Month: May 2018

MHAW18: Does Therapy Work?

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Let’s talk about Therapy. Does it really work?

Now, I’m not talking about laying down, a leather sofa to a stony-faced psychiatrist, sorry to burst your bubble but I starting talking therapies on and off almost 10 years ago and it’s never happened. Not once. That is a Hollywood myth, or something you don’t get on the NHS, either way not something I can tell you about.

I know that it’s not for everyone but for me, I’m pretty sure it’s got me to where I am today as a person. Working through my thoughts, problem and general mental health with someone who’s qualified and has to tools I didn’t was crucial. It was just a chat every week. I’d speak about what I felt I needed to and when appropriate try to break things down. It cleared up so much in my own head.

I don’t understand the stigma around talking to someone to try and sort your shit out. Surely that would make us better as people? To talk about things that are going on in our brains.  That said, I completely understand that it’s not for everyone. For some people, they need to work through things in another way and talking isn’t for them, which is fine.

That said, we need to acknowledge that for people who it does help it is vital and that’s where things have fallen down. A year and a half ago I was put on a waitlist because things were going pretty badly in my personal life, I’d had a lot of change and wasn’t doing so well. I’m still on that waiting list even though I feel like I don’t need it anymore. That is not only mind-boggling but also disgusting. I had a support system and wasn’t in crisis but sometimes I get frustrated, what if that wasn’t the case? But, that’s another blog post.

What do you think about therapy? Is it something that’s helped you or not your cup of tea? Let me know in the comments below!

Welcome to Mental Health Awareness Week 2018!

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So, a few days ago I realised that it’s Mental Health Awareness Week and had to get a plan together, quick. You see, mental well being is so important to me because I haven’t always been in the place that I am now (here’s a whole post about my story from last year).

Ok, but why?

I think we need to talk because being mentally ill can be really lonely and make you feel like you’re the only person in the world who has these feelings. I promise you that you’re not. This is your brain goblin, stay with me here, that likes to take over your brain and make everything look and feel terrible. It is lying to you, it loves to lie to you.

So, what’s going to be happening over here 

I’m going to write a post about mental health every single day of the week. Yep, that’s a thing now. I want to talk about things to make others more comfortable and open. I’m going to be talking about whether I think therapy works, how to support someone with a mental illness and how we talk about it and ourselves. It’s going to be a full ride of information, emotions and more. Honestly, I could write about it forever but this is just a tiny portion of the internet.

I just want to get people talking and if they’re comfortable, sharing. It’s such a personal thing that gets turned into a political agenda. I’ve been at the point where I thought there was no coming back, I’ve been on a huge high where I thought I was cured forever and it was never coming back (lol, no). This is just what I think, what I’ve felt and hopefully, this week can help someone else as well.

So get into the comments, start talking and I can’t wait to see what the rest of the week brings!

Self-Care Update

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Recently I wrote about my own self-care slip and you guys were amazing! I know that I’m a workaholic, I love to get things done and achieve as much as a possibly can…so relaxing takes a back seat. BUT, I have a great update for you all, there’s definitely been a change.

In the past week, I’ve started tracking what I’m eating to make sure I’m not over or under eating in line with my emotions. I’ve been filling up with a lot more protein when I can and trying not to binge on chocolate…that’s something I’m working on. I also haven’t weighed myself because I don’t want to get in a negative cycle. I will do it eventually but right now it’s not a priority.

I’ve also started doing Yoga every night! I know, hold fire. I was sceptical at first it’s just stretching, right? Wrong. So, so wrong. I can feel my muscles working and I’ve seen a difference in my stress levels. I look forward to that 20 or so minutes every night where I switch off and try to only focus on Yoga. I still get distracted and fall down at times but it’s a healthy start!

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And, finally, I went and got my hair done after much thought I just want and booked. This time I went to LK Hair in Newbury after wanting to since I started my job as I work with one of the owners. It was amazing. Not only are excellent at their jobs but they’re also the best in the UK, I have no chill.

In short, I hope this lasts. I hope I can be a little kinder to myself and make sure no matter how busy I get I make some time. There’s no doubt I’ll have slip ups but I’m trying and it’s definitely a start.

What do you do for self-care? Let me know in the comments below!

 

Book Review: Red Clocks – Leni Zumas

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In the not too distant future abortion is illegal. IVF has been banned and the clock is ticking for any women who wants to have a child past a certain age or a child on her own. This is America. In one city, four women deal with their own lives in relation to these changes. This is their story. A pregnant teenager, a healer trying to help, a frustrated mother and a woman wanting to be a mother more than anything.

I knew I wanted to read this as soon as it was released so as soon as I could I requested it and was graciously given a copy to review and devoured it. The scariest thing about this novel, it could be a reality in the US from recent news, which is exactly why you need to read it.

