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How we can use International Mens day to spread awareness

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What do you think the biggest killer of men under 45 is? Road Accidents? Cancer? Addiction? Any of these are possible but the result may shock you, it’s suicide. Thousands of men every day will attempt to take their own lives and unfortunately a lot will succeed.

A lot people would have seen the title and gone what in the name of hell is she talking about? International men’s day? What kind of feminist is she? The answer isthe one who contributes to equality and the rate of male suicide is something that needs to be tackled by both genders together, because that is how we will save people. Men are under a lot of pressure, there is a pressure to get a six pack and love the gym, a pressure to be masculine, worries if you are not straight and how other men will react (especially for teenage boys), pressure to be a breadwinner for your family. Society puts a lot of pressure on men and it’s no wonder that a lot of them feel overwhelmed!

When searching for an image those associated with depression were almost all women. I searched for a long time to find an image of a man. We refuse to acknowledge that men, half of the population, are not immune from mental health. This comes with the stupid notion that mental illness is associated with the weak (ha!). As a society we need to accept that firstly, mental illness is not a weakness, it is an illness and secondly men need just as much support.

I have a lot of male friends who have different conditions and the statistics both scare me and make me angry. I’m scared because I don’t want any of my friends to find it too much and kill themselves. I’m angry because for something that’s the biggest killer of young men there isn’t a lot that’s being done about it.

We can help them though, we can keep talking, keep reaching out. The way to beat this stigma and save the men in our lives is to be open and honest, I cannot stress enough have important talking is in all of this. You never know how much just talking to someone will could save a life.

If anyone reading this is suicidal and don’t feel they can call someone they are close to there are numbers you can call or please seek urgent medical advice. Remember you are worth it, you really are.

  • Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.
  • Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won’t show up on your phone bill.
  • PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.
  • Depression Alliance is a charity for people with depression. It doesn’t have a helpline, but offers a wide range of useful resources and links to other relevant information.
  • Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.
  • Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.

 

 

 

image from imagesofnation.com

Isn’t Inside Out incredible?!

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Tonight I finally caught up (you know, 4 months late) with the phenomenal Inside Out. I’ve had friends raving about it for months but I had really limited money over the summer so a trip to the cinema was out of the question. I absolutely love this movie, it’s absolutely fantastic and all the characters are just brilliantly written, I don’t know anyone would couldn’t relate to at least one of them.

For me I feel like there is a big battle between the Sadness and Joy in my head, especially when I’m stressed, oh and you know Anger and Disgust are best buds for me. Fear is around too. Now I bet you’re reading this and thinking she’s lost it, she’s finally lost it. While I don’t think there are little people in my brain controlling what I think, say and do, I’ve never seeing something that I just got so much. It’s a really sweet film and great for kids to learn and understand…although I’d definitely love to see a sequel when she’s a teenager. Because you know then all the emotions would just freak out and everyone who’s been through it would just nod along and remember the emotional freak out.

It might be a strange thing to write about but I have so much love for this movie and wish I’d seen it sooner. It was just what I needed after a slightly stressful evening 🙂

Hello October! – What to expect from chloemetzger.com

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Helllooo my lovelies, we are already into October! I have no idea how September went but I’m really excited for this month. Autumn is my favourite season, it’s just so cute, warm enough and so far London has had blue skies while the leaves are changing ARGH.

I have lots of exciting things planned for this month like

  • My first Horse Riding Society Social
  • First Rides for the newbies
  • Starting my dissertation plan
  • Playing an awesome show for Oxjam charity festival
  • Two concerts to go to and that’s just this week?
  • Comic Con
  • A museum visit
  • London trip
  • Meeting Katie Piper for work!!!

I have so much to do but so much to look forward to as well, I’m really trying to get the most out of my final year with all my friends and having a pretty small timetable.

I’ve also got some great new blogging ideas, as always I’ll be doing this months book haul, some reviews of the new H&M make up range, No People Club news, some more My Big Mouth Posts and as usual you’ll be getting weekly book reviews.

I’m so excited about this month’s blogs and everything to come. As always

Book Review: Paper Weight – Meg Haston

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Twenty-seven days to freedom… I am caged 

Stevie wants to disappear and in twenty-seven days that’s exactly what she’s going to do, whether they like it or not. Sent to a treatment centre for eating disorders Stevie knows they’ve got it all wrong, she doesn’t need to be here, she doesn’t want to he and she’s going to get out of here one way or another. Abandoned by her best friend, her mother and not coping with the death of her brother, Stevie has no alternatives she’s going to get back to her brother.

