Yes, your butt looks big in that – honesty in relationships

IMG_8145

It’s a long standing joke, the question, ‘does my butt look big in this?’ Most of the time when watching films, usually a comedy, the partner will exclaim ‘of course not!’, without thinking they will boost your ego. But, what if it does make your butt look big? I’m talking about honesty in general, of course, there are a lot more pressing issues than how your bottom looks in a new piece of clothing. A lot of us say we want a completely honest relationship but if your significant other was to tell you that it did, what would you do? Or would you tell your partner your true feelings?

Ali is an honest person, he always has been. If I ask him for his opinion he’ll tell me. I once asked him if he thought I’d put on weight, he told me ‘yes’ but went on to say if I wanted to do anything about it, he would help me, if not, that’s fine too. We’ve been this way for a long time, even as teenagers he would call me out on my BS. If I was having an argument with a friend and went too far he would tell me. Of course, there have been little white lies, I’m sure. I’m not going out with a saint.

What is great is that it will work both ways, I’ll tell him when I think he’s being too nice or if I have a different opinion on work for example. Have we had arguments form being honest with each other? Of course. Is it always nice? Nope. That said, I’d rather the person I trust the most tell me than him let someone else because he’s too scared to, what kind of relationship is that?

I’m not saying it’s easy, because it’s not. It’s taken us nine years to get to this point. Where we know how to say it as well as what to say without hurting the other person’s feelings. Instead of saying ‘your butt looks huge it’s a no go’, he might say, ‘I’m not sure it shows off your shape that well’ instead. See, honest that it’s not the right dress, not cruel.

What are your tips and troubles with being honest in relationships?

Let me know in the comments below!

OMG! My baby sister is 16!

20229670_10156432913493206_9187210270691371403_o

16 years ago, I woke up to the news that I had a baby sister. I danced around her kitchen, before asking if I could go to school just to tell my teacher, then go meet her. Instead, I went to meet this teeny tiny baby that was going to change my life. Now she’s sunning herself in Cyprus at the age of 16. I watched her first steps, walked her to her first day of school and saw her on her last. This isn’t going to be a long post but just to acknowledge the most amazing, kick ass, funny, loving and smart person my baby sister is growing to be. She makes me want to be better, be brave and be more like her. I can’t wait to see where this crazy little one goes next and what we’ll be doing in another 16 years!

I love you, Squidge.

19598739_10155485547198637_807448249156235423_n

Sunday Seven: My Favourite Disney/ Pixar Movies

I spent the majority of my childhood watching Disney films. I can still remember the exact covers of the VHS tapes as I rewound them and watched again and again. It’s something that hasn’t changed as I’ve grown up, I’ve fallen in love with some of the newest films too. There are SO many that I love, choosing just 7 was so hard but these are films that I ever watched constantly as a child or that I’ve found as an adult and LOVED.

 d4WEUn0yS74.movieposter_maxres

Zootopia

Let’s start with the newest of the bunch. I was well into trying to adult when this film came out and I fell in LOVE with it. I loved Judy and Nick, the way that it actually represents bigger issues in the world. Judy is definitely in my to-cosplay list too!

Tangled_poster

Tangled 

The music, the kick ass princess, the animals. What is not to LOVE about Tangled? I thought it was absolutely incredible and she’s one of my favourite Disney Princesses of all time just because she’s not a made and ready princess she has to learn.

fa2633a4bf0f0f85cd9a8ab2b8744afd--peter-pan-movie-peter-pan-

Peter Pan 

You can fly, you can fly, you can flyyyyyyy! I loved this movie so, so much. Once it was announced our school play was Peter Pan I was on it. I did manage to bag the part of Wendy and it was amazing. I knew all of the songs, loved the story as well as Tinkerbell being her sassy self.

little_mermaid_upgrade_poster

The Little Mermaid 

So my nickname growing up was The Little Mermaid. I loved this film and just sang part of your world constantly, even now I’ll have a sing song to myself. Ariel was just such a cool princess she kicked ass, had a cool voice and I think she was the start of my love for red hair too. I also loved the second movie, and the third. Just anything mermaid related was fine with me.