One of the best parts of this novel is that women come through for women but not in a cheesy way. Becuase of the situation they are in there is a vibe where women pass on vital knowledge to other women to help each other but not in a cheesy way. Also, this novel isn’t about hating men. Are there some terrible guys in this? Yes, but most importantly they are not the focus, not a plot point they just exist. This is a novel for an about women.

The one criticism that I have is that I felt the character of Susan, a frustrated mother didn’t add that much to the story. I understood why she was included but I just felt a little irritated with her and her perspective on things. You don’t need to like every character in a book and out of the four main women she was the one I felt the least connected with in any way.

I gave this 4 stars. I was thinking about this constantly for about a week after reading it. I had so many thoughts, questions and a little bit of anxiety. That said, it is a really important novel and a stunning debut. I can’t wait to see what Zumas comes up with next.

Thank you to the author, publisher and Netgalley for my review copy

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April Favourites!

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My April favourites are late! I know, I know, I know! Things have been a little mad and on the go but it’s finally time for me to share what I was loving in April!

 

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All the Chocolate 

I’m not religious but I love Easter. My family goes a little mad during any holiday and I finally won the egg hunt…I never win. Sadly it is now all gone and it went pretty fast. The Lindor one was absolutely amazing.

Books 

It was such a good month in terms of reading, I managed 8 books. My highlights were starting Saga (incredible), following up with Amanda Lovelace’s second poetry collection. I also got political with Red Clocks and Everywoman. You can read all about what I read this month here.

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London Book Fair!

I went to the London Book Fair for the first time! Interested? I wrote a whole post about it.

Sunshine

Umm that huge yellow thing in the sky appeared. I’m so excited that the sun is shining so I made the most of it with a trip to London to see my friend Joe. I also had a cocktail date with Abbie and there might have been a few Ice Creams…

 

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Movies

You need to go and watch Infinity War, right now. I’m still broken. Here are my non-spoiler thoughts.

General 

There were some lovely bits and pieces this month too! I picked up a few Harry Potter bits in London and I also had the BEST Unicorn cupcake from Selfridges. I actually ended up in London 3 times in April, another occasion was taking my sister and cousin to see The Vamps with my Mum where I also picked up an adorable Harley Quinn. Oh and that little Micheal Kors bag from my grandparents!

Blog Posts 

Talking about Death

Dealing with Anxiety Attacks

Carrying On

I’m in a Funk 

 

What have your favourites been? Let me know in the comments below!

Clothes sizes are BS

Clothes Sizes are BS.

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Ok, girls and guys, we need to talk about clothes sizes.

I can’t even count the number of times that I’ve stood in a shop changing room hating my body. Firstly, hello to everyone who designs them can we change the lighting situation no one looks good in them. Secondly, I have body hang-ups, I have done since I was a young teenager even though I look at my 16-year-old self now and want to shout at her you fool, you look amazing! Wear whatever you like! There is just one more thing, in every shop the clothes sizes differ.

I like to try a variety of shops on the high street I have H&M, Next, New Look, Primark (so much Primark) and even a little Topshop in my wardrobe. Labels don’t mean that much to me when it comes to clothes because it’s so hard to find something that’s flattering. I digress. In my wardrobe, I have clothes that range from a size 8 – a size 14. That’s 4 different dress sizes that all fit me. Confused? Me too.

Now the whole idea of these dress sizes is to have a universal marker, but this is so rare. Sometimes it even stretches to the same shop. Once I tried a size 10 dress on in H&M, it fit. I then went on to try a pair of trousers on and I couldn’t even get a size 16 done up. Because that is logical.

So why am I rambling on about my clothes and changing rooms? The summer season is fast approaching, as is the bullshit of ‘beach body ready’. I have a body, if I put it on a beach it’s ready. There’s also a lot of stress in buying new clothes for the summer and the little number stitched into them.

I’m not claiming I don’t do this. I get panicky when I go up a dress size, even when I know that it’s ridiculous. The thing is I definitely think it’s something that is constantly forced down our throats that there should be a ‘perfect size’. That a number correlates to your worth and then after that they don’t match up anyway. What is this madness?!

This might be a little out there but it’s something that I wanted to get off my chest and see what you guys think. As always, let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

What I Read in April!

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Another month, another stack of books I’ve devoured. This month I wanted things I could get through because I was struggling to concentrate but I still managed 8 books and almost all of them were incredible.

First up was Red Clocks which I have been waiting to read forever and it was so worth it. This is set in a future USA, abortion is banned, IVF is banned and so is single parenthood. We follow four women as their lives are impacted by these laws. It was a 4.5 star read and review to come soon. #MeToo is a collection of poetry that just felt so real to me, these were incredible poems and got 4 stars from me. And another collection of poetry the second from Amanda Lovelace, the witch doesn’t burn in this one. This is the second in a serious about the magic of women, a 4 star read, I didn’t enjoy it as much as the first but it’s still a brilliant read.

