Tag: blog

2017 on chloemetzger.com!

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A new year and more blogs to write and plan for you all to read. I really had trouble tonight thinking of what I wanted to write, what direction I wanted to go. A few nights ago I asked those of you who follow me on twitter (@chloemetzger) who you would like to see more of on my blog and if you’d like me to write two book reviews a week (!!). The majority of you did want two book reviews a week, which is something I’m working on doing in this years planning. In terms of what you’d like to see you asked for more mental health related posts and more general lifestyle posts. I am more than happy to give the people what they want!

So far I post Book Reviews on a Thursday, Feminist Friday’s and Sunday Seven. Three regular slots that my lovely subscribers and Twitter followers know are coming. After hearing back from some of you I’m also hoping to add a weekly mental health post and more general lifestyle in between. Basically, I want to get a more regular schedule together for the blog and make 2017 really productive and positive year for the blog.

I’m really proud of how it’s evolved and how many of you that I get to talk to and interact with online. It’s because of all of this and the positivity I have felt from you guys I’m taking active steps to write my book. Yep, I’m not calling it a resolution for this year because I know that it could take years before I’m happy with it and I also know that there’s a chance it will never get published, but what the hell.  This blogs in its fourth year now and I know I can write long pieces from my dreaded dissertation, so why not?

Is there anything else you want to see or maybe that you’re excited about? Let me know in the comments below or tweet me!

Get to know me a little better – 25 Questions

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Seeing as I’ve been lucky enough to get quite a few new subscribers and followers (hello, hello, hello lovely people!) I wanted to let you all get to know me a little better. I found this over on Megan’s blog and thought I would give it a go!

1. What is your middle name?: Francesca, after my aunt.

2. What was favorite subject at school?: Drama and English were my favourites. Anything artistic actually.

3. What is your favorite drink?: Tea, nothing’s better than a good cuppa.

4. What is your favorite song at the moment?: I don’t really have one, I’ve been listening to a lot of Melanie Martinez.

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5. What is your favorite food?: Chocolaaaaaaaaattttttteeeeee.

6. What is the last thing you bought?: Some readymeals for work this week because I didn’t have time for a big shop. 

7. Favorite book of all time?: Hmm, that’s a really hard question. I’d probably go with Order of the Phoenix off the top of my head.

8. Favorite Color?: A nice turquoise will always be lovely.

9. Do you have any pets?: Hamski 🙂

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10. Favorite Perfume?: Fantasy by Britney Spears.

11. Favorite Holiday?: Florida!

12. Are you married?: Nope but I hope to be in the next 5 years.

13. Have you ever been out of the country, if so how many times?: So many times I can’t even remember.

14. Do you speak any other language?: Nope, I have tried but not been successful.

15. How many siblings do you have?: Just the one little sister

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16. What is your favorite shop?: Waterstones

17. Favorite restaurant?: Cosy Italians

18. When was the last time you cried?: A few days ago about missing Noodle.

19. Favorite Blog?: I can’t choose just one!

20. Favorite Movie?: Love Actually

21. Favorite TV shows?: Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Friends. Just American comedy in general.

22. PC or Mac?: Mac

23. What phone do you have?: iPhone.

24. How tall are you?: 5’0

25. Can you cook?: I can bake but I’m not a good cook at all, I leave that to Ali.

Remember to tag me in your replies below, I’d love to read them!

Sunday Seven: Things To Look Forward To In 2017

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Happy New Year!!!

Hello, lovely, lovely people and welcome to 2017! We’re almost a day in and I wanted to share with you some things I’m looking forward to in 2017. Now I’ve said before and I’ll say it again I don’t believe in new years resolutions, nope, nope, nope. I want to spend the whole year setting goals and I know for a fact that I find it harder in the dark winter months to be happy and motivated. So, instead, I focus on things to look forward to! So, here are 7 things I’m looking forward to.

A New Home 

This year at some point Ali and I will move into a new home. It means so much to us and we’re really excited!

Getting Stuck Into Work 

I can’t wait to get even more stuck in with my job, it’s a really exciting time for me. I’m in a company I love and a job I really enjoy, I can’t wait to see what this year brings.

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Carrying On With Spine Recovery 

In the next 8 weeks I should have an appointment for my spinal injections. While I’m absolutely terrified I’m also excited because it’s another chance at relieving the spinal pain I’ve been living with for the past 20 months!

