Am I ready for the end?

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As excited and happy as I was to see the back of my Dissertation and Special Study, my two biggest essays I’ve felt a little all over the place with my emotions for the past few days. I think it’s finally hitting that as soon as these assignments are over it’s the end of my time studying for my degree and slowly but surely everyone will start moving to various parts of the world and I’ve got to work this job thing out. I guess I’m struggling with the fact that I’ve built my life in this town and I have all these people I know, places I like and now I’m going to up and move again. While I’ve missed Basingstoke, I’m not the person I was when I was there, and I won’t be the doormat I was when I lived there. I want to carry on being this strong person but with so much change and uncertainty I can feel my anxiety rising.

As my Mum said this morning though, this is a new beginning. I’m trying to look forward and remember the person I am now is who I continue to be. Not being in uni doesn’t mean I revert to the anxious 18 year old I was when I left, or that I’m going to be as sick as I was. When you’re low it’s hard to think of these things. I’m also not putting too much pressure on myself to find the perfect job straight out of uni and be 100% independent in every single aspect, there’s going to be a time where things are a bit messy but I guess that’s ok.

I don’t really know what this post is, I guess just to get my thoughts out because I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. I’m also just struggling to be motivated to finish my assignments, there’s definitely been a lack of support at uni for the last few weeks which is a shame, so I don’t know if I’m doing things right or not. I guess I’m just a bundle of anxiety right now but a little over 1 week to go and it’s all over, I’m just wondering what happens next…

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