticky notes, clips and a folder. It was absolutely huge too! Good shout Lootcrate team!

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Horcrux  Locket Pin 

These are now a collection and I’m so sad I’ve missed previous crates! This is really beautiful and of good quality.

 

That’s it! If you’re interested in ordering your own crate the link is here. This post is not sponsored (I wish!) I just really wanted to share with you this new subscription I’ve become a part of!

 

 

Feminist Friday With… That Marketing Punk

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Tonight I’m so pleased to share my first interview with a guy who calls himself a feminist (see, I told you they exist)! Gareth, a blogger and father, is a great guy on Twitter so I asked him a few questions about what Feminism means to him, enjoy! 

Hi there!

 I guess I should introduce myself… I’m not really good at starting these guest post things… My name’s Gareth, the guy behind That Marketing Punk. I’m a first time Dad to a wonderful (if incredibly energetic) daughter, who has classified himself as a feminist for a very long time. So, when Chloe said that she would be interested to get my thoughts about feminism as a guy, it seemed like a great idea.

So, shall we get on with it?

What does the word Feminism mean to you?

 Ok, so we know that feminism has a different meaning to almost everyone. But for me, it is about absolute equality, both in life, work and home. To me, as a Dad to an amazing daughter, feminism is about my daughter being able to have the life that she wants to do.

In terms of work life, there shouldn’t be a glass ceiling anywhere, for anyone. No matter your sex or gender, you should be able to do whatever job you want to do.

 In terms of home life, there shouldn’t be any preconceived notions about who plays what role. In fact, I believe that there shouldn’t be any predefined roles in the first place… Terms like “housewife” are, to me, outdated – they put women into a role that has already been decided for them.

 Instead of being classified by these roles, both men and women should share everything equally… From raising the kids to smaller things like looking after the house, no one sex or gender should be told that it is their “role” to do those things.

When did you decide you identified as a feminist?

Honestly, I think it was when I was a teenager… Maybe 15? You see, I’d grown up in a single parent household, and my Mum had worked really hard to get our life sorted out. And she’d done really well! I had a very comfortable life. But, it was never easy for her. She had changed jobs almost every year for a while, simply because her thoughts and ideas were being brushed aside for those that men had come up with. There were even times when her suggestions were ignored, but then if they were repeated by a man, they were accepted.

My Mum could have been far more successful at her career if she were a man, and that really hit me hard… Especially since, even at that time, I knew I wanted a daughter when I was older. I thought about it, and what it would mean for my future daughter (if I had one) to grow up in a world like that. And I knew how unfair it was…

This was then further compounded by the way girls at school, and those who identified as girls were treated by the male teachers. Some were gazed at as if they were just there to be attractive decorations, whilst others were overlooked constantly when the teachers would ask questions of the class.

Whilst I hope that it wasn’t the case, to my teenage mind it seemed like they were deliberately being pushed aside so that the boys could get the better education. The female teachers did none of this, however… Just a select few of the male teachers (who are no longer teaching at that school, I might add).

Final thoughts?

 I guess my final thoughts are that there’s still a long way to go, simply because the world isn’t equal yet. But the problem is, inequality has become so ingrained in society now.

I honestly don’t know what else we can do, without somehow hitting a magical reset button. The only light I can see is that, as the younger generations grow up in a world where we are fighting for equality, they are starting to fight too. So when they grow into adulthood and inherit what we leave behind, hopefully, the future will be a far better place for everyone.

 So, for now, I guess my answer is to keep fighting for equality and teaching our children about it. That way, with patience and time, maybe we’ll be able to finally have an equal world.

Thank you so much, Gareth, for this brilliant post. If you’d like to be a part of Feminist Fridays please contact me on chloefmetzger@gmail.com I’d love to hear from you! 

Book Review: See You in the Cosmos, Carl Sagan

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“Sometimes the clouds inside my head get big and grey and swirly and then I hurricane through my eyes. Except I don’t literally hurricane through my eyes—I don’t actually have a weather system in my head.”

There’s nothing that 11-year-old Alex loves more than space and his dog Carl Sagan, named after his ultimate hero. Alex is on a mission, he’s going to record everything on his Golden iPod so that he can send it up into space, for other life forms, just like his heroes Golden Record in 1977. After making enough food for his Mother and booking his ticket, Alex is off on an adventure. Little does he know it will change his entire life.

