Letting go and getting on with my life

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Let it goooo, let it goooo! No, I’m not writing a post about Frozen, although I’ve been known to burst into song with more than one of my friends in random locations, have sung it to my hamsters and to horses while brushing them….yep. I’ve had a lot of time to think lately, it does that to you when you’re stuck with nothing to do but analyse your own thoughts. I realised that I’ve been holding on to all these old grudges, anger and just letting it eat me up from inside. I’ve overanalysed everything in my life and wondered if I’m a terrible person, wondered what’s good for me and what’s not.

Take today for example I stayed in my flat for most of the day, I sulked around, ignored my phone and was just miserable and angry and frustrated. I then met up with Joe, we both let ourselves rant for a bit before I was violently sick (a lovely occasional side effect of all my medication) and went home quite poorly.

I was laying there after falling asleep and being sick again (so attractive, I know) and I just thought why am I letting myself get so worked up? Why am I holding on to so much and caring about what everyone else is thinking, saying, doing? I just need to let go and focus on getting better and being more relaxed, more positive like I have been during the year. I miss just laughing and spontaneous trips with friends. I know now isn’t the easiest time, of course I’m going to be pissed off, I have a fractured spine.

So I made a promise to myself, to try and see the positives again, to try not to get so frustrated when I can’t do things. As Ali said to me the other day, I’m carrying on with education, I’ll have more summers to mess around and I have all of final year where hopefully I won’t be stuck in a brace and having to sleep for most of the day. So this is my pledge to try and let go of the frustrations in my life and embrace the good things because life is really too short.

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Taking note from Elsa of course 😉 

Why Professor Stephen Hawking has become one of my heroes

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I’ll start this by saying that I’m absolutely hopeless at science, the only part of it I was good at was Biology, not Physics. With the release of The Theory of Everything, I took to the cinema with my friend Amy, intrigued by the story of Stephen and his Wife. I left with more than just a love for a film, but a new person to admire grately. I’d known that Stephen Hawking was one of the greatest minds on the planet for a long time, who didn’t? That said, as someone who was absolutely terrible at physics at school I never took a deep interest, until the film came out.

I watched this film and fell in love with Stephen’s determination and intelligence. I also marvelled at his then wife, Jane, who in her own right is incredibly intelligent. I watched the two of them and something awoke within me. Although not on the same level, I’ve battled with my own medical issues which time and time again have made people tell me that things I wanted weren’t possible. I read as much as I could about Stephen’s life and ambitions and used it as fuel to add to my own academic ambitions.

I’ve found myself getting angry at my body for not doing what it should and stressing out about the wheelchair, tonight I had a change of heart. I’ve spent all day either asleep or in bed with an hour here or there to eat. I ended up watching the BBC’s Dara ÓBirain meets Stephen Hawking and it made me think again, not just in terms of academics. Stephen’s had a whole life in a wheelchair, his movement and speech taken away from him and he still cracks jokes, smiles and it’s never taken away from his intelligence. I look at this as inspiration and it keeps me going while I have to use my own wheelchair.

Professor Stephen Hawking is perhaps one of the most intelligent men in the world, but there is more than that he also possibly the most persistent. He didn’t simply take his diagnoses and accept it and because of that he’s still here today. So as the above quote says, I’ll adapt to the changes my back brace/ wheelchair bring and I won’t give up.

Image from Pinterest 

Chloe’s Book Haul – June 20th

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If there’s one thing I cannot resist it’s offers on books, wherever I can get my hands on them bookshops, car boot sales, charity shops, online, Kindle books, you name it. While I like libraries and they were certainly important when I was younger, I love having my own books. I had two books to exchange and a £10 voucher for Waterstones, so of course I had a little buying spree today. I got six books in today’s haul, mostly on buy one get one half price and another book from Amazon that I ordered a few days ago.
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All the Light We Cannot See – Anthony Doerr

This novel was recommended to me by a bookseller a while ago, he had just finished reading it and said it was incredible. The novel is set in World War Two (one of my favourite settings) and it’s protagonists are a young Hitler Youth and a Blind Girl on the run with her father, I’m intrigued. I’m interested to see how Doerr presents a blind persons perspective, it’s exciting and is probably part of what sold the book to me!
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The Bone Clocks – David Mitchell 

The Bone Clocks has a stunning cover, which it what initially caught my eye. There wasn’t much information about the novel on the back but after a quick search it sounded worth picking up. If this isn’t interesting enough, I don’t know what is ‘Holly is no typical teenage runaway: a sensitive child once contacted by voices she knew only as “the radio people,” Holly is a lightning rod for psychic phenomena.’ I’m taking a total risk with this novel, I’ve never heard anything about it but I’m really hoping it’s something great.

