Month: Oct 2016

Halloween Memories.

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Happy Halloween! It’s already the end of October and a holiday that I absolutely LOVE. I have a love affair with Halloween but as I write this at 9 on a school night we’ve had no trick or treaters, sad times. I’m a giant kid on most holidays (I still don’t sleep on Christmas Eve, I still compete in the Easter Egg Hunt with my sister and I still count down to my birthday) and it was so hard not to go to work in full fancy dress today.

Some of my favourite memories from my childhood are from Halloween. When I was really small all my cousins and I would go trick or treating together covered in glitter and face paint. We’d visit all the neighbours that had known us since we were born and my grandparents would give us our pre-made bags, aunts, uncles and parents would give us special treats from Thorntons. Later my parents would throw Halloween parties (even though I felt a little old). The best times though were when I was in America for Halloween. The USA knows how to do Halloween properly. My parents took my sister and I in 2009 and then Ali too in 2010 to Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween party. It’s absolutely amazing

The best times though were when I was in America for Halloween. The USA knows how to do Halloween properly. My parents took my sister and  then Ali too in 2010 to Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween party. It’s absolutely amazing all the characters are dressed in costumes, there are shows and a parade and all the sweets you can eat. The park is open until around midnight and you come away with bags and bags of sweets (so many that I usually take a bag or two home to the UK). It’s also a fun atmosphere, I’m not into Halloween to get scared I’m in it to have fun!

 

The last few Halloweens have been very different, parties with friends or staying in eating sweets that trick or treaters didn’t come for (what a shame!). One day though I’m going to head back and party with Mickey Mouse, because that’s how it should be done.

Feminist Friday: Scary NOT Sexy.

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It’s the beginning of Halloween weekend, which means the delights of sweets, parties for some and London Comic Con for me. For the last few years, I’ve been to some kind of Halloween party, I’ve always dressed up. That said, but the older I’ve gotten the more uncomfortable I’ve felt about the costumes available to me. Every costume I looked at in the shops this year and last year and the year before that had the smallest amount of fabric possible. A man could be a surgeon, nurse, wizard or characters from TV and film, while pre-bought costumes for women are all about being ‘sexy’. Hell, you can get a costume to be a sexy bumblebee and prior to the release of the new Ghostbusters movie that women’s version of the costume was a tight fitted, bum skimming dress. I don’t know about you, but I think it would be hard to catch ghosts in something that barely covers your bum.

I know that people think I’m overreacting when I call out this sexist BS, but how can I not? Why are women expected to wear costumes that are designed for men. Let’s be honest, they’re not designed for women because wearing hardly any clothes in October not comfortable. Now I understand wanting to wear something a little flirty or fun, but the industry has gotten ridiculous a Finding Nemo costume for men is Nemo, a costume for women is a skimpy dress in Nemo colours. What?

This might seem silly, it might seem like something that’s not worth shouting about, but it is. Why should I have to wear a costume that doesn’t fit because the one made for women isn’t for me to enjoy myself it’s for the viewing pleasure of others. This is what it means to be objectified by industry. I refuse to buy these stupid and sexist costumes. If that means I have to make my own I will. Halloween is supposed to be a little scary and fun, not a boob fest! Don’t feel pressured to buy or wear these costumes, you’re worth more than a cheap revealing costume. Screw being sexy, be whoever you damn want and for me, that’s the Scarlet Witch for Comic Con, an awesome, smart and badass female, not a ‘sexy cat’.

Book Review: When We Collided – Emery Lord

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“My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it.”

Jonah never thought a girl like Vivi would come along. Vivi didn’t know Jonah would light up her world.
Neither of them expected a summer like this…a summer that would rewrite their futures.

In an unflinching story about new love, old wounds, and forces beyond our control, two teens find that when you collide with the right person at just the right time, it will change you forever.

Well, what can I say about this novel? While initially, I wondered if this was going to be another novel about teenagers falling in love and everything is magical and great forever. I can’t read books like that anymore because there are so many. This was a refreshing read focusing on real issues and how we cope with them and showing teenagers as people.

I got this with my Illumicrate back in May and have only got around to reading it now. I am kicking myself for not reading it sooner! Emery Lord is a fantastic writer and can write thoughtful, funny and beautiful words that will suck you in. I could not put this book down, I was constantly thinking about Vivi and Jonah, their lives, their futures. Also, it’s rare that I love an ending as much as I did this one. It was absolutely perfect and just created a sense of peace for me at the end.

