My Big Mouth: The Beautiful Game’s Fight with the Ugly Face of Sexism

Tonight I’ve broken away from my blogging to write about something I didn’t even realise I was passionate about until a few months ago. Womens Football. I was scrolling through facebook tonight and a post came up about the Chelsea Ladies team going to the finals at Wembley. I’m a Chelsea supporter so obviously I was proud and left my own comment with happiness. That happiness quickly disappeared when I started scrolling through the comments. These were some of the delightful gems I came across… Screen Shot 2015-07-29 at 20.35.48 Screen Shot 2015-07-29 at 20.35.05

I knew there would be some ‘chelsea is shit’ posts, there always are (haters gonna hate). I didn’t think there would be such sexist comments, it made me feel a little sick. The men in the comments section range from ‘get your tits out’ mentality to why is this here, women’s football will never be as big. I don’t know if they noticed but 50 percent of the world are female. Shock horror. The fact that there was so much open sexism made me feel a little sick and I think it was the last straw for me.

I remember wanting to go and watch the women’s world cup in the pub, it wasn’t on. While it wasn’t on expensive channels, no pubs had advertised it nor had they put it on. I don’t have a TV so the pub is where I go to watch sport, a few years ago every pub was rammed for the mens world cup, but women didn’t even get a mention. There are tops in supermarkets and the whole country gets involved for the mens world cup, but not the women. Oh no, no our greatest female footballers came home to this tweet (which was quickly taken down):

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It was as if what they achieved was a cute little hobby and not, you know representing the country. I, like many others, was quick to point out that they had done better than our men’s team and at least deserved the same, if not more respect. Not because they’re women, but because they made the country proud.

When I was a little girl, I watched the football with my Dad, I named my hamster after Frank Lampard (he was called Lampie for short) and always had the latest football shirt. I remember asking my Dad after looking through Chelsea Magazine why we didn’t watch the women’s football on TV, just the mens. My Dad said he didn’t know, it just wasn’t as big as men’s football as far as he knew. I didn’t understand but I asked a few more questions, before letting it go. Now I’m 20 years old and I am still asking the same question I was at least a decade ago.

I liked playing football at school when I could do PE, tag rugby was fun (apart from when they made us stand outside and freeze) and I was one of only two girls in my class to get on to the highest level of trampets. I was never in the sporty crowd but sometimes I enjoyed it. I’m not going to lie and say I religiously watch any kind of football, I don’t really. What I am saying is that I 100% believe that if women’s football got as much exposure as men’s it would we’d inspire a new generation of girls that it’s not just the boys who can take the lead in sport.

We will beat the misogynists in football because there are strong women who are there to be role models for our little girls and women like me who don’t eat, sleep,breath sport but can appreciate it. I hope that in the next 10 years when I have children of my own, maybe even girls of my own, I can simply turn on the TV and there will be a women’s match on TV. That if I end up with a daughter who takes after My Dad, Gramps, Grandad, my cousins and have that passion for football and want to play, then hell they can go and do it with no prejudice.

Piss off sexism, there’s no room for you here.

Let me know what you think girls and guys? Do you think we’ll get equality in sport?

10 Things not to say to a writer

This has been trending on Twitter today and I can’t help but laugh and agree with most of the tweets that are going out. I love writing, I honestly do but sometimes people think being a writer is a free pass to treat you like an idiot and ask stupid questions. So I may have gotten just a tiny bit sarcastic with these. So here are my 10 things not to say to a writer…

1. Being able to write all day must be SO relaxing 

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Ummmm yeah staying up all night trying to meet deadlines is like bathing in Lavender…

2. What is going to be/ is your real job though? 

*sigh*

3. Oh, writing, but what are you going to do with that?

I’m going to do whatever the hell I like.

4. Have you read 50 Shades of Grey? Don’t you think Mr Grey is a great character? 

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If you mean the real Mr Gray, as in DORIAN FREAKING GRAY, yes I think he’s genius. If you mean that drivel that sexually frustrated housewives mean, please leave.

