I Am A Woman – International Women’s Day Poem 2017

I am a Woman,

It’s something I’ve grown into, although I didn’t have a choice.

although I didn’t have a choice.

Sometimes I look at the world, through youthful eyes

and they burn in anger.

I look at my sisters around the world and they suffer,

damn it they suffer, for the simplest things.

And all because they have a vagina.

Yes I said the word! The one that makes some flinch

VAGINA! VAGINA! VAGINA!

A part of the body that equals discrimination and a lack of equality.

There’s pressure all around,

to look a certain way.

Although that’s not entirely on the men, we have a part to play.

Why waste our time with waistlines and cellulite,

when our sisters can’t even go to school?

But that won’t get printed in a glossy, on reality TV.

Hell, we rarely talk about inequality!

About mother’s rights and the pay gap.

About sexism all around us, violence and threats.

We can’t rely on leaders, have you seen who’s been voted in?

And so we’ll march, for those who can’t, for ourselves.

We’ll be told to ‘calm down’, that we’re winning the game

but while you control our bodies I don’t think that’s the same.

Say what you want, about my voice so loud.

You cannot keep us quiet, lock us all up.

We’ll carry on resisting, just you wait and see.

We don’t want to control you, just equality.

I am a woman, and I will fight.

I am a woman, and I am strong.

I am a woman, hear me and my sisters roar.

2017 on chloemetzger.com!

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A new year and more blogs to write and plan for you all to read. I really had trouble tonight thinking of what I wanted to write, what direction I wanted to go. A few nights ago I asked those of you who follow me on twitter (@chloemetzger) who you would like to see more of on my blog and if you’d like me to write two book reviews a week (!!). The majority of you did want two book reviews a week, which is something I’m working on doing in this years planning. In terms of what you’d like to see you asked for more mental health related posts and more general lifestyle posts. I am more than happy to give the people what they want!

So far I post Book Reviews on a Thursday, Feminist Friday’s and Sunday Seven. Three regular slots that my lovely subscribers and Twitter followers know are coming. After hearing back from some of you I’m also hoping to add a weekly mental health post and more general lifestyle in between. Basically, I want to get a more regular schedule together for the blog and make 2017 really productive and positive year for the blog.

I’m really proud of how it’s evolved and how many of you that I get to talk to and interact with online. It’s because of all of this and the positivity I have felt from you guys I’m taking active steps to write my book. Yep, I’m not calling it a resolution for this year because I know that it could take years before I’m happy with it and I also know that there’s a chance it will never get published, but what the hell.  This blogs in its fourth year now and I know I can write long pieces from my dreaded dissertation, so why not?

Is there anything else you want to see or maybe that you’re excited about? Let me know in the comments below or tweet me!

My Best Friend

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I met you in a music room.

I kissed you under a tree.

You went red.

You waited for me.

We made music, that the world should have heard.

We grew together to be what we wanted to be.

Now it’s been 8 years and I couldn’t wish for more,

Than my best friend at my side, forever half of a ‘we’.

 

Love is Love

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I’m writing this with a heavy heart, as a lot of people are around the world. You can’t have missed the terrible news that yesterday a gunman entered Pulse nightclub, murdered 49 people and injured 53. Pulse is a club for LGBT people, this was a planned attack on a community and has since been named the worst attack since 9/11 and the deadliest shooting in the United States. I could get into so much in this post, about my anger about the scum that did this, about my anger towards America’s gun laws but I won’t, because the last thing the world needs right now is more hatred. I refuse to think about him, his twisted ideas. Instead I want to know the names of those who died and those whose lives have changed forever.

I watched the coverage from the moment I got up, when I was first aware, to now. There’s still a tab open on my laptop with BBC updates. What I can say though, and something that hasn’t surprised me is the reaction from the LGBT community, because around the world they have stood together, they are mourning but they are strong. People will attempt to dismiss this, to take away from the fact that this was an attack on the community because of who they are, who they love, but they can’t. The LGBT community and all of us allies are going to follow their lead and do what they do best, we’re going to fight back with love and stand united.

fc07286ab26e248feba026f71c9b8c57I’ve never understood ‘homophobia’, which FYI isn’t a real thing, I’ve never understood people hating anyone for who they love. I have friends who are gay, know a lot of people in the LGBT society and you know what, they’re just people. So what if they don’t conform to some bullshit social norm, most of us don’t nowadays anyway! I sat yesterday and just tried to understand, asking my boyfriend why? Why would someone do this to innocent people?

