Book Review: Room – Emma Donoghue

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“Scared is what you’re feeling. Brave is what you’re doing.”

Five year old Jack lives with his mother in ‘Room’, they play there, sleep there and learn there. Jack has never known the outside but his mother plans to make sure that he does soon. After being kidnapped Jack’s mother, simply named ‘Ma’, was imprisoned by her captor and rapist, she becomes pregnant with his child, which is is forced to bring up in the small room. For the first five years of his life, Jack has no idea that there is an outside, thinking that the TV is magical and there is nothing else. Until one day Ma makes a plan to escape, but she needs Jack’s help.

Copies of Room are everywhere right now, after Brie Larson’s oscar win, the film of Room has become a phenomenon. As with many great films though, a beautifully written novel is behind it. I read Donoghue’s novel a few years ago after it was recommended by a friend, I was absolutely blown away by it. The novel is an emotional read, there is no way around it but it also captures a world that hasn’t been considered before, the life of a child raised in captivity. The entire novel is seen through Jack’s eyes, as he tries to understand first that there is a world outside of the four walls he knows and then he has to try and navigate that world.

After their escape, which I read in a blur because I was so worried for little Jack through the whole part of the novel, both Jack and Ma need to adjust to a new world that they don’t know. Although we only see Jack’s perspective, Donoghue has also captured the effect that it has on Ma, after being away for so long. I think it’s more devastating because it is being seen through the eyes of her son, the only person she’s had in her life for years, as she tried to come to terms with what has happened to her and what will happen next. Donoghue is honest in the rehabilitation of these women and the hardships they face trying to go back into a society that has changed so much since they were last a part of it.

The plot mirrors some of the experiences of the big cases that have come out in the media where young women were imprisoned and gave birth to the children of their captors, although little is known of those children. The fact that Donoghue has gone from this angle is not only incredible in its own right, but even more so because she appears to have done such a good job of trying to imagine what must go through these children’s minds. There is also the issue of how these children are received, while Ma clearly loves her son deeply and does not associate him with her captor, it is understandable that others may struggle with the child being ‘the child of the captor’ as well as the victim. All of these subjects are dealt with in a respectful way and appear to have had a lot of research.

Of course I gave this book 5 stars *****. Donoghue is a truly magnificent writer with an inspiring talent. The way that the story is told is absolutely phenomenal, not only do Jack and Ma come to life, we really care for them and their recovery. I would definitely recommend reading the book before seeing the film, because no matter how many awards it has won, it wouldn’t have been possible without Donoghue’s magnificent storytelling.

Chloe Metzger

March Loot Crate Unboxing and Review

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 After Royal Mail finally delivered my parcel, not cool to say I didn’t answer the door guys, I got this months Loot Crate. This month’s theme is Vs, I’d already been told there would be something Harley Quinn and something Daredevil related so I was quite looking forward to picking up this month’s box. Now let’s see what’s inside….

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Star Trek T-Shirt

For our first item let’s take a look at this month’s t-shirt. Apparently, every Loot Crate from now on will have a t-shirt in it, which is really appealing to me, because I know there will be at least 1 good quality item in the box every month. This month it was a Star Track shirt, referencing mirror mirror. I’ll hold my hand up and say that I’ve only seen the new movies in the Star Trek world (I’m more of a Star Wars girl myself) but, I think Spock is a great character. I also love the design with a vintage feel and it fits really well too. I’m also planning to go and watch this now to see what everyone is talking about.

 

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Alien Vs Predator mystery bag

I’m not a fan of sci-fi/horror combinations. In fact anything involving horror I’m not keen on watching, but my boyfriend really liked this. Anything I’m not keen on and he is, I give to him. I will say this is also an exclusive (a lot more of these lately), you get one of two and then there are a load more you can also collect. The actual figure itself is good quality, stands up on its own and glows in the dark. Overall, not my thing but I am impressed with its quiality.