5. Anyone could write! 

Hahahaha. Okay, off you go then come back to me in a week and tell me how you’re getting on.

6. You better not be writing about me. 

Well, I wasn’t but now you never know…

7. Oh, that’s depressing 

When  used to tell people about the novel I was writing I got this a lot. People just run with the basic idea, not with what you’re trying to do with it. Infuriated me to no end.

8. I don’t read.

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Shut up. Just shut up.

9. When are you going to do something with your writing?

I don’t know what it is with people but they think that you magically produce a book in a matter of weeks. Writing is hard work. When you’re struggling with writers block this is the last thing you want to hear.

10. But what do you really know about that? 

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Here’s the magic of writing, you can imagine whole different lives without actually living them. There’s a difference between research (which does happen) and living the lives of every single one of your characters. My favourite authors have come up with different worlds they can’t have possibly lived but they’ve made it real to the reader. Now that’s magic.

What are your 10 things not to say to a writer?

How blogging has changed my life

I wanted to start this blog saying thank you to Jenny in Neverland and her blog which inspired me to write this.

My Career ideas 

I’d never really thought about blogging in this way but as soon as I sat down I realised that it’s one of the biggest parts of my life and it really has changed me and my opportunities. Before I started the blog I had absolutely no idea of what I could do as a job. I definitely still want to do the whole lecture thing and that’s the main aim but it’s five years away and even if I get the grants and financial help I know that I can’t just do nothing in the time that I’m studying. My blog started my spark for social media and marketing so professionally, it really kick started an idea for a possible career if I decide not to do my PhD.

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My Confidence 

It’s no secret that through school I had a massive confidence drop, I didn’t feel confident with myself, I wasn’t sure who I was or what I wanted to do. So when I started to get likes, people reading what I’d written and being told that they enjoy it. I might not be getting 10,000 views but the views I do get make me feel good about myself and that I’m doing something worth doing. If I’m having a bad day, one of your comments can make all the difference.

Connecting with people 

Like I just said, talking to people online can really change my day. I’ve ‘met’ some great people through blogging, people who understand some of the things I struggle with. I’ve spoken to some amazing authors too, I’ve received notes, preview books and other things from truly nice people.

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I got to talk to Katie Piper  on Twitter, one of my absolute idols

Trying to make a difference and sharing my experience

I write about mental health because I want people to understand and be educated. I know that education is power and the only way that we can possibly end the stigma that people who have a mental health condition face. If I can help one person or educate another then I’ve achieved something that I’m proud of.

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Something to get out of bed for and a positive way to let everything out 

Depression doesn’t choose the days you have nothing to do to hit you with it’s worst, it’s fun like that. Some days the whole struggling to get out of bed thing rears it’s ugly head and I just don’t see the point. I do struggle like loads of other people in the world but the blog gives me a way to express myself in a positive way. It lets me talk to other people and I get encouragement too. I can use it to look at how far I’ve come too, one of my favourite things to do on New Years Eve.

I have a way of looking back at my uni days, I won’t forget

And if that’s not a good enough reason I don’t know what is. 1907515_10206793085448473_2364060322551983456_n

I’d love to hear your responses so make sure to tag me if you want to write about how blogging has changed YOUR life. Also give Jenny a follow too, because her blog is awesome!

The Little Mermaid Returns

I’m sorry for the lack of blogging yesterday, I was reading the amazing Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls which I can’t wait to review because it was absolutely incredible. I’ll leave you with that because that’s for another blog completely. I wish I was writing to tell you about a new Ariel film, because that would be one of the best pieces of news this year. The mermaid I’m talking about is me. I don’t have flippers but as a kid I might as well have done. My poor Dad spent hours and hours trying to teach me how to swim on top of the water but I just never liked it. Instead I would race around the bottom of the pool getting as deep as I possibly could. So when I started only swimming under water as well as the singing thing and being obsessed with Ariel my nickname came about. But what does that have to do with today?

