Book Review: Go Set a Watchman – Harper Lee

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Five minutes ago I put down my copy of Go Set a Watchman in a state of, well, loss but also amazement. To Kill a Mockingbird is without a doubt one of my favourite books ever. I fell in love with it as a sixteen year old and it sparked a love that not many other books have. I’ve been worried about reading it because of all the controversy in the news but I had to read it anyway, it’s a sequel to a novel I’ve treasured for years.

While there have been numerous bad reviews of the novel, this will not be one. Is this novel as polished as To Kill a Mockingbird? No, I don’t think so. I also think that the negativity is because of what people wanted to read. They wanted the world to be free from racism and for Scout to still be the lovable kid we first read about. The difference is that Scout, now called by her real name Jean Louise, has grown up. She’s twenty-six years old and a lot has changed for her. She no longer had older brother Jem and her best friend Dill to rely on (something which initially upset me but made sense at the end of the novel) and has to make her own sense of the world.

Before long and reader familiar with Lee’s work falls into Maycomb again. While 20 years have passed, it seems to Jean Louise Maycomb has stayed frozen in time. She’s still told off by Aunt Alexandra for not being as feminine as she should be, which made me laugh. While the sleepy town is the same, the reader is introduced to Henry, a Maycomb County boy, Atticus’s law partner and Jean Louise’s on, off love interest. The relationship between the two characters is vital to the plot and to Jean Louise becoming who she is at the end of the novel.

There has been a lot of controversy about Atticus, people have screamed about him being racist and letting go of everything he stood for in To Kill a Mockingbird. I don’t want to spoil the novel, but I do want to say wait. Read the book before you get mad and start ranting. If you start reading and want to throw it at all wall, carry on because I promise you there is a reason for this, a reason that is vital for Scout to grow into JEan Louise.

I could not put this book down for the life of me. I needed to read it, even when I was frustrated or didn’t understand (there is a lot of historical knowledge that I wasn’t too sharp on) I needed to get to the end. I found that I really connected with Jean Louise, she will always be Scout to me though. I just felt what she was feeling, when you go back to your hometown and you just feel like you stick out. When you need to realise that ultimately, everyone is human, even if it hurts.

Aside from the heavy parts of this novel, some of which had me on the edge of sobbing my heart out, there is laughter. The novel gives us glimpses of our favourite trio growing up. It felt almost like a comfort blanket reading about Scout, Jem and Dill and the things they got up to after that eventful summer, as well as who they grew up to be.

I thought long and hard while reading about how I was going to rate this and what I thought of it. While reading the majority of it I had a solid 3 star review in my head, and then I got to part seven, which changed everything. It explained what I needed explaining and made me think about my own life. I have to give it to Harper Lee if she can take credit for anything it’s making people think.

I want to give the novel four stars ****. Before people question it, let me just say there was something in this novel that caught me. Jean Louise is only six years older than me and I felt a connection with what she see’s and how she tries to make sense of the world around her. Lee has taken To Kill a Mockingbird and shown us again that life isn’t clearly divided into good and bad, black and white. I think for anyone who loved To Kill a Mockingbird, Go Set a Watchman is a must read, especially for those of us at a confusing time in our lives.

Review by Chloe Metzger

Why do I blog? Two years on and what started it all.

For the last few days I’ve been spending my time with some great students. These guys are around 16/17, just finished their first year of college or sixth form and are thinking about going to university and we got to show them around, take them to taster lectures and answer any questions that they had. So I loved working with these guys and they asked some great questions, one of which really got me thinking. Why do I blog?

Ah! Why do I blog? I really had to think so I just kind of went through the last few years and realised that it might be an idea to share it with you guys. SO first blog, my first blog was about books surprise, surprise.Basically my Mum was always nagging me to get rid of some books every time I bought new ones, so as a reason to keep them I set out to review as many as possible and fell in love with it. I done that weekly for about two years until I realised that I wanted to write about my experiences of uni.