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The Following Girls – Louise Levene 

I picked this up because it sounded fun but seemed to have a heart. Set in the 1970s with a 16 year old protagonist who seems like a normal teenager and possibly a little lost. According to the front cover the Sunday Telegraph called it ‘acidic social satire’, sounds good to me!

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We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves – Karen Joy Fowler 

I have hear a lot about this novel. It’s been everywhere, recommended by everyone and involves one of my favourite things in literature, complex relationships. I hate the ‘normal family’ because frankly it doesn’t exist so knowing that this novel is about a whole family (although only narrated by one of them) drew me in as well as it’s raving reviews. I hope it lives up to the hype.

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Bonjour Tristesse – Françoise Sagan

Another ‘wildcard’ I had to pick another on buy one get one half price, it was at the till point and all I was told was that it was good and ‘very French’. So let’s see…

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Funny Girl – Nick Hornby 

Another recommended read. Again I’ve heard a lot of good things and haven’t read much of Hornby and I might be going to a reading of his this week so I thought I might as well pick it up. I was also surprised to learn he studied at Kingston University, so hopefully I’ll enjoy it.

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How To Be a Woman – Caitlin Moran

Now I read this when I was a young teenager and hated it, but now I think I didn’t really understand it, not properly at least. Now I’m going to be studying it or partly at least and I’ve watched some of her youtube videos, so let’s try again.

100 questions – get to know me!

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I became aware of this from Lazarus and Lithium. I’ve realised how many new people there are to this blog, welcome! I’m so pleased that each and every one of you have chosen to follow my blog, nearly 250 of you now and over 400 on Twitter 🙂 So I’ve decided to let you all get to know me a little better with 100 questions. Have any more after? Leave it in the comments.

1. How are you, really?
I’m in between a lot of emotions right now, part of me is happy and proud of what I’ve achieved, another feels a little lost and misses my old confidence and part of me is a bit sad and in pain in my back.
2. How do you feel right now? What are you thinking about?
I feel ok, I’m thinking about the pain my back (as usual), hamsters and a new video game that’s going to come out.
3.What’s your favorite color?
Baby Blue
4. What’s your favorite food?
Italian is the best
5. What’s your favorite dessert?
Chocolate brownie with ice cream but it has to be made right
6. How old are you?
20
7. What have you learned today?
My band can always make me smile
8. What was your favorite subject in school?
English
9. What do you do?
I’m a student, Social Media Coordinator, Freelance Writer, Musician and Student/ International Ambassador
10. What are some of your favorite books?
Nineteen Minutes – Jodi Picoult, The Storyteller – Jodi Picoult, The Colour Purple -Alice Walker, The Fault in Our Stars – John Green, The Art of being Normal Lisa Williamson, All of the Harry Potter Series, I could go on…
11. What are some of your favorite movies?
The Fault in Our Stars, The Devil Wears Prada, Love Actually, The Breakfast Club, Desperately Seeking Susan, Harry Potter. I watch more sitcoms than movies to be fair.
12. What kind of music are you into?
SO MUCH! I’m mainly into Rock/Alt Rock/ Pop Punk but I love a good deal of Pop music, 90s Club music, 80s pop. Also love a bit of 1950s Rock n Roll, 1960s too, The Kinks, The Beatles. Also can’t go wrong with some good acoustic tunes to chill out to. Ah love, love, love music, I’ll give anything a listen.
13. If you were going to write a book, what would you call it and what would it be about?

I’m working on a book at the moment, it doesn’t have a name. I don’t want to give too much away but it’s how a couple handles terminal illness along with their teenage daughter.

14. What’s one of the scariest things you’ve ever done?

Go to uni, I was terrified.
15. What accomplishment are you most proud of?