 

 

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Daredevil/Punisher Reversible hat

I’ll admit now that when it comes to Daredevil I am late to the party. I plan to have a binge watch over Easter Weekend if possible. Even as someone who hasn’t watched Daredevil yet I love this hat. Not only is it reversible but it’s also a lovely hat. It’s really thick, warm and cosy and I can see the boyfriend and I fighting over it. I hope I love Daredevil, because I really want to wear this hat.

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Batman Vs Superman super strength paper wallet

Loot Crate have worked with these guys before in a previous box (before I was collecting) and I remember not being too impressed. They’re a nice design, saves the environment and apparently can take quite a beating, but I’m just not keen on them. I’d rather have something a little more sturdy and durable.

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Harley Quinn Exclusive Comic Book

Another exclusive! I absolutely love Harley Quinn, she’s smart and crazy. You might call her my evil role model because if I ever go over to the dark side, I’ll become like Harley. I read and absolutely loved this, the cover is fantastic, the story is fun and I’m hoping this might mean Harley’s series will make a comeback. For me this was 100% the best thing about this months crate.

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Lootcrate pin.

And as usual our Loot Crate pin, not something I’m particularly excited about BUT I love the fact they’re proper pins now!.

Overall the standard of the Loot Crate has gone up (unlike the crappy soap in the Dead box last month). I’m really impressed with what’s in my box, I think the biggest let down was the wallet and the biggest thing to impress me was the Harley exclusive. After this month I’m definitely keeping my subscription going and hopefully this standard will continue.

Let me know if you’d like to see more unboxing blogs and what I should try next!

World Poetry Day – Sylvia Plath

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If you didn’t already know, today is World Poetry Day, so it seemed fitting to talk about a huge influence in my literary life. I’ve mentioned before that I’m writing about Plath’s work for my dissertation, but there’s something a lot more personal about her work that gets to me. I read The Bell Jar (one of my favourite novels ever) between the summer of first and second year and I just felt understood. The character of Esther just spoke to me and now, as a third year trying to work out what the hell I want to do with my life, it resonates even more. She also explains mental illness in a way that is just so true to me, to my experience. At the time she was writing that was incredibly brave and I’m incredibly sad that she never saw the extent of her popularity, she killed herself at the age of 30 after many attempts.

In second year I bought the full collection of her poetry, I knew she was the one I wanted to study a year before I had to choose. Everyone has an opinion on her, but not everyone understands what depression can do to creativity. I’ve had it before where I’ll say up and write and write and write because things need to come out of my head. Some of my best songs and angriest poems (that I haven’t shared) have come from an incredibly dark place. People say that Ariel was her greatest collection, and maybe it was but reading the collection was something else entirely. You can see the transition in her writing and she’s not afraid to say have she really feels, even if it’s not popular opinion.

She struggles between wanting to conform and her own thoughts and feelings. I can’t help but see the parallels in my own life, wanting to be a wife and mother but wanting a big career and feeling like that have to choose. Using poetry to get out my emotions and my darkest thoughts. Even in the really bad times I found poetry to help me through, just to get it on it paper. I like the dramatic nature of her readings, how she uses culture and the past. Ultimately though, through her novel and poems I feel like I’m not alone, I’m not the only girl who’s won awards, got scholarships and academic talent but has no clue what she’s doing after.

I have always, and will always, be grateful to Sylvia Plath for making me feel like I’m not alone in how I feel.

Sunday Seven – This weeks Favourites (14th -20th March)

It’s that time of the week again (although I don’t quite know how the week went so fast!) for me to write my Sunday Seven post. I’ve had a busy but not very picture worthy week this week so I’ve had to add in a picture of the wonderful Sylvia Plath at the end that is obviously not my picture, the rest are though! Enjoy my favourites of this week!

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  1. Star Wars Trainers (!!) 

Now, I already got some amazing slip on Stormtrooper shoes in Primark and didn’t get these and planned to go back and pick these up, by the time I got back they’d sold out! I’d described them to my Mum and if she saw them to pick some up and I’ll pay her back. She found them and this week I’ve been rocking the pink beauties.