I wanted to create a second blog for a while and played around with ideas and themes while I was 18 until I realised what wanted to read. I wanted to read about people like me. People who had no idea about uni, started completely clueless and to tell the truth about what it was really like. Around the same time I finally got a mental health diagnoses and I was passionate about including that too. So this blog was born on the 1st September 2013 (although it’s changed names several times before I realised my own name was pretty awesome).

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The beautiful picture of a very fresh faced looking me the week I got into university, aww. 

I knew what I wasn’t your typical student, at the time I didn’t really go out drinking, I was in a long term relationship and I had terrible Anxiety and Depression related issues. BUT! I knew I wanted to write almost every day about my experiences and my life so that others could find it and have a reference point and someone to ask questions too.

My reasons have evolved over the years such as: 

– I love to write every day, it keeps me constantly thinking and in practice

– Mental health is important and needs as much help as possible to beat the stigma 

– You don’t get a manual on how to be a student…so you might as well have some true experiences 

– I love talking to people! I have some great friends online now, like Caitlin, Alwyn Ash and so many more! 

– I had no idea what uni was about and was fed up of generic guides which were all positive! 

– I absolutely love it 

So why do I blog? For so many different reasons but mostly because I genuinely enjoy it. I’ve had people be SO impressed with the fact that I write nearly every day, but I just see that as normal. It’s not a diary (there would be a lot of swearing if it was) but it’s just me being able to reflect and share that with you all.

So I’m nearly two year in now and I love it. I plan to carry on this blog for as long as I possibly can really. I also want it to get better! I have already started my weekly book reviews, a few opinion pieces and I will be starting more top 10 and uni advice blogs! I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this and if you’re even slightly considering creating your own blog, go and do it! Why not! Drop me a comment with your blogs below and I will try to follow as many as possible.

Thanks for reading guys and check back in tomorrow for a new book review! Also can I please say thank you SO much to everyone who has followed me, I now have 600 followers! I want to get to 1000 by Christmas and who knows I might do some kind of prize…ohhhhhhh!

Education is a gift like no other

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I don’t always know what to write about. This evening was like that, a blank screen in front of me and searching for some kind of inspiration. People have asked me today how I can blog every day, how I stay motivated. I don’t really know, I suppose it’s just something I’m really proud of and it’s fun for me. I’d love to make a career out of this, but it’s not the sole reason I write it.

I spent today at work with a bunch of great students. They’re only two to three years younger than me but we’re kind of mentoring them as they apply for university and help answer any of their questions. I sat in on two taster sessions today, one for Media and another for Criminology, two subjects I’d never encountered before. I watched the lecturers and heard their passion for the subject and it inspired me. I’ve been getting more and more passionate about becoming a lecturer lately. People give me a list of reason not to do it; it’s too expensive, you haven’t lived yet, can you earn enough from it, what do you have to teach. There’s this fierce passion in me and from simply watching the impact the lecturers had on young people it reminded me why I want to study until I’m 25.

There is nothing in my decision about being scared about going into the ‘real world’. I want the challenge, the stimulation, the creativity that being an academic in Literature brings. I can still do other things, I can write books, still do social media. It’s not something I see as preventing me from doing anything, instead I see it as opening more doors than ever. It’s true what they say, education is the best gift of all, no one can take it away from you.

I wanted to write this to remind myself when I’m having a tough time with my dissertation this year or when I feel like giving up later on. I want to remember this excitement and happiness at the thought of studying and exploring literature. I’m a geek and I’m proud.

Image from http://www.girlsgonesporty.com/articles/fitness/using-we-heart-it-to-maximize-fitness-inspiration/

I miss fitness! My thoughts on ‘being brave’ and keeping going.

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Now I’ve said before that I’m not a health and fitness fanatic. If there was an option between a healthy snack and something covered in chocolate I’d bite your hand off for the chocolate. I made some healthier choices this year, I walked to uni most days (unless it was a Thursday morning, early starts after a late night are not a good idea), I swam occasionally and for the first time in my life I embraced a sport and did it every week. I’m also stubborn and have a rebellious streak. Normally if someone told me that I wasn’t allowed to ride I’d prove them wrong and get on, going twice as fast. I can’t do that right now.