Haston’s novel is quite simply, brilliant. Seeing the world through the eyes of seventeen year old Stevie is heart breaking. I’m going to be honest and say that the novel is challenging to read, it deals with a lot of issues, grief, anger and living with an eating disorder. The anger that Stevie radiates is made easy to understand under the circumstances but all I wanted through the whole novel was to reach through the pages and comfort her. There are important lessons to be learnt while reading Paperweight. 

The story in no way glamourises eating disorders, it shows the reasons and the misery that they can bring and celebrates the girls around Stevie who are moving forward, even though she resents them. Haston has also made the girls normal and explores the different reasons why eating disorders develop, it has obviously been well researched. Like any novel of this nature it can be hard for people to read who have gone through eating disorders or problems with food.

One of my favourite parts of the novel is the relationship between Stevie and her therapist, whom she calls Shrink. The therapist felt like a real person and I felt she was an honest character and represented what a good therapist should be, even if Stevie isn’t keen on opening up. Stevie’s relationships with others throughout the novel are also a real eye opener and although I’ve not had an eating disorder, as someone who has had depression I found her reactions to be realistic.

The only negative that I have to say about the novel is that in the beginning I found it hard to keep track of who’s who as a lot of characters are introduced quite quickly. That said I think the novel is a good length and doesn’t dwell too much, it moves at a good pace but allows enough time for the reader to appreciate Stevie’s thoughts and feelings.

I’m giving this novel 4 stars ****, a great new YA read. The character of Stevie is a little unapproachable at first but this story really picks up and teaches you about the range of people and emotions that are related to eating disorders.

Review by Chloe Metzger

Time to start my Dissertation!

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The moment has finally arrived, I’m starting my dissertation and like the true geek I am I couldn’t be more excited! A lot of people are interested but confused about why I’m going to look at Sylvia Plath and why I like reading her work so much. Sylvia’s work is not sunshine and flowers, yes it is dark but there is also such a poignant beauty to it.

Now I’m not one of those people who thinks that we should glamourise Sylvia and her struggles with mental health, it’s not something she romanticises. I think it’s one of the reasons that I fell in love with her novel The Bell Jar I could understand how the character of Esther felt, how by extension Sylvia felt (the novel is heavily autobiographical) because it is incredibly honest and truthful. If you didn’t know, unfortunately Sylvia took her life at the age of 30.

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I think there’s just a lot I can relate to in Plath’s writing, like the quote above. There’s a lot of confusion in her work and just trying to work out who you are and how you fit in the world. Which leads me on to what I’m going to be studying (assuming it gets approved). I want to look at female identity in the works of Sylvia Plath, specifically the role of the ‘traditional’ female. I just feel like when I’m reading her work there’s this huge anxiety with who she should be and how she should act as a woman and it’s something I relate to, so that’s what I’m going to write 10,000 words on. Simple, right?

I’m really excited to get started, research and kind of start what might be a career for me, the start of my academic life. Yes, I sound like a total nerd. Of course I am really nervous too, it’s big piece of writing and there’s a lot of independence to get used to but it’s going to be great sharing this journey with you!

Fresher’s week 2015

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After last weeks celebrations for birthday week, I am surprised I’m still awake after my second week of activities and shenanigans. This week was Fresher week and although I haven’t been out pounding the dance floor I have been pretty busy and, well, I definitely feel like a first year. I spent my first Freshers week being incredibly awkward and nervous and I spent a lot of time in my room, my second Freshers week I went out with my friends, signed up for societies and partied…for my third, I was actually having to be a responsible person.

I spent Monday in physio and working, Tuesday practicing with the boys and taking the Amp for emergency repair (not an ideal situation), Wednesday working with the newbies and taking them to enrollment, Thursday at Freshers fair and then straight to a show at the Fighting Cocks (quite possibly the best crowd I’ve ever played to, shouting, dancing, clapping and an encore!) and back to the fair again on Friday where we got over 100 sign ups for the Horse Riding Society! Get in!

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I’d be lying if I said that everything was completely easy this week. I’ve struggled a lot with both my spine and my anxiety. I’ve got a love hate relationship with Freshers, I love that it’s the beginning of the year and I’m excited to get stuck in, but at the same time I get so anxious with so many people around and everything going on all at once. I’ve met other people like that too, which makes me feel a little better. I’m also freaking out a little out third year, all the work I have to do, the thought of applying for my MA and funding and not knowing what’s going to happen once I graduate. It was also more than a little bittersweet not having Eleanor, Maisha and Alissa around this year to hang out with too.