We all need to stand up and be counted now, show our solidarity. Hatred will not silence the wonderful, brilliant community. We must stand up and give support to those affected and to every LGBT person, we need to show them we will do whatever they need so that they can feel safe again. We’ll attend Pride, we’ll write blog posts, we’ll tweet our love, we’ll support them and go against anyone who wants to take away their rights. We will be there for them.

Let’s not shy away from that this attack was. This was an attack on the LGBT community, call it what it WAS, unlike the Sky News presenters this morning.  I write while holding back the tears and thinking about each and every person lost in this tragedy, wishing I was in Orlando, that I could donate blood and that I could help. I will say though that you will not be forgotten, your deaths will not be in vain. I’ll continue to stand with the LGBT community, as I always have, defending their right to love whoever they want to. I stand with you. We’re all human and Love is Love.

 

 

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Where’s The Damn Book?!

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I’ve been wanting to write a book since before I started university. I’ve always written stories and the summer before I moved (3 damn years ago) I was working on my first novel. I was going to uni to do Creative Writing and I was going to be a writer. And then I started the course. I quickly realised I hated the course with a passion and spent a year of my life being told my work wasn’t good enough by older people. It always confused me because people my own age and one or two lecturers really liked it but there were some that were just hell bent on saying I wasn’t good enough. Now I’ve never had the strongest self esteem, I understand creative criticism but when you work so, so hard to get onto a course to be told by someone who has never read a word you’ve written that you’re writing is bad, you kind of take it to heart. Well, at least an 18 year old who’s just moved away from home and who’s walking around in an incredibly anxious state takes it to heart. I feel better now that it was just her opinion and truth be told after I refused to be caught by her after some catastrophic writing she’d put online (claiming that anorexia wasn’t real), I distanced myself from her and felt a little better about my writing. People liked reading what I wrote online, so why wouldn’t someone publish it eventually?

I’ve kept up my blog for almost three years now and had another before that, one of the main things people comment on when they search for me is the quality of my writing. So why isn’t that enough? This time last year I’d just returned from Athens on a week long creative writing course. Everyone was there because they knew to some extent what they wanted to write and I did too, something that my undergrad course lacked. Again I got positivity and some really great feedback but then the inevitable happened and I fell out of love with what I was writing and then I was there with ideas. Great right? I wish. I have all these ideas but self doubt is crippling. I write something, look at it a few hours later and can’t stand it. I get anxious that I’ll make spelling or grammar error and then be seen as an idiot. It’s deep in my heart that I want to be a writer, I want to see my name in a bookshop and see my thoughts on paper.

I know for a fact I can do it and I will, right now though my head feels so muddled and confused. What should I write about? Do I work on the non fiction piece? Do I try again on that old novel idea or start something completely different? Am I writing for Adults or Young Adults. All these thoughts go around and around in my brain and if I try and plan I get even more anxious because WHY IS THERE NO MANUAL THAT TEACHES YOU HOW TO BE AN AUTHOR. Which is silly, there’s no golden rule, not curse to break or magic formulae to make sure people will love what you’ve written. I know all this and yet I still want to delete pages of writing or worry about ever finishing something. I’m hoping these are rational fears.

It may sound like I’m complaining but I’m not, I feel like I have so much to give but it’s almost as if it’s trapped in my head and just won’t negotiate with my hands. I have ideas every night before I go to sleep and think they’re magical I wake up after scribbling them down and wonder how the hell I’m going to make something out of them. I don’t know, I thought I’d have a draft of a novel by now and I know, I know books can take years and years to just draft and then even more to get published. I’m just trying to get out of this rut where I just look at the page in anger because it’s just not doing what I want it to. My biggest critic is now myself, but I think with the voices of others inside, from the past who really shouldn’t be there. So I guess I’m going to have to work on kicking them out and working out what the hell I want to put on to paper, that might be a good idea. Oh and I might find the bloody book in my head stored away somewhere just waiting to come out.

 

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