To say that all this stress hasn’t been easy is an understatement. It’s not in the way that people see it. I keep getting told that I’m brave, that I’m so inspiring. To be honest I find it incredible that people are so sympathetic to me fracturing my spine but 6 years of mental health problems didn’t get any cards or bravery speeches, but that’s another blog post. I mean yeah I suppose to other people they really can’t imagine just getting on with life after breaking a vital part of your body, but do I feel brave? No. I just feel like I’m getting on with it. It’s something I spoke to my parents about the other day after people were told about me and just were amazed. It was nice and they were lovely people but I just said to my parents, wouldn’t everyone just get on with their lives? Apparently not, but I was raised to just battle on through.

So after yesterday’s post it’s clear that I’m still up and down, still getting there. Today a low decided to hit. I think it’s post festival blues, combined with stressing about the future and being tired from my back pain. It was relatively normal stuff and I wasn’t miserable or ‘meh’ all day, it was more when I was alone. I realised that the things I’d normally do when I feel bad, I couldn’t do and it just made me want to curl up under my duvet and cry. I didn’t. I finished the book I started reading last night and spoke to a few friends.

I never realised that exercise was something I’d miss, but then again I suppose you don’t until it’s something that you can’t do. I want to do some sit ups to get rid of a little excess weight, I want to sign up to gym, run around with the kids at work, swim without worrying I won’t be able to get out of the pool. Hell I’d like to be able to have a bath without worrying that I will get stuck!

The one thing I have though is writing, writing this or songs or fiction. I have to get out of the clouded stage before I can write anything but I can feel it lifting more and more as I type this. I am struggling a little bit with my exercise and little walks to clear my head. I suppose it’s one of the biggest challenges to my mental health it’s all the things I’d usually avoid. If I try and search for a positive in all this I suppose I can see that I’ve been there once and even though I’ve spent a good amount of time on my own, I’m currently missing my friends like a limb and I deal with physical pain every day I’m getting through it one day at a time.

I know this is a long blog but I can almost bet anything that someone out there will read this and understand. That someone will understand the both freeing and unnerving feeling that I have to go through this low without my normal strategies. I’m ok though, really. I have a good few days lined up and for once I can remember that these lows don’t last forever.

Thanks for reading guys, as usual I’d love to hear from you. Oh! And thank you to every single one of you following me on twitter, another 100 followers in the past few weeks! It really put a smile on my face!

How am I really?

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Hello everyone. I realised reading through my blog that I really haven’t spoken about how I am, mentally I mean. All of my regular readers know about my spine and all that stuff but I did want to write this blog to share my experiences. So how am I really? Well things have been pretty up and down. Even in the last few weeks I’ve been taken hostage by my emotions after a lot of upheavals.

Honestly, I have had my struggles lately. Two of my best friends have moved to New Zealand, I’ve picked up three jobs, going between hospital appointments and just generally learning to cope with the pain of my spine. Not all of these have been necessarily bad or terrible all of the time but as you can imagine it doesn’t make controlling my moods easier. I think the tiredness isn’t easy either.

Living with a mental health condition is just something that I’ve learnt to deal with it. Is it a walk in the park? No. Is it always easy? Definitely not. I am trying to deal with it as best I can though with the help I have and the things I’ve learnt. I still have days where my bed is my best friend and facing the world is what I want to do least but there have been some positives. I’m starting to control the anger and frustration in a healthier way and be able to try and talk to the people around me and just admit when I’m not doing too good and just need some time or some space. I’m getting better at knowing what I need too.

I’m not healed, I might never be, but I’m okay with that. I’ve got through before and no matter how bad it gets, I have some strategies or I know who to talk to because I finally have a good medical team around me. I know right now I’m lucky and when I can pull myself out of that black hole enough to see it, it makes me so happy.

So answering the question, I’m getting through. I’m having more good days than I am bad, which for me is incredible. When I do get sad, anxious or start to develop a panic attack I can look at my tattoo and it reminds me one day at a time, that’s all that matters.