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Overall, it’s been a good week, definitely challenging but I’m pleased with what I’ve achieved. Am I ready to go back? Yes. I can’t wait to get back into lectures and have something to get stuck into again. I know this years going to be a bit hard because of my spine and I’ll have to miss out on some things that I wanted to do, but maybe I’ll get to do something I hadn’t planned on. I have some great things this year, I love my job, I love my friends, my bands FINALLY getting somewhere, I have two lovely little hammies and the best guy around at my side. I think this year’s going to be a pretty good one.

Book Review: Beautiful Music for Ugly Children – Kirstin Cronn-Mills

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‘This is Beautiful Music for Ugly Children, on community radio 90.3, KZUK. 

I’m Gabe. Welcome to my show.’ 

Gabe is not your typical teenage boy, his best friend is a girl,

when he’s not hanging out with her he’s at his neighbours house listening to original LPs and learning the radio tricks of the trade from an old man. Oh and Gabe was born Elizabeth, which I wouldn’t mention apart from it plays a big part in the story. Like many of us Gabe finds a love in music that can rival no other, well apart from a certain someone, but I’ll leave you to get to that yourself.

The intriguing name and bright cover is what initially drew me to this book, but I got so much more. Not only do you get a wealth of music knowledge from reading this novel but you also get a character to fall in love with, I felt so much for Gabe and almost cried at points while reading. Gabe describes himself as being ‘like a record’ he has an A side and a B side, one side is Elizabeth which is who everyone else considers him to be and the B side is Gabe, who he is truly happy to be. While the world is fighting for him to be Elizabeth, there’s a another crowd who is more than happy to have Gabe around. Gabe’s saving grace comes through a radio show that he hosts, Beautiful Music for Ugly Children. 

It was really refreshing in this novel to have both sides of what being Transgender means. While some people are not supportive and as the blurb says think Gabe is ‘crazy’ there are also many people who couldn’t care less about Gabe’s transition and just see him as a great DJ. I don’t know about you but those are the kinds of people I’d rather be around. Cronn-Mills has done a great job in exploring a sensitive topic and trying to go down many avenues.

I think the real gold lies with the A-Side, B-Side idea within the novel. Cronn-Mills has found a way to connect everyone with Gabe, even if they aren’t going through transition. It’s the idea that everyone has two sides to them  one they want to show to the world and one the world sees. This is the beauty of Beautiful Music for Ugly Children with just a voice on a radio station everyone is the same and I really wish life was like that. I also adored the characters of Paige and John. They’re completely different but their support for Gabe is incredible.

I’m going to give this novel 5 stars *****, it’s absolutely incredible. Gabe is an incredible character that I dare you not to love. I also appreciated that Gabe and the people around him were flawed in different ways, it made the story a lot more believable and realistic to me as a reader. I’m really looking forward to reading some of Cronn – Mills other works as she really does have a talent in creating her characters.

Review by Chloe Metzger

Did I look that young? I must really be a third year

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On the left is a picture of me just before I started my first year, my hair was short and I was both excited and terrified. On the right is a picture I took this morning while I was waiting to collect first years to take to enrolment, I’ll admit my hair has a little more frizz now than that carefully straightened bob from first year rather than being thrown up in a bun in the morning. Now, from the minute I got on the bus this morning I’ve been able to spot Freshers, is it because I feel crazy old? No it’s more because I remember being them.

I see them all wondering around trying not to look lost, carrying pieces of crumpled paper with their timetables on and being very well dressed. I think we all started like that, nervous, excited and a little confused at times but I couldn’t help thinking did I look that young when I started? Looking back at some pictures and reminiscing I know that I did and it still feels strange knowing that now I’m in my final year of my undergraduate degree, that I’ll graduate next year *gulp*.

I think the main difference is that I’m not that girl that burst into tears at least 3 times in the first week because she was so overwhelmed. I read the first year of blogs I wrote as a student and as well as being pleased my writing has improved, I don’t regret the struggles I had. I mean, yes I kind of wish I could go back and tell her to take a deep breath because she’s going to love it and this time it really will be the best time, but who wouldn’t? It’s no secret that I don’t want to leave, I want to make a life for myself in academics if I can’t go touring the world in one way or another.