Going on Holiday! 

Ali and I will finally be getting a relaxing break together later in the year, a week in sunny Spain. We haven’t had a relaxing holiday in years so it’ll be a nice time to chill out and spend some time together.

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Improving My Blog 

I’m really focused on my blog and this year I can really focus on it without university work taking up each and every evening. I have some great ideas and plans so keep an eye out!

Celebrating 9 Years 

Yes! The boyfriend and I celebrate 9 years together this year, which is crazy. I’m so lucky to have my best friend by my side every day.

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Caring For Myself 

I bought so much stuff from Lush in the sales, meaning I have a lot of bath products for relaxation purposes. I’m really bad at relaxing, I’m always doing something so I need to work on that but this year I can make that time for myself.

What are you looking forward to? Let me know in the comments below!

Mental Health and Christmas

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It’s now less than two weeks until Christmas (how it’s gone that fast I have no idea) and lights are twinkling, presents are being wrapped and there’s excitement everywhere, right? When you’re living with a mental illness you don’t get a Christmas break, I wish you did. While there is no doubt there is a little more joy around Christmas time, it can also bring new pressures and strains for those who have a mental illness, things that are easy to overlook.

On Saturday I attended my first work Christmas Party. While in the car on the way to the venue I realised something, I hadn’t had a panic attack over the event, which was incredible. I’ve been plagued by panic and anxiety attacks for years, having them before any kind of night out became the norm, not having one yesterday was a huge step for me. That said it wasn’t without a feeling of anxiety throughout the evening. Big events with a lot of people are incredibly overwhelming and slightly exhausting, my anxiety peaks and I feel a little lost. Luckily Ali was with me, he knows when I need a little space from an event and we still managed to have a lovely time with my work colleagues.

Christmas can be a really hard time of year. There’s an immense pressure to be happy, upbeat and joyful but it’s a hard time of year to do that. I leave for work before the sun rises, I leave after it sets which means it can be really hard without the natural depression booster (the sun is really important in regards to managing depression). On top of that it’s a really busy time of year full of seeing people so I can quite easily become tired and overwhelmed, two things which can easily make me fall into a low.  There’s also a dollop of guilt in the mix because you’re meant to be happy at Christmas time? It’s meant to be happy and relaxing and lovely right?

It’s hard when you don’t feel that way, when your illness takes over and you just don’t feel happy. When you cry for no reason and just can’t see the excitement. I’ve lived that. I was 16 and in the worse stage of my depression I just kept crying, my Mum got upset, I got upset. I couldn’t get any sense of happiness, it was just a desperate numbness and helplessness. I didn’t know how not to sit and cry. That was honestly one of the worst points in my life. There’s a pain in wanting so desperately  to be happy but your mind refuses to let you.

It’s for this reason I look upon Christmas so fondly and any year that I feel well enough I get so excited. I genuinely feel lucky to have some happiness, because it isn’t guaranteed with this illness. As I’m writing this I am tired and a little overwhelmed but managing enough that I’m looking forward to Christmas. I know some of you might not feel that way though and I wanted to let you know that it’s ok. It’s ok to struggle or feel like you can’t get into the spirit because mental illness is hard and it doesn’t give you time off. Do what you need to do, feel how you need to feel because it won’t always be like this.

Sunday Seven: Best Things About Autumn

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This week welcomed the first day of Autumn, which I was stupidly excited about. I absolutely love Autumn, it’s my favourite season of the year, because the sun can still be shining but it’s also great to snuggle up with blankets, books and tea. To honor the amazing season finally coming around this weeks Sunday Seven is dedicated to the great things to look forward to in Autumn.

Going back to Jumpers, Scarfs and Hats! Come at me! 

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Although I am prone to losing a hat or a scarf sometimes I absolutely love getting snuggled up and I can wear chunky jumpers to work with some tights and a nice skirt, SO much easier to be comfortable and look good in the Autumn.

Lush’s Halloween and Christmas Ranges Are Out! 

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I’m a HUGE Lush fan, Autumn is my favourite time of year for their products with two new lots of seasonal items. After popping in to get some Pumpkin Bath Bombs yesterday, Abbie and I will be heading back next weekend when their Christmas range hits the shop! I’m also planning a trip to their Oxford Street shop to pick up some exclusives! To see the whole range (which is going to take most of my bank account) go to their website.

