Going, going, gone- Goodbye Dissertation

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If you are following me on any social media, Twitter, Instagram any friends I have on Facebook I now apologise for the avalanche of dissertation related posts for the past few weeks. It really has been my life, every minute I had ‘free’ was spent on my dissertation, reading, editing, re-reading, having a meltdown, carrying on and finally submitting!! Yes today at about 2.30pm I finally handed in my printed and bound dissertation and it felt so good. So, so good.

It doesn’t mean I’m finished, I have two more assignments to finish and submit before everything is done but I do feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I know for a fact I handed in looking exhausted and I don’t really care about that because I am absolutely exhausted! I’m hoping that the next two essays don’t leave me working until 3am (they’re a lot smaller) and so I’ll just feel better.

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THE selfie I’ve been waiting to take for three years

I’m in two minds about whether, if I started my degree all over again, I would take a dissertation again if I had a choice. Looking back on this year and the stresses and strains I’ve had because of my health and my body I would probably been better doing two special studies, but hey ho it’s done and dusted now. Sylvia Plath will always hold a special place in my heart, hell I think I could even write a book on her if I wanted after all the research I’ve done for this! I mean I’m not going to, Sylvia is now just for pleasure reading. On that thought, ah pleasure reading, the TBR list is piling up now!

Honestly, I just feel so happy that it’s over and yes there are niggling little thoughts but I’m pushing them aside. It’s done, it’s over and there’s nothing I can do about it now. Buh-bye! Thank you to all of you who have commented on blogs, liked them, sent me messages on Instagram and Twitter, it feels like I have my own little support group when I’m struggling. So now, onwards and upwards, I’m halfway through submission and come the 3rd May it will all be done!

Death by Dissertation??

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At least once a week I’m faced with a crippling fear and enormous self doubt as the result of trying to work on my dissertation. For someone who’s not done a dissertation before, they may think I’m being dramatic, it’s not that hard, right? Wrong. I honestly thought I was so behind but after meeting up with some fellow third years to work on a group project that they also feel as stressed and confused as I am.

My dissertation, something I so looked forward to, had turned into the bane of my existence. I’m now on my  3rd draft and have so much more to do, before it’s finished next month. I’ll have whole days where I’m like ‘yeah let’s get this done’ and then mornings like today where I just want to sit and cry in my duvet and contemplating printing my dissertation and then setting fire to it, obviously that won’t help but in my sleep deprived state it’s entertaining.

I never thought I’d be this stressed or worked up about a project I’d chosen to do. The last haul is definitely the hardest but I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve been working on the parts I love for a long time and now it’s come to editing and reading more critical theory (ENOUGH ALREADY!). I just keep chanting, one more month, one more month.

It’s weird because I love academics normally, I love to write. Hell, you guys are stuck with my notifications every day! I’m just excited to be done with these and finally start my book and have all my passion and energy do into fiction rather than quotes on Marxist Feminism and the role of women in the 1950s.

For any of you also tackling your dissertations, good luck! For those of you who have completed one, what do you suggest to celebrate when I finally finish!

Sunday Seven – This weeks Favourites (14th -20th March)

It’s that time of the week again (although I don’t quite know how the week went so fast!) for me to write my Sunday Seven post. I’ve had a busy but not very picture worthy week this week so I’ve had to add in a picture of the wonderful Sylvia Plath at the end that is obviously not my picture, the rest are though! Enjoy my favourites of this week!

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  1. Star Wars Trainers (!!) 

Now, I already got some amazing slip on Stormtrooper shoes in Primark and didn’t get these and planned to go back and pick these up, by the time I got back they’d sold out! I’d described them to my Mum and if she saw them to pick some up and I’ll pay her back. She found them and this week I’ve been rocking the pink beauties.

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2. The Picture that mindf****d everyone this week

My Mum sent me the picture on the right today, while posting it on Facebook too. My friend commented that she was sure I had a picture like this too, which is the picture on the left. We look alike, we always have but with these side by side people couldn’t believe the likeness. I love looking like my Mum, I think she’s absolutely beautiful but I couldn’t help laughing.

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3. My Dobby Pop arrived! 

The second series of Harry Potter Funko pops have been released and I’m slowly acquiring them. I was a bit iffy about getting Dobby, but he is adorable and looks so cute with my collection.

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4. A Cup of Tea and a Good Book 

I was unexpectedly left with a hour and a half gap before my dyslexia session, in which I was able to grab a huge cup of tea. I’d forgotten how nice it was to get out of the house and just read somewhere else, without being interrupted. A definite, but expected highlight to this week.

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5. The Phonogram Series 

Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie are a dream team. I’ve previously read the 3 volumes of one of their other series’s The Wicked and The Divine and I was hooked. When this came into my local comic book shop I had to pick it up and I absolutely loved it, it’s made my top 10 graphic novels and I’, eagerly reading through the next one. It’s got goddesses, the 90s, Britpop, kick ass women and some amazing music references (and even a reference to Sylvia Plath). What more could  I want from a comic book?!?!

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6. Caitlin Moran’s Moranifesto 

Ah Caitlin Moran, my Feminist hero who made me realise that I actually was a feminist and the idiots around me were just bad examples. This is Moran’s newest book, only coming out recently and it is HUGE. I’m taking time to read it every night and missing sleep because of it. It’s funny but also deals with important issues from her Times column. One day I want to be as cool as Caitlin Moran.

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7. Sylvia Plath Interviews 

I currently have a love hate relationship with my dissertation. I love the topic and I’m passionate about what I’m writing about, but I have to write it and there’s so much to be included and finished in the next 6 weeks. Listening to Plath’s voice in interviews as part of research is definitely one of the better parts of my dissertation.