 

the-jungle-book.jpg

The Jungle Book

Between the ages of 6 months and 2 and a half I had to watch this of 101 Dalmations every night. Every single damn night so I’d eat my dinner. My poor Mum and Grandparents know them both word for word. But didn’t we all love Baloo? Wasn’t he just the best?!

61p5f+jb9cL._SY445_

101 Dalmatians 

As I said above. That and I love dogs, I have to stop for every dog I see and I definitely think that was the start of it. They’re just all so adorable and I’m totally in love with the new Cath Kidston Disney range too.

51HC6Y0XNVL

Toy Story 2 

Ok, ok hold fire I know that this is a sequel but hear me out. I went to see this in the cinema just before my 5th birthday and I thought Jessie was amazing. I loved her, she was fun and while I’d already loved Toy Story the second one made me so happy to have a real COWGIRL. I had the outfit for my fifth birthday…

12036881_10153645156373637_3763984739269533724_n

What are your favourite Disney movies? Let me know in the comments below!

 

Book Review: Doing It! Let’s Talk About Sex – Hannah Witton

32181998

If you haven’t come across British Youtuber Hannah Witton, you’ve been missing out! Hannah is a fabulous vlogger who primarily discusses sex and relationships in an open manner. From her incredible ‘The Hormone Diaries’ documenting her journey coming off the pill, her collaborative podcast ‘The Banging Bookclub’ and body positivity Hannah is like an older Youtube sister.

I’ve only been watching Hannah for a few months and just found her to be positive and enlightening before seeing her book EVERYWHERE so I thought why not, I love her channel so let’s give the book a go, and I’m glad I did. Now, before reading I would recommend watching a few of her videos to get a feel for Hannah’s voice and personality to really understand the book.

Divided into chapters such as Healthy Relationships, Masturbation, Virginity, LQBTQ, Consent and more. What’s worth noting, however, is that why this is Hannah’s book and primarily her perspective, she understands and acknowledges that there are situations that she cannot talk about her personal experiences, because they don’t apply. Instead of creating blanket statements, Hannah has chosen to include the perspectives of many different Youtubers on their own experiences. This was so refreshing to read from own voices.

As Hannah addresses on her channel this book is for a younger audience, mostly teenagers. That said as a 22 year old I still learnt from it. I think this is an invaluable tool for younger people. There is so much in here that won’t be discussed in school or with friends as a young person. We are becoming more open but we need books like this available to all young people as something to reference more than from cover to cover. There really is something in here for everyone.

I absolutely loved Hannah’s book and felt that it was a great and informative read. It’s got humour, but at the same time,  there is clear and relevant information in an easy to read manner. I mean there’s even a section on consent but it gets the information across without scare mongering. I gave this four stars because I see it as a really great way to start a conversation. As I said, I’d definitely check out Hannah’s channel before reading just to get a feel and really appreciate everything she is doing to promote healthy relationships and sexual experiences, click here to watch!

The Truth About Being in a Long Term Relationship

A lot of people in my life ask me about my relationship. Ali and I have been together for almost 9 years. We met at school and have been together since the ages of 13 and 14. This isn’t common and I only know one or two other couples who are in a long-term relationship in their early twenties.  There is this fascination whenever new people find out about us and there are a LOT of questions, so I thought why not make a blog post about them.

Do you ever feel like your missing out? 

No, not really. I’m in a relationship where we can do what we want to do. There’s no asking permission or anything like that. I’ll check we haven’t planned anything before finalising plans with friends, out of politeness. I can do what I like and so can he so I don’t feel like I miss anything.

Is it easier now you’ve met someone? 

I don’t have the same stresses in terms of relationships that my friends have, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t without struggles. We’ve been together 9 years so of course, we have disagreements and arguments. I wouldn’t say it’s easier, it takes patience, time and love!

What’s the best part of being with someone for that long? 