 

Next up I am, I am, I am by Maggie O’Farrell this was a strange but brilliant non-fiction book look at the 17 brushes with death, it’s absolutely fascinating and got a well earned 4 stars. The next one I’d seen spoken about on Youtube and it had such a huge impact on me, Everywoman is about feminism, UK politics and is a rallying cry which means it got 5 stars from me. I also read my advance copy of Holly Bourne’s new adult novel How Do You Like Me Now which, in total honesty disappointed me and only got 3 stars.

 

 

And finally, Saga. I could have picked this up years ago and I’m kicking myself. This series is amazing we have some brilliant characters and interesting plot and beautiful art. So far, so amazing and 5 stars for volume 1 and volume 2.

What were you reading in April? Let me know in the comments below!

Re-embracing my Feminism with Paola Diana – Blog Tour

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Reclaiming my Feminism

There are times when a book falls into your lap at the right time. I’d been struggling with my own feminism. It felt like a constant fight whenever I mentioned it, multiple times people used it as a reason to argue with me about something completely unrelated, so I’d kept my mouth shut. Then I got an email offering me the chance to read Paola Diana’s book Saving The World, Women: The Twenty-First Century’s Factor for Change as part of a blog tour and I thought why not?

Earlier in the month, I’d picked up Jess Phillip’s Every Woman which made me proud of feminism again. Paola’s book was a perfect follow up to keep the fire burning. Looking at politics, religion, economy and society Paola doesn’t shy away from addressing the how powerful women really are and will be in this century.

This is not an opinion based book, followed up by facts and her very own activism it got me excited. If there is a time for equality it is now. In no other period in history have women been so educated, aware and able to voice their opinions. Although, of course, we still have a long way to go around the world. Now we just have to make it happen. The combination of intelligent research, looking at the wider picture and optimism is a welcome addition to my bookcase.

Feminism itself is complex. The basic premise of wanting equality of the sexes can be forgotten at times. I know I’ve felt overwhelmed trying to defend my reasons for being so open as a feminist. I’ve felt that there is so much fighting over what feminism is and should be. So I took a step back, I still carried on with my life but I was quiet about it which I hated. This isn’t me. I guess sometimes life does beat you down but, personally, I’m back and ready to reclaim my feminism and continue to educate others with this book by my side.

Sound good? I’m also running a giveaway on my Twitter so head over here, follow and retweet for your chance to win! UK only.

Thank you so much to Midas PR for sending me this book, Paola and the publishers for this opportunity!

Self-Care Slip!

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Ok guys, I have to make a confession. I haven’t been looking after myself. I’m not talking about a slip for a few days or a week, I’m talking about months. There’s a reason I’m telling you this because no matter how much I want everyone to take care of themselves and the fact I’ve been making sure my friends are but not doing it for myself.

It’s been a thing for a while and I’ve tried to have an ‘I’m fine, everything’s fine I don’t care’ kind of attitude, but that’s not entirely truthful. I slipped into a cloud of Anxiety, Depression and a bit of neglect. I stopped going to the gym, I worked every single hour I could on some kind of project I was involved in and my eating habits weren’t great either. The problem is I’m too stubborn to have let anyone help until I wanted them to.

So, what am I going to do about it?

I need to get back on track and I need to have a plan to do, so here it goes.

I’m going back to the gym 

I put it off, partly because I was waiting to see a specialist but also because I didn’t have the motivation. I didn’t want to go and work out because I didn’t see the point in working on my own body. But! I’ve got plans with my sister and my best friend to slowly get back into it.

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Where possible I’m not taking work home with me 

I’m the worst for this. I don’t stop thinking about work, ideas, concerns etc and I know it’s not good for me. It’s not possible every day to leave work at work but I have to think about myself and realise that I’m a person outside my job. That I need to spend time relaxing or doing things I enjoy because stressing 24/7 about small things won’t make me any better at what I do.

I need to think more about what I’m eating in a healthy way 

Sooo, yep my eating habits haven’t been great. I haven’t been planning it’s been a grab and go when I have a chance situation. Which just screams not healthy. In the past, I’ve forgotten to eat until really late and that’s just a bad idea.

I need to actually sleep 

I push myself to stay awake even when I’m super tired because I want to get things done. Even though I know I’ll feel worse for it in a few days. See I told you I was stubborn. So I’m trying to set time for myself and sleep and also have one weekend day where I have nothing planned and no alarms set where possible!

Have you got any tips or things that you need to work on yourself? I’d love to hear them in the comments below!