So hard! Umm Right now doing well at uni and the accomplishments within that.

16. Are you married?

Nope, I am happily cohabiting for now 🙂

17. How did you meet your spouse / girlfriend / boyfriend?

We met at school 🙂

18. Do you think it’s better to get married when you’re young or better to wait a while?

It think it really depends on the person.Marriage is more to show the rest of the world, you can have the deepest commitment and have a good time without being married. At the same time if I had the money for a good wedding now I’d get married.

19. Do you have any kids?

Nope

20. Have you ever thought of adopting?

Yes, it’s something I’m interested in.

21. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A Pop Star.
22. How did you get into health care?
I’m not in health care! But I do raise awareness for mental health!
23. Would you recommend healthcare for other people? Why / Why not?
I think if you can stand things like blood and needles (I can’t) and like caring for people then it can be the best job :).
24. What do you do for fun?
I hang out with my friends/band, I read a lot, I write and I blog.
25. Do you like traveling?
Yes! I like seeing other places but I am a home bird!
26. If you could visit any country in the world, where would you go?
Hmmm Australia!
27. Who are some people you’d like to meet someday?
Emma Blackerry and Cherry Wallis, J.K Rowling, Alice Walker, Dave Grohl, all of Paramore… there are so many more.
28. If someone asked you to give them a random piece of advice, what would you say?

Do what you want to do, not just what you’re told to do.

29. What’s one of your favorite habits you have?

Blogging, if that’s a habit?

30. What are some things that make you really happy?

My boyfriend, my hamsters, family and friends, performing and writing oh and academics, because I’m a geek
31. What are some things that make you really sad?
Suffering, low days, pain, when people are treated badly.
32. What are some things that scare you?
How close I’ve been to losing the ability to walk, dead fish (I know, I’m weird), losing the people I love.
33. Do you like to plan things out in detail or be spontaneous?
I’m a planner! I can be spontaneous though!
34. Are you a religious person?
Nope, Atheist.
35. If you could go back in history, who would you like to meet?
Sylvia Plath.
36. Would you rather live in the country or in the city?
When I’m writing, the country, when I’m working, the city.
37. What was your life like growing up?
It was full of people who loved me at home and people who despised me at school.
38. What were you like in high school?
I lost myself for a little while, Ali kept me steady but the age of 15 plus was where I was at my most poorly unfortunately. I always tried and worked hard but I wasn’t the most popular kid.
39. Do you have any brothers or sisters? How many?

1 sister, she’s pretty cool.

40. What’s your favorite part about today so far?
Laughing, smiling, catching up with people I’ve missed.
41. Who in your life has influenced you the most? How did they do it?

Honestly, I think Ali. A year into being with me I got sick and lost a lot of hope, he turned me around showed me why uni would be a good idea and just unlocked this confidence.
42. What’s your favorite joke?
I don’t think I have a favourite…
43. Have you ever tried sushi? (Did you like it?)

No, no, no,no! Raw Fish? Never.

44. Do you like spicy food?

Nope, give me my Nandos plainish please!

45. How do you like your steak cooked?

Well done
46. Do you have a favorite number? Any particular reason why you like that number?

18 – my birthday 🙂
47. If you were a type of animal, what would you be and why?

I’d be a horse, strong, powerful, intelligent.

48. What’s one of the strangest things you’ve ever done?

Been able to shock the nurse by telling him exactly where to take blood from and been right…not that wild.
49. What kind of vacations do you like?

Ones where I can relax or go out and find something interesting to do, where I have the option.

50. What are some of your major goals in life?

To write a book and get my PhD

51. What are some of your smaller goals in life?

Be a good person, try and smile at least once every day.

52. What do you like least about yourself?

That I let other people’s opinions get to me too much

53. What embarrasses you?

When my dyslexia makes me either misspell or completely miss words.
54. If you could try out any job for a day, what would you like to try?

Voice Actress

55. What’s your earliest memory?

My aunt taking me to her college library, I was 2.

56. What’s the best decision you ever made?

Going to university, definitely.

57. Who’s your best / closest friend?

My sister.

58. What do you think people think of you?

Haha who knows? In Kingston most people think I’m a nice person, back in Basingstoke not so much.