Buried under assignments

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I’m writing this to you from my ‘desk’ that is covered in note pads, glasses, sticky notes, the occasional book (although most of them are in a pile on the floor next to me) and the hard work vibes I seem to be radiating. I’m writing a short post tonight because as you can guess from the title I’ve been working my butt off for the past few days to finish my assignment.

Because of my recent illness, I’ve been told stress is the worst thing for me right now. I actually laughed at the doctor when they said I need to be less stressed, because let’s face it the final part of third year is not a walk in the park BUT on with positivity. I managed to get to the gym this morning and work off some of the stress before having to go to an ultrasound appointment, which came back CLEAR! Yippie! Between and after I’ve been glued to my desk working on a 6000 word assignment, although the good news is that after writing it on and off since Saturday I am now sitting at 3740 words, so close!

Tomorrow will be for working on my dissertation which isn’t in as good a shape as I thought it was and needs a LOT of work doing to it before submission next week. I’m trying not to get stressed about it and instead working on just getting as much done as I can and taking regular breaks. That said, I currently cannot stand my dissertation, but I’m told this is a normal part of third year. Hopefully I can get at least 2 essays close to being done when I come back from Easter break and then only have 2 others to focus on. Definitely looking forward to 11.01 on the 2nd of May when all my assignments are submitted.

So that’s a little insight into my frazzled mind at the moment and my slightly frazzled life, now excuse me while I finally get to cuddle my hamsters before passing out in bed.

Hello October! – What to expect from chloemetzger.com

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Helllooo my lovelies, we are already into October! I have no idea how September went but I’m really excited for this month. Autumn is my favourite season, it’s just so cute, warm enough and so far London has had blue skies while the leaves are changing ARGH.

I have lots of exciting things planned for this month like

  • My first Horse Riding Society Social
  • First Rides for the newbies
  • Starting my dissertation plan
  • Playing an awesome show for Oxjam charity festival
  • Two concerts to go to and that’s just this week?
  • Comic Con
  • A museum visit
  • London trip
  • Meeting Katie Piper for work!!!

I have so much to do but so much to look forward to as well, I’m really trying to get the most out of my final year with all my friends and having a pretty small timetable.

I’ve also got some great new blogging ideas, as always I’ll be doing this months book haul, some reviews of the new H&M make up range, No People Club news, some more My Big Mouth Posts and as usual you’ll be getting weekly book reviews.

I’m so excited about this month’s blogs and everything to come. As always

Finishing my first week of classes…yes really!

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As of 11am I had finished my first week of classes for this year. I know, crazy right? Being a humanities student is about doing a lot of independent research so while I’m only in class 6 hours a week I’m definitely going to need to use the rest of the week to get my research done and try and get some new ideas together, but this suits me just fine. I get to read and create ideas and if I’m having a low I can just work at whatever time suits me best, if I have a rough night I can sleep later and work into the evening or vice versa. I feel like I’m going to get a lot more done this year when I can set my own times and agenda.

I am really pleased with the way my classes went this week, it’s a lot more interesting and I feel like we’re at a stage where our opinions can really be valued. I’ve worked hard to get to the stage that I’m at with my course and I finally feel like I can let out my excitement and not look like the biggest geek ever because, with dissertation especially, other people are also enthusiastic about their projects.

This is the start of, hopefully, a long road of independent research, there are even less classes when you take part in a Masters degree and then PhD classes are usually research based rather than taught. It’s a big thing to undertake but right now it’s one of the only things on my mind. Of course I’d love to be a musician and tour the world but equally I know that might not happen because a big part of it is being in the right place at the right time.

I’ll admit that I am a little nervous about having lows, partly because for 4 days of the week there is nothing to force me to go outside, but partly because I’ve lost my ways of exercising. It is hard having mental health issues and studying sometimes, you can feel really isolated, especially around deadlines as well as extra pressures but I’m hoping that not being in class all the time means I can just sit and focus as well as trying to meet up with friends from other courses/play shows/ write/draw if I am getting a little too stressed.

All in all I’m pretty pleased with how this week has gone, I have a tonne of reading to do in the next few days but I can’t wait to go back to class on Monday morning!

Time to start my Dissertation!

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The moment has finally arrived, I’m starting my dissertation and like the true geek I am I couldn’t be more excited! A lot of people are interested but confused about why I’m going to look at Sylvia Plath and why I like reading her work so much. Sylvia’s work is not sunshine and flowers, yes it is dark but there is also such a poignant beauty to it.

Now I’m not one of those people who thinks that we should glamourise Sylvia and her struggles with mental health, it’s not something she romanticises. I think it’s one of the reasons that I fell in love with her novel The Bell Jar I could understand how the character of Esther felt, how by extension Sylvia felt (the novel is heavily autobiographical) because it is incredibly honest and truthful. If you didn’t know, unfortunately Sylvia took her life at the age of 30.

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I think there’s just a lot I can relate to in Plath’s writing, like the quote above. There’s a lot of confusion in her work and just trying to work out who you are and how you fit in the world. Which leads me on to what I’m going to be studying (assuming it gets approved). I want to look at female identity in the works of Sylvia Plath, specifically the role of the ‘traditional’ female. I just feel like when I’m reading her work there’s this huge anxiety with who she should be and how she should act as a woman and it’s something I relate to, so that’s what I’m going to write 10,000 words on. Simple, right?

I’m really excited to get started, research and kind of start what might be a career for me, the start of my academic life. Yes, I sound like a total nerd. Of course I am really nervous too, it’s big piece of writing and there’s a lot of independence to get used to but it’s going to be great sharing this journey with you!