We got to grow together. We’ve literally seen each other through our awkward teenage years, through becoming who we are at university. We’ve seen some of the worst parts and some of the best. That’s really special because I’ve seen him become the man he is today and I love it.

Do you have to compromise? 

Of course, we’re two individuals with different opinions.

Dude, why aren’t you married yet?

Do you know how EXPENSIVE it is to get married?! It’s something we’d like to do some day but right now we’re pretty chill living together.

Do you feel like you’re just part of a couple? 

People often think of us as ‘Chloe & Ali’ but I still feel like an individual. I know what I like, he knows what he likes. We have similar friends but different careers, different thoughts and opinions. I think that’s really important in a healthy relationship.

What advice do you have? 

Other people’s opinions can be the worst thing for a relationship. There’s no set way to have a relationship, no strict timeline. As long as there is trust, friendship and respect then you do you!

Harry.

As most of you know 20 years ago today a very special book was released. On the 16th June 1997 Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone was released and little did I know it would change my life forever. Now, I have to make a confession. While I am a huge Potterhead now with a huge collection and love for everything Potter related, I wasn’t in the first wave in 1997, you see I was born in 1994 and couldn’t quite read at the age of 3. It wasn’t until after the films came out I got interested. I was too scared to see the film (the clip of Fluffy terrified me) and thought that only boys liked it (oh how wrong I was), instead, I started reading the books. From that point on it never stopped.

For me this was more than a book. This was something I loved so, so deeply. I remember my first pre-order, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in 2003. I needed that book but as a 9 year old I asked my Mum if we could go and get it as soon as it opened and so I went to WHSmiths handed them my piece of paper and was given my new book with release day goodies. They were so precious to me that I never used them, they currently live at my Mum’s house. For a 9-year-old little girl that was a BIG book, but I got through, I just kept reading and reading. I did the same for Half-Blood Prince and again for Deathly Hallows.

I always loved Hermione, because I felt like I was reading about myself. She was smart, a little bossy and a little annoying but with a good heart. She had messy brown hair and big teeth, I could see Hermione as a friend. I loved Harry and Ron and later Ginny became a firm favourite too. With each film, I would eagerly await what would happen, even though I knew just to see the magic again. I was lucky enough to go to America to see the theme park not long after opening and to go to London for the studio tour a few years later.

These books, these words spoke to me. They were a place I could fall into, books I could read over and over again and just be transported. I wasn’t bullied, I was a witch as smart as Hermione, as brave as Harry, as lovely as Ron. They were like good friends to me. Even now I hear the theme music and get goosebumps because it means so much to me. I’m even getting emotional as I write this. Everyone who knows and loves me knows there are few things in life I love more than Potter, hell even my first car was called Harry! And even though Pottermore doesn’t agree I always have and always will be a Gryffindor.

As I get older I’ll continue reading, listening, watching. Any extra books or information I’ll greedily take because I care so much about that world, the world that Jo has created for us to enjoy. I’ll make my wand collection even bigger, continue collecting until I don’t have the room and continue to live the lessons that Harry and his world taught me. This was so much more than a set of books for me, it was a childhood, a love, a lifeline and happiness.

Here’s to another 20 years of magic.

May Favourites!

We’ve gotten to May! I don’t know about you but this month we’ve had a bit of a heatwave. The summer is definitely getting there (although as I write this it’s raining, typical). So with another month done and dusted for 2017 let’s get stuck in.

Books 

I’ve had a little bit of a reading slump this month and struggled to get into fiction in particular so this month I’ve been reading a lot of memoirs and general non-fiction. I’ve fallen in love once again with Hannah Witton as I mentioned last month I love her videos and picked up her first book which is about sex and relationships although it’s aimed at a younger audience it’s a great read. I also read Drew Barrymore’s memoir Wildflower (review here) and it was an eyeopener into her life, when I knew little about her. I also enjoyed Luisa Omielan’s first book What Would Beyoncé Do?! Named after her hit stand up show, it was both funny and touching read my review here. I also looked at my feminism shelf and just felt so proud to have all these wonderful books in my possession, I can’t wait to get through them all!