59. What were your grades like in school?

Good! I left with a Distinction star, a few As, few Bs and a few Cs.

60. If you could learn one random skill, what would you learn?

Calligraphy.

61. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

I really don’t know. On a low day I’m an introvert but if I’m happy I can be an extrovert

62. Have you ever taken a personality test? (How did the results turn out?)

Yes and it was really accurate!

63. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

The way they act around others

64. Do you think people can control their own destiny?.

Yes, definitely

65. Do you think all people are equally valuable, or do you think some people in certain situations might be more valuable than others?

Yes in certain situations some people are more important. Like if it was saving children or adults from a fire, I’d save the children so they could experience life.

66. Do you think people are basically bad or basically good?

I think people are basically good, it’s what happens to them that can make them bad. Not an excuse but environment has a lot of influence.

67. Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, and practices of individuals or groups?

Very dependent on the environment and culture you’re in.

68. Do you think God exists?

No.

69. Do you think any kind of afterlife exists?

Sometimes, I’d like to think so but I think it’s mostly human wishing.

70. Do you vote? Why / Why not? If you do vote, how do you usually vote?

I do vote because I’d like to try and make a difference and as many people told me before the last election if you don’t vote you can’t complain.

71. Do you think gay people choose to be gay? Do you think straight people choose to be straight?

No, I think it’s in us from birth. It’s just the way we are.
72. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when?

My gut instinct says no.

73. Would you kill an innocent person if you thought it might mean saving a dozen other people?

I’d be interested to know what situation this was in but if everyone else was innocent too, I’d rather just the one die…I really don’t want to kill anyone!

74. What’s the most money you’ve ever given away?

I haven’t given money away, I’ve lent a fair bit though to people I trust.

75. What’s the biggest personal change you’ve ever made?

Letting myself be happy and be a little selfish when I need it

76. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?

Listen to my bullies rather than the people who loved me

77. What do you think would be one of the best steps we could take toward ending poverty around the world?

We can stop throwing away food and give it to people in need!

78. What do you think we could do to best improve the education system?

Later starting, more freedom from a younger age and projects as a way of testing. In the real world after school how many tests do we need to take to achieve? Experience is everything, not ticking boxes!!

79. In general, what do you think about art?

It’s expression and something we need in life.

80. What are some of your favorite websites?

All social media sites so Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram. WordPress, obviously. Amazon, Boohoo, Waterstones.

81. What’s the biggest turnoff in a man/woman?

Bad smell *gags*
82. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?

That I was ok, when I really needed someone around.
83. What’s something most people don’t know about you?

When I was a kid I told everyone I wanted a Tots TV tattoo (its a kids show, google it). My Dad had just gotten one, I blame him for my love of tattoos.

84. What’s something you wish everyone knew about you?

I don’t bite and love to talk!!!

85. What are some of the first things you do in the morning?

Check notifications on my phone, kiss Ali while he’s asleep, check my hamster and make a cup of tea.

86. What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?

…I don’t know about the worst ever, probably the lowest my depression was at.

87. Do you cry easily?

*sigh* Yes.

88. How do you feel about public speaking?

I actually really like doing it

89. Do you like to talk on the phone?

I talk to my family on the phone all the time when I’m walking places
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90. How many emails do you get each week, roughly?

Anything up to 500 a week

91. If someone were to make a movie about your life, who would you hope would play you?

Emma Stone

92. What’s one of your favorite questions to ask new friends or to get a conversation going?

What books/music do you like?

93. Would you ever sky dive or bungee jump?

I like the idea, don’t know if I’m brave enough!
94. Have you ever been in a fist fight?

Yes, a few at school.

95. What’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled?

I’m not really a prankster!

96. What did you do on your 16th birthday?

Had a big 16th birthday fancy dress party!
97. What do you think is one of the most undervalued professions right now?

Mental health workers

98. How would you explain your basic life philosophy?

Try to smile, but don’t be afraid to cry.

99. Would you rather be hated or forgotten?

Hated, I don’t want to be forgotten,

100. If you knew you would die tomorrow, would you feel cheated today?

Yes I would, I’ve got so much more to do yet.

There we go! Have you got any more questions for me? Let me know in the comments

Beating the lows! Tattoo time and making happiness happen.