While the blurb hints at mental illness, it doesn’t show the extent of how the novel manages it. Both Vivi and Jonah are so real and incredible because they have flaws, they make mistakes and, for me, you can see yourself in their decisions and mistakes. The novel has so many elements to it family, friends, reflection and how people live through challenges in mental health. Jonah’s grief is explored, as are issues in Vivi’s past.

With all that said the novel is uplifting, I loved every single page. Vivi is a breath of fresh air and Jonah took my heart from the very first page. I’d love to go into the list of reasons why but I don’t want to spoil anything because it really is a treat.

Of course, I gave this novel five stars, for a while I thought it may be four but the ending bumped it up. I loved the pace, characters and plot it was absolutely incredible and I can’t wait to get myself reading anything else that Emery writes because she is truly talented.

October’s Owlcrate Review and Unboxing

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It’s my favourite time of the moooooonth! Yes, it’s unboxing and this is the only box I’m receiving this month. Owlcrate went with a Fairytale theme this month and I was so excited! Because everyone needs a little magic in their life, right?

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Vassa in the Night by Sarah Porter 

I’d never heard of this book but I’m intrigued by the blurb. I’ve always wanted to read more fairytale retellings, just because there’s so many places you can go with it, there’s also a really interesting class dynamic (that’s the lit geek in me coming out). It’s now on the TBR pile, have a look and see if it’s going to be on yours too!

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Bookmark and Oz Notebook. 

Aren’t these adorable?! I’m always game for a new bookmark (you can never have enough). I loved the notebook too, it’s a cute size that you can just throw in your bag and has a vintage vibe to it. img_1086

Pin Badge and Bookmark 

While I wasn’t that keen on the pin badge I loved the message on the bookmark and I’ll definitely be checking out The New World Series and seeing what it’s all about.

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Sleeping Beauty Bracelet 

This is absolutely adorable and really well crafted. It was a nice surprise and even though I’m not big on jewellery myself it’s definitely peaked my interest in what is to come.

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Peter Pan Hat 

I literally squealed when I saw this. I absolutely love Peter Pan, it’s one of my favourite Disney films (because who doesn’t love Peter Pan?). I’ve been wearing it with pride.

What did you think of this month’s Owlcrate? Let me know in the comments below!

Sunday 7: The Perks of Being an Auntie

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This morning the world welcomed little Ollie and now I’m an Auntie to 2 little lovelies. It’s one of the best things and even when Lexi arrived as a surprise I fell in love with her and now, even though Ollie was only born at 6.55 this morning I love him too. Here are 7 things that are the best about being an Auntie/ Godmother.  

Seeing someone you love become a parent is an amazing thing. You also get to see them reflected in their kids. 

You get to play make believe and play with kids toys to bond. Although, Peek-a-boo is still one of my favorites. 

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Little people hugs are the best, the absolute best. Lexi has been known to change my entire day with one hug. 

Being able to act like a kid and having an excuse for it! Lex and I used to run and shout rawr. It’s a perfect stress reliever.

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Birthdays and Christmas are MAGIC to kids. I’m a huge kid around celebrations so there’s nothing better than having a like minded little person to get excited with. 

Being able to give them back is the best part of being an aunt. I’m not ready for kids of my own but I love spending time with the little ones. 

Having someone to cuddle, love and make smile <3. 

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Growing Up and Letting Go

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I didn’t know a year ago that such a large part of growing up meant letting go and, sometimes, walking away. In the past year, I’ve learnt more about those things than I have in my entire life. I’ve had to let one of my precious girls go for her sake, I’ve walked away from friendships that I didn’t feel were working and I’ve had to let go of who I thought I was while trying to work out who I think I am. I might sound like a clichèd 20 something, ‘ I don’t know who I am’, but I really don’t. There’s the person I thought I was at university, there’s the person I am after leaving. I’ve had to let go of a sport I lived for, something which I never thought would happen and breaks my heart more than I’d like to admit. Growing up is full of changes and evolution

Growing up is full of changes and evolution. I guess it’s how we learn and all adds up to the person we’re supposed to be, but that doesn’t make it any less exhausting or any easier. The amount of time I’ve spent just wondering ‘what do I want to do?’ because that has certainly changed since I graduated. People say that being young is easy but this is certainly the most confusing time in my life, even more confusing than when I was a teenager. Theses ideas of what you should be doing, thinking etc compared with what you want to do.