Today, something awesome happened. After three months I finally got to go back to the pool. I wasn’t going to initially because it was rainy and a perfect book day but then I remembered how upset I got yesterday about my weight gain and decided I’d try and go for a swim. I was beyond nervous and had these terrified thoughts that I’d end up trapped in the pool because I wouldn’t be able to pull myself out at the end (as you can tell I’m writing this and don’t seem traumatised, I was able to get out). As you can imagine my swimming costume was a little bit more snug than I’d hope but it’s to be expected.

I got in the water and …

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Ok, so maybe it was that glamourous but the point is I finally got to swim again! I could only manage 25 minutes instead of my normal hour but I did it and even though I left fairly sore and absolutely exhausted (oh and accidently grabbed someone in the pool…) I just had this huge smile on my face as I left. I felt like my body was working with me for once instead of against me. I may have come home and had to lie down and fall asleep for a few hours but it’s a start. My back isn’t feeling it’s greatest right now but I’m pleased that I got those 25 minutes and even a go in the wave pool (very therapeutic).

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Absolutely exhausted after, but smiling! 

I’m really hoping this is the start of a good week and trying to combat my lows. With a day to myself tomorrow, work Tuesday, another unplanned day Wednesday, band practice Thursday and my sister coming to stay from Friday I’m going to be pretty busy. BUT! Don’t fear about the blog I have a lot of ideas and plans to keep you all entertained. I also want to thank all the great bloggers I’ve been talking to lately, you’re all amazing!

Until tomorrow guys!

Writers Block

I have a confession to make. I have writers block. That damn sneaky little thing that drains all of your ideas and then laughs at you. You know the one, you’re all hyped up, let’s do this and then you get to a blank page and…

Yup, that’s as far as I get.

I can’t get ideas for songs out of my brain, I fell like just curling up in bed when I think about trying to physically write my blog ideas and as for my novel? Don’t even go there. I wanted to keep you all updated because this is a part of being a writer. Well, I think so and most other people I know think so too. In fact I got taught that even in essay writing procrastination is a part of the writing process. You read it right, scrolling through Youtube or Reddit for hours can now be called part of your ‘creative process’.

So if I’m so blocked how am I writing this? Well that you see if part of my plan. Write my thoughts, write some plans and I’m hoping by Monday the best shall be gone and I can come out of all this with an album’s worth of songs, 20 blog posts and two novels (I might be slightly optimistic there, slightly).

Anyway I hope you’ve enjoyed my little post tonight as always leave a comment! I love talking to you guys! 😀

Book Review: The Lost and The Found – Cat Clarke

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Thirteen years ago your sister was kidnapped now she’s been let go and is coming home. You’re nervous, terrified and excited…who is she now?

Faith Logan has lived for the past thirteen years in the shadow of her older sister, Laurel, since she was kidnapped. Faith, only a toddler at the time, was the only witness in her sister’s disappearance. One morning her mother gets a phone call, Laurel has been found alive and well, and she’s coming home. While Faith and Laurel try to deal with the past and cautiously step into the future, it isn’t the end.

I picked up this novel from the YA section of Waterstones a few weeks ago, drawn by the bright yellow of the cover. As soon as I read the blurb I was hooked. I’ve had this fascination with people who come out of being kidnapped, Jaycee Lee Dugard briefly messaged me over Twitter, before she took her profile down. I’ve followed the cases of hope, when people are released. They go through horrible things most of the time, but can still come out and carry on.

I found Faith to be a really interesting and realistic character. While she is obviously happy that her sister has been found alive and well, she’s also nervous. Will her sister remember her? Who is she now? What does she look like? There’s also the matter of her family, ravaged by the press, her parents are now separated and her father lives with his partner after coming out as gay.

The novel is incredible, I’m sure I’ve read one of Clarke’s novels before although I don’t know the title. While so many of us expect it to instantly be happy and ecstatic, few will think about the adjustment not just for the kidnapped victim but also those around her. I think it’s important to point out that the sheer scale of the search for Laurel, seems to be similar to the Madeleine McCann search. Laurel is the posterchild for missing children, but the one that is found.