Hot Chocolate, Lots and Lots of Hot Chocolate

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Mmmm, mmm, mmm.

Morning Sunshine 

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Crisp air and August Sunshine makes getting up that little bit easier.

Comfort Food 

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Pies, Stews, Cakes, ALL THE FOOD.

Onesie and Fluffy Pyjama Life 

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I’m a huge onesie fan. I have more than I’m going to admit and there’s nothing better than a good pair of Primark chunky PJs on a cold night.

Bonfire Night (UK only) and Halloween  

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In the UK we have Bonfire Night. It’s a night full of Fireworks, Bonfires and Sparklers. I have so many fond memories of being wrapped up in layers and heading to the local War Memorial Park with my family to watch the town fireworks, sadly it’s been cancelled this year due to costs. That said Autumn also brings Halloween! Although this year it’s on a Monday, which means I will be eating sweets and waiting for Trick or Treaters!

What are your favourite things about Autumn? Let me know in the comments below!

Feminist Fridays: Little Girls and Lipstick

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I’m a firm believer that women should do what empowers them and not take any notice of anyone else. For some this means putting on their make up or perhaps a lipstick to go out, to make them feel confident. Hell, I know I’ve put on a splash of lipstick to make me feel more confident than I really am. While I’m not a frequent make up wearer, I understand that others do and respect their choice. Banning make up isn’t going to sole gender inequality in the world. This week, however, I did have a serious think about children and make up.

When I was a little girl I thought my Mum’s red lipstick was the most classy thing ever ( which is probably where my love for a good red lip comes from), but she only did this when we were going out somewhere special. Day to day, while my Mum used make up it wasn’t made out to be a big thing, she could go out without it if she wanted too, and often did. Now she has two daughters, one who has minimal interest in make up (me) and another who can shame some make up artists if she tried (my sister). I thought back to our childhoods and the way make up was presented to us, it was just another thing. Did we want our nails painted like our Mums? Of course we did but that’s all it was, Mum never showed us a desperation or a need for make up.

Now, when I look for presents for my Goddaughter, due to the fact she’ll be a big sister soon, I find myself increasingly frustrated about what is put on the shelves and the child models themselves. Someone on my Facebook shared an image of a toy that was marketed as 5+ but, alarmingly, the little girls on the front appeared to have red lips. There are piles upon piles of ‘toys’ that have nail varnishes, lipgloss etc with Disney Princesses on. I fully understand little girls wanting to be like their Mums and Sisters but at the same time I’m worried that at the age of 3 or 4 little girls are introduced to an idea that playing, for them, is to do with their appearance.

We all know that growing up is not easy, so why are the toy companies cashing in on making little girls grow up even quicker? I know it’s about business, I know it’s about profit but there’s something I find deeply uncomfortable about it. You don’t want a 4 year old thinking that all they can do is play with dolls and lipgloss. I’m a big believer in letting children be children, because they are for such a short time. Women are told to worry about their bodies from all kinds of media for their entire lives, but putting lipstick on a child that’s going to go on a toy box? It’s too far. We need to take back the toy aisles. We need to tell girls it’s ok to want to play with other things, that they can build whatever they like about lego and we need the kids on the boxes to look like happy and healthy kids, not a dressed up version.

Sometimes, when I write these, I just feel an overwhelming sadness. I struggled so much to fit in even at secondary school because the only make up I was interested was eyeliner, and a lot of it. I struggled when girls would be making up dance routines or playing ‘Mums and Dads’, because I was leading an army in the woods with the boys. I’m not saying that I didn’t LOVE body glitter the age of 10 or put on my Mum’s make up like other girls, of course I did at home. The thing is for almost al of my life I’ve felt like make up was just a thing, not the be all and end all. I don’t care if I go on without it, but I worry about what little girls are seeing now. Look at everyone on Youtube doing make up tutorials, the images used on boxes and the pop stars they watch. There’s never a hair out of place and images are photoshopped for perfection. It may only be a little bit of make up on a model but I for one want to give kids as much time to be kids as possible, before they have to deal with growing up.

The 50 Bookish Questions Tag!