Music

Ed Sheeran was incredible and going with my Mum made it all the more special.

Watching 

I finally finished Game of Thrones and my jaw dropped. I won’t spoil it for anyone but now class GoT as required viewing for all. I also went to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, it wasn’t as strong as the first film but I’ve still had the soundtrack on repeat. Also, Baby Groot is life.

Fashion & Beauty 

I’m finally adding in a Fashion & Beauty section, I know shock horror. This month I’m repping Lush’s Cupcake face mask which is the first lush face mask I’ve ever used and was great on my face and didn’t make it angry (everything makes my skin angry). I’ve also been in LOVE with Lottie London matte lip glosses and wearing them every day because the colour sticks well and the tones are great for an everyday look. I’m also featuring some beautiful vintage inspired fashion, a bag I made myself and my new dress from VJ Vintage Treasures in Basingstoke! Lastly, two of my new bikinis one from the Gok Wan for Sainsbury’s range and the other from the wonderful Ann Summers as I am now an Ann Summers babe!  Rocking those curves.

General 

First of all, shout to the Ice Cream man who parks up in the work car park when it’s boiling! I’ve definitely been feeling the sun this month laying out with my best friend (pre IKEA trip, another favourite). I also experienced my first Thai meal with work and absolutely LOVED it, I’m nervous about trying new food because of my IBS but I definitely made the right descision. Also, from working I caught up with my friend Sammy who also happens to work for the same company I’m temping for and has become my permanent lunch buddy. And finally my hair got a much needed cut, my Wicket is still adorable as always.

 

 

Finally… 

Miss VJ Vintage for May!

I’ve been named Miss VJ Vintage for May! I’m so excited to wear this sash for a wonderful local shop and thanks to everyone who ‘liked’ on Instagram!

What were your favourites this month? Let me know in the comments below!

Things I’d tell myself at sixteen

I’ve been quite reflective recently and thinking a lot about my teenage years, particularly as my sister is fast approaching her 16th (!!) birthday. Now I’m in my twenties, and believe me that’s a rollercoaster enough, but I had a tough time as a teenager, it wasn’t easy but at the same time some of the best things happened to me. I think we all have a certain view of our teenage years. I don’t agree with people saying that it’s the ‘best time of your life’ but there are certain times I look back on fondly. So, here are some of the things I wish I told

I don’t agree with people saying that it’s the ‘best time of your life’ but there are certain times I look back on fondly. So, here are some of the things I wish I could go back and tell myself to just give me a bit of a hand and the things I’ve learnt.

School isn’t forever. 

My life was hell at school, sometimes it felt like it was never going to end but it definitely did and it was glorious.

You’re right to look forward to college, it’s going to be great. 

I lived and breathed for my college. I could do classes I wanted to escape the people who hated me. I used to go and meet Ali from his day with butterflies. It was definitely a good two year with some great friends.

Trust him when he says he loves you, he does. 

I’ve been with Ali for almost 9 years. I had such issues at sixteen that I wasn’t good enough, that he was going to leave me etc. I was a complete nightmare. I wish she knew he’s still around now.

IMG_8145

Don’t hate yourself, you’re not well. 

I was incredibly ill with depression at this point, I literally felt like I was going insane and ruining everyone’s lives. I wish I knew that it was all to do with an illness and not because I was a terrible person.

Others opinions don’t matter

Can not stress this enough!

You can have a great future!

 I didn’t think much about the future much, I couldn’t but I wish I knew that I could get there.

Keep singing, keep writing, keep being creative! 

There were more than a few times I just didn’t want to do it anymore, what was the point, why bother? It was going to do more for me than I thought!

Ignore your art teacher, you’re never going to impress her. 

Seriously, the woman had her favourites, I wasn’t one of them.

Talk to someone. 

Just talk about how you feel.