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I’ve been writing to you all a lot about how I’ve been feeling and I’ve had overwhelming support from you all, thank you! So I decided to do something about it today after getting yet more bad news this afternoon about the Foo Fighters concert (it’s now been cancelled but this afternoon when I called they told me I couldn’t change me ticket and questioned whether I really need my wheelchair for an event like that. Yes, unfortunately I do. Either way I was feeling a little down and overwhelmed about the whole thing, as well as getting my head around a new job. I mentioned yesterday that I’d be getting my new tattoo at some point and that was today! I hobbled off the bus to go into the two good tattoo places I know about in Kingston. The first, although known for it’s service I just didn’t get the right feelings from, it was too dark and I just felt uncomfortable. So I headed home disappointed, sulked a little and ate a lot of chocolate while trying to make some work plans. After that I thought screw it, I’ll go to the the place across the road. I fell in love with it, the atmosphere, the staff and the tattoo artist. They quoted more but it just felt right this time, more so than I did about my first tattoo.

I wanted something simple, yet meaningful. My first tattoo I got when I failed my driving test the first time (well I didn’t know there would be another 4 times to go until I passed). I wanted to remember that it’s ok to fail, because I’m a perfectionist and I don’t take failure well (ask the poor wall at my parents house that I threw my shoe at). This one was different though, I’ve toyed with a lot of ideas, lyrics, symbols thinking of what I wanted to represent getting through, getting better and to motivate me when times are really hard. I found the idea on Pinterest and fell in love with it instantly and I knew that’s what I wanted. I waited though, to make sure.

I had the words ‘One day at a time’ tattooed on my left wrist. If I ever need help, reminding that I’ve come through before or just some comfort it’s there now forever. I’ve sat here staring at it all afternoon, it just fills me with happiness. Before I get it in the comments, yes it did hurt, no I wont regret it. It’s something so simple but means so much to me.

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Now I wouldn’t recommend that every time someone feels really low they get a tattoo, it would be super expensive but this is something I wanted for a long time and it felt right to do it now.

Yes it has been a rough past few days but now I’m more determined than ever to make the next few great. Tomorrow will be one of my last times seeing Eleanor before she goes off to New Zealand (sob) so I’m making sure there is lots of laughter, going back to band practice, before our acoustic show in Guilford and celebrating Laura’s 21st at the weekend :). And if I need any extra help? I just need to look down.

Sometimes positivity isn’t that easy

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Sometimes trying to be endlessly positive is exhausting, right? There are days where no matter how hard you try you just feel like everything sucks and your best friend is your bed, your phone needs to be switched off so you can ignore EVERYONE and any chocolate that you can get your hands on is yours. Ok, that might sound like a PMS day, it probably is partly to do with hormones and stuff but today ended up like that.

I’ve been feeling down, I had another doctors appointment today and I’m not lowering my depression medication, my doctors not comfortable because of how much stress and pain I’m in, it’s not the right time. On top of that my pain levels have been pretty up and down too. Basically as soon as I left work this afternoon everything just splintered a little. I felt upset and angry about my spine, I noticed people staring at me again in town (you think I’d be used to it by now) and anything that is slightly said to me in the wrong way makes me feel useless. At the same time though I have laughed, I have smiled. Maybe this is what it feels like to go mad, I’m kidding.

When I’m around and talking to the people I love I’m happy. Usually I’ll pick myself up, go for a swim or a walk, go do some food shopping in the car or get on to some promoters about shows. My spines really limited me for the past 2 months and I’m not ashamed to admit that sometimes I don’t know how to handle it. So as much as I try sometimes I depression gets it’s own was over my positivity.

BUT this isn’t where I want the people I love to worry, after having my freak out I’ve calmed down, accepted things and I’m ok. I’m planning a few things I can do and have decided if I can’t swim I might as well go and get one of the tattoos I wanted as an early birthday present to myself. Just a small one, to remind me to keep smiling and I’ll be ok, all shall be revealed soonish! Sometimes you just need to let out all of the hurt, upset and frustration.

Tomorrow will be a better day, I’m going to make sure of it.