There are constant twists and turns within the book and the ending is clever, shocking and something that’s not forgettable. It keeps you interested throughout and I couldn’t stop reading for the life of me.

I want to give this novel four stars ****, it is a great book but there were some points where I could question the plot. There were also some characters I didn’t see the point in, such as Faith’s friend Martha who just seemed to be there and not always the great friend. It’s definitely a great novel and it really goes to new depths, especially for young adult although at times it is chilling.

Living without DSA – An Anxious Summer

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I walked into the room, anxious, angry and scared. I’d see counsellors for the past few years, one or two had tried and the third had made while claims about why I was so low without knowing me. This was my first session of Mental Health Mentoring, a month after finally getting my diagnoses after 5 years of trying. I was terrified and I think I almost bolted. Then I met someone who I owe so much to, a rock like no other in my university life, my mentor Steffie. Steffie has helped me through every single week at uni, every panic, freak out, bad low, she’s very special to me.

Now it’s summer time and my DSA funding doesn’t cover help over the summer, because it’s only for term time. It puts me on edge, especially for the first few weeks because I’m used to the help and support. Steffie has taught me so much in terms of looking after myself, we work through problems and make plans to make me better. Last summer I coped…just about. It was tough but I was at home, I could start to put some of the techniques into practice and had my family to support me.

This summer, I’m not as lucky. While I love my flat and Kingston in summer, I can’t put into practice my coping mechanisms. I mentioned before how frustrated I am that I can’t have a fitness goal like I wanted this summer. I miss swimming most of all, riding a fair bit and I’m pining for my long walks when my head isn’t in the right place. I’m desparate to sign up for the gym (I know, I know weird) and be able to plan out my day and keep it busy, another important strategy.

What politicians don’t seem to realise that mental health problems don’t just go away. They don’t write you a note and say they’re popping off to travel around Europe for a bit. Recovery takes time, it’s long and hard and sometimes you get to the point of wanting to just give up. Mentoring changed my life. Never before had I been given the tools to deal with my lows, to understand them and accept that sometimes I do need a day to rest because I’m exhausted from my mind going ten to the dozen. I’ve have depression and anxiety for nearly 6 years constantly, although I showed signs from the age of 11, when I was bullied by a boy at school.

The thing is I want to be better. I won’t say that I want to be ‘normal’ because I’ve learnt a lot living with depression. I can understand things differently. I’ve hurt to the point where I don’t understand but I’ve come out on the other side. I’ve been proud of myself for getting up and going out, sometimes I’m just proud of myself when I pick up the phone. Those times are great but they aren’t all the time. I try and look after myself but the spine fractures have really limited me at a time where I could really use someone to talk to every week and find new ways, it’s been taken away.

So I’m having an up and down time, it’s definitely harder without my sessions although Ali and my family and friends have been incredible, it’s hard to explain. I know I can’t go to a doctor tomorrow and say I need some sessions and it will just happen, there would be a month or two of waiting lists before I could see anyone and by then I’d be going back to uni anyway. The thought of even more waiting lists and cuts makes me feel on the verge of physically sick, the people in power don’t understand what it’s like for us and I don’t think they want to listen either. I really wish they would.

I don’t want my followers to worry about me. I’m okay just struggling a little, which is normal with this. I have ups and downs, I always do. I’m luckier than some who don’t have any support and I’ll always remember that. So here’s to the rest of the summer, fingers crossed I can try and work out some new ways to deal with it.

As always I’d love to hear from you all, what do you think about DSA? Do you get it? Let me know!

Chloe

Image from: https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/479492691551611655/

Versatile Blogger Award

I’m starting this blog by saying a HUGE thank you to Alexandra from Alexandra’s Paradise for nominating me for this blogger award, it feel amazing to know that people are reading and enjoying my blog! So here I go, I’m going to follow the challenge, I hope you all enjoy!