I don’t have a grand plan when I write these things, maybe I should, who knows. I just get it all out on a page, because I do know I’m not the only one who feels this way. We’re all young and confused and that won’t change for the generations to come, to quote one of my favourite bands ’22 is like the worst idea that I have ever had, it’s too much pain, too much freedom what should I do with this?’ Hell if I know.

Feminist Fridays: Including All Women

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Feminism is about equality. Equality for all women to be treated the same as women. There are two key words in that sentence equality and all. When I was 18 I wrote a project on ‘The image of African-American women in post-1900s literature’, while writing it I read a lot about black feminism, I found it interesting but didn’t really understand it at the time. Recently I’ve noticed the distinct lack of inclusion of women of ethnic minorities when I read about feminism. So many of the great feminist writers and speakers are white, and often middle class. There’s nothing wrong with hearing their experiences, but they cannot speak for all women. I am also a white, educated young women and the important thing is that I realise other women have opinions and stories and we need to listen to them. We need more diversity.

For a long time I thought wearing a hijab was oppressive, how dare a religion tell a woman what she can and cannot wear. That was until I met a friend of mine at university, Salma, as well as speaking to other girls in my class about why they chose to cover their heads. Now Salma is one of the most kick ass people I met at uni, we spoke a few times and it isn’t a big deal to her. She wears a scarf because she wants to. Good for her. It doesn’t stop her being who she is, funny and kind, but instead of feminism trying to tell her what she does it wrong, we should stand up for the right for women to wear what they like. I’ve heard countless accounts of black women I’ve known being treated unfairly because they are black and female, or I’ve read about black women not being allowed to wear their hair naturally at work. We should be working together to beat this discrimination.

I also can’t understand why some people,I’m looking at you Germaine Greer, won’t accept Trans women into feminism. They are women, they have been born into the wrong body. Hell being a woman is hard, anyone who’s willing to go through the immense pressure and change of making your body how it should be is a kind of hero to me. Why can’t people accept these women into feminism and fight for their rights, the right for them to use the damn bathroom or get access to good medical care.

I completely understand that different women will have difference issues and opinions but we’re all women. If we work together, respecting each others choices and personal feminism think of how much we could get achieved and how much we could learn too. I’m a feminist and I care about ALL women’s rights, regardless of race,choice or sexual orientation. Who’s with me??

Book Review: Far From You – Tess Sharpe

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“Bad ideas are sometimes necessary.” It sounds so much like an excuse, it’s such an addict thing to say, that it makes my skin crawl.”

Sophie counts the days, the weeks, the months that she’s been drug-free. Not your average image of a drug addict Sophie is a young woman who fell into an addiction for painkillers. Four months ago her best friend Mina was murdered, people say it was adrug deal gone wrong. Sophie knows the truth. There was no drug deal and there was no accident, Mina was murdered and she has to get people to believe her before the killer comes for her next.

All hail Tess Sharpe. I have to say that after reading this novel I was absolutely hooked, I wanted to read it about five times over because it had just been so magnificently written. Who can be believed, who can be trusted? No one knows in this gritty thriller novel if you loved Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls then you’ll adore Far From You. I’ve been thrusting copies into my friends hands since I read it because each chapter takes you somewhere you didn’t think it would.

Sophie and Mina are really interesting characters and the meaning of best friends. When Mina is murdered and Sophie wakes up next to her body, only knowing this is where Mina needed to be she knows that she’s in trouble. After she passes out again the police find drugs in her pocket. No one will listen to her not her parents, not the police, not anyone and if no one is going to help she’s going to have to follow Mina’s clues herself and hopefully Mina’s killer.

I love a thriller with decent twists and turns that no one can see coming, I cannot ruin it but the ending is something else that, out of everyone I’ve spoken to, no one can see coming. I did have some small worries about getting stuck into this book and the character of Sophie mainly because I didn’t want her portrayed badly because in the first few pages I really did fall in love with her and completely understand what she was going through.