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Basingstooooooke

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Me, Ali, Rhys, Ben, Dan and my bodyguard for the day, Joe. 

Just a quick blog to say how awesome Basingstoke Live was! As usual a wicked crowd, the boys were great and I had a fab time, surrounded by friends and family. I might have had to sit down for a good part of the set (damn spine), but I think it was the best my voice has ever sounded. Now I’m off to get some Chinese food and play Cards Against Humanity. Oh and if you want to check us out (you know you do) go visit http://www.nopeopleclub.com!

Book Review: The Book Thief – Markus Zusak

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The Book Thief contains a few things you need to know about. A young girl, an old couple, a Jewish fist fighter, Hitler and Death. Sounds simple, right?  Liesel herself in a new town with a doting foster father and a sharp tongued foster mother, trying to understand why she can’t see her mother any more. But Liesel Memminger is haunted, haunted by the ghost of her younger brother whom she watched die. Another thing you should know she is a thief, but the novel is about more than that.

The novel is a about a young girl and a country that will never be the same after war. As Liesel, Hanns (her stepfather) and Rosa (her stepmother) hide a young Jewish man they know they are risking their lives, from such risk comes a beautiful tale. The problem with novels as good as this is that you don’t want to ruin any part of it because you love it so much. I will say though the novel is a long one but in a nice way. It’s the kind of book that you can take a break from but as soon as you turn another page you fall straight back into the story. I must tell you that Liesel is quite possibly the cleverest thief you will ever encounter in literature after she is given the gift of education – something no one can take away- she continues to feed that eagerness at all costs.

Which leads me on to another character I have to mention, because I know you will fall in love with him. Rudy is Liesel’s neighbour, a sweet boy who idolises black athlete Jesse Owens in the middle of Nazi Germany. As you can assume this does not work in his favour. The relationship between him and Liesel is one of my favourite parts of the novel though, without him I doubt the Book Thief would have become who she was. It is the childlike simplicity that really recounts the horrors of war, of children that cannot understand the fighting or why some parents never come home.

Although it’s a questionable concept, Death makes and incredible narrator and he was one of the best characters. Who would have thought death could be so kind, caring and thoughtful. Oh and let’s not forget funny, there is great humour in the book even if it seems sad. I laughed more than I ever wanted to cry and it wasn’t just little laughs that would escape me, it was loud laughter which is rare. Death is a curious character, reminiscent of a gentle old man trying to teach lessons to the young. By having war recounted by someone or something which many of us would assume reveled in war Zusak has done something incredible; very few authors could open someone’s mind as he has.

“Even death has a heart.”

At times the book made my heart hurt. I could see the scenes playing out in front of me, I wanted to look away but I couldn’t. I wanted to reach out but I wasn’t really there. What Zusak has done with his magical description should not be taken lightly. I have not read novel like this that is so vivid in a very long time. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry and I wanted to make sure nothing like this could ever happen again. It’s incredible that even though this is fiction, it feels as if it could be real and that is the magic of a good story teller, they made you believe the book is real.This book made me cry, and I’m grateful. It is a stunning piece of literature that I want to read again and again.

I can’t give this book anything less than five stars *****, something I don’t give lightly. I remember not reading this book years ago when I had the chance and I wish someone had shaken me! Zusak is an incredible writer, so much so that if he never wrote again this book would be enough. If you haven’t read it, you should need to, it is beautiful and one of the best novels ever written.

Review by Chloe Metzger

I can write a book….right?

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Walking around Waterstones (my bank accounts worst enemy), I marvel at all the books and just feel happy and calm surrounded by all the literature around me. Well apart from 50 shades, but I pretend that doesn’t exist. I feel so amazed and confident, all these books have been written, I can write one too. Right? Right! Then I go home, get a blank word document up and stare at my screen for a good few hours.

When I’m not thinking about writing I get so many ideas it’s unreal, when I can I scribble them and wish I could just stop and continue writing. The times I set aside to actually write I’m stuck. I’m stuck in a frenzy of wanting perfection, wanting to know where I’m going with this. Two months ago I was lucky enough to be accepted to spend a week studying in Athens for Kingston University’s Creative Writing Summer School. I had the best time, met like minded people and got some great tips and feedback on the novel I was working on. I flew back to the UK and now I’m stuck again.