So maybe I’m classed as old to the newbies but you know what I’ve been having the best time of my life and if anyone is reading this and they’ve just started university then hold on, you’re in for a fantastic ride.

Milestones

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I’ve been thinking lately about milestones. I don’t know what it was exactly but I’m guessing it’s a combination of turning 21 (which I don’t understand why it’s a big deal in the UK), seeing more and more of the people I went to school with having children and getting engaged and a lot of my other friends graduating, starting careers and all that jazz. To put it simply milestones freak me out, I’m sure they do for most people. You’re supposed to do this, do that at a certain age, a certain time. For girls there’s a choice between being a mother and being a career woman, because we’re told we can’t have it all.

In some ways I’m lucky, I found the love of my life when I was 13 years old and we live together. Now we’re more than happy together, we’re both doing degrees we love and have careers that we want, but for everyone else it’s not enough. Everyone asks me when we’ll get married, when we’ll have a baby (never if). I just feel a bit stuck and part of that is because I am a woman. Ali NEVER gets asked when he’ll be a father, he’s asked about his job and what he’s going to do for work, it’s all pretty frustrating. I know that I’m an intelligent woman and I have big aspirations, so why do people ask about these ‘traditional’ things.

I’m in no way saying that people my age shouldn’t be married or have children, most of the women in my family had babies by the time they were my age and they’ve all taught me so much. My best friend became a mother at 17 and she’s one of the most awesome ones I know.The thing is my dream right now is walking across that stage to pick up my degree, being able to treat myself with money I’ve earnt and being happy. I will have children, I’d love to be a mum at some point but I wish people would understand there is so much more to me than the fact I can grow a human. I liked this picture below, it definitely made me smile.

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This isn’t an anti-children post, which is how some will read it, it’s just a frustration that sometimes I’m judged by these milestones when I have other amazing things going on. I hate that I have to think about body clocks and all that crap when I’m trying to plan things out about where I want to be in my life, because I’ve been bombarded with media listing risks and problems. Like I said why am I even thinking about this as a twenty year old!

I appreciate that this post might not make much sense, I don’t even know if it does to me, but I can’t be the only one who feels like this. Who knows how I’ll feel in a month, a year or ten but I just want it to be on my own terms, not because of supposed milestones and other people’s ideas of what happiness is.

Book Review: We Are Completely Beside Ourselves – Karen Joy Fowler

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‘In most families, there is a favourite child…I was our mother’s favourite child’

The story follows Rosemary throughout her life, although on her father’s advice it’s best to start with the middle of the story, and so she does. In the middle of the story it’s 1996 and Rosemary is in college, it’s been years since her sister Fern disappeared completely and she’s done her best to make sure no one even finds out she existed. Fern is not spoken about at home, no pictures hang on the wall, but Rosemary is haunted by the sister she just can’t forget and after being given her mother’s journals she is reminded that she can never really escape her past.

I was looking forward to reading this one because it had a lot of hype surrounding it. The quotes on the front were saying how ‘irresistible’ it was and that the twist was the ‘best in years’. Now I’m a sucker for a good twist and I won’t say that it’s a bad one,it’s just not great. The twist takes over the whole novel, meaning that not only is it hard to review but it’s also kind of boring. There is also the issue of how the novel weaves in and out of different times, at points it’s hard to remember what point of the story it is and where the characters are at this point.

There does seem to be an underlying ethical issue which kind of takes over the entire book, it’s an interesting argument and I definitely think twice about my shopping habits as a result of reading it, but it gets a little boring after a while. While I agree with the idea that is being put across, I also got bored of this ethical issue being shoved in my face constantly while I was trying to read and get involved with the characters.

I don’t know if it’s intentional but Fowler has made a lot of the characters distant and unloveable. From the beginning there was something I didn’t like about the family dynamic and something I really didn’t trust about Rosemary. The descriptions of her father went from one extreme to the other at one point he is a kind and caring man, the other he’s very strange and easy to hate. I felt like I couldn’t relate to any of the characters that much, which is upsetting because they were well written.

I’ve given this three stars ***, although it wasn’t badly written the ‘twists and turns’ were all just very underwhelming. At times it felt like the novel was building to something fantastic only to be let down, it seemed to me that by the end of the novel Fowler has just run out of steam and come up with a safe ending, which was quite boring to me. I don’t think this was a book for me but I know other people who I think would enjoy it, it’s possibly because when I read the word ‘twist’ I think it’s going to be earth shattering, which unfortunately this twist was not.