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50 Bookish Questions Tag

Hello, hello, hello! I absolutely love tags and want to expand the bookishness of this site, so what better than a bookish tag! I found this over on My Little Book Blog so definitely go and check her out! Now, on with the questions.

1. What was the last book you read?

Baby Doll by Hollie Overton

2. Was it a good one?

So good, incredible for a debut novel.

3. What made it good?

It went deeper than most and made the characters real. It was also interesting to see the captors perspective after their victim escaped.

4. Would you recommend it to other people?

Yes! I text my friend almost immediately after finishing saying she needed to read it.

5. How often do you read?

Every day if I can.

6. Do you like to read?

Nothing better than a good book.

7.What was the last bad book you read?

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – a play in book form.

8. What made you dislike it?

The plot was ridiculous and took away so much from the original series.

9. Do you wish to be a writer?

Yes I’d absolutely love to, working on it!

10. Has any book ever influenced you greatly?

There are so many and each for a different stage of my life.

11. Do you read fan fiction?

I’ve read a few Harry Potter ones but I’ve never really been into it.

12. Do you write fan fiction?

No, personally I don’t see the point, why not create something original.

13. What’s your favorite book?

How do I choose? Probably 19 Minutes by Jodi Picoult I could read that over and over.

14. What’s your least favorite book?

I’m really not sure. Wasn’t a fan of Gone Girl, the twist just pissed me off.

15. Do you prefer physical books or ready on a device (like a kindle)?

Kindle’s are great to travel and get discounted reads but there’s nothing like a good book.

16. When did you learn to read?

When I was really small, I think I could read by the time I was 5.

17. What is your favorite book you had to read in school?

To Kill a Mockingbird, still my favourite classic.

18. What is your favorite book series?

Harry Potter OR The Normal trilogy by Holly Bourne

19. Who is your favorite author?

I don’t have a favourite! I have favourites like J.K Rowling, Jodi Picoult, John Green, Caitlin Moran.

20. What is your favorite genre?

Probably YA, followed by autobiography/biography.

21. Who is your favorite character in a book series?

Hermione Granger.

22. Has a book ever transported you somewhere else?

Often, Game of Thrones is doing that right now.

23.Which book do you wish had a sequel?

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

24. Which book do you wish DIDNT have a sequel?

The Hunger Games – could have been done in one long book and not had THAT ending.

25. How long does it take you to read a book?

Really depends how busy I am and how much I’m enjoying the book. If I’m left alone I can easily do a book a day unless it’s something like GoT, then not so much.

26. Do you like when books become movies?

Definitely depends on how it’s handled, I always get a little nervous though.

27. Which book was ruined by its movie adaptation?

Twilight.

28. Which movie has done a book justice?

The Colour Purple, that was a brilliant movie to match a brilliant book.

29. Do you read newspapers?

If there’s one laying around but normally I read the BBC and the Guardian on my phone

30: Do you read magazines?

Not really, I read The Vagenda and it completely made me rethink what I consumed.

31. Do you prefer newspapers or magazines?

Newspapers but ones that have opinion pieces too, like The Guardian

32. Do you read while in bed?

Of course, who doesn’t?

33. Do you read while on the toilet?

Yes, it used to drive my parents mad :’)

34. Do you read while in the car?

Yep, have done since I was a kid.

35. Do you read while in the bath?

No. I’m not keen on having baths often and even then I’m too worried I’ll drop it in the bath…I’m super clumsy.

36. Are you a fast reader?

Yes.

37. Are you a slow reader?

Nope.

38. Where is your favorite place to read?

Curled up with lots of cushions and a fluffy blanket.

39. Is it hard for you to concentrate while you read?

If I’m into the book and not in a slump I will fall into a book and not resurface for hours.

40.Do you need a room to be silent while you read?

It helps but I don’t need it to be.

41. Who gave you your love for reading?

No one, I just kind of started and didn’t stop.

42. What book is next on your list to read?

Haven’t set a final choice yet, I’ll see how I feel once I’ve finished this one

43. When did you start to read chapter books?

Pretty young with as many Jaqueline Wilson books as I could get my hands on.

44. Who is your favorite children’s book author?

Jacqueline Wilson.

45. Which author would you most want to interview?

Jodi Picoult.

46. Which author do you think you’d be friends with?

Holly Bourne

47.What book have you reread the most?

Probably the Harry Potter series. When I was younger I read it every summer.