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Some of the inspiration in Athens 

Some writers compare writing a novel to a really long labour. Once it’s finished and you have the finished thing everything’s lovely and wonderful but while you’re trying to birth this magical piece of literature there is blood, sweat and tears and lots of them. Now as you know, I’ve never had a child (nor do I really want to at this point, I’ll stick to babysitting) but I can understand this thought process. Writing this book is on my mind 24/7, sometimes I feel like I eat, sleep and breath wanting to get it done. Ther problem is I have a huge enemy…myself.

Come on, hands up my fellow writers, who feeds their inner critic? Who’s let them get big and fat off of fears and negativity. Yes, I’m guilty of it as well. I, like many of you reading this, am a perfectionist. I give everything I care about 110% and that, in writing is not always a good thing. I stop myself sometimes from making progress because I’m so fixated on things not being quite right or some feedback that someone has given me. But I do have ideas! I really, really do. I have ideas that I’m working on about families, I have ideas for YA Literature and nonfiction too. I know it’s there I just need to unlock everything that’s there.

How about you all? I’d love to hear what you think and how you deal with the blocks! Leave me a message in the comments below!

Gone but not forgotten, remembering 7/7

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10 years ago, London fell silent, what was first thought to be a power surge was actually more than anyone could imagine, a terror attack on our beautiful capital. Everyone remembers where they were when these things happen,  I was only 10 years old at the time, I even remember what I was wearing. I was heading back from a physio appointment with my Mum in her car (some things never change) and something came on the radio about something happening in London, being 10 years old I didn’t really understand or think much of it.

I didn’t go back to school, Mum took me home and my Dad was there it must have been his day off. He was trying to call his friend, Lee, but he couldn’t get through I just remember he kept calling. I still didn’t really understand properly but when Dad took me to get food shopping the next day the above picture was all over the papers, I remember both wanting to look and covering my eyes. My parents told me everyone needed to carry on, when they were kids bombs were going off in London all the time (when the IRA were around) , what had happened was awful but I wasn’t to be scared.

I’ve grown up with the constant reminders of 9/11 but there was something in my heart that made me never want to forget about 7/7. I wanted to keep getting the tube the older I got and not let fear dictate me (even though getting trapped on the underground is one of my worst fears). For the past few days I’ve read about each and every one of the people who were murdered 10 years ago, because they deserve to be remembered. I’ve sat and thought about them a lot today, their families, the people who tried to give them the dignity they deserved in death.

I decided to write a poem for them.

It didn’t seem different, like any other day

Rushing from the house

Can’t be late, can’t be late

London will never be the same.

The trains pull out of stations,

You think about the day ahead,

The pride of the Olympics

Something funny someone said.

But then everything is different,

You can’t see any more.

Everythings so dark, so dark

why are you on the floor.

The hours tick by and London’s awake

Clinging to the news, trying to guess their loved ones fate.

‘Did you hear about the bus?’ No one want’s to say.

It’s been 10 years now since that fateful day,

their hate will not replace the love of Londoners.

We’ll bow our heads in mourning, and remember each and every one.

Not just those who aren’t here today, but those replaying it, coping in their own way.

We will not forget you, or let your London down.

All we can hope is that we do your memory proud.

Image from the BBC

Goodbyes

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I’m writing this post with both a heavy heart and endless excitement. In the next two days two of my best friends will be getting on a plane and heading to New Zealand for a year of exciting adventures and studying! Eleanor and Maisha have bigger lady balls than I ever will and I am so proud of both of them for not only getting on to the programme in the first place but accepting. It seems to strange that come September it will only be me, Dani and Amy heading into our third and final year of our undergrad degree.

I wanted to write this small post just to say how bloody proud I am of them, how much I am going to miss them (words can’t even describe) and that I know for a fact both of them will have the time of their lives out there. I love both of you girls so, so much. Good Luck ❤