The Rules:  

  1. Thank the person who nominated you
  2. Include a link to their blog
  3. Tell the person who nominated you 7 facts about you
  4. Select 15 blogs / bloggers that you have recently discovered or follow regularly

Facts:

1.  Aqua Blue is my go to colour.

2. I’ve been known to read a book a day…that’s where all my money goes. Like Alexandra, I’m trying to read 100 books this year.

3.  I started taking an interest in make up at the age of 19…yup.

4. I believe in letting pets choose you, that’s how we got our family dog, Lottie and              how I chose my two hamsters Hamski and Noodle. Originally I picked another                hamster (thinking there were only two in there but once I saw all of them I put                my hand in and Hamski came up to me first, followed by a slightly more                          cautious Noodle. A similar thing happened with the litter of puppies Lottie was                in, she jumped up and started licking me…the rest is history.

5.  Aquarium walkways creep me out to no end, I do NOT want sharks going above my head, thanks very much.

6.  Cups of tea are one of life’s small, and most vital, pleasures.

7. I’m a musician and will be going in to record in the next few weeks, exciting!

Here are my nominees:

  1. Kirsty 
  2. Shelly Coco 
  3. Victoria Giggles
  4. Cherry Wallis (find her AMAZING Vlog here) 
  5. Jenny in Neverland
  6. Indisposed and Undiagnosed 
  7. Jenny in Neverland 
  8. Lazarus and Lithium 
  9. Kirsty – Natterly Blog 
  10. Hannah Gale 
  11. Music and Eyeliner
  12. Imogen’s Typewriter
  13. Emma Blackerry 
  14. Lukeisnotsexy
  15. Thoroughlymodernmaisie

So there we go a mix of bloggers and vloggers! A lot of people on there I really admire. Remember to tag me in your replies! – Chloe 

Harry Potter Haul – Primark have done it again

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Primark, I have a bone to pick with you. Why, why must you have everything to do with Harry Potter and make it affordable. 

Now you all know I’d rather spend £100 on books than clothes, well most of the time anyway. You can wear a jacket for 100 days, but a book can be loved for more than 100 years…that got a little deeper than I intended. Anyway, back to the point. I’m no fashionista. I could never do a ‘today’s outfit’ Instagram post, because there would be a lot of pictures of the same 4 pairs of jeans, just with a different t-shirt or vest top. Don’t get me wrong in my head I can strut down the street pretending that I’m Kim Kardashian, but I’m obviously not.

This weekend I planned to buy maybe one or two things in Primark. Hah. Nice try, there is a reason I completely avoid going into the shop because I know that I’ll see something, it’ll be cheap and I’ll end up taking it home with my poor card weeping in the corner. My constant obsession is nearly anything with Harry Potter on, especially the PJs. I think I have about five pairs now… I ended up buying the following:

– Marauders Map print lounge bottoms £7.00

– Grey Hogwarts Logo top £7.00

– Long sleeved Hogwarts Logo PJ Top £7.00 

– Grey ‘H. Potter’ lounge bottoms £7.00

– Gryffindor Quidditch team knickers  £2.50

– Hogwarts phone case £3 

Oh and last week my Mum bought me the AMAZING Harry Potter raincoat in the Primark sale….I have no regrets.

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I’d love to hear about any other potterheads out there. I’m a huge fan I have boxes and boxes of collectables, clothes, cups, 3 sets of the books (hardback, paperback and new covers, duh), stuff from the studio tour, stuff from the theme park in America and even my car is called Harry…it might have become a little bit of an obsession. So let me know about you guys!

My baby sister

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14 years ago I woke up to the news I had a baby sister. I danced around my Nanna’s kitchen, so excited. She’s puked on my face, I’ve change her nappies and helped her walk. I learnt how to do her harness and then cheered her on when she started to walk. I walked her first day of primary school and home from her last. She was too cool for me to take her on her first day of secondary school. Now she’s getting all grown up with better fashion sense and make up tips than me. I’m so lucky to have such a beautiful sister and best friend in my life, happy birthday Summer-Rose. ❤