Tag: proud

Starting December right!

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It’s been a pretty positive start to the week and now the month, just what I needed! There’s been some really shitty parts to this year, especially in the last few months so I’m determined to send 2015 off in a positive year and look forward to 2016…even if I am a little bit terrified of it! I wasn’t feeling particularly great about today, I was anxious about my gym class because of the pain I’ve been having but it turns out I didn’t need to be. That said I was already in a good mood from last night after having a long and lovely Skype conversation with Eleanor, it’s hard with her being all the way in New Zealand but we’re making it work.

Of course today is December 1st (I know, how is it December already?!?) so it’s advent calender time but since I haven’t been back home in a while I had no advent calendar this morning…the first time since I was 1. Luckily Mum text me a picture this morning of a maltesers advent calendar all for me, yay! I also picked up Star Wars ones for me and Ali too because IT’S FINALLY STAR WARS MONTH AND MY TICKETS ARE BOOKED, AHHHHHH.

As always I trekked to the hospital for 9am *sob* for my morning gym recovery class. I’d had a rough week last week so I was lucky I could talk to Mum before going and try and get in a good mindset before going in, got mistaken for a student nurse (I wish!) and got told that ‘surely I still have time to grow’ after I complained I was so tiny… the people in the class thought I was in my teens. Of course the real reason I was nervous was pain but I tackled all the machines, including a new one, and I kicked butt! There is no better feeling for me at the moment than coming home covered in sweat and knowing I’ve worked hard to get better, even if I do pay for it later. Oh and because my physio instructor for the gym is amazing I got given a sticker because I worked so hard…being the youngest has its perks!

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Another really amazing thing is that as I’ve mentioned before I’ve struggled with the fact I’ve put on weight because of the accident and recovery, as well as the implications of my medication. As I wrote before I won’t mention numbers on here but I can confirm my healthier eating habits and gradually building up movement is working I’m finally losing the weight I gained!! I’m really proud of myself for doing something healthy and my strength in will power!

I ended a good day with a great evening at The Fighting Cocks with Ali, Charlotte, Rhys and later Joe. I got to play in the quiz, laugh a lot, get drawn on and just get out of the house with no expectation to get drunk which was really nice. It also helps that whenever me and Charlotte hang out we can’t stop laughing.

I’m stupidly excited about this start to December and I hope more than anything it carries on!

Society Awards 2015!!!

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Last night I mentioned that I was getting ready for the university Society Awards. It was all a bit of a rush at first with missing trains, busses not turning up and my sat in my wheelchair waiting for someone (Amy) to come and push me. We’ve gotten A LOT better at navigating around Kingston since the last time and Amy has strength that she never knew she did. So Amy, Laura and I headed out to represent Kingston Horse Riding Society at the awards.

It was a big dinner and award ceremony and I was wheeled around (and to my embarrassment carried because there weren’t ramps to the waiting area). We ate, laughed and took photos. First up was volunteering awards, which I’m embarrassed to say that I really didn’t know anything about. I’d love to volunteer but next year I’m going to be doing so much it will be unreal!

We nervously waited for our categories. This year we were nominated for Most Improved Society, Best President and Laura for Outstanding Contribution. We were shortlisted for the first….and then we won!!!!! We screamed so loud, our little society had won most improved! I was gutted that I couldn’t go up and accept with the others but a special mention was made and my picture taken! It was an incredible feeling and something I’m so proud to take through when I am president next year.

The society’s award!!! 

Next up was president of the year, which unfortunately Laura didn’t win but was shortlisted! We sat through the rest of the evening grinning like idiots because we did it! We had an award!! We only had one more to go and I, being the clumsy idiot I was, was trying not to knock everything over on the table.

Can you tell how excited we are? 😀 

For the final award of the night, Outstanding Contribution and we have a winner!!! Laura was one of 8 chosen! I cried when she won this award. I’m proud of all for my friends for different reasons, for Laura this is just a smidgen of how proud I am of her. Like me, she had a fall last year but is STILL recovering and had 9 months off of riding while she helped all of us and taught me everything I know about horses. She’d dealt with a load of other stuff as well and always has a smile on her face. Well deserved is an understatement and I am so happy to have her in my life and I can’t wait to watch our friendship grow over all our riding adventures!

Lovely Laura with her incredible award! 

I was so glad I went, after all the nerves and panic I felt about going in the chair. There were also times while I was there and feeling a little bit overwhelmed. So many people wanted to know about the wheelchair and what happened and what was going on in terms of recovery. I appreciated their kindness but it sent my anxiety into overdrive and nervousness.

Later on I’d calmed down and enjoyed myself. I was even wheeled on the dance floor and spun around, trying to wave my arms like a mad thing. Later, Laura did the same until my meds started to ware off and I got tired. I ended up getting wheeled home after midnight with lollipops and sweets. I was tucked up in bed (after being lifted in when my back decided it didn’t want to work) with a smile on my face and a tummy full of nerves for a fantastic society next year.

And the winner is…me!

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I’m writing this with the biggest, stupidest grin on my face. I won!!!!!!! I cannot believe it but I won! I am this years winner of the Overcoming Adversity to Achieve award ahhhhh! I’m still half in disbelief, even though it’s right next to me as I type this (and looked pretty damn good in the flat if I say so myself!).

I honestly thought that the amount of inspiring people who were up for that award that I was going home empty handed and I was fine with that, they were all so amazing I was shocked that I had even been shortlisted with them. One of the best parts of  the evening though was sitting with SIR TREVOR MCDONALD of all people on my table and having a long conversation with him about literature, music, the world in general and the new TV show he has coming up. He even mentioned me in his speech and before announcing I was a winner said that he really thought I deserved it. He is truly one of the most wonderful men I have ever met.