My self conscious mind

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It’s been 7 weeks since my riding accident now, 7 weeks and I’ve had a lot to get used to being slower, having to rest constantly oh and the staring, yes the staring. I’ve always had a part of me that was self conscious, even when I was younger I never wanted any excuse for the other kids to make fun of me.

Fast forward to the age of 20 and I’m finally happy with the way I look, I’m feeling confident and wanted to go out more, then I fall off a horse and get stuck in a back brace and occasional wheelchair. Not the most flattering thing..apart from the fact it pushes my boobs out, as in totally in your face out. I get stared at either because of the brace or because of my boobs, I’m not quite sure. So combine that with my normal anxiety and I’m constantly worrying what people are looking at me for.

This is what normally happens in my brain:

Oh god they’re staring again. Why do they always stare, don’t they know it’s rude? Urgh is it my brace? Why do I look so weird in this, I hate it. Or is it the wheelchair maybe? Oh, nope that guys looking at my boobs, yes they are attached to my body. Should I be wearing this top? Maybe I can throw a jumper over next time, but then the shape looks weird. Urgh STOP STARING AT ME. 

So yeah, my anxiety doesn’t mix well with people staring at me a lot. I got to the point where I really didn’t want to go out today, basically because people are rude. I’ve had to change my life a lot in the last few weeks because of my spine but I think this is the thing that makes me the maddest. Even on my mums birthday people I knew in my home town either avoid seeing me or see me in town and make awkward eye contact and I just want to scream I’m still the same person! I’m still me!

I didn’t want to write an angry or moapy post but I’m still the same person. The depression and anxiety sometimes makes it harder to just brush off other people’s ignorance.

I’d love to hear from the rest of you, how do you deal with being anxious?

Image from https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/378935756118394408/

5 Confessions of all workaholics and how to beat them!

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Workaholic is a word that sums me up whether I like it or not, be it in my job, my course, my hobbies I work damn hard and sometimes forget that I’m not supposed to be working 24/7, non stop. I notice this more when I get told to stop tidying and just sit down doing something I like rather than cleaning or organising or doing extra reading. So I decided to write another one of those lovely lists but, well, a helpful one (I hope).

1. I over organise.

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No word of a lie my calendar is always jam packed, when it isn’t I feel a little odd. I try and over schedule my entire life. So after having something on every single night of the week ( any paying for it a little bit), I realised that this is one of my workaholic traits.

How I beat it: 

Making sure that if I’m planning everything I leave myself time to relax or do what I want. Of course right now with my spine I don’t have much of a choice, but I have learnt the value of rest. If you know you’re going to be busy make sure you also have some relaxation time planned too, even an hour or two. Trust me it’ll make you happier and healthier!

2.  I put a lot of pressure on myself! 

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I am a perfectionist. In uni, in work and in a lot of other things. Now I don’t have a pushy family, they’re happy when I’m happy. It’s me who puts pressure on myself to be the best of the best, get constant firsts and good results at work. Although it’s good to aim high, sometimes it’s absolutely exhausting!

How I beat it: 

This is possibly one of the hardest things to beat. It’s taking me a long time to accept that I don’t have to be perfect all the time, that getting a 66 instead of a 70 isn’t terrible. That not working every single shift at work doesn’t make me a bad worker. This goes hand in hand with planning me time so that I can accept and be happy with who I am.

3. I drive my friends/family/boyfriend crazy with things that aren’t happening for months.

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‘But these books have to be read in the next 6 months’- really NOT an issue

How I beat it: It’s good to have a plan but now I have a laptop I focus on the month ahead, not 6 months ahead and try and take it a little bit at a time without worrying about things to come. I write a to do list for the week and focus on that instead of whats happening in 3 weeks time.

4. Not sleeping enough 

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Not having enough time to sleep is a bad move! It will effect my mood, my appetite, the way I am around other people. All in all a lack of sleep is one of the worst things for me.

How I beat it: PRIORITISE! Make sure I know what needs to be done and what can wait until the next day. Also asking for help doesn’t show weakness it shows strength. When I really can’t cope and know in advance there is usually the option for an extension at uni and my bosses are there to talk to if I’m struggling and need support.

5. Not eating properly

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This happens to a lot of people I know. Personally I get so into a project or piece of work that I keep going and going until I physically have to stop. One of my first open days for work, I kept putting off my lunch break because I was enjoying the day so much one of the older girls pulled me aside and reminded me I needed to eat, no matter how exciting this all is.