There are also some very interesting relationships as you go through the novel, there are very little clues that I can give without unraveling the plot but just as you think, ok I know what’s going on here Sharpe throws another curveball and you’re back where you started and eager for more. I stayed up a lot later than I should have reading this book and can 100% say that I didn’t regret it.

It’s no surprise that I’m giving Far From You 5 stars *****. Tess Sharpe is a fantastic writer and after finding out that this is also a debut I was even more excited to see what she has coming next. A breathtaking and fast paced read that any thriller fan will love, although one word of advice don’t start reading it when you have something important to do the next day because staying up all night reading is highly likely.

Review by Chloe Metzger

What Being on a Mental Health Waitlist is Like

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Imagine you have an endless clock ticking in your head, the sound is not only annoying but  terrifying because you don’t know what happens when the clock stops ticking. That’s what it’s like living with a mental illness and no access to the treatment you know you need. That’s what it’s like living in my head at the moment.

I aim to always be honest and open about my mental health because talking about it is the only way were going to leave the stigma behind. I have been lucky enough for the past 3 years to have a wonderful mentor who worked with me weekly in navigating my mental health alongside studying and working. The problem was that she was funded by the Government under Disabled Student Allowance, who have strict rules. The week I handed in all of my coursework they stopped my funding. To them, I didn’t need academic help so I wasn’t their responsibility. It doesn’t matter that graduates face massive change and are under extreme stress. Even though I know I can still count on my mentor, it’s not the same as having her there weekly.

So, after speaking to my doctor, I was informed that there is a 4 – 5 month wait for someone to talk to. Oh and that’s after the one company that provides talking therapy in the whole area bother to call me back. People might not understand why I’m mad why I get so frustrated because I’m ok now, right? I wouldn’t say I’m 100% ok, I am struggling and do regularly. I’m managing as best I can.

I don’t understand, the worst thing for a person with a mental health condition is being left with their demons and no help is a dangerous thing. Those 4 months could mean the difference between life and death for some people. It makes me angry and upset that one person has to deem you ‘sick enough’ to get treatment in a healthy time scale, that there isn’t enough money in our health service, that it’s clear that mental health isn’t taken as seriously as physical health.

I’ve been in the deepest and darkest parts of depression and I’ll be honest, it’s one of the most terrifying things. It scares me knowing how sick I was and that as a teenager. I spoke out, I even told teachers and doctors I was depressed and just how poorly I was, only to have it shrugged off. I’m trying and fighting and working not to get back into that place and to stay on top of this illness. At the same time though, I feel like the doctors are giving up, that they don’t care if I get to the point of darkness, they’ll help then. We need to get rid of this culture of letting people get to their worst before we help because we wouldn’t do that to any other health condition.

We need to get rid of this culture of letting people get to their worst before they help, because we wouldn’t do that to any other health condition.

Sunday Seven: My To Be Read Pile

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Now it’s getting colder and days curled up in blankets are more acceptable I thought I’d share some of the books on my To Be Read (TBR) pile. There’s a lot more than this, but these are some I’m planning to finish in the next few weeks.

A Clash of Kings – George R.R. Martin 

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It’s been a while since I finished the first Game of Thrones book so I thought it was time I should get stuck into the next one in the series. After all, Winter is coming.

Shrill – Lindy West 

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A fab feminist read, because I always need a good book from a kick-ass woman on the go.

The Wicked and The Divine: Rising Action – Kieron Gillen, Jamie McKelvie (Illustrator), Matt Wilson (Illustrator)

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This is one of the weirdest graphic novel series’s that I read and I’m SO excited, can’t wait to get this read!

Hello Me, It’s You –  Anonymous, edited by Hannah Todd 

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I requested this from the publisher, mostly because I’m interested in what other people would say to their younger selves. I really hope this is as good as I think it’s going to be.

Belzhar – Meg Wolitzer

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A young adult novel that has something to do with Sylvia Plath? Sign me up!

In Order to Live – Yeonmi Park 

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I don’t know a lot about North Korea. I’m hoping that Yeonmi’s account, which I’ve heard only good things about, can teach me about what it’s like for the people.

Brain on Fire – Susannah Cahalan

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I’m always interested in reading other people’s accounts of their lives with mental illness. Susannah’s book was recommended to me on Goodreads.

What’s on your reading list? Let me know in the comments below!