YOU.ARE.NOT.FAT

Seriously, I would shout this until I was blue in the face if I could. I really struggled with the way I looked and thought I was chubby but I really, really wasn’t.

297557_10150506261413206_1642804622_n

The house parties are going to continue, they’ll be some of the best memories of your life. 

Best. Time. Ever.

Think about uni, just think about it. 

I thought it wasn’t for people like me. Oh I was wrong.

Love yourself, cause you’re pretty awesome. 

Something I still need to remember at 22.

 

What do you wish you knew at 16? Let me know in the comments!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday Seven: Things a Mum does that you might not recognise

img_6561

Here in the UK it’s mothers day! Now I’ve been incredibly lucky and won the luck or the draw with my Mum. She’s been absolutely incredible throughout every up and down in my life. I know I’ve probably added a few grey hairs to her head (sorry Mum!). There are a lot of things that Mum’s do for most of us don’t really think about. Here’s to all the Mum’s and everything you do for us.

They have literally wiped our butts. 

Yup, before we could do anything our Mum’s had to be there for absolutely everything, including keeping us clean.

They’ve cleaned up after us. 

Speaking of cleaning, our Mum’s have cleaned up after us. I know mine did! Even when we probably should have known better, they still cleaned up after us.

They taught us right from wrong. 

Someone tells you you’re polite? Someone compliments you? Chances are it has something to do with what your mumma taught you.

They didn’t give up on us. 

I know that I’ve been in places where I’ve given up on myself , but my Mum never did.

They also told us when we were wrong. 

My Mum definitely isn’t afraid to tell me when I’m wrong or when I’m being stupid, it’s definitely needed.

They fed us and kept us alive. 

And I’m not just talking about when we’re babies, Mum’s frozen dinners really made a difference when I was at uni.

They loved us unconditionally. 

Even when we were little monsters, they loved us, all day, every day.

Happy Mother’s Day ❤

Book Review: Here We Are: Feminism For The Real World – Edited by Kelly Jensen

25226116

What is Feminism? Does doing certain things mean you’re not a Feminist? How can I see myself in Feminism? Being young and trying to be a feminist is tough. Actually, scratch that, being a feminist at any age is tough. When I was younger there was little on feminism, I’ve always believed women can do anything, but didn’t want to use the word ‘Feminist’ (I wrote about it here), I truly believe if there were more books like this I wouldn’t have gone through that awkward phase of insisting I was a ‘humanist’ (urgh). Jensen and the writers behind Here We Are have made an incredible book.

I cannot contain my excitement over this book. I want to go out any buy copies for all my friends, female and male nad just urge them to read it. Unlike any feminist book I’ve read before this collection of essays, stories, art, lists and more will speak to everyone. Jensen and her fellow writers just seem to get what being a modern feminist is, because they aren’t trying to tell you what is right. The book is diverse and doesn’t shy away from topics such as not wanting children, intersectional feminism, racism, mental illness. While I believe this is aimed at young adults, I learnt a lot from its pages.

When I requested this on Netgalley I didn’t expect to like it as much as I did. I hoped it would be good and that it would get the message across, but it did so much more. Women and men from all walks of life have contributed their thoughts on such a variety of issues that I struggle to find flaws in its pages. There were some individual quotes that I didn’t agree with, but that’s part of the beauty of feminism, we don’t all have to agree on everything (something else that was mentioned in the book).

The freedom of expressing yourself in your own way is also celebrated in the book. Artist have taken to creating comic strips, there are poems, songs, general essays, interviews, pictures and artwork, all of which make the message of feminism easier to identify with. By doing so the team of artists and writer have all given a breath of fresh air to self-expression in feminism, something which is definitely needed because not everyone is going to side down and read The Second Sex.

This is a wonderful, smart and encouraging read. I don’t think it’s for one age or one gender. The ideas, layout and overall message of the book is creativity, acceptance, equality and, most importantly, love. I hope this book goes far because it definitely deserves to. Pick up a copy now!

 

Thank you so much to the publishers who sent me an advance copy!