Wow, this novel. This novel has the potential to make you laugh and cry, which isn’t something I thought I would say when I initially requested this from Netgalley for review. The blurb mentions that Alex would learn about his family and boy does he, but I’m getting ahead of myself in my excitement regarding the novel. This is a story of adventure, love, pain and seeing a world through a child’s eyes.

The novel is shown through Alex’s eyes and in doing so there is an innocence that makes the world more incredible, but his story all the more sad, as a young boy with dreams of space and a dog as his only friend and companion. Getting to visit his online friends at the Southwest High-Altitude Rocket Festival, or SHARF,  working on a rocket he hopes will reach and other life forms that are out there. Along the way, with some luck and kindness, Alex meets friends that will make all the difference to him and Carl Sagan (the dog).

The novel is set out in a diary form of Alex’s recordings, meaning that it is in a childlike spoken form, which worked really well to get into Alex’s head and really see and understand his perspective. The happiness is infectious and it’s hard not to smile along while reading and get excited. This novel, although sad, made me feel some hope in the world, for the people that would help a little boy try to achieve some of his dreams.

I gave this novel four stars. I really enjoyed reading a novel that was set for a younger audience and feeling the love that Alex had for his dog, his family, space. Despite the fact, there were times that I wanted to cry, this was incredibly uplifting it made me think a lot about family and childhood dreams. I’d definitely recommend this novel.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for this opportunity.

Long Distance Love – Visiting on Tour!

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Sunday night I got to experience a bit of what has been Ali’s day to day life for the past month. I finally got to visit and see the tour, because it was finally in a venue close enough for me to drive down and watch. Sunday night it was at the Hexagon in Reading, about a 40-minute drive for me.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen Ali at work and I’ve never seen him doing something of this size so it’s a totally different situation to when I normally hang out at a venue with a cider and just chill. I got to the venue about 5pm to catch sound check and see the rest of the crew. I’m slightly embarrassed to admit I was so amazed by Natalie Lowe’s dancing I just stood and couldn’t take my eyes off her (yep, I looked like a weirdo).

I got to go on a little tour of the venue before going to sit on the Tour Bus and hang out. It felt so strange seeing Ali’s bunk and his life when he’s not with me and knowing we had about an hour to chill out, talk and get tickets before he went off to work and I found my seat.

I’ve never seen a show like it. Just the energy, the music, the happiness from both the performers and audience. It made me want to learn to dance and made me appreciate how hard everyone on that tour works to make it happen every night. So, of course, I was proud, hell I was bursting with pride, my boy is a part of this incredible show! I even saw his dancing at the side of that stage.

It was hard, at the end of the night leaving him to pack up and get on a bus while I went back to my car to drive home. There were a few tears as I drove home. It’s tough, no matter how much I know he loves it and is having a great time, there’s a small part of me that wishes he was coming home too.

Now that’s it, I’ll see him in 3 weeks! Let’s see what the final 3 weeks hold!

September Favourites!

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I don’t quite know how it’s October tomorrow. This month I’ve had a very quiet one, Ali went off on tour on the 3rd, so I’ve spent a lot of time chilling at home and reading. So, this might not be the busiest favourites month but here they are!

Birthday! 

This month I turned 23! I went out a few days before with a few of my closest friends for dinner and drinks (more than a few drinks) before spending the actual day with my family and having the surprise of a Bose speaker delivered from Ali!

Books 

When it’s just me I read a lot. And I mean a lot a lot. I’ve read 8 books this month, around 2 a week! This month I’ve started getting back into reading fiction slowly. There were some really great reads and some I felt were a little disappointing. Making Faces and Fully Functioning Human  were two of my favourites and reviews this month!

 

General

And down to my general choices. I’ve spent the month trying to meet up with friends or seeing family, so that I don’t spend all my time alone! This included friends from my time at uni, my godchildren and family. It’s also been a good month for deliveries including a haul from Typo and my Ginny Weasley Barnes and Noble exclusive Pop Vinyl, as well as my first Wizard World Loot Crate! I think the best part has to have been getting a visit from Ali, even if it was only for 28 hours  and baking for the guys on tour.