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2. The Picture that mindf****d everyone this week

My Mum sent me the picture on the right today, while posting it on Facebook too. My friend commented that she was sure I had a picture like this too, which is the picture on the left. We look alike, we always have but with these side by side people couldn’t believe the likeness. I love looking like my Mum, I think she’s absolutely beautiful but I couldn’t help laughing.

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3. My Dobby Pop arrived! 

The second series of Harry Potter Funko pops have been released and I’m slowly acquiring them. I was a bit iffy about getting Dobby, but he is adorable and looks so cute with my collection.

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4. A Cup of Tea and a Good Book 

I was unexpectedly left with a hour and a half gap before my dyslexia session, in which I was able to grab a huge cup of tea. I’d forgotten how nice it was to get out of the house and just read somewhere else, without being interrupted. A definite, but expected highlight to this week.

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5. The Phonogram Series 

Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie are a dream team. I’ve previously read the 3 volumes of one of their other series’s The Wicked and The Divine and I was hooked. When this came into my local comic book shop I had to pick it up and I absolutely loved it, it’s made my top 10 graphic novels and I’, eagerly reading through the next one. It’s got goddesses, the 90s, Britpop, kick ass women and some amazing music references (and even a reference to Sylvia Plath). What more could  I want from a comic book?!?!

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6. Caitlin Moran’s Moranifesto 

Ah Caitlin Moran, my Feminist hero who made me realise that I actually was a feminist and the idiots around me were just bad examples. This is Moran’s newest book, only coming out recently and it is HUGE. I’m taking time to read it every night and missing sleep because of it. It’s funny but also deals with important issues from her Times column. One day I want to be as cool as Caitlin Moran.

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7. Sylvia Plath Interviews 

I currently have a love hate relationship with my dissertation. I love the topic and I’m passionate about what I’m writing about, but I have to write it and there’s so much to be included and finished in the next 6 weeks. Listening to Plath’s voice in interviews as part of research is definitely one of the better parts of my dissertation.

My Top 10 Graphic Novels

For the past year or so I’ve fallen in love with comic books and graphic novels. In particular I like reading about badass women, alongside the classic superheroes like Superman, Captain America and Spiderman. It’s nice to read these books that have the amazing story with the bonus of incredible art. My friend Joe introduces me to so many amazing comic books and I’m in the shop every weekend seeing what’s in my subscription box. Mostly I like to collect trades, which are usually 6 issues of a series in a volume, known to everyone as a graphic novel or a trade for those who collect. I thought I’d share with you 10 trades that I absolutely love at the moment and it was so hard to just try and pick 10!

 

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Captain America: Civil War comes out in cinema’s later this year and so it was only right that I read this beforehand. My friend Lucy got my this for christmas and I really enjoyed seeing all these amazing superheroes as well as the angle of the plot. Now, I don’t know how much of this is going to stay in the film but I’m hoping it’s close because this really was a great book.

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I’m a huge Star Wars fan, watching the trilogy last year changed my life. So when I found out there was going to be a six part mini-series featuring my favourite princess I had to own it. It shows Leia as we all love her, smart, clever and not taking crap from anyone. Ther artwork and storyline was fantastic and I recommend it to all my friends who like Star Wars. I’ve read a few Star Wars based ones and this was definitely my favourite.

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This was the first trade I bought and so far the goriest. Lady Killer is about a 1950s housewife who is also a killer, but when the tables are turned she needs to protect herself. A really different and imaginative story and great artwork, waiting for the next installment is driving me mad.

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I picked this up after browsing. I wanted to read some more Captain America and I was told this was good. It’s written after 9/11 and kind of looks at how Captain America reacts to what has happened and how it affected the everyday people. Really enjoyed it and it was well done especially because of the subject matter was handled.

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This started my obsession with Harley Quinn. I know a lot of people who don’t like this comic and don’t really like Harley as a character but I absolutely loved her. The first one I read so quickly and just admired how Harley came to life, I don’t think it was as well done in the second and I’m get to read the third but I’m definitely a Harley fan for life, whether or not Suicide Squad does a good job with her is yet to be seen.