Everyone was so welcoming and so proud I won, hugs and congratulations all evening! Some of the people tonight I am proud to be at university with and proud to be at Kingston itself, a place I will always love. I’m struggling to write this because it’s all still sinking in and its so incredible.

Thank you to everyone who helped me along the way. I’ve come so far from what I was and I’m so proud of myself for making the changes and making myself face up to them. I couldn’t list every single person but you all know who you are, I love you so,so much. Winning this has made me even more determined to keep working on mental health, to keep helping others.

Don’t give up guys! I never thought this could happen for me! ❤

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Our boys, Our girls

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Every day, every night there are brave men and women fighting for this country. I caught up tonight on BBC 1’s ‘Our Girl’, Molly’s off to war. I love the programme but every time I watch it I get a lump in my throat. It’s not even for the characters, it’s because seeing a drama gets me so worked up because I can’t imagine what it’s like to live and work through that. I love Our Girl, although I normally watch it not on the night it’s aired but later when I can reflect on it and, well, appreciate it. Personally, I think the BBC is doing a great job, as is Lacey Turner.

Lacey Turner in Our Girl, BBC 1 on Sunday nights. 

 

When Lee Rigby was murdered last year the country went into shock. A young solider, father, a man who had fought for us was killed on the streets of his own country. It reminded us of the loss of our troops as well as the danger in the UK. I’m not going to sugar coat it, but I’m not here to scare you. There are terrorists but that doesn’t mean we should live in fear. As I write this the government have been voting on whether to enter another war, this time on ISIS. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, for our country but most of all for our soldiers. I was one of the many who hoped they may get a break from what seems to be never ending conflict.

I’m old enough to remember when you could go and see the cock pit of a plane on a flight and meet the pilot, when you didn’t have to have your shoes searched and full body scanners weren’t around. I remember before 9/11 (it was a week before my 7th birthday and I didn’t really understand what was happening). All of this said, I’m pleased we have these measures in place now, but I wish we hadn’t had to implement them for the reasons we did. Basically anyone my age has grown up watching the news coverage and because of this I have had nothing but respect for our men and women in uniform, at one point I wanted to become and RAF pilot myself.

After watching tonight I had this overwhelming need to do something to support our troops, but I didn’t know how. Scrolling through the Help for Heroes website I realised I could do something. Instead of buying a new hoodie from Topshop, Jack Wills or another band hoodie I could buy one from HFH, donating money to a good cause and showing my support. Am I nervous about wearing it? The pride overshadows any nervousness I have after Lee Rigby’s death.

Next on the to buy list

I’m passionate and proud of our military. I want to end this post by reminding you all of the website http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/ and to support our troops! They risk their lives so we can live ours.

Why I LOVE Kingston

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It’s no surprise to any of you who read this blog regularly that I am absolutely in love with my university. I study there, I live there, I have friends there, I met my band there and I want to stay there. Without sounding cocky after my results came out I could have applied to other places I recieved A*, Distinction *, Distinction *, Distinction and B overall and had a stack of UCAS points I didn’t expect. I worked bloody hard and threw up in my exam, so yes I was proud of myself. This actually let of a fair bit of snobbery, people would ask why I was applying to Kingston with my grades and I’m writing this to explain why I chose Kingston and why I want to choose them again.

Kingston was one of the first places that I felt like I could fit, I was excited as well as terrified but that didn’t stop me. Since I got here it’s been amazing, the support I get, my incredible tutor and lecturers, my mental health team, the student life team, working with the students union, awards and endless opportunities. It is because of all of this I get incredibly angry when we are seen as a number on a league table, spend a year like I have and you’ll realise life is abut more than tables. I didn’t even look at them when I applied! I just wanted to be happy.

Now my first year is over I can say that despite some challenges and my decision to become a full field literature student, I’m happy. I’m so, so happy. I still find people giving me a look when I say where I study because they study somewhere more prestigious, blah, blah, blah. Oxford, Cambridge, UCL I know for a fact none of these places would have been right for me as a person. I’m more than just a brain in a tank. I love that my lecturers treat me as a person and arn’t too busy to have a chat when they have office hours. I love the fact that my tutor hasn’t given up on me despite some really bad anxiety this year.

Most of all I love the fact that I’ve been given a chance and a boost of ambition. I’ll finish my degree in 2 years and start my masters, which will hopefully be at Kingston. This is a post about uni pride because that’s what I feel so strongly. I’m not trying to recruit people (I’ve already done that at Open Day), this is just how proud I am of my uni. I honestly think Kingston has helped me so much in fighting my illness and boosting my confidence so far, for that I’ll always be grateful.

Sister Time

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Today I was able to spend some quality time with my baby sister who is, in my opinion, beautiful inside and out. Now sometimes darling Summer-Rose can be a total teenage and a total pain in the arse. She knows what she wants and she tells people what she thinks. To me this is more of a relief than anything, my sister will not be bullied because she wont let anyone bully her. As I’ve move out I feel like we’re closer than ever and our phone calls get longer every week (our poor parents who pay for them!) and I get surprised about how grown up she is. She is no longer that little girl any more. It isn’t playing with make-up any more she thinks carefully, she hates her school work because she already knows it. She questions me about Uni and College trying to work out what she wants to do but at the same time she wants to see the Lego movie with Ali next month, she loves cuddles and she loves anything pink so actually she still is my very little sister. There is a seven year age gap between us so I’ll always see her as a baby and I think I find it harder than Mum to let her become a teenager.  I like to know that she’ll come to me with problems or when someone is doing her head in, I also like that she is now her own person. In short I am very,very proud of my baby sister.