My Favourite Posts: 

Long Distance Love

23 Things I’ve Learned in 23 Years 

How Is My Mental Health Right Now?

Goodbye 22 – Looking Back on a Weird Year

Feminist Friday: 10 Things You Can Still Do & Still Be A Feminist 

Using Food as a Crutch

 

Book Review: Making Faces – Amy Harmon

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In the small town of Hannah Lake, everyone knows everyone, but they certainly know wrestling star Ambrose Young, devastatingly beautiful, kind, on the road to a college scholarship and stardom. Fern Taylor, on the other hand, is the local pastor’s daughter, used to melting into the background aiding her cousin, Bailey. On the 11th September 2001, everything changes. As the town watches, horrified as a plane crashes close to home, five boys decide to fight for their country, one comes home. Could anything be beautiful again?

Oh my goodness, what a novel. What a novel. It’s been quite a while since I fell in love with a good work of fiction and Amy Harmon has produced something that will be hard to beat. A novel that focuses on love, loss, sacrifice, friendship and beauty I very nearly cried at multiple points. I didn’t know when the novel was set and by coincidence, I started reading on the anniversary of 9/11, which just made it hit harder. To think and imagine how it impacted young adults at the time and those who came home from war a shell of the person they were before.

I really felt connected to all of the characters. Fern was a brilliant character, I cared about her because she wasn’t a perfect girl. There’s definitely an ugly duckling vibe to her, but she doesn’t seem to feel sorry for herself constantly she gets on with it and just accepts who she is. I think, however, my favourite character of the entire novel is Bailey I like his wit, his outlook and just the optimism he has. I loved the relationship between Fern and Bailey too, there was genuine love and friendship it went much deeper than just being cousins.

The subject matter is incredibly tough and the way that Harmon has managed to weave in hope and a heartfelt message of beauty coming from within was wonderful. This is definitely going to be on my recommendation list. I also want to get my hands on more of Harmon’s novels. I gave this a very rare 5 stars. This is a truly wonderful book, Harmon makes you think about these characters and issues for days after. I was absolutely in love throughout, even though it made me want to sob. I’d recommend it to everyone!

 

Thank you to Netgalley for providing this Advance Reader Copy.

Long Distance Love: 28 Hours, 22 Days.

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I haven’t seen my boyfriend in 22 days, 3 weeks and a day. Now, I know there are people who go without seeing their partners for even longer than that! That said, this is our first go at having a long distance relationship while Ali’s away touring with Rip It Up as a Sound Engineer. So when on the first day he told me he would have one day to come home I booked it off immediately, he was mine for a matter of hours.

So, I did what any girlfriend would do, I got up and went to get him in the pouring rain at 3.30 in the morning. I couldn’t stop smiling from the second I got in my car to when I fell asleep an hour later. The best part? We spent most of the day doing nothing. We slept until 11am, cuddled together. We got up and had breakfast, watched Rick and Morty, sat together. I baked while he used his computer. We napped together.

We had 28 hours to make up for 22 days of each others company. I know for a fact I am way more soppy and sentimental about all this, he will admit that. Ali is a lot more chilled and laid back than I am, he always has been. Do I get insecure? Yes. Do I miss him like crazy? Of course. We spoke about this, I told him how I was dealing with it better than I thought, he told me that he was so busy all day he didn’t have much time to think about missing home.

It’s something I didn’t expect us to be doing so soon but if yesterday made anything clear to me, it’s that we’re very much in love. Despite the fact we can only really FaceTime once a week, we can text, call and just know the other one is there. I didn’t think this experience would make me love him more, somehow it has. Wow, how soppy is that. We need to get back to our mocking of each other soon!

I guess I’m writing because if you’d told me 5 years ago we’d be making this work while he was away on for chunks of the year I wouldn’t have believed you. I would have screamed and kicked and said we wouldn’t do that, we couldn’t. The thing is we’ve grown together and as Ali said to me, I’m not 16 anymore, I have my job, my friends, my own life and hobbies at 16 he was absolutely everything to me. Don’t get me wrong he’s still my best friend and my world but he needs to do his thing, I need to do mine.

All in all, I miss him while I write this but when I dropped him off at 7.30 this morning I didn’t cry, I smiled cause I just felt pretty lucky. Those 28 hours will do for now, I am looking forward to getting him home for a bit longer than that though!