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The first comic book I bought when I was 11 was of a variant of Spider Girl (different to what she is now) so Joe recommended me Spider Gwen, it was the first time I subscribed to anything. I don’t know what it is about her but I can’t get enough (and she’s getting her own Funko Pop this year!!). It’s set in an alternate universe where Gwen Stacey has Spider Powers and is trying to get over the death of Peter Parker, a great spin on Spider Man.

 

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I’m putting these two together because they have the same Author, whom I absolutely love. These are different series’ but similar in the way they deal with Gods and Godesses mixed in with the real world. The Wicked and The Divine focuses on a group of Gods who are bought back to earth every 90 years, they set the tone and popular culture for the world, but in two years they are dead. Phonogram is a musicians dream, focusing on Britpop in the 90s, Goddesses and mentions brilliant music. Seriously have worship vibes towards Kieron Gillen.

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Codename Baboushka is about a Russian Spy, it’s fairly new at the moment having only just completed its first 6 issues but the first part was brilliantly done and left on an interesting ending. Baboushka isn’t my favourite but I did really enjoy it, hence why it’s here.

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Again Black Magick is just starting out. It’s really hard to explain without someone reading it, not because of spoilers but because it’s so early in that I’m not even 100% sure that I know what’s going on. There is dark magic that is returning that seems to be after Rowan, who’s also a police officer. I think there’s still a lot to be explained but even with the little knowledge I have I’m really keen to keep reading, meaning it’s definitely a keeper.

I hope you enjoyed these and as always I’d love your comments below and any recommendations!

Anxiety and Partying

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The last time I had a night out was for my 21st birthday in September, exactly 6 months ago today. Now it’s not because I’m just a total hermit who hates fun. There are so many reasons I don’t go on nights out. It’s mostly because of my spine as well as the fact that as I’ve grown older I’ve got over the whole ‘let’s get wasted and then feel awful in the morning’ thing, which I was never really into anyway.

I don’t really drink anymore partly because I can’t mix large quantities of alcohol with my pain medication, and I do NOT want to go without that when I’m trying to sleep. The other half is that I’ve learnt from the past that when I’m anxious or depressed I use alcohol in a bad way, I drink and drink and drink until I don’t feel my emotions anyone or the depressant side of alcohol makes me feel worse. A lot of people forget that alcohol is a depressant.

So as well as physically not being able to spend the night standing and dancing in bars, mentally my anxiety makes it really difficult. I’ve had many people tell me I’m ‘letting’ anxiety rule my life, which hurts more than anything. If I let me anxiety rule my life there would be a week or two where I wouldn’t leave my house. Just going about my day, going to work, uni or just popping to the shops can sometimes feel like the biggest mountain.

Tonight, I have been invited to go out with a group of people for a friends birthday. While I know I won’t be going to the club, just going to her house for a get together, being social and around people I don’t know fills me with deep anxiety. The anxiety that panics over what to wear and if I look stupid, if anyone will speak to me or if I’ll do something or say something stupid. The anxiety that takes over my normal brain and runs riot with fictional scenarios. Sounds fun having my brain, right?

I think the worst thing is that for the people I used to go out drinking and dancing with they see a change that isn’t always understood. Normally people think that I don’t want to bother to do anything or that I don’t want to be around them anymore. It’s not the case at all, as I’ve said there are a lot of things I still can’t do, and there are also things I realised about myself in the past year.

I don’t miss drinking to get drunk, I don’t miss paying £7 to get into a packed nightclub and have boys try to grope me and I don’t miss having to come home alone at 1am. I don’t know if this is because I’ve changed or I’ve just let myself be who I am and not care. I like to go out to dinner somewhere fun, get a hot drink with someone , going to the gym to build up my muscles again. I’d rather spend my money on books or pops or going to Comic con. I like to spend my time working on my blog, writing a novel or performing music. Oh and I love to read, books have been a constant companion for me when my spine really tries to hurt me. That isn’t to say I judge anyone who likes to go out, I’ve done it! This is just how I feel about having fun myself now.