48. Which books do you consider “classics”?

The Colour Purple, To Kill a Mockingbird. I’m not keen on a lot of canon stuff.

49. Which books do you think should be taught in every school?

A big mixture! I think that there should be books on wider issues and not just ‘classics’. There are some great novels on mental health for example that young people could relate to instead of being forced to read Dickens or Austen again and again.

50. Which books should be banned from all schools?

I don’t think any book should be banned, they should just be age appropriate.

If any of you guys would like to do this take don’t forget to let me know!

Work and Mental Health

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I’ve now been working for a month a month of huge change for me. Now, I have been anxious about leaving university and joining the ‘real world’ for months. Terrified of the impact it would have on my mental health as well as trying to adjust like a ‘normal person’. I’ve been very open and honest about my mental health online, because I want to share my story and to encourage others. In my interviews to work with Exonar I spoke about the blog, the mental health work and campaigning I’ve done because I’m proud of it. I’ve never hidden it but I don’t about it. I also know that my colleagues occasionally read my blog, they’ve told me which was both nerve wracking and exciting. Luckily I work with wonderful and understanding people, they’re read and don’t treat me any different.

Of course, I’ll always be honest, there have been days in the past month where I’ve worried that I was starting to slip. My anxiety has been kicking in again and the depression will grab me some days and make me really struggle, but I’ve been living with those kinds of days since I was 15 years old and I know that most of the time they pass sooner or later. It doesn’t mean that the lows are nicer to deal with or that the anxiety attacks don’t make me feel like I can’t breathe but I’m doing it, I’m dealing with it the best I can. I got to work, I get stuff done and try and concentrate until it passes. I think the hardest thing is when I’m tired, because I know tiredness is one of the things that makes my depression really hard to deal with, but I’m learning, working and trying to find my feet. The tiredness is something we’re all dealing with, it’s more irritating than not that it makes me more irritable and prone to low mood.

All in all, I’m trying. I know that I have to live with this and with the support of Ali, my family and knowing that I have people I can rely on at work fills me with hope. This illness may never go away but like hell am I going to let it control my life.

 

 

Image from Healthyplace.com

 

 

Book Review: An Abundance of Katherines – John Green

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“How do you just stop being terrified of getting left behind and ending up by yourself forever and not meaning anything to the world?”

It’s a known fact that I think John Green is a genius and I ended up buying and devouring any book of his I pick up. I chose An Abundance of  Katherines as my third John Green novel to read about Paper Towns although this novel isn’t bad I wish I had chosen to pick up the latter.

Colin Singleton is a child prodigy, his mind is incredible and he is expected to do incredible things, that is until he hits a limit and start to wonder if he’ll ever have a ‘eureka’ moment. It doesn’t help that Colin has yet again been dumped by another Katherine, number 19 to be exact. To get away from it all, with the help of friend Hassan the two boys take a road trip after graduation and end up in Gutshot, Tennessee and end up having a very different experience to what they had planned.

While the pair find summer jobs in Gutshot and make friends with the beautiful Lindsey, Colin still has Katherine’s on the brain. He settles down to work on the mathematical likelihood of relationships, starting with Katherine one and working through them to perfect the equation. Although it doesn’t sound amusing it is and doesn’t take up the whole book which I was thoughtful for. What I think this novel is really about is a young guy who’s trying to work himself out through the only way he knows, math.

Although the novel was interesting and again Green has worked his magic at making believable characters and that loveable and slightly annoying nerd at the centre of it all, I wasn’t as hooked as I had been with previous novels. Throughout the novel I really didn’t understand the importance of all the Katherines and felt quite confused by it all! On top of that, to match Colin’s character there are a lot of foot notes with various explanations, comments etc and for me it didn’t help. I like getting lost in a novel and I just felt that the footnotes took away from that and made me think about them too much. Although that said I know people who found that to be the best part of the novel, so it really is down to personal preference.

I want to give An Abundance of Katherines 3 stars. I did like it but it’s not my favourite John Green novel. As with Green’s other novels you can’t help but feel as if you are friends with the characters and have your own hopes for them. I would have liked to have known more about genius Colin and what Lindsey did next but that’s not what this novel was about. From my experience of reading it I felt like it was about having that time before a big change to figure yourself out, as usual Green has been fantastic in getting into the teenage mind.