How I beat it: If you’re in an office, make lunch plans with someone else in the office. If you’re at home maybe set an alarm on your phone. I’m the worst at forgetting to eat if I’m absorbed in something but these usually work! Another thing is have regular smaller snacks, sunflower seeds are one of my favourites or a good old chocolate bar. Remember your body is your machine! Treat it well because you’re going to need it to succeed in whatever you want to do!

As always I love to hear from you guys! So fellow workaholics, what are your confessions and have you found a way to stop/get around them? Let me know!

Paid Internships Exist! Starting my job as a Social Media Coordinator

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We all know the problem with finding a job right? To get the job you need experience, to get experience you need a job. Now I know like the rest of the student population it can be ridiculously hard finding any kind of work experience/ internships. Today I was lucky enough to start mine!

Before getting super into social media I thought about going into teaching or magazine journalism. Now most of the time you need to ‘volunteer’ in schools so I did that under a scheme which luckily made sure I got a bursary payment as I was promoting the university. As for magazines, I am get to find a paid internship that are above minimum wage (seriously try travelling into central London and living on minimum wage while looking good enough to work at a magazine, nope, not happening). So I’ve always been a little cynical about becoming an intern, it’s something that more well off people seemed to be able to do, not people like me. Not any more!
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Ready to start this morning, trying out my new lipstick too! 

I applied for the position because firstly, it was paid, secondly, it’s something I’m interested in and thirdly I thought I might as well. I felt like I had a good build up and some experience that would get me an interview, but did I think I’d get it? No. I really didn’t. Although the interview went well I hadn’t had a proper sit down interview for a few years (they’ve all been group interviews for my last few jobs) and there were some questions to make me think. I left and tried to put it out of my mind, knowing that I would know by the end of the day. Then I got an email saying it would be at least another day, maybe more. At this point my spine was still making me sleep almost all the time so I didn’t think too much but the longer it got, the more I thought I hadn’t gotten it. So imagine my surprise when I got the email offering me the job and it would pay a little under what I’m earning as a Student Ambassador.

It was decided I’d start after going to Athens, fine by me seemed like aaaaaagggggeeeeesss away. Nope. Today rolled around and I had everything ready, woke up early, played with the hamsters but I was SO nervous. I couldn’t remember what medication I’d taken and didn’t want to take it again so I was flapping about that. I ended up going with just paracetamol for my back (in hindsight a BAD, BAD idea.) I was worrying, what would people think of my brace? Could I really do this job when I only have 400 followers? I was so nervous/ daydreaming once I got on the bus I nearly missed my stop altogether.

I shouldn’t have worried, I was very well looked after. I was introduced to everyone in the office, a lot of people happened to recognise me from the KU Talent Awards. I’m slowly learning peoples names but I think it will take me a while. I’ve been set up with a staff account, I’ll be getting a staff ID card and can use the canteen…god I’m such a dork. Everything was gone through slowly and my new boss is fab, she’s open to ideas as long as I have reasoning! I’ll also be able to meet some of the fab guest speakers we have coming up (beyond excited).

So I’ve really landed myself a great opportunity, doing something I love. I will still be a Student Ambassador and International Ambassador too! This is just something that is more specific to a career path if I decide that I want a break from academics. I can’t wait to tell you all about it!

I wrote a post a while ago about being brave. This is it. If there aren’t any opportunities for what you want to do then go make some. Start a blog about your interests, do research just because and don’t give up. I never, ever thought I could be an intern and be paid a decent amount, whilst being treated like one of the team. People think that I just get given these opportunities sometimes but, I really don’t I work very hard and stay connected with people, it works!

I hope you all enjoyed reading today ( I know it’s been a long one!) and if you have any questions let me know below!

A little laugh with Katerina Vrana

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Hello everyone, I’ve been a little quiet today and yesterday just because of being absolutely exhausted and hurting today after my physio. I just wanted to leave something to make you all laugh, because it’s been making me laugh today. I’ve been surprisingly productive today but for tonight I just want to relax, switch off and prepare for starting my new job tomorrow! So I hope you enjoy Katerina’s Tedx talk!