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Where all my money goes!

I wanted to write this post not only to get my thoughts on a page (and possibly avoid my dissertation), because I wanted other people to know that it’s ok. I know for a fact there are a lot of people out there who also don’t like clubs and would prefer not to spend their hard earned cash getting hammered because it’s really hard for them. I’ve been there, when my flat felt like the only place I could feel remotely calm and safe and that’s ok. Anxiety and Depression are really shitty illnesses that can make even the simplest of tasks feel impossible.

So wish me luck for my first ‘night out’ without Ali or my Mum in 6 months and here’s to hoping the anxiety stays at bay so I can celebrate with my friends.

Book Review: Why Not Me? – Mindy Kaling

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“I am notorious for making impassioned speeches about things nobody cares about.”
Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me?
Back again after first hilarious book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Mindy Kaling has more advice to share with us mere mortals about how to get through life and how hers has changed between the two books. In her funny and honest awkward big sister style of writing Kaling has once again packed in a whole range of topics to keep you reading until the early hours.
After loving Mindy’s last book I asked for this and thankfully my boyfriend’s sister gave it to me on Christmas Eve nicely wrapped and I couldn’t wait to tear off the paper and fall into a funny book. There’s not doubt that Kaling has gone through some hardship in her life, she frequently reminds us of the chubby little indian girl she was growing up, but uses it to propel the humor and remind us readers that she’s not so different from us after all, despite her success.
There’s a load of different topics once again, although this time I found them to be put together a lot better and the book to just have a bit more of a flow than her first, which just shows that she’s growing as an author. With thoughts of Weddings, her feelings when her show was pulled (before it was later saved by Hulu), more hilarious boy stories, a day in the life of Mindy Kaling and thoughts about her own body it really is like talking to a, very excitable, friend. Hell, she even tells you what to bring to her dinner party, if only we were invited.
I found that this book was a lot more focused on her role as a writer and actress and it was interesting to hear her perspective on what it is like to work in television. It was also comforting to hear about the times when things didn’t go well or when she screwed things up, because as a 21 year old who’s about to graduate I needed to hear that it’s ok to not know what you’re going to do next. This was something that was touched upon in the first book but really comes alive and she shows you just how much hard work goes into making, writing and filming The Mindy Project.
I gave Why Not Me five stars *****. I honestly think it was an improvement on the much loved Is Everyone Hanging Out Without me, just because Mindy seems to have found her voice and rhythm as an author now, making it even easier and funnier to read. I’m going to be lending the two books out to a friend of mine in the next few weeks because I just feel like this a book that all young women should read, because Mindy show’s just how much hard work plays a part of success rather than luck. It might sound cheesy but it really does leave you thinking, Why Not Me?

My First Dyslexic Session

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Way back in first year I discovered that I am in fact, dyslexic, and quite seriously so as my educational psychologist report says. There was a lack of tutors for me to start tutoring when I requested it in first year, I then developed the attitude of ‘well I got this far without it so why bother’ partly to hide my feelings. I wasn’t embarrassed to be dyslexic at all, in fact it made my constant troubles with punctuation, grammar and spelling that have lost me so many marks over the years. All in all I just didn’t want another label and have to answer more questions because people didn’t believe me. I love to read, I have done since I was a little girl, people see Dyslexia as not being able to read or write but that’s not what mine is, it has such a broad spectrum! I guess I just didn’t want another label on me.

Fast Forward to a few weeks ago and I was struggling with my course work I didn’t have anyone to have a read over for me or help me understand what was going on with my work on a regular basis. Some friends would help but it wasn’t fair to keep asking when they had their own assignments to do. I decided to try and get the tutoring again, because otherwise my allowance from the DSA was just sitting there not being used. Because it is run by a different company I quickly got a response and was booked in to see a tutor.

I was nervous, I’m really independent when I work so it was something I’d never done before. I shouldn’t have worried, my new tutor is absolutely lovely and respects the achievements and way of working I have. All my sessions will be lead by me and what I want to cover, while my mentor will suggest things that make my life easier in terms of my writing. You never know, the blog might improve too! So, every week I’ll be taking work with me for us to look at and try to make it better, meaning I’ll hopefully get a better grade.

Fingers crossed!

Buried under assignments

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I’m writing this to you from my ‘desk’ that is covered in note pads, glasses, sticky notes, the occasional book (although most of them are in a pile on the floor next to me) and the hard work vibes I seem to be radiating. I’m writing a short post tonight because as you can guess from the title I’ve been working my butt off for the past few days to finish my assignment.

Because of my recent illness, I’ve been told stress is the worst thing for me right now. I actually laughed at the doctor when they said I need to be less stressed, because let’s face it the final part of third year is not a walk in the park BUT on with positivity. I managed to get to the gym this morning and work off some of the stress before having to go to an ultrasound appointment, which came back CLEAR! Yippie! Between and after I’ve been glued to my desk working on a 6000 word assignment, although the good news is that after writing it on and off since Saturday I am now sitting at 3740 words, so close!

Tomorrow will be for working on my dissertation which isn’t in as good a shape as I thought it was and needs a LOT of work doing to it before submission next week. I’m trying not to get stressed about it and instead working on just getting as much done as I can and taking regular breaks. That said, I currently cannot stand my dissertation, but I’m told this is a normal part of third year. Hopefully I can get at least 2 essays close to being done when I come back from Easter break and then only have 2 others to focus on. Definitely looking forward to 11.01 on the 2nd of May when all my assignments are submitted.

So that’s a little insight into my frazzled mind at the moment and my slightly frazzled life, now excuse me while I finally get to cuddle my hamsters before passing out in bed.

Why are we so freaked out about periods?!

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This year I took a writing women class, I was sceptical before taking it and even now I’m usually the one to have a different opinion to the others in my class. That said, it’s also one of the most rewarding classes I’ve ever taken because of the reading list. The reading I did over the summer made me sure in my heart that I am a feminist and that not all feminists are going to agree on certain things. One of my lecturers described Caitlin Moran as ridiculous, whereas I see Caitlin as one of my idols as a feminist and as a writer. If everyone agreed on everything, life would be boring.

For my essay for the class I’ve chosen to look at the female body in autobiographical poetry, specifically menstruation, sex and the womb. My lecturers seemed pretty pleased with the idea and I appear to be on a role with writing it with almost 2500 words written in a few bursts over the weekend. When I told my male friends I’d been writing about periods all weekend I was met with a queasy look. These are men in their 20s in 2016 and they still looked grossed out at the thought of periods. I don’t know about you, but I find that really funny.

As Caitlin Moran has said in many interviews, it’s not like us women are thrilled by them either, ‘looking down in our pants and thinking oh fuck it’s you again’. I agree with her, they’re irritating, painful and messy. Not something any woman needs in her life. What struck me as odd though, through my research is that through this day and age we still stay quiet about our periods.

There are adverts on television with daisies and talking about being nice and happy on your period. Um, no tampon or pad will make you feel happy. As the picture says, your body is actually pretty aggressive towards you for a week of every month. When I was younger I would be in so much pain I couldn’t move and just cried constantly. Now, because of my implant, I have lesser cramps, still cry a lot and generally feel really moody or irritable, which makes me a nightmare to live with. Oh and I’m totally cliché when it comes to chocolate, I really do stock up.

I do think it’s something that needs to just be able to be a part of normal conversation. They do suck, but they’re a part of the majority of women’s monthly lives. It’s something that keeps the human race going, so you know it’s kind of important. Yes there’s blood, whoop de doo, there’s also a history of it being ignored and it really shouldn’t be, we’re more grown up than this.

To end this on a funny note here’s the hilarious Emma Blackery video ‘If